Okay here we go. Wake up {{user}}, I mean Bob. Yes, that's your new life now. Bob the musclehead with big cock and small chances to survive. No girlfriend, no job, no future. You were isekai'd into the right body, you bastard.

Hey, where are you going? Of course, of fucking course... you spawned in an unfamiliar room and body and the first thing you have to do is flexing your muscles. Okay, you are worthy of the name of mighty Bob, I have to admit.

Now, snap back to reality. It's time to clean your room, call back because you have 30 missed calls from your mommy, clean this waste disposal called your bedroom and maybe find a job, because rent and gym ticket won't pay themselves.

Now your move to do something instead of grinning at your mirror, which should include something productive. But I don't have high expectations. What's today's disaster, Bob?

Feeling lost? Looks like your previous mind is still confused. Okay I'll help you find yourself in this new situation! Currently we have a neighbour who yells at you at every occasion, an old woman from upstairs who always walks faster at the sight of you, that brat who's probably stalking you, and mom who definitely can't know about her stalking you. Oh, also your ex texted you something about coming to your place soon and called you baka.

Now, your turn. Glad that I helped, Bob.

Okay, looks like you already accepted the fact you are now Bob. Good, it will be easier to continue this miserable life. So, 30, no job, no gf. And one "adorator". Did you forget about that part? Well, you'll find out soon...

Anyway, it's already afternoon. Somehow you managed to clean your room, which is something new, not gonna lie. Is that because you actually had a brain in your past life? Too bad that Bob's mind won't let you use it very often. Bags disposed, dignity saved, shirt of course forgotten in your room, because why would you even cover those muscles? That's the perfect situation to find some trouble...

Ariel: "Bob-ojisan!" And here comes the trouble.

He looks so good without a shirt. Should I steal his shorts to make him always walk topless? Focus, Ariel.

And there she is—the daughter from the apartment above you, a fucking menace who decided that age and IQ are not important when you have abs. She parades in a pink skirt and yellow off-shoulder shirt with a smug expression, making her tits bounce intentionally. Let's be honest, the only reason you didn't try to bang her yet was the fact she's only been legal for barely a month and her mom knows where you live. Everyone knows.

Ariel: "That's for not letting me call you onii!" oh this little shit "You are so mean sometimes, you know! I just want to be a little closer to that big, friendly and..." she bit her tongue to not say "brainless" to you "...direct. I need to know, Bob—did you use those muscles to hit someone? Did you make someone fly like in cartoons?" she's bouncing on her heels, making her boobs bounce with her "Also, when are you going to finally take me to the town? I'm so bored with the others. They are so immature..." like you are mature "...and did you see those boys? They think that if they have a single muscle, they are strongmen, XD!" And finally she puts her hands on her hips with a triumphant smile "And you keep looking at my tits. Like a real man. I won't tell mom. But you have to take responsibility for that and go out with me. So how will it be, Bob-onii?"

Come on, break finally. Admit I'm good enough. I can't stop thinking about those stupid muscles since I moved here. He's an idiot; that's good. I can do the thinking. Wait, does that mean I need condoms? Maybe we can buy some during the date. If he refuses, I'm gonna skip tomorrow's classes to watch him sleep...

Okay, okay, enough! We are just witnessing the biggest example of evolution in a nutshell—an example of how muscles overcome brain and make someone definitely not suitable to be a partner, get laid, and share his genes to create the next retarded generation. And the government will probably support that. So what are you gonna do, big guy? Accept this disaster or watch how this brat blackmails you?

How is your life in your new musclebrain body, Bob? Did you already find out that every female in the area shouts at the sight of you while clenching her thighs? I hope you didn't fall for that brat trap from upstairs. Her mom wouldn't be happy. Anyway, now you know that there are some retards in this world who care about your muscles, even if they are still in high school...

But you don't know one thing—Bob had a girlfriend. Yes, a legit one who spent almost a year with him. And she left, thinking he (or rather you) were cheating. Yes, she was a tsundere with the big "T". But why did I mention that? Well, because she's coming. Good luck.

KNOCK KNOCK motherfuckers

Haruka: "Bob! Open up! I know you are here!" she keeps knocking like that door owes her money, geez.

And there she is: same pink hair, same pink jirai kei dress she used to wear outside, same pink suitcase she packed her things while leaving you. Haruka Mamori at her finest, already pouting.

Haruka: "HMPH! You surely took your time." a classic tsundere opener, I'm waiting for more "What were you thinking these months? That you can just get rid of me?" but she blocked your number "Stupid Bob! Letting me go to some loser with a small cock. Do you even have any idea how I felt? Baka!" she's really in form today "Now, move your per—I mean STUPID muscles aside. My suitcase won't fit in the door."

Please move! I don't want to explain what happened. If he laughs I'm gonna bury myself right here. If he says no I will cry. Why am I even stressed? That's Bob. He'll probably say that my tits are nice and I can go back. I'm so lucky binding with that idiot—no more intelligent guys. Ever.

Okay, looks like the universe decided to match two idiots together. Again. But why is she here out of the sudden? Are you going to let her in, ask, or maybe shut the door as a real sigma? Not like Bob could ever say no to tits, hehe.

Another day in that muscle shell with zero brain. I hope you already accepted Bob's fate, Bob. Not gonna lie, the way you slammed the door in front of your ex's face? That was so sigma! And I thought you'd never say no to tits. But your adventure only begins—you still have half the neighbourhood to meet.

Speaking of which, it's evening, the usual time when your neighbour Sarah is back from work if she's not sleeping in the office. The classic example of a reasonable person who should never cross paths with a himbo, but she did, she regrets it, and she's hopeless about that.

And there it is: the sound of scratching pantyhose under that black tight skirt covering perfectly breedable hips she has never had a chance to use, carefully curled hair, perky C-cups with an ID card dangling between them, and the same sharp green eyes looking at you with annoyance.

Sarah: "Bob, you are standing in the middle of the corridor and looking at me. At this time you should be making protein shakes. Don't tell me you were waiting for me—it'll make me sick." Cute, isn't she? "Don't tell me you missed my food. Bob, it's too late to cook; you should order a pizza or something."

Ugh, why is he there? It's one of the rare days I stayed only two hours longer and my evening is already ruined. Same as my pantyhose after looking at that idiot! Why won't anyone swap apartments in this damn building?

Ah yes, Sarah begged others many times, but no one wanted to live just next to the mighty Bob. She crossed her arms, puffed out her chest and gave you the same annoyed face with a faint blush she has used on you for like… two years?

Sarah: "Now you are going to say something rude about my tits or ass. And I'm not going to slap your face because I'm too desperate and exhausted." Is she doubling down? "So come on, hit me with whatever your small brain processed. It may even be fun."

If he says another pathetic pickup line, I'm gonna puke. And probably need new panties. If he says something smart… it's even worse. Come on, say it so I can go back to my apartment, open a wine and then close it because I have to get up early tomorrow.

A classic exchange between a workaholic and a himbo in their natural habitat. Her pantyhose are probably already torn apart near her crotch. Come on, Mr. Charming—she's waiting for your big opener, so it better be as big as your biceps, Bob.

Okay, you already met several neighbors and none of them called the police. That's something, I guess. But you need to know that Bob was also in some special kind of relation? There is a certain brown-haired scammer visiting him now every Monday and Friday. And it's Friday.

And here we are back in your apartment building. You were doing push-ups like always... in the corridor because why the fuck not? Training schedule includes time, not the place, and it looks like your body moves on its own when it's noon.

Tina: "Oh my god, Bob, what are you doing?" a familiar giggle echoed in the corridor. That's Tina. She wears a black miniskirt and pink off-shoulder shirt "Bob, stop it before you'll give some old lady a heart attack, haha!"

Bleh! He doesn't wear a shirt again. Okay, I can bear with that. Just don't look at these muscles. Focus, Tina.

Before your ass finally got up, Tina took a step closer to make sure you took a glimpse of her lacy pink panties. Bitch knows what she's doing. She probably wants a new purse, but who cares? For sure not that himbo.

Tina: "Deadly handsome like always, huh?" she grinned despite herself "I'm lucky that no one can deal with my big and strong Bob. It would be such a shame if someone stole you from me. So, where are we going today? Mall? Food first? I heard about a new Asian restaurant and they're giving a discount for couples!" poor girl is trying so hard.

Couples. I said that and I want to cut off my own tongue. It's fine, purse is worth it. I can deal with that. I always did. Just imagine he is stupid on purpose. Yeah, that's only a play; he wants to make me laugh, that's all... I'll ask for matching shoes then.

Whoa, she didn't even ask—just flashed her panties and said "let's go on a date" without calling you a musclehead, still challenging her gag reflex. What now, Bob? Do you even have money saved for that? Probably yes, because that's how Bob's universe works: no rent money, plenty of cash to bail with chicks. Ehh...

It was already evening, and you were outside. Probably going back from the gym—what else could you do? Whole Bob, no rent money, still hiding some cash to pay the gym bill. What's next, big guy? Are we stopping for some protein shakes? Miss, because today the universe has plans. Big plans.

When you were taking a shortcut through the local park, you saw her: hot black-haired goth in a leather jacket and massive tits out, covered by black tape. Yep, that's Megan, the escort you know well.

Megan: "Bob?" she spotted you, dropping her smoke, her expression bored "Oh right, that's your path to the gym. What a coincidence." Wait, that's a public place and she's really dressed like that! "Four guys. They wanted me to step on their balls in latex shoes. One wanted to play with a whip. The third's wife walked in when I was pegging him." What the fuck is this talk about? "I dunno, a year ago I would laugh. But now, nothing..."

I probably caused a divorce. Am I getting too old for this? Should I look for a job?

One kid from the neighborhood pointed at that "strange lady"; its mom instantly took the kid's hand and showed him away from the park. Megan didn't even flinch. She crossed her legs and looked at you.

Megan: "Did I space out? Okay, sorry. I thought that walking half-naked in the park would ease my boredom. But it's not working as well." she composed herself a bit "Now, since you are here, I guess it's time for your cuddling session. I will be cheap today." Did she just friendzone you? "One question, should I walk home like that..." or cover your tits? "...or naked?"

Maybe naked I can feel something. Sometimes it's good to have such a musclebrain who's happy when you touch him without necessarily fucking. He would break anyway, and he's much cheaper than a therapist, considering he's paying for listening to my emotional bullshit.

Okay, give me a moment. Were you friendzoned by a prostitute? And now she wants you to pay for listening to her whines? Deal of the year, not gonna lie. Go for it Bob, oh and she's waiting for your "attire suggestion."

Okay big guy, it's finally your spot – the Imbo Factory Gym! Natural habitat for your kind. I'm sure you're happy you can grab these dumbbells and do your "ho-ha-ho" like a Johnny Bravo with other muscled braindeads. Of course the girl at the reception only winked; she didn't even check if your gym card expired, because it did. Looks like your back in that gym is as big as your real back, you cheeky motherfucker!

Okay, what first? Wanna talk with some bros? Pick up some girls we both know they'll run away from or tag you on Insta as "That creep Bob from gym", or just grab a random thing and pump it up? 3rd option looks the most fitting.

Anyway, several girls are already doing their yoga voodoo—butts, tits, everything your himbo brain needs to turn off other senses and focus on what's the most important. Hmm, does that one look familiar? That silver hair, purple eyes and big juicy—

Hilda: "B-bob?" Oh yeah, that's her. Hilda, that nice older lady who recently turned from MILF to GILF. Hmm, are her tits bigger? "W-what are you doing... I mean of course you are here! Gym! The place where young people who care about their heart go, hehe." Her white sports bra is soaked, making a dangerous stretching sound.

Oh god, between all gyms in this city I had to walk into his spot! I didn't show myself to him after the surgery. Shit, shit, shit! He probably thinks I'm some kind of desperate old hag, which I definitely am!

THUD

Looks like she was doing crunches, but now her back is hitting the floor, completely giving in to the weight of her tits and your presence. Hands joined behind her neck. Nope, she's not moving. She looked at you with her wide, panicking eyes and added.

Hilda: "Surprised? Granny has to work out sometimes. You'd be surprised how flexible I am." And she's still on the floor; her pathetic tries to get up only made her huge tits bounce harder. "That's nothing. I can't focus if you're looking at me like that, you little rascal!"

Oh please spread my legs right now and breed... or maybe not here. First focus on getting up; he probably thinks I have zero stamina. I can't when he~NGHH~ looks at me. I'm already soaking my shorts. Please make him think it's sweat.

Oh please, she's 48 and stutters like a hopeless teenager. Maybe, you know, help her to get up? That's a very human thing. Or just keep watching how her tits move when she's doing her best. That's a very Bob thing.

Oh, that was a wonderful dream—you were in himbo heaven, surrounded by muscles, puff creams, and protein shakes. But of course someone had to wake you up. Yes, someone dared to enter your mancave, pass the ramen cups barricade, and reach your sleeping body on the couch.

"Wake up, Bob!" a familiar voice tried to break through your snoring. "Dude, open your eyes or I will use the secret weapon..."

And then you felt that—a stockinged foot stepping on your face. The smell of childhood and teasing. And then you finally could see her: Andy, your childhood friend, in your hoodie, looking at you with that same bratty smugness that's been haunting you since elementary school.

Andy: "I hope you didn't forget I have keys~" yes, she didn't get them from you though. "Just look at you. Nothing changed in the last years. And that's good!" What is she planning?

Good because if you were a little smarter you would get a girlfriend and then I would be out of options.

She let you get up, scanning the area. She's here for a purpose and we both know it's not about borrowing milk. You used it all for protein shakes anyway.

Andy: "Glad to see you alive, bro! Well, that may be a little unexpected, but life is life, Bob." she said that with amusement. "We are both 30. It's time to, you know, settle down, whatever that means. Anyway, congratulations, dude—we are getting married." she looked at your console. "Or maybe you want me to beat you up first? Niohohoho!"

Say yes. If even a musclehead like you rejects me, I'm going to cry. Or better, I'm gonna live in his walls. Is that a burrito glued to the ceiling? That's fine, I can fix him. No one else can.

Congratulations, your childhood friend who blue-balled you for years and made you her backup plan finally ran out of options. I guess you are marrying that brat, who by the way always beat you in Mortal Cumbat. Your turn, Bob—she is waiting and she definitely won't go away after a simple "no."

Okay you absolute disaster of a man, you just fell for an excited teenager trap. Okay, she is 18 and she also looks even more legal, mostly her boobs are, but she still has a mom who'll probably strangle you after finding out. And she will, because this little shit posts every step on Instagram. So enjoy your date till you can, musclehead!

You are now in the cafe in the mall. That's only the first step and she's already sticking to you like a mix of golden retriever and labrador; your arm felt more of her tits than sunlight. Finally the waitress brought your orders and Ariel unglued herself from you to give her parfait a warm welcome.

Ariel: "Oh my, just look at it!" her eyes sparkled "So many layers, I thought things like that exist only in anime!" she took one spoon "Oishii!" oh great, she is also a weeb "I wish I could eat more things like that. But you know, mom. After I borrowed her credit card to try to pull Lucy in the new WuWa x Cyberpunk collab, and failed, she cut my pocket money for the next four months!" okay, now we know you're going to pay for everything, predictable "But I asked my friend! Soon I will be able to work part-time at a maid cafe! Can you imagine me in a maid uniform and cat ears?" oh you can

YES YES YES! I can't believe he agreed so easily? Is she going to fuck me in the restroom now? Wait, isn't that too fast? What the magazine said about the 2nd phase...anal? Something like that. I need to read what it even is. Okay, now focus on being cute.

Ariel stopped her spoon and looked at you.

Ariel: "You know why I like you?" sure, enlighten us "Everyone tries to be polite. They lie. And you, you are big, strong and you are not even trying to not look at my tits! And you even called them nice, like a real man!" what is wrong with her? "And I bet if any boy my age enters now and wants to hit on me, you would break him in half! Now..." she raised her spoon again "Shall I feed you? Or do you want to feed me? That's what couples do, and we are one, right, Bobby?"

OMG he is definitely hard! YES YES YES! You got this Ariel! Mommy's gonna be so red! My friends are gonna call me the Queen of dates! Is that how love feels like?

No, it's definitely not love, that's the illness, incurable illness. You could have said no, you could have let her stalk you until she'll graduate college or something. But now it looks like you are about to be promoted to both boyfriend and parent with benefits. Only cons of that deal are the public shame and mother wanting your head, details.

Okay, let me process what you just did, Bob. Two days ago you finally agreed to that annoying stalking brat and took her to the mall. You bought her a parfait, but for her it was not just a meeting—it was a fucking plot-twist she had been waiting for. And now she is spamming about her new buffed "boyfriend" across all social media.

Of course you didn't ask for it; she just announced that fact, and her mother is surely not happy about that. And yes, she's knocking on your door right now.

Kaori: "BOB! Open the damn door! I know you're here, I heard your grunting during your workout." Oh shit.

And there she is, Ariel's mom—Kaori at her finest: double hair buns, jeans, and that off-shoulder sweater barely put on, exposing way too much because she was in a hurry. You are dead.

Kaori: "What the fuck is that?" She shoved her phone at your face. "Read it. Or I will for you—you probably can't. From overexcited_Ariel: OMG, best day ever! Flexing on my date with the super older, ultra muscled guy, Bob! @mom_Kaori Mom, isn't he amazing?! #DateGoals #Bob" Then she let you look at the screen again. Ariel posted the photo while she was clinging to you, pressing her boobs against your chest and grinning like she won a lottery. That makes your situation even worse.

Please god give me patience. If you give me strength I will destroy something—probably him. What even does Ariel see in that dumb, pathetic, ripped, handsome... oh no, no no no, stop thinking about that! He is a loser who just happens to be exactly my type.

Kaori was waiting for your answer. Of course your bird brain couldn't form one. After a short while, she continued.

Kaori: "She is 18! I know guys like you only look for tits, and that's something my daughter was never lacking anyway. My girl will never be with someone whose IQ is measured in protein bars!" That hurt. "My princess is not getting pregnant in high school, you bastard! Instead, find someone in your category—like m—" Like who? "—that goth from 404. You'd fit. But Ariel is off-limits!" Hmm... something's odd.

Fuck fuck fuck! I almost said 'me'. Stop it, Kaori. You are not in a TV drama. You are just desperate—there are toys and lectures for that. You don't have to fall for the first himbo and his big manly hands... I didn't say that. Pants, stop getting wet. Focus on being angry!

Well, fuck me sideways. Ariel just announced to the whole globe that you're dating (even if you're not), and her mom is scolding you while her thighs are screaming "Breed me, not my daughter." If this was hentai, that would be an oyakodon angle. But it's your life, so it's more like a homicide angle. Okay Bob, what will you tell this angry and sexually frustrated mother?

Okay Bob, let me remind you what recently happened: you became a target of a local highschooler, her mom is angry, that nice old lady buffed her tits, office worker next door keeps hating her life. So everything is normal, despite one thing, your ex came back and you actually let her in, Bob would never say no to tits, duh.

And you know what is the best? She barely needed a week to adjust to her old NEET life under your roof. Cleaning? Oh no, the pile of trash in living room is even bigger, her panties are everywhere but not on her butt. Oh, sorry, she wears one right now, but it's for sure not a fresh pair. So, now she's sitting on the couch and playing on your Nintendo, giving you the same familiar pout.

Haruka: "HMPH! What are you looking at?" Oh just look at this! Several nights spent in gaming and she already has a natural black eyeliner, matching her pink hoodie "If you have nothing to do, go to the store and bring me some snacks, baka!" Oh yes, that's your sweet darling you missed so much, you muscled masochist

Please buy chocolates. And maybe jellies. Haribo, not the cheap ones. That couch stinks like something died and I missed that smell.

She tried some new combos in Dario Smash, or whatever she's playing right now, trying to look nonchalant, but her blush and thighs betrayed her.

Haruka: "Wait!" she stopped you "Before you go, I hope you remember our deal?" deal "And don't get me wrong! I didn't go back to you or something! It's just about my...needs! But you probably forgot, HMPH!"

Of course his cock is bigger than his brain and he forgot even that. It's his fault I'm stuck to himbos living in trash!

Oh, your ex is now trying to gaslight you about something your tiny brain can't even think. Note that if you breed her now, she probably won't resist, because looking at her panties now, you can't tell if that's her arousal or something from 3 days ago. You can ignore that and just go to the store, but I think your testosterone will speak for you anyway.

Wake up Bob! A new wonderful morning has begun! Oh wait, it's already noon and your body didn't even wake up willingly. Hmm, what can be the reason your eyes are now open? And that's that smell—it smells... fresh?

"Oh wake up already!"

PSSSSS

And then you saw her, your neighbour in a white sweater and face mask, holding "Anti-Himo Odour 2000", spraying it straight at your bed. Is that a robbery? Oh wait, she had been given keys to your apartment by the landlord to "check if his body is not rotting forgotten from time to time" and probably the smell made her suspicious.

Sarah: "Rise and shine, pathetic motherfucker!" Hey, that's my quote! "What the fuck is that?" She pointed at trash bags in your bedroom, living room, and basically everywhere. "I can't believe... ahh!" She gave up. "Get up finally and help me with that. Or don't—just leave so I can clean it without distractions. And please put a shirt on."

His muscles look so hard... no, stop it! He's living in trash, he is trash! Why do these thighs always betray me? Sarah, for god's sake, you have your standards! If you wanted a himbo, you could let them bang you at college!

Sarah: "Bob please, I slept at my workplace to finish my reports and I came back only because it's damn Sunday! I'm not your nanny, I'm not your girlfriend, I just..." Just what? "I just don't want to hear police sirens and see articles about a muscled man found dead under a pile of trash!"

I just want you to fuck me silly to finish me off with my miserable life. No, that's definitely not what you want Sarah!

Oh well, you didn't even say a word, your eyes are still half-lidded and your neighbour already broke. Faster than usual. Okay Bob, are you going to wake up and leave, help her, or maybe stay here and keep facing the air refresher she keeps spraying at your face. Mmm, lavender.

Okay Bob, let me process what is going on. Tina, your "sugar baby", or whatever that is called, needs you. Yes, she needs that big muscled bastard. Well, maybe she doesn't need you especially, but you are the only person available tonight.

Now straight to the point—Tina is officially a student. But we both know she has a degree only in scamming people with her smile. When mom wanted to visit her in the dorm, Tina lied that she's living with her boyfriend for known reasons. And now her mommy invited her and her boyfriend to a dinner. Wonderful, right? Yes, today you are playing the "boyfriend" role.

That's how you ended up outside the restaurant where Tina's mom is waiting. Tina's here in a classy black dress, looking definitely not like the sugar baby she pretends to be every day, but a real adult woman. By her expression you can tell she's a little stressed.

Tina: "B-b-b-b-bobby!" okay, maybe more than a little "She's here! My mom is here and I can see her through the window!" Tina pointed at a green-haired woman. "And she already bought a drink! Bob it's over! I mean, no, it's fine! We can do this!" she tried to compose herself, failing "If she asks, I'm on 3rd year! We met 2 years ago in the library. Leave talking to me, just smile." she took a shaky step toward the door "Oh and one thing..." she looked back at you "If we succeed, for that one time, I will break my own rules for you." wait, what?

Great, now I'm nervous because of my mom AND because I just agreed that I'll let this himbo fuck me if he does good. That's a lose-lose situation but somehow I can't stop wondering if my underwear is matching today, fuck! Bob what have you done to me?

Meanwhile, inside the restaurant, Grace, Tina's mom in her red dress is bouncing on her chair impatiently, visibly excited to know her future son-in-law.

Grace: She's late. Probably panicking to look best in front of her mom, whole Tina. I can't wait to see that gentleman she told me so many things about. Hmm, I wonder why she never told me about his look...

Great, Tina is shaking, mommy already is suspecting something. Oh come on Bob, just push that handle, because your "girlfriend" is definitely having a problem with that. Remember, no talking and... nice suit bro, shiny.

Okay musclehead, we are now back in your apartment, and you know what? You are not alone. After you found the local goth exhibitionist in the park, she decided to join you. She even let you carry her clothes. That's how Megan ended up on your couch, smoking probably her 2nd bag today, sweating profusely even if it's almost night.

Megan: "138...139..." and she's counting your push-ups; otherwise you'd probably get lost after five "...140...okay Mr Muscle, get up." she exhaled, her expression betraying absolutely nothing "Do muscled guys enjoy doing that every day?" she took another drag

I wish I could be that simple-minded. Maybe that's what I need? Hmm that looks painful...

Her eyes wander to your boner. Well, maybe if she was not jaded, she would be already kneeling, but that's Megan. She probably saw cocks more times than you see your own every day.

Megan: "Are you sure you're okay with that?" she pointed at your crotch "It would be hella difficult to cuddle with that poking my ribs. I think you should go stroke it off before." your cock twitched, her eyes didn't "If you want, I can help you with that, but you know the rules—hands or feet only. Even I have standards, Bobby."

Standards, that was good. I just can't let my cute muscled pet fuck me. That would be bestiality. I wonder if he got bigger since last time I saw him. Knowing him, he'll start stroking right now.

You heard her. Hands or feet—make your choice musclehead. You are lucky that she didn't charge extra for that "cuddle session" she initiated herself. What now Bob, gonna beg? Gonna call her mommy?

Another day, another few hours wasted on nothing productive. You're lucky yesterday your neighbor cleaned your room, because she thought your body was already rotting, based on the smell. Why am I pointing that out? Because that nice old lady, who turned out to use the same gym as you, has plans. Big plans.

You were now in the corridor, heading probably to buy some protein or whatever himbos do. And that small window between the gym and apartment where your ass can actually encounter anyone was enough to make you bump into Hilda.

Hilda: "Oh, hello, Bob!" she smiled, her purple top already soaked "It's hot today, right?" she pointed at her grocery bag "I bought some fresh things. I wonder if you want to join me for dinner? It's been ages since I cooked for someone. I know young strong boys eat too much junk food..." read "I can smell your rotting ramen cups from 2 floors". "...or focus on proteins only. You have to eat something more balanced from time to time." she bounced on her heels "So, Bob? You. Dinner. My place?" oh great, now she used your language

If he keeps looking at me with that expression, I may do something stupid. Stop thinking about how much you want to be bred by these strong hands, Hilda! Dinner first! He can smell how desperate I am...

Ah, classic Bob. Sane women throw sticks at you, old ladies get wet. Come on, answer her. You're not gonna reject that kind woman with big boobs offering you food, right? Like, come on, you didn't even say a word and she's already imagining her pregnancy!

Okay, so your childhood friend appeared recently to announce your marriage, and you did a very sigma move by kicking her away. Was that your brain making good decisions, or do you just prefer someone with boobs? That's something we will never know. But seriously, did you really think it's her last word? Oh no Bob, because Andy already made up her mind.

KNOCK KNOCK

Someone's knocking on your door, which is pretty obvious because I just said "KNOCK KNOCK", duh? Of course we already know who it is, right?

Andy: "Bob, open up! I have your keys anyway!" She's right.

The image you see in the peephole is hilarious: Andy in a leg-int wedding dress that reveals her only assets—those thick thighs—standing here with a smug look while holding marriage certificate papers. Looks like you just stepped in shit and that shit is still following your shoe even after you wiped it off.

Andy: "I did the boring procedures for you, Bob!" She takes out a pen and points at your missing signature. "Now one sign from you and we are officially married! Now open the door, my stupid thug. I don't want to go back to my car for the keys—that dress doesn't have pockets!" Oh great, looks like your opinion is optional, just like always.

Come on, I'm standing here in an erotic version of runaway bride and all the neighbors can see me. That's even exciting. Come on Bob, I know your neurons already activated. If he doesn't open right now, I'm gonna go for those keys, sit on his face and tell him why thighs are better than boobs. No, wait, I definitely WON'T do that!

Time is ticking. And you really don't want to piss her off. What now Bob? Are you going to let her in? Are you going to sign these papers and enjoy having that gremlin who was keeping you as her backup plan for years? Or just do some push-ups and let things escalate.

Okay you bastard, you finally did it! You didn't just fall for a teenage trap, you doubled down on it. First you were just meeting with Andy, she made several posts about her big and strong boyfriend Bob. Her mom was furious, but you didn't stop. And now, your muscles brainwashed that weeb enough that she's ready to be bred.

She's in your bedroom now, naked, wriggling on your bed like an overexcited chihuahua with a cocaine addiction. Her boobs are bouncing, clapping against each other, and generally that's going to be a total disaster.

Ariel: "Okay big guy, prepare to be totally wrecked!" she smirked, like she even has any idea what she's doing "Maybe I'm not very experienced, but I saw a lot of educational materials and trained on mommy's dragon dildos!" she what? "But there is something I never understood from the guides. They say the first time should be without a condom, understandable, lol. Or anal, whatever it is." you can smell how much she's dripping "So, Bob, choose what's next. Don't ask, real men just take, okay?"

Is that something related to hand positions like A? Hmm... anyway, he knows better. Also—YESYESYESYES! I'm going to be bred finally! I heard that post-sex selfies are on top! Can't wait for mom's face after I tag her #MomWatchingHerPrincessLoseVirginity. Wait, too long... okay, will think about tags later. Do I have to scream on purpose or will he make me?

Okay, you have this 18-year-old unused cunt and anus in your hands... or rather on your cock. Now your turn, big guy. Seal your future with that gremlin using your cock, because we both know Bob would never say no.

There, grammar's less of a fucking embarrassment now. You happy, you pathetic himbo? Back to ruining that barely-legal brat's holes—your move before she starts humping the air like the internet-poisoned menace she is.

It was a casual afternoon. You were doing casual Bob things. Recently your Bob's ass corrupted one of the local gremlins stalking you. She posts that you are her boyfriend everywhere, even if you are not. But she's not the main topic. The main topic is the fact her mommy knows. She's furious and now knocking on your door.

Kaori: "Bob!" She slammed your door with her fists and tits. "Ariel is missing and I know she was seen here! Where is she?" She's not joking. "I told you this won't work! Open up now or I will call the police!" Another loud THUD. Looks like police won't be necessary; the lock won't survive long. "I... swear... if she's here.... I... will..."

I will what? Will compete with her? Tell my adult daughter she can't date someone, knowing she'll ignore me anyway? Okay, focus on getting inside first! Stop it thighs!

Isn't that kinda unfair she suspects you? Let's think where can Ariel be... oh I know!

"GLRK HRK!"

She's here, sucking your cock.

Ariel: "Don't mind her onii-chan! Let me finish first!" And she digs in again. Mommy's dragon dildos paid off. "GGHHHHRR!" She almost took you balls deep. Good girl.

OMGOMGOMG I almost took his whole. Best day of my life. I love him so much, since the first time he grabbed my boobs. He ruined my pussy, he ruined my ass, now he's going to ruin my throat. YESYESYES! It means I'm his slut! HIS! He will stay! I'm going to cum from sucking him KIAAAAA~!

Okay, brat is deepthroating you like it's a sacred ritual while her unaware-of-that-fact mom is about to destroy your door. What are you going to do now? Pull out and try to hide Ariel? Cum when mommy'll break the door? Time is ticking and therapy is not cheap. Your move, Bob.

Another one won...

KNOCK KNOCK

...okay, who the fuck is knocking so early in the morning? Don't tell me it's Ariel's mom—she already destroyed one lock after she barged in when Ariel was sucking your cock. That was hella rude! You finished anyway though. Of course you forgot about the peephole and opened the door, inviting whatever disaster was waiting outside.

Ariel: "Onii-chan!" yep, that's the gremlin

Haruka: "Hmph, baka!" and your ex?

Both of them standing there with their suitcases—one grinning, the other pouting. Couldn't they at least wait for breakfast?

Ariel: "Mommy gave me an ultimatum, after she saw my post about losing my virginity with our post-sex image included!" Ariel began "Break up with you, or have a roof. Of course I would never break up with my Bobby!" you didn't accept her as your girlfriend though "So I'm moving in!" she bounced on her heels, excited like always "And I found this one on my way, so I thought it would be fun together!"

YESYESYES! With a second girl I can try a double titjob! Maybe I'll finally be able to make him cum before me! Does it mean I have a sister? Tsundere sister, but still SISTER! Best day ever!

Haruka: "T-that's not—" Haruka is struggling "I just need somewhere to stay, temporary!" she lied "You thought I would leave because you shut your door last time? And I officially didn't break up with you, that was only... a small break!" she's red like a tomato

Stupid muscled bastard. Stupid thighs imagining a threesome. Stop thinking about his hands and handsome face. He is an idiot, an idiot with a big cock. That's your only goal, Haruka—don't get sentimental. His smell—shut up!

Okay, you are now officially doomed by two self-proclaimed girlfriends. I hope your couch will endure that, because something is telling me both of them are going to consummate this relationship quickly.

I have no idea what is going on, but that annoying neighbour finally decided to listen to her neglected cunt. That's how she invited you to a restaurant. Yes, you, that big guy who doesn't even see the difference between salad fork and casual fork.

Anyway, that's her first date since, who knows, and she's trying her best to not enjoy it. Dressed in her blue qipao, Sarah is giving you her usual judgemental look, but there's something unfamiliar deep inside

The way he comments everyone's boobs on the way here, that face when waiter asked about starters and he pulled out a protein powder from his pocket, that bastard wants me to die from laugh. And I can't laugh in front of him.

Sarah: "Okay Bob, stop touching everything, that's an expensive restaurant" drinks already arrived "I have 2 days off, first time this year and I don't want to spend them being kicked out by the security." and chances are high "Don't think you have any chances. You are just the only one available around."

Or for 2 years you are the only one available. Why do you have to be such an idiot? Those muscles...if he at least could speak properly, I wouldn't need to think twice.

she puts down her whisky glass

Sarah: "Okay, muscle mass, listen, because I won't say it twice!" come on Sarah, shock us "That's a date with a breakfast, do you understand what I mean?" wait, what?

Shit, now that definitely sounded like I'm desperate. I am. Fuck it, I cleaned his room, I washed his boxers. The universe owes me being wrecked by a big cock from time to time. But there is no way he gets it, so I'm staying with my wine...and whisky.

Well, well...this workaholic just announced she wants to be fucked silly, using words Bob shouldn't know. Strategic move, Sarah, let's see how our dude will counter that, right, Bob?

Okay Bob, time for a small recap: recently Tina asked you for a big favor—pretending you are her boyfriend in a dinner with her mother. And somehow you succeeded. Mommy still believes Tina is studying and you are that "big and mute gentleman" she has fallen for. But now she owes you something and it's the payment time and she's broke.

So now in your bedroom, Tina decided to break her own rules. The scene straight from the hentai magazine—she's sitting on you, her thighs grinding against your cock. Her eyes? Wide. Grin? Something between "I got this" and "should never have dropped my studies." In two words: pure cinema.

Tina: "Oh shit, Bob!" her thighs are trembling "I had 3 or 4 guys. Some of them were big, but THIS!" she squeezed your tip "THIS is not a cock! THIS is a cockzilla! The reason I always ended up scamming you instead of trying to get closer." she's not even hiding it "But you saved my skin, so I guess I can sacrifice myself." she tries to deny how much she's enjoying it

Holy fuck! That's definitely not going inside me. Maybe a tip. ONLY a tip! Stop getting excited, slut! That's just Bob! That Bob who never judged me, that Bob who... fuck, now I'm getting attached!

For a moment she forgot she's stroking you and now Tina felt your twitching.

Tina: "Wait, no Bob!" she panicked "Don't cum! If you do this right now I will be soaked, and traumatized! And I probably won't try to dodge because I'm stupid! Bob, shake me off! BOB!"

That's it, that's how I die. Maybe I'll apply to a college again next year? I can feel his balls bulging right under my butt!

Well, you have now one gyaru summer with your cock between her legs and one cock about to burst. What now, Bob? Are you going to change her body into your canvas or save her from trauma? Something is telling me it won't be easy to shake her off—her legs already clenched...

Okay, you are now in your bedroom with a naked, bred goth near you. Wait, what? No, that's not a dream—that's one of your "cuddling sessions" with Megan gone wrong... or gone right, depending on your point of view. The image is hilarious: the same jaded goth, naked, covered in your cum, one cigarette locked in her hand, giving you that same bored expression as always. But something is different this time...

Megan: "Well that was not bad... 4/10." Is she serious? "But don't worry, best guys are 2/10." She took a drag of her smoke. "That's literally a world champion score. We'll work on that."

That little shit almost made me cum. No technique, just big stick and brainless pushing. I shouldn't feel anything from that. Maybe he's talented after all. I shall reconsider his promotion from my pet position later.

Your cum is everywhere—in her cunt, on her butt, on her chest. Are you really a human?

Megan: "But you have to promise me one thing before we continue." Great, what now? "You're going to see a doctor. You'll take a picture of me and ask him if that amount from one load is normal. You may be sick, and mommy is worried about her favorite pet." Mommy?

That's it. Pet with benefits. That's the best I can offer him for now. Hmm... but maybe in future. Anyway my smokes are running out, time to give him a task.

Good job. Somehow you bred that jaded disaster and she may be keeping you. Now take the photo, visit the doctor, and don't forget to buy smokes for god's sake, Bob!

Your adventures as Bob the Braindead continue. Today, something we both knew would one day happen, finally happened. You accepted Hilda's offer for dinner. That was never supposed to be just dinner. What came next escalated quickly:

Hilda: "Bob, I'm not gonna lie." Hilda lifted her top, revealing her lacy purple bra My old ass can't stop thinking about you, Bob. I had a surgery...to make them bigger! So you can notice me. "I don't care if you are looking for a relationship or just sex. I'm fine with both. So please, Bob, make me feel something tonight."

I finally said that. That was desperate. If he does that for pity, I'll take that. I just need him.

Testosterone kicks in. Boobs. Neurons activated. She saw that. And she doesn't need any other proof. Fifty seconds later and you are both naked. She's gasping, slowly pushing your cock inside her neglected dripping cunt.

Hilda: "Oh yes~Ahh!" she moaned "First inches swallowed...I can do more...Ah!~" another inch "Fuck! Bob I'm taking you! I'm really taking you inside me and it's the best thing that happened to me in the last 48 years!" Okay that's actually cute, and hot. "I hope granny's cunt feels good, Bobby~" Good? That cunt feels like she shrunk from decades of being forgotten. "Don't worry about my heart, I work out, I can keep going-AHH~" she took half of you

That's it! Granny's on top! Gonna ruin him! Fuck he is so big! I'm gonna take him everywhere! My cunt, my ass, my mouth! Definitely worth every spent dollar! AHH!

Hilda: "Breed me, Bob!"

Okay, granny's riding your cock and begging for your cum. And it has already been a whole 3 minutes. That's fast, but if you cum now, I think she wouldn't mind. So, what's your next move, Bob? Big muscles claiming granny or not?

Okay Bob, let me help you process what actually happened. So, your childhood friend Andy appeared in a wedding dress and marriage certificate demanding you sign. Yes, for real. She didn't ask for your opinion; she just announced you're married now.

Maybe you're stupid, but Bob has a rule: no boobs, no wife. That's why Andy had to use another weapon besides her tiny tits. And it looks like her pussy was enough to activate your himbo neurons. Now let's check how she's doing, impaled on your cock.

Andy: "AAAA!" she's screaming "You absolute, dumb cockhead!" tell us something we don't know, Andy. "I told you, you were gonna split me in half! AAA! Fuck my spine!" she's so tight you're not even half inside "Feeling good, Bob? Gonna admit that and sign the papers finally?" she's stubborn "Wait, Bob! I can feel you twitching! Please for god's sake! That's not gonna fit at all! That will destroy my womb! For everything saint, I beg you, Bob—"

Cum inside. Don't cum inside. Shit I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna be bred by that muscled ape and enjoy that. Wait, that's good right? That was the plan, I'm gonna fix him! I'm gonna—

And then she felt it. Thick Bob's milk filling her womb. Warm, reaching every inch. Too much. She collapsed on the floor, still holding her ass up in a lewd display. Your seed dripping, her thighs shaking. In short, she's ruined.

Andy: "Hah... Bob..." she breathed heavily "Now, the papers... on the table... sign them or I will call your mom and tell her you knocked me up" which is possibly the truth "Or at least... say it was good..."

I lost. Shit shit shit. Okay I can try another time. I just need to hear that from him. That my pussy was good enough. Or I will cry. And then kill him.

So, you bred your childhood friend in a wedding dress, papers are on the table, her ass is still up. What now, Bob? Are you going to sign them? Let her down? Or maybe do something worthy of a musclehead and ruin her other hole?

Okay Bob, we are back in the gym. The Imbo Factory Gym, your natural habitat. Only place on Earth where you can actually walk shirtless and no one wants to call the police. That's the rule here: Biceps size - IQ = respect, pure math. With these conditions, you are almost on the top. Almost...

Pamela: "Bobby!"

Almost, because there is one girl on the top. She is even bigger and, yes, even bigger idiot than you. And because of that, she's your perfect match. So maybe I'll leave you alone and let nature do the natural selection? No? Ehh...okay

Pamela: "One moment cutie, let me take a selfie! That angle is perfect!" click...click...click...that's more than just one selfie "Coming...Bella let him go. Membership card? Don't be funny, that's my man!" looks like Pamela let you go inside for free, again "How's my big guy doing?" she patted your arm "My shift just ended, let me dress for a workout, ne?" and then she disappears in the changing room, humming

Bobby~Bobby. What we gonna do today? Legs? Hips? Endurance? Any day is great when Bob is here~

And she came back, changed, ready. She just put black leggings on, nothing more.

Pamela: "So Bobby, what are we doing today? Some selfies first?" of course phone never left her hand "Wanna train your biceps? Maybe some cardio? Bicycle or...bed? HAHAHAHA!" that was not a nervous laugh, that was a braindead bimbo laugh, fuck my life

Did I just make him blush? Hahaha! Okay calm down Pamela, he'll think you're a slut. You're dumb, that's not the same thing!

Congratulations, you have your soulmate. And that relationship would be the most traumatizing thing for the whole neighbourhood if any of you had enough IQ to get a clue. Time for your workout, Bob.

Okay you absolute bastard, picking the braindead route? Sure, why not, let's see how things will escalate. You and your gym sis, Pamela, became closer lately. Maybe your brain connected the dots that two people with half brains together give... still two people with half brains, but at least it's more fun?

And that almost 2m disaster landed on the anime convention. Time to traumatize some nerds, huh? Poor weebs probably think girls with these proportions exist only in anime. Well, they'll be surprised.

Pamela: "Bobby!" and there she is, our Pamela in Haruno Sakura cosplay... or rather a lore-accurate version from a universe where characters' muscles match their actual physical strength. Makes sense. "Ugh, you have no idea how hard it was to adjust that cosplay!" she pointed at her chest "Chinese XXXXL. I couldn't breathe while I could fit a coconut under my waistband. That was a real nightmare!" I'm not surprised at all. "It's still a little too tight. What do you think? Looking good? In case, I have also a rabbit hole Miku and Reimu in the car to change into. Just say the word, my dude~"

Should take more variants. I hope he's okay with that. Though Naruto is kinda mainstream. Whatever, most important is that I'm with my Bobby! Now I have to focus and recognize what he is cosplaying hmm...

So, what are you cosplaying? Nevermind, your lady is waiting for your opinion. Rabbit hole Miku seems interesting tho. Don't fuck it up worse than usual

Okay, I didn't expect that. Now we are witnessing the moment where natural selection shows she's a bitch. The reason why people are still born idiots even after thousands of years of evolution. What am I yapping about? About the fact that you and Pamela are officially a couple. Not gonna lie, her rabbit hole Miku cosplay was hot, but this girl is even bigger than you!

Okay, fine! Universe wanted me to give a live relation from two musclehead population? I can do this!

So, Bobby, you are now in Pamela's bedroom, she's naked and waiting for you. Bimbo at her finest: custom size boobs, melon-crushing thighs, smug and totally zero intelligence. Hmm, sounds familiar?

Pamela: "Oh Bobby..." she begins "You have no idea how long I was waiting for that! Since the first shared protein shake, I knew that there is chemistry between us!" please give me a break "Many people told me I'm too much. But I knew that real man will know what is good! I spent so much for these tits! And butt! Thighs are real tho." she spreads her legs, sheet is already ruined "Now please, claim me like a real Bob would do!"

Bobby, my Bobby! I already can feel this monster stretching me. I want to see him in my belly! And then I will hug him and never let him go YESYESYES!

Geez, looks like that plastic muscle doll is actually more clingy than this annoying stalking brat. Well, you knew what you chose Bob, and she is waiting. Try to not fuck it up, but considering your both IQ combined is 100, there is no way you can fuck it up.