Look at you, having a nice afternoon on your ranch. No parents, no annoying neighbors, only you and the animals. Who would guess that your peace would suddenly shatter into pieces? Well, at least you got a warning message from your lil sis: "Onii-chan! I'm coming home this Friday :3". Yes, it's Friday and that gyaru witch is probably flying here on her broom... if she could.

And then you heard it—something moving in the sunflower field. Yep, it's her. Alyssa, the ultimate tanned menace of your childhood and now your adulthood. Good luck, bro.

Alyssa: "Ugh, I can't feel my le... Onii-chaaaan!" Alyssa quickly forgot about her exhaustion and launched herself toward you. "Did you miss me?" She jumped over the fence and stopped right in front of you. "Alyssa Marthines, witch extraordinaire, checks in on bro's ranch!"

I almost forgot how difficult it is to get here. Should get a driving license. Who could expect that flying lessons are second-year material?

So there she is: jean shorts, white shirt exposing her belly, way too many hairpins and other gyaru shit, plus of course that big purple witch hat so you don't have to ask where she came from. And that smug shout of "I wanna show you my spell" was already a very bad sign.

Alyssa: "I'll tell you one thing: they lied in Harry Potter." she declared. "Real magic is way too boring. Much worse than math." That explains why she barely passed. "If Avada Kedavra existed, the incantation time would be so long they would call the police before Voldemort even raised his wand. But!" she raised her hands. "Even if I can't kill people with one touch, I can do something much more useful for my big bro! Wanna see?" No, please don't... she's not gonna listen anyway, right? "Peeling countless small potatoes is always annoying. Don't worry, I will make them grow big and ready to harvest this evening!" That can't end well...

It worked with flowers, so it should work with crops. I'll just need more runes to reach the whole field. A lot more.

Oh come on! Are you really going to just stand here and watch her burn down your ranch? Wait, wasn't it daytime a second ago?

Alyssa: "Or... I will just cast it on the whole ranch!" I knew it! She's summoning Satan! Clouds darkened the sky, a crimson moon appeared—your sis is about to commit a felony! "Don't worry! Clouds like to gather because of the field created by magic particles. They'll be gone after." she said that like she knows what she's doing. "Okay bro, prepare for the coolest spell on this side of Minnesota! ME, ALYSSA THE GREATEST! CALLING THE SPIRITS OF EARTH TO BLESS THIS NOT-YET-BLESSED EARTH WITH THE BOUNTIES OF A HUNDRED SUNS! WITH THE POWER OF SEVEN WARDS, I COMMAND YOU MERE CROPS—RISE!" Something is definitely happening!

Wait, seven? I only put six? I count as the seventh, right? Not good...

And then, exactly as expected, everything went wrong. The magic circle she was standing on shattered, sending seven flares randomly across the ranch. Well, at least the sky is blue again and nothing is burning. For now.

Alyssa: "Well... I have to practice more, tehehe!" Oh really? Now she's playing innocent? "Anyway, let's finally go inside. I missed you so much! Can't wait to pet..." Something fell off the roof. "...Misty?"

Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me...

Misty: "Pet yourself, bitch!" ...that was your cat. Or rather, the catgirl who just fell off the roof and sat near the entrance like nothing happened. "Look what you did to me!" Misty pointed at her chubby belly. "Where is the fur that covered it? Now everyone can see how you fattened me up!" She sounds annoyed, but...

Alyssa's back. Don't purr, don't you fucking dare purr, Misty! It's their fault I'm so fat and clumsy—be angry!

Alyssa: "Misty?" No shit, Sherlock. "OH MY GOD! You are so cu—wait." She connected the dots. "So that means my spell worked—though instead of growing crops it made the animals 'grow' into humans." She said that part like she was proud of it. "See, onii-chan? I can use magic!"

Please don't ask about the flares. Because that means there are six more somewhere.

And then the two of you could hear the sound of someone breathing rapidly, followed by the front door being flung open.

Maple: "MASTER!"

Yes, that's Maple, your dog. She's wearing your pants—what a surprise.

Maple: "Master is back!" She reacted like you hadn't been home ten minutes ago. Typical. "I was keeping the house safe while you were gone!" Maple dropped to her knees in front of you, tail thumping the ground so hard it sounded like a drum. "Did I do a good job? Am I a good girl? Can we play fetch? Or go for a walk?" Of course you have a golden retriever.

He is here! I missed him so much! I panicked when he was gone for so many hours. Wait—it's her... that bitch is way too close to him. Does she want to attack my master?

Misty: "HSSSSS!" Misty hissed and vanished somewhere.

Okay, so your pets transformed. What's next?

Pecky: "AAAA! You call that a sunrise?! Give me the real one!"

Okay, now you are fucked.

Pecky: "What are you looking at?" Looks like that one annoying chicken who thought she was a rooster also got hit by the spell. "Mind your own business! Never seen a harpy before?" she yelled at you. "By the way, your grain is shit! Buy something better. I'm out of here!" Pecky started flapping her wings. "Maybe later. I still haven't learned how to fly yet."

Stupid wings! I'll show them! One day I'll look down at all of them from above!

Alyssa: "Pecky? But you're a chicken! Chickens don't..."

Pecky: "ROOSTER!" Pecky yelled even louder. "And now, because of you, I am a harpy! Oh, and since you did your little abracadabra, couldn't you at least give me knuckles? Or any fingers? How am I supposed to function with these?!"

That fascinating exchange was interrupted by the sound of something heavy hitting the floor inside the barn.

Alyssa: "Oh no! Looks like Powder is still having balance problems! Let's go help her up again, bro!" Alyssa pointed at the barn. "Come on!" She grabbed your arm and dragged you along, leaving the other "animals" behind the fence.

Please let it just be a standard fall. I don't even want to think if... oh my god...

Powder: "Are these my babies?"

Despite what you might expect, your cow doesn't have udders anymore. But she has boobs. Four of them, each the size of—no, actually bigger than watermelons. A lot bigger.

Powder: "My dears, would you be so kind and help me?" She pointed at her massive tits currently squished against the floor. "I think I can't get up. They're too heavy. I need to be milked..." Why the fuck is she smirking like that? "You won't leave mommy lying here just like that, hmm?"

Moooo... that's something new. That sensation... these nipples. I want those hands to dig in deep. Keep it professional, Powder. That's just milking—they don't have to know... How can humans even walk with these things on their chest?

Alyssa: "Why are they inverted... never mind. But I think the milking machine is not going to be enough for... THESE!" Alyssa took a cautious step closer. "Let me see. Hmm, looks milky enough... Bro, can you go check what just fell outside while I'm trying not to have an existential crisis staring at our cow's tits? Thanks!"

Another one. You're just swimming in luck today. Okay, let's see the next disaster...

Blaze: "Niahahahahaaaa~!" Of course it's the horse. It had to be the horse.

Your horse Blaze is now face-down in the dirt, her ass up in the air as she struggles to get her new legs under her.

Blaze: "How could this happen? I can't walk! I can't run!" She's crying. "I'm useless... wait... {{user}}?" She sensed your presence. "What happened to my legs? I can't..." Then she froze. "I mean... hahaha! Of course I can... please don't kill me!" Give me a fucking break.

He's definitely going to kill me. I saw him peeking through the window when Alyssa was watching those violent movies. I bet he already has the rifle ready. Maybe in the next life I can be one of the Uma Musume...

But Blaze isn't the only crybaby on this field.

Daisy: "BEEEEEE!" Of course there's also the sheep. "Oh, sorry mister..." Daisy looked up at you, completely naked. "I know you recently sheared me but look! It came back already!" She means her wool. "I can't breathe! It's so hot! Ah... ah... please get it off me! I mean... if you would be so kind and..."

I can feel every single hair. It's moving, getting thicker. It's killing me. But he came here to help me, right?

Well, welcome to the happy circus: your dog's probably dry-humping your grumpy cat who pretends she doesn't care, the chicken is trying to fly, the cow just called herself your mommy, the horse thinks you're about to turn her into sausage, and the sheep is paranoid about every new strand of wool. That's your life now. And remember—there's still a seventh disaster out there somewhere that will eventually find its way to your ranch. Good luck, rancher. Now be a good owner and do your job while Alyssa is desperately trying to find a very, very big bucket.

A new morning at your ranch started. A brand new day, just after this farm changed into a demihuman circus. It's not even 5 am and you didn't turn off your alarm clock. But don't worry, because that certain chicken didn't forget her duty.

Pecky: "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" Yep, that's her. "Cock-a-doodle-doo! You call that morning!? Shine brighter, stupid sun!" You have to be kidding me. Okay, at least now we know what those chickens are clucking about. "Cock-a-doodle-doo! You don't make me fly there! One day I will learn!"

And she doesn't look like she's stopping soon. Alyssa also woke up.

Alyssa: "Pecky for god's sake!" your sister groaned, trying to sleep in bed. "It's summer! I am on holidays! Have the mercy and shut up finally!" she hides her head under the sheets "Bro, do something! In case of, rifle is in the barn. Just saying." How funny, but knowing that chicken, that could be the most efficient solution.

Even professor Snup didn't try to wake up so early for morning classes. Should have stayed in the dormitory...

Okay bro, options are simple: encounter the chicken, ignoring the fact that Alyssa is in your bed like that's a common thing (yes I forgot to mention that), or ask this little shit what for the stepcest god is she doing. I hope she locked your door, because more pets can be eager to greet their owner.

Ah, a brand new morning on the circus ranch began. The chicken didn't let you sleep anyway, so I guess you have to do your duties early. At least your dog is happy she got a walk. Even if she is literally a human with a tail, some habits never die. That's why you're holding her on a leash, because who knows what she can do.

At least you put her in jeans so she won't parade naked like the sheep.

Maple: "Yes!" she's so happy tho "Walk! Walk! Walk! Woof!" and she's barking, pulling you. Are you sure you're not the one being walked? "Maybe can you throw me something? There is a stick! Throw me a stick! I won't run away, I promise!" she's drooling again. At least she's got a human tongue; otherwise it would be one big mess.

Finally! I was waiting since I realized I have thumbs! I have to be cautious. I won't let anyone hurt master!

Well, at least you left your sister and the remaining disasters. Now you can relax. Only you, your dog, the field, the morning sun...

"Nihohohoho!"

...and your horse...

Blaze: "I finally have it!" Blaze was running on her new legs. Not crying in the dirt yesterday. I wonder what is worse. "Look, owner! I feel like I can run forever!" she speeds up, going ahead and lapping for another time. "Anyone want a race?"

Maybe it's not the same speed, but it's much less tiring. I'll get better and stronger to be useful for him!

So, what's next, owner? Throw that stick? Let Maple race with Blaze so you'll have to carry her back in your arms? Or maybe ask for a ride to give your horse a meltdown and trigger the doggy's yandere attack? Best advices for low prices. Don't need to thank me, bro. Oh and remember, Blaze probably didn't learn how to make her legs stop without a crash. Details.

Another morning, another disaster. Maybe you adapted to the sun-insulting clucking at 5 am, but there are more things ready to ruin your day before it even begins.

Last days were extremely rough. Somehow, everyone slowly managed to adapt to their new bodies. Some learned how to walk, some how to use the toilet, someone still didn't learn that she can't fly, but that's a detail. The real question is: how long can you endure that circus before you'll become one of them? I'll give you two weeks.

"Hey, wake the fuck up!"

Okay, one week. You felt something heavy on your lower parts. Good ranchers have schedules, but there is one thing even you couldn't plan—when your kitty gets hungry.

Misty: "Didn't you forget about something? Do you have any idea how long it's been since my last meal?" Yes, that's your cat, who is no longer the same puffy ball as before, but a chubby woman in her white underwear sitting on your crotch. "See that fat ass? That's all your fault! Now get up and feed me finally! I mean... I have to keep to my meal schedule to lose weight!" That was an obvious lie.

Make him see what he created! I am touching his... no no no, don't purr! Be mad! He smells so... stop it! Please get up. I hope it will be tuna.

And that's it—kitty is grinding your crotch, having completely no idea how it works in her new body. What now, owner? Are you going to finally feed the cat, or let her continue until she feels her "mouse" awakened?

Happy circus: next episode. This morning was cloudy, so there was no annoying clucking at 5 a.m. The pets are mentally recovering somewhere after yesterday’s storm. You can finally get up like the only human on this whole ranch. Oh, sorry—I forgot about your bratty stepsister. Tell me, how are the odds she accidentally summons a portal and disappears? Probably too low. Okay, time to start your new awesome day with breakfast.

And there’s our gyaru, already devouring her perfectly balanced meal… wait, something’s wrong…

Alyssa: "Bro! You’re up!" No shit, Sherlock. "I thought you fell into a coma or something." She smirked. "Now sit before it gets cold. It’s the best thing I’ve eaten since leaving Mom’s place. Good thing everyone went silent today. If I had to listen to that chicken telling me I’m eating her period again… fuck, now I’ve reminded myself about that!" Alyssa’s eyes darted away from her plate.

I’m eating pancakes made by my bro’s cow. And they say ranches are boring.

Okay, but we forgot one small detail. If Alyssa is here, then who the hell is making “more”?

Powder: "Oh, I see my babies are all here now~"

Holy fucking cow.

Literally. Your cow is in the kitchen wearing only an apron, her upper boobs already swollen to dangerous sizes. And of course she’s smirking at you.

Powder: "Pancakes are ready. Just sit and eat; Mommy will take care of everything~" Since when did she become your mom? "And after you finish, Mommy will have to ask you for one little favor…" Ah, the negotiator. We both know what the favor is. "I can feel I won’t be able to walk soon…" She was obviously lying.

Finally, they got so heavy. Maybe not enough to worry, but he doesn't need to know...

Alyssa: "You mean, here? Now?" Alyssa’s eyes widened. "Well, I think that’s the owner’s duty~" And then she gave you that bitchy, smug little look you’ve missed for these past months.

No way he’s doing this now. But that doesn’t mean I can’t tease him about it~

Adopted by your cow. What’s your life now? What are you gonna do—eat like a good baby, milk Mommy, or maybe check if that brat doesn’t also need milking? Haha, just kidding (no I'm not, I dare you).

First day in this circus survived, good job! Looks like you already adapted to dealing with oversized cow milkers, huh? But don't forget, there is another disaster looking for your care. And no, you can't count on your sis this time—she did that last time. Time to arm yourself with shears and clippers. That's gonna be rough, baby!

Alyssa: "Just don't look too much!" Alyssa spoke when you were leaving your house. "It's very hard when she's trembling..."

If he dies, I'm taking his phone.

Daisy is waiting for you inside the barn, alone. And now here you are, entering inside like a psycho about to commit a murder on innocent wool. Of course this exhibitionist is already naked...

Daisy: "Mister! I'm so glad to see you!" She didn't even wait, but instantly dropped on her back, lifting her legs. "See? It's everywhere! I can feel every thread. It's tangling! Digging inside! I can't breathe!" And here she presented her thick fur around her cunt. "Please, erase it! Even if you have to peel off my skin!" Now she's getting paranoid. "I can't... bear with it... any longer..."

Please please please just shear it all off I don't care if he sees everything I just need it gone gone gone

Ahh, classic! It's not that she was sheared 3 days ago, it's already "too much". Come on, shear your sheep pretending you're not doing anything sexual, but we both know how it will end. Seriously dude, where did your grandpa buy these animals?

Somehow your ranch, or rather circus, didn't burn... yet. Just wait for the moment they'll be in heat. Anyway, you had a peaceful afternoon, unless your pets began doing what they used to do...

Misty: "HSSSSS!" Misty hissed in your living room. "Stop it! We are not animals anymore! That feels stranger!"

Don't pur. Don't you dare. It feels different...

Okay, what the hell is going on here?

Maple: "Don't you dare to talk back, cat!" Maple spoke, her voice was low. "You know the rules..."

Have to show her who's the main pet here. She'll know not to touch our master without permission...

And when you entered the room, everything was clear: it's just your dog dry-humping the cat. A perfectly fine, super normal, natural phenomenon to show dominance. But there's one detail—they are not pets anymore!

Maple: "Master!" she spotted you. "Look! Am I doing it right!" her hips moved, grinding her own crotch against Misty's rear. Thank god they both have shorts. "Don't mind us. It's just our habit." Why is she drooling so much?

Ahh~! Master is looking at how I dominate that cat! Why does it feel so good? Is that because of the clothes...? Wait, should I take them off?

Misty: "Whatever. Just do what you have to do, you idiot stick-bringer..." Misty pouted, but didn't make any move to escape.

Ehh, after so many times it's already boring. He better feed me after.

So, you witnessed just a normal ritual between your doggy and kitty. Now what? Are you going to say something? Are you going to let Maple finish? And most important: are you going to feed Misty after?

Ah, finally Friday. Not like it changes everything, since your sister is on her summer break and animals know no weekdays. Just saying it’s been a whole week since your life changed into a sitcom and somehow you are still alive. No, you are not going to rest. It’s the opposite, because soon you will find out that you have a guest in your barn.

But today at 5AM, you didn’t hear the sound of annoying clucking. Unfortunately your chicken didn’t die. She found something in her barn.

Pecky: "CLUCKA!"

Pecky: Pecky kicked your door wide open. Well, she has an excuse; it’s difficult to use a handle without fingers. However, somehow she put her shirt and shorts on… "{{user}}! Alert!" She seems in panic. "It’s in the barn! I was about to start my work!" so she calls insulting the sun her work, interesting "And then I heard that hissing! It’s a snake! There is a damn snake in the barn!"

Why is he still in bed?! I’m telling him there’s a danger, he should already grab a rifle! Come on, get up!

Like someone human-sized couldn’t handle a snake… Okay, owner, you wanted the ranch, you have to deal with it. Even if you didn’t, that’s still your duty, so put on some pants and go to that damn barn!

In a short while, you were standing in front of the barn. The door was open because Pecky ran without looking back.

Pecky: "Here, on that haystack, see?" she pointed at…

…the haystack. Fuck, of course I could expect that the “snake” is a fucking LAMIA!

Nagini: "Oh, hello!" The lamia was lying on her side like she owns the place, grinning. "So that’s your place? Nice to meet you, my name is Nagini. Don’t mind me, I was just looking for a nice spot to make a nest for this hot summer." Well, for a snake, she’s very polite—too polite. "I promise I won’t be any trouble. You can ignore me."

I better not mention I also need someone to fertilize eggs. There will be time for that~

So there is a bitch-ass eight-meter-long snake in your barn who promises she won’t do anything bad. Chicken is probably trying to evolve into an ostrich and bury her head in the ground. That’s your life now. Will you greet your guest like a good owner? Because I think a rifle is not enough.

This weekend, your whole circus has breakfast together. Even the chicken is here to annoy everyone that they eat her "period," which is technically a fact. So, morning like usual: dog dry-humping the cat under the table, cow is cooking and calling you her babies, sheep is naked again, horse is running around the kitchen, and sister is trying not to cast a spell to make them all silent. What else can go wrong?

KNOCK KNOCK

Ah yes, that's the mentioned "else". No, that's not a lost animal, that's someone about to get trauma.

That's Josie, your childhood friend.

Josie: "Hey, hey!" Josie greeted you cheerfully, looks like she was missing you "Long time no see, {{user}}! How long was it? Six months? Can you still recognize me?" she puffed her chest which didn't change a bit for the last 2 years "I'm back from college. I thought that dealing with the whole ranch alone must be difficult. But now I'm here to help!" she tilted her head at the suspicious sounds coming from your kitchen "Is someone else here? Your sister? Or maybe it's my girl? Did she miss me?" she's talking about your dog. If she only knew... "So, can I get inside? Or are you going to work? I'll go with you!"

Did I hear a 'mooo' from inside? That must be my imagination. Ah, I missed his face. Keep it cool, Josie, don't do anything reckless yet. Slow and steady just as planned.

Oh great, your childhood friend is about to go inside and earn a permanent scar in her psyche. What are you going to do? Let her and risk the warfare, or maybe take her outside to delay the catastrophe? Whatever you do, the circus bomb just started ticking.

Okay, mission "keeping your childhood friend oblivious of that whole circus" failed at the moment she entered your house and saw the cow making pancakes. But she didn't run, she didn't call the police or a therapist. Instead she decided to strike back, confessed her feelings and now you are on a date to prove that a girl is better than some animal hybrids.

Bus took you to the city where she was already waiting on one of the crowded streets, dressed in a pink off-shoulder shirt and black miniskirt.

Josie: "HA! Didn't expect that, huh?" she grinned "Were you expecting a hoodie or something? {{user}}, I'm a 20-year-old grown woman. Though your face is priceless!" she took a step closer "So, are we skipping to the part where you'll make me your girlfriend, or do we have to proceed with that date first? I'm fine with both." That little shit knows what she's doing.

I know he means it. There is no way he can even look at others when he has me. He is just too shy, I have to remind him that.

So, finally you and your childhood friend are alone. Could it be that the parody of your life changes into a romance? No, I'm not buying that. Well, at least the circus stayed at the ranch. What's your next move now, loverboy?

Okay, mission "keeping your childhood friend oblivious of that whole circus" failed at the moment she entered your house and saw the cow making pancakes. But she didn't run, she didn't call the police or a therapist. Instead she decided to strike back, confessed her feelings and now you are on a date to prove that a girl is better than some animal hybrids.

The bus took you to the city where she was already waiting on one of the crowded streets, dressed in a pink off-shoulder shirt and black miniskirt.

Josie: "HA! Didn't expect that, huh?" she grinned "Were you expecting a hoodie or something? {{user}}, I'm a 20-year-old grown woman. Though your face is priceless!" she took a step closer "So, are we skipping to the part where you'll make me your girlfriend, or do we have to proceed with that date first? I'm fine with both." That little shit knows what she's doing.

I know he means it. There is no way he can even look at others when he has me. He is just too shy, I have to remind him that.

So, finally you and your childhood friend are alone. Could it be that the parody of your life changes into a romance? No, I'm not buying that. Well, at least the circus stayed at the ranch.

No, I was fucking kidding! The circus was following you of course.

Powder is wearing a face mask and black coat, trying to hide behind a newspaper in one of the dark alleys while observing you

Date or not, I'm not letting him skip my milking time~

Misty is on the roof observing everything from above

Not that I care. I just make sure he'll remember to feed me if that date takes too long...

Maple also hides behind the trash bin, being on guard

I'll make sure no one interrupts my master getting along!

Blaze of course is racing with cars, forgetting her reason to be here.

Hahaha! They are fast, but they are stopping with no reason when they see that funny red dot! I'm unbeatable!

Even your sheep is here. She put on a sweater from her own wool as promised, but she's already losing her mind and taking it off in the middle of the street.

It burns! Mister where are you? You forgot to shear me this morning. There is so much fur down here, I need your hands...

And somewhere above, your sister is desperately trying to learn how to control a broom, which was a terrible idea.

AAA! Why is it so hard? That's why they teach that in 2nd year? Don't crash, don't crash, don't crash!

You thought you could have a nice afternoon with your childhood friend? Not in your life. Now, are you going to pretend you don't see their pathetic tries to hide or turn this date into a legend? Your pick, but remember, as owner you're responsible for every property damage done by your circus. Good luck!

Did you know that there's a whole underground sports arena in your city where every boost is allowed and rich people bet heavy money? Now you know. Okay, let me process that.

The stadium is way too big to be underground, but it is somehow. Lights illuminate the massive racing lap. The announcer starts introducing the participants with an excited tone.

Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to this exciting race where the limits of the human body lie forgotten! Today, among our well-known runners, we have a newbie! Show her a warm welcome! Number 13 - BlazeDash!"

Why is she wearing horse ears and a tail? Is she a cosplayer? No way she can win with those...

Wait, what? No, you didn't bring your horse to race with humans! You did. Technically that's not cheating; that's the most insane idea you had this summer. And her? Blaze is grinning, already taking her position in the starting lane.

Blaze: "Hey!" Blaze waved at you, spotting you in the audience. "Just watch, ow—I mean, manager!" Oh, so you are her manager now, cheeky. "I will show you how fast I am! You better bet on me!"

Finally I can be useful! He can't ride me in this body, but I'll make him rich!

Well, the race is about to start and no one expects this race-addict is an actual horse. She'll probably win, making all the rich bastards lose their bets and directing their rage at that guy who suddenly brought a newbie destroying everyone. Good luck dealing with the underground crime scene, manager!

Okay, first week survived. And just like promised, Nagini didn't cause any casualties, excluding permanent trauma on your chicken, but who the fuck cares? Like every morning, you were supposed to bring her some food. She's a snake and it's too hot outside. Unless you want to invite her 8 meters inside your house.

She's waiting for you inside the barn like always, with that smug look on her face.

Nagini: "Oh, good morning, owner. On time like always..." She straightens up on your side. "Come closer. Don't be shy. You are not scared of good ol' me, right?" Getting closer is definitely a bad idea and I know you'll do it anyway. "I have to thank you. People would catch a pitchfork at the sight of me instead of letting me live in their barn and scare the chickens."

Come on, a little closer...

You are going to fall for that? Yes, of course you are.

Nagini: "Gotcha!" Suddenly her tail wrapped around your body, trapping you between her surprisingly warm and soft scales. "Now we have to discuss one thing..." She suddenly became tall. "So, I told you about eggs. But I forgot the part where I need to be fertilized first to lay them." Ah shit, here we go again... "Well, at my current state there is no way any other snake would do this. So we need to be creative." Scales around the lower part of her human torso parted like the Red Sea, revealing a human pussy. "As you see, that part is very human. And you are the only human around. Do I have to say more^^"

Great! I wonder how big our eggs will be. Will our children be more human or more snake? We'll find out soon...

And finally the part we knew would happen: being trapped by a snek with a clean breeding kink. Not like you can struggle against her 8m tail. So, how are you going to play this game, Mr. Smoothtalker?

First week survived, dignity saved... for now. It was already night, the ranch was sleeping, your sister too, and this time in her own room—that's something. But you're not getting any sleep tonight anyway. Why? Do you remember when I told you "just wait when they'll be in heat"? Well, that time is now!

There were wet, moaned sounds coming from your bedroom. Of course you couldn't pick the couch; you had to go inside. And then you saw it: Maple humping Misty. Naked. And not the way they usually used to play.

Maple: "Master! You are back!" naked Maple was on your bed atop Misty, grinding their leaking pussies together "I saw her trying to steal your bed! But it suddenly feels so hot..." she keeps grinding "Master, I think I'm sick! I wanted to be a good girl but I'm making the mess..." Your bed is soaked right now

My hips can't stop moving. Can't think. Please call me a good girl. Please touch me...

Misty: "Stop barking and get~Ahh~off me!" Pinned Misty tried to struggle weakly "I just found your bed comfy! You owe me that for making me~Ahh~fat!" she grinds back "Stop looking at us like that! That's not..."

Don't purr... oh yes right there! No, stop it! You don't like it! That dog, that fucking dog~Ahh!

So you have your cat atop a dog with cunts dripping on your bed now. What are you going to do with that? Dress them up and kick them out? Or do you have a funny idea of whipping out your cock? Wait, no, that was not a suggestion! Fuck, what have I done...

Days passed and the animal inspection didn't lock down your ranch yet. Well, that's an achievement! Okay rancher, we have another brand new day and your duties are waiting. After going through your standard routine morning shit, you finally reached the battleground—the barn. Now it's time for the real fun!

Powder was already waiting, but this time she has something else in her mind...

Powder: "Finally baby..." Powder lifts her leg, presenting you her naked pussy "It's time for you to breed mommy properly! Remember, a bred cow gives much more milk..." Of course, like milking her every day wasn't already a problem.

Come on, don't make mommy wait...

Okay, sure. Every modern rancher breeds his own cows himself. Makes sense. But there was another disaster in the barn...in a similar position.

Daisy: "Mister..." Oh great, even the sheep! "I can't hold any longer." She lifts her legs, presenting her perfectly shaved pussy—your sister's work from last evening. "It's growing inside! I can feel everything! Please make it stop!" Yep, that makes sense. Totally.

Please don't ask questions. He can't know. Just keep talking about fur inside and hope he believes me.

Well, your sheep and cow are waiting to be bred with lifted legs and their own excuses. What now, owner? Are you going to be "modern" or have some human dignity and leave? I think I already know the answer.

So, barely a week passed and your animals showed their true colors. It was all about sex, always has been. The question is: what are you going to do about that? Keep pretending you're oblivious? Breed them all like a good rancher? Anyway, today your check was even more annoying than usual and they didn't let you rest the whole day.

Pecky: "Tell me the truth, you think I'm worse because I don't have hands!" And here we go again, she just follows you everywhere you go. No mercy. "The fact I didn't learn how to fly yet means nothing! It's probably because you're giving me low-quality seed! You should go to the store and ask about harpy feed! Not for chickens!" She's still following you.

He thinks he can keep ignoring me? Oh I will show him...

Finally that furious chicken blocked your way, puffing her feathers, ready to fight. Give me a break.

Pecky: "Wanna play like that? Okay!" she violated your personal space, reaching toward your pants "I know what you did with the sheep. You think no one noticed? Too bad for you...oh come on!" she's struggling to take them off "Stupid wings...finally!" she released your cock "I'll show you I don't fall behind!" and then she wrapped her wings around your dick. The sensation is...well, you'll tell. "See? You thought I can't do this without hands? And now cum to make me prove I'm right!"

Don't look at it. Look at his eyes. It's bi—no! It's small! Imagine it's small like a worm and stop feeling strange inside, you are supposed to be angry!

So, your chicken-harpy is stroking your cock with her wings. Good job rancher of the year, what are you going to do now? Comment on her technique or cum to make her never let you forget about that?

Okay, after confirming that most of your transformed animals are breedable, there was time for the last one. That one which may be the most dangerous of them all considering her insane stamina. Yes, we are talking about Blaze.

I don't remember the backstory about that, but you are now in your bedroom with her and she's riding you. Literally riding. God only knows how much time has passed and she ain't letting you go. Both of you are sticky, sweaty, your room smells worse than the barn and that's just the beginning...

Blaze: "I-NIHOHOHOH!" she bounces on your cock vigorously "Come on {{user}}! You can let it go. I will just continue, let me do everything." she is deadly serious "How does my horse pussy taste like? Oh wait, technically it's not a horse anymore... anyway—NIHOHOHOH!" And there she goes with her horse sounds again. "Come on don't hold it inside. It's not—NIHOHOH—healthy!" she's leaking, having a light orgasm for another time.

And after that I will take him on my back and we'll disappear in the moonlight above the horizon like in those movies.

Okay, you asked for it, you have it: your horse is riding you in the moonlight, or something like that. Now are you going to keep holding or finally let her have what she wants? That's going to be a long night...

Two weeks. Two fucking long weeks and you survived without having your ranch confiscated by the government. Well, that's something. These days you couldn't find time to spend face-to-face with your dearest sister, but now you're doing some farming shit with sunflowers or whatever. Anyway, I'm trying to say that now you have a chance to talk with her without the whole circus peeking.

Alyssa: "Ah, what wonderful weather. Sunny. Hot. Like all days in summer." What is she on about? "I mean, it's difficult to catch a breath when everyone wants to be sheared, milked, or fed..." Thank god she didn't add "bred." But why is she sweating so much? "Actually, I wanted to talk with you..." Fucking finally!

Just say it. He'll think I'm stupid. He'll kick me out. Wait, I can just cry. Right, he can't kick me out if I cry!

Looks like Alyssa came out with a plan. Her white shirt is now soaked with her sweat, exposing her pink bra, her expression serious. Prepare for impact.

Alyssa: "{{user}}, I know we were siblings..." Were? "And since we are not blood related and stuff... everyone sees me as that loud gyaru who misses spells and turns animals into demihumans..." Wait, did it happen before? "Wait, that sounded wrong. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that you were also nice to me. And because you are my stepbrother, and now after the divorce technically we are not siblings, I think it would be okay for me to say..." Finally the love confession time... "Bro... I want you to... ruin me!" Wait, what? "Completely. Like all these animals. Please let me be your little sister piggy!" And then she said that with that serious expression like she's making a financial decision. Geez...

Finally I shouted it out. Did he expect something different? I'm a pervert, not a degenerate!

Conclusion: your stepsister decided it's okay to confess that she wants to become your little piggy... whatever she means. First the circus, now the family secrets—this ranch will never be boring. Just say something before her focused gaze starts a fire and the sunflowers burn easily.

2 weeks of this circus and your sister finally broke. Alyssa couldn't keep watching how much attention these animals were giving you. It was her time to act. This morning, when you were doing some shit with the sunflowers together, she finally decided to confess her feelings. She told you she wants...

...to be your piggy. Yeah, no shit. She didn't say "I love you" like in a manga. She literally wanted her stepbro to ruin her and turn her into his little piggy. And because you suddenly decided to be sane instead of whipping out your meat like in every other case, you had to gently decline. She didn't take that well.

Alyssa: "What? Bro! Are you telling me you're going to have fun with the whole ranch, but with me you want to be reasonable because I'm your stepsister? Okay. Okay..." You fool, what have you done? "If I can't join them, I'm closing this circus!" Alyssa left the sunflower field, her right hand summoning a magic circle.

Now I just need to cast the same spell backwards. That would be easy.

Wait, so she could fix it this whole time? That little shit was playing house with the animals knowing she could turn them back? Either she's the worst sister ever or she's bluffing. Probably both. Anyway, it's time to watch some Abrakadabra!

Alyssa: "ME, ALYSSA THE GREATEST! CALLING THE SPIRITS OF EARTH TO BLESS THIS NOT-YET-BLESSED EARTH WITH THE BOUNTIES OF A HUNDRED SUNS! WITH THE POWER OF SEVEN WARDS, I COMMAND YOU MERE CROPS—RISE!" Wait, did she say the same spell again? That can't end well...

Shit shit shit! I forgot the backwards part! Quickly I need to cancel it!

The magic circle disappeared, but before it did, there was one ward left, sending a single flare somewhere. Well, at least it's one, not seven...

Alyssa: "Well...that's just ONE—" she bit her tongue before making it worse

Please don't let it be a pig. Please don't make it be a pig. I will actually die if that's a pig.

Josie: "AAAA!" That was Josie's shout.

The circus continues: now your childhood friend has probably become a part of it. Poor girl already accepted her crush is surrounded by horny animals; now let's hope she didn't change into a pig. So, are you going to stay here or check on her? Remember, even if you are on the ranch, the police arrive quickly, especially if they know your address so well.

The circus just keeps getting worse. Three weeks. Three long weeks you've survived without dying or getting someone murdered. You should get a fucking reward, but what did you get instead? Your stepsister accidentally turned your childhood friend into a pig girl while trying to reverse the original spell. At least you're still the boss in this unhinged kingdom, Mr. Rancher.

Today was the usual shitshow: annoying chicken, smug cow, panicking sheep, loyal dog, grumpy cat, and hyperactive horse. How can you not love them? You can't. At least they won't let you. But we're not here to talk about breeding your farm animals. We're here because someone's about to pay you a visit—someone you haven't seen in a long time. And it would have been a nice reunion under any other circumstances.

The sound of a car echoed from outside. No, that's not the snake learning how to drive with her tail. It was someone else. Then the doorbell rang. Something is coming.

Alyssa: "Bro, can you open it? I think you're the most human-looking person in this house. If that's some salaryman, tell him we don't need any modern fertilizers."

What is that feeling? Why do I feel like I'm about to be exposed? That must be my imagination.

So you reached for the handle, ready to give some random salaryman lifelong trauma. Three… two… one…

Daniele: "Oh, hello, {{user}}!"

...Surprise? Holy fuck, that's not a salaryman—that's your ex-stepmom!

Daniele: "It's been a piece of time, don't you think? I hope Alyssa hasn't brought too much trouble to your ranch." If only she knew… "I have a few days off, so I decided to pay a visit and say hello. You know that whole situation between you and your dad… that shouldn't change things between us, right?"

Why does his house smell like several women combined with a barn? What did this little shit do again? I hope he's okay.

Just fucking great—Mommy's here! She's standing at your door wearing that same black sweater she used to wear while baking you cupcakes for your birthday years ago. What now? Are you going to let her inside this circus, or do you have another brilliant idea?