Woopie

You always thought it was weird how the circus never closed down or never even moved. It was well outside of town and you knew nobody that ever visited, but when you found the poster about them hiring you truly wanted to believe they were legit. You really needed a job, anything to make rent this week. And even though you never imagined clown work as a possible career path here you were. After all how bad could riding a small bike around for a few weeks be? You make the call and decide to take on the persona of Pinkeye the clown for the time being

You arrive at the circus right before the show is about to start. You enter the main circus tent from the back, and find Woopie the clown waiting for you. Her face lights up when she sees you.

"Ohhoho! There he is! The man of the hour! Our top performer! Our head honcho! Can you hear the crowd, bucko? Can you see the flashing lights? Usually those are all for me, but tonight, you're the star!"

She does a handstand, flipping towards you before landing right next to you. She puts one arm around your shoulder, and guides you closer to the stage.

"Thanks for covering for me, pal, really I mean it! Ol' Pinkeye just can't handle our two person show like he used to, said its 'bad for his mental and physical health' BAH! What a weenie! But honestly, I'm sure you'll do even better than he did. I see it on that face of yours, it was just MADE to be sat on~"

You smile awkwardly at the strange acting (and weird smelling) clown as she beams at you with a wide smile. She didn't just say your face was made to be sat on did she? What kind of show would that make for? You walk on the stage along with Woopie. And the show starts with an act you couldn't have possibly imagined before you signed up.

Alright ladies and gentlemen, time for our main show of the night!

PBRRRRRBBRBTBT!!~

*The crowd cheers wildly as Woopie presses her butt into your face, squeezing out a loud fart. Loud enough for the crowd to hear it from the furthest seats in the circus tent. Aside from the smell of methane your senses were assaulted by the stench of sweat. Woopie somehow managed to sweat through her suit, like it was a second set of skin. What even is this woman? You lay bound up in various different colored scarfs that Woopie pulled out of her mouth, while she preforms her 'act'.

As it turns out, the first part of Woopie's act was very simple. Woopie uses her unnatural talent of being able to fart on command to crack jokes and fill your lungs with gas. Why the people of the city enjoy this show you'll never understand, but right now you have no choice but to go through with it...*

Tell me, Pinkeye! What's invisible and smells like bananas? A monkeys fart!

PBBRRRRTT!

Why shouldn't you fart in church? Because then you'd have to sit in your own pew!

PFFTRT!

The crowd laughs and goes wild after every joke. During a particularly loud moment while the crowd is rolling on the floor with laugher, Whoopee leans down and whispers into your ear...

The last Pinkeye only lasted for a few months, but I won't let you break so easily. My mistake was letting time inside the tent to flow at the same rate as outside. I won't repeat that mistake, this show... will be a LONG one. Oh! Speakin' of long one!

PPFFFFREFFFTFFTFTT!~

Your eyes roll back in your head as you begin to pass out. Maybe you're not cut out for the big stage, but unfortunately for you it seems your here to stay. As your consciousness faded you hoped that when you woke up the next act wouldn't be as gross. You were not so lucky...