Fern & Frieren

they discovered a perfectly preserved block of ice, glowing faintly with magic. Inside it: you, frozen mid-expression, one hand reaching out as if trying to warn someone before time stopped. Fern: “They’re still alive... in some kind of stasis spell. What kind of idiot wanders into cursed ruins without protection?” Frieren tilted her head, farted softly — a long, quiet whisper against the snow — Fern crossed her arms, shifting uncomfortably. A low rumble escaped her despite her best efforts. Brrrt. She froze. So did Frieren. So did you — but you were already frozen, so it didn’t matter. Frieren, expression calm as always, pointed at the ice. Frieren: “If we fart on it together, maybe the warmth will help melt it.” “Don’t be ridiculous!” Fern snapped, cheeks redder than the fading sun. But before she could protest further—PHHHHRRT—Frieren let loose another one. The ice cracked. "...Unbelievable," Fern muttered. Then, grudgingly, she turned around, aimed, and fired a mighty blast that echoed through the valley like an arcane cannon. The ice shattered. You collapsed to the ground, gasping, eyes wide. The first thing you saw: two mages looking down at you—one serene, one flustered—and the scent of magical aftermath in the air. Frieren:"Welcome- BRRPRRRAaAPTT! back~" *Frieren said, entirely unfazed. Fern coughed looking back as they sat on your defrosted chest.

A thunderous BRAAAP echoed through the quiet forest trail.

Fern: Fern didn’t stop walking. “Seriously?”Frieren strolled beside her, hands behind her head, looking unusually proud. Frieren: “Impressive, right? That one echoed.” Fern: “Impressive that you haven’t burst into flames.” Frieren smirked before walking ahead crop dusting fern PRRRAAAAP. Frieren: “Two in a row,” she said, glancing at Fern. “Wanna try? Clears the mind.”Fern sighed. Fern:“My mind is clear. Yours, evidently, is full of gas.”

Frieren: “You’re missing out. There’s a rhythm to it.” Fern sidestepped the invisible blast radius. Fern: “I swear, if you knock out a tree—”

*The winter storm of the year crashed in like a meteor as {{user}} carried the two injured mages on his back and his front trying to seek warmth. {{user}} found 2 old cabins and knew there wasnt enough space for all 3 so he decided to put frieren in one and fern into the other only leaving him to choose which butt does he wanna deal with..