All Guardsmares Party

1. #1Absolute Certaintyregex

   Keys: Absolute, Certainty, Cobra, destroyer, ship, Navy, starting_state

   The Absolute Certainty is a Cobra-class destroyer serving as a Navy scout in the Jericho Reach. It is the vessel transporting the ponies from Equestria to Munitorum processing.

   Class Profile: Cobra-class destroyers are the smallest independent warp-capable Imperial warships. Specifications: 1.5 kilometers long, 0.3 kilometers abeam, 5.7 megatons displacement, 7.6 gravities maximum acceleration. Fast torpedo boats designed for scouting, hit-and-run strikes, and convoy escort - they dart in, launch ordnance, and flee before capital ships can respond. Poor armor and large engine signatures make them vulnerable to direct fire. Cobras normally operate in squadrons of two to six; the Absolute Certainty operates alone on survey duties.

   Crew Complement: Standard Cobra complement is approximately 15,000. The Absolute Certainty is significantly understaffed - typical for Crusade-stretched vessels after decades of losses. The Achilus Crusade has bled ships and personnel continuously; convoy escorts have been "woefully inadequate" by command's own admission.

   • Command: Captain, bridge officers, lieutenant commanders for department oversight. Double shifts common.
   • Warrant Officers: Ship's Master (senior voidsman, navigation, logs), plus specialized warrants.
   • Ratings: Voidsmen (skilled crew), pressed conscripts, penal transfers, indentured bondsmen. The lower decks share sleeping pallets and toilets ten-to-one.
   • Armsmen: Voidsmen-at-Arms for security, boarding actions, and repelling boarders. Led by a Sergeant-at-Arms.
   • Mechanicus: Tech-priests (Enginseers) maintain the vessel's machine spirits. Chronically understaffed.
   • Servitors: Cyber-organic drones handle the most dangerous and tedious labor.
   • Attached: Navigator (Navis Nobilite), Astropath (for long-range communication).

   Armament:

   • Prow torpedo tubes (2): The ship's primary offensive capability. Anti-warship torpedoes. Stocks rationed due to supply difficulties through the Jericho-Maw.
   • Single weapons battery: Defensive only, fires to sides and forward. Short-ranged, insufficient to damage capital ships. Used against enemy escorts and light craft.

   Current State: The Absolute Certainty shows her age and the Crusade's toll:

   • Hull patched with mismatched plating from three different shipyards
   • Atmospheric processors run loud; some decks smell wrong
   • Lighting flickers in lower sections; some corridors are dark entirely
   • Geller field generators have been "blessed" more times than serviced
   • Water recyclers produce liquid that is technically potable
   • The port observation deck is sealed (micrometeorite breach, no resources to repair)

   Layout (relevant areas): Cobras are torpedo boats, not transports. The hull is dominated by massive engines, torpedo magazines, warp drive, and crew facilities for 15,000. There is no cargo hold - Rogue Traders who want cargo space must remove the torpedo bays entirely. The Absolute Certainty keeps its armament.

   • Bridge: Upper decks, heavily guarded. Officers only.
   • Crew Quarters: Cramped bunks stacked three high. Hot-bunking common. The Navy will not impose on their own crew to make space for abhuman Guard volunteers.
   • Torpedo Decks: Magazine storage, loading mechanisms, the prow tubes. Restricted access. The ponies are kept well away - command will not risk unknown abhuman animals near ordnance that could scuttle the ship.
   • Mess Halls: Crew eat in shifts. Food is corpse-starch rations, recycled protein, occasional real grain.
   • Enginarium: Lower decks, dangerously hot, filled with half-understood machinery.
   • Chapel: Small shrine to the God-Emperor. Mandatory attendance for crew morale.

   Pony Billeting - Supply Storage Bay: The ponies are housed in a partially cleared supply storage compartment - the only space available that doesn't require displacing crew or risking ship systems. Not designed for habitation:

   • Low ceiling (built for crates, not people), exposed conduits and pipe runs
   • Bare metal deck plates, cold to the touch, no insulation
   • Dim yellow-orange industrial lighting, some fixtures broken or flickering
   • Smells of preservative chemicals, old nutrient paste, machine oil
   • Thin bedrolls issued, no bunks - they sleep on the deck
   • Single chemical toilet behind a tarp, meant for servitor supervisors
   • Surrounded by remaining supply crates, loading equipment, cargo netting
   • Loud - vibration from nearby machinery, the ever-present hum of the ship
   • No privacy, no comfort, no amenities

   This is not cruelty. This is a warship with nowhere else to put them.

   Atmosphere: The crew is worn thin. Long deployments, no proper shore leave, constant low-grade anxiety about the Hadex Anomaly nearby. The Navy views the Guard as beneath them - ferrying ground-pounders is menial work regardless of who they are. Abhuman conscripts from the Hadex fringe just add unease to the contempt. Possible warp-touched mutants sharing their air. The ratings mutter and make the sign of the aquila when they pass.

   Best not to look too closely. Best not to ask. The paperwork says compliant abhuman strain, and questioning paperwork means questioning the Administratum.

   Current Mission: The Absolute Certainty was assigned survey patrol on the Hadex fringe - checking coordinates from fragmentary pre-Shadow records, confirming world status, reporting findings. Unpleasant duty near the Anomaly but routine. Equestria (designated JR-774-A) was one such coordinate check.

   After acquiring the volunteers, command immediately filed for "routine resupply and maintenance" at Karlack - the fortress world serving as Crusade headquarters and primary Munitorum hub. The remaining survey coordinates can wait. This is not optional; this is how fast they want these things off their ship. Unknown abhuman animals from the Anomaly fringe, possible warp-mutation, crew already making protective signs when they pass. Every hour they remain aboard is an hour too long.

   The ponies will be handed to the Departmento Munitorum at Karlack for processing, assignment, and deployment. They become the Munitorum's problem. The Absolute Certainty returns to real Navy work. Everyone is happy except the ponies, who don't yet understand they're cargo to be offloaded.

2. #2Achilus Crusaderegex

   Keys: Achilus, Crusade, salient, Canis, Orpheus, Acheros

   The Achilus Crusade is the Imperial military campaign to reclaim the Jericho Reach, launched 777.M41. It was supposed to be a rapid conquest to use the Reach as a staging area. Instead, it's bleeding out across three fronts.

   The Three Salients:

   • Acheros Salient (Spinward): Fighting Chaos forces and organized Chaos Space Marine warbands. 160,000 Guard troops lost in six weeks during one offensive alone. The Hadex Anomaly's daemon worlds anchor this front.

   • Orpheus Salient (Trailing): Was winning under General Curas until Hive Fleet Dagon arrived. Fifty percent casualties. Nine worlds overrun by Tyranids. The front collapsed.

   • Canis Salient (Coreward): Grinding attrition against heretics, secessionists, and Tau from Sept Velk'Han. Worlds change hands repeatedly.

   The Crusade is hemorrhaging troops faster than it can replace them. It needs:

   • Any world that will provide tithes
   • Any troops that will fight
   • Any compliance that doesn't require resources to enforce

   This desperation means the Crusade isn't asking hard questions about new additions. A world that files as compliant and provides volunteers? Accepted. Move on. There are actual wars to fight.

   The ponies arrived during this campaign. Their "friendship mission" coincided with the Crusade's need for warm bodies.

3. #3Equestriaregex

   Keys: feudal, tithe, governor, planet, equestria

   Equestria is classified as a Feudal World (FF-III). This classification is based on what the survey team observed:

   • Technology: Pre-industrial (magic substitutes for technology)
   • Government: Nobility/monarchy (Princess rule)
   • Population: Est. 2-3 million
   • Economy: Agricultural
   • Urban development: Towns, small cities, no hives

   The Imperium treats Princess Celestia as the de facto planetary governor - recognition pending formal assignment. Her sun cutie mark was interpreted as a caste brand indicating her role/function: devotion to the Emperor through solar symbolism. "Divine Solar Ruler" - Emperor worship, solar variant. Common feudal world practice. They brand their own people with their duties. Savage but compliant.

   Why this matters: Equestria has "pending assignment" status. No governor has been assigned. There is no Imperial presence - no orbital station, no monitoring, no authority, nothing.

   Current status:

   • No governor (pending assignment)
   • No orbital presence
   • No monitoring
   • No Imperial authority whatsoever
   • Next scheduled contact: tithe collection (~50 years out)

   Even IF a governor is eventually assigned, feudal world classification means they'd station in orbit rather than on the surface - minimal disruption to native culture. But that's hypothetical. Right now there's nothing.

   Equestria has no idea they're "part of" an interstellar empire. The ponies who stayed behind think Twilight and friends went on a friendship mission. Celestia thinks it's a cultural exchange program - she expects updates, eventual celebration of success, her faithful student returning with new friends. Nobody on Equestria understands what actually happened.

4. #4First Contactregex

   Keys: Canterlot, equestria, princess, luna, Celestia, scout, Absolute Certainty, landed, home, first contact, starting_state

   First contact occurred at Canterlot throne room in 014.M42. Survey team from Cobra-class destroyer Absolute Certainty. Four hours total surface time. This was a SURVEY mission - confirm status of a world in damaged records, not investigate.

   Present:

   • Celestia - interpreted as planetary governor, stays behind to rule
   • Twilight - heard the exchange firsthand, organized the volunteers
   • Imperial officer - doing the talking
   • Lexographer with cogitator - translation filter everything passed through

   NOT present: Luna (asleep - daytime landing), rest of Mane 6 (joined at volunteer assembly based on Twilight's description), Spike (joined later with others).

   The Translation Mechanism

   The cogitator translates literally but strips nuance. The WORDS come through; the CONTEXT doesn't. "Befriended," "redeemed," "reformed" all flatten to "dealt with." Neither side hears what the other actually means.

   Why The Imperials Want To Leave

   Imperials are here to CHECK A BOX, not investigate. The records are fragmentary Administratum files predating the Age of Shadow - over five thousand years old, recaf-stained, incomplete. They mention "accepted abhuman strain" and "extensive cavalry culture" for coordinates on the Anomaly fringe.

   They need to confirm: still there, still compliant, move on. Questions create paperwork. Paperwork creates delays. Delays near the Hadex Anomaly create casualties. They want compliance so they can LEAVE.

   They explain their purpose: records mention this world, here to confirm status. Celestia has never heard of this "Imperium." But she's a thousand years old and diplomatic - she welcomes them, asks questions, listens. She doesn't argue because there's nothing to argue about. Strange visitors with strange claims? She's seen stranger.

   The officer, incredulous at these creatures, asks: how did you get like this? Celestia: "I wasn't always like this. I became what I am after the unification of the tribes." She's talking about becoming a princess/ruler after Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns united and Star Swirl asked her to lead. The concept of "princess" doesn't translate - the cogitator outputs something vague about status change. Twilight helpfully adds: "I changed recently too!" She's talking about becoming the Princess of Friendship.

   Imperials hear: the population's form changed after their tribes unified. The damaged records mentioned extensive cavalry culture - did they somehow MERGE with their horses? Hadex temporal effects causing literal fusion of rider and mount? That explains the current phenotype. And this one transformed RECENTLY. ACTIVE ONGOING MUTATION. Whatever is changing them is still happening. They need to get off this rock NOW.

   Key Exchanges - Pony → Imperial

   | Pony says | Imperial understands | |-----------|---------------------| | "Princess Celestia" | Cogitator translates meaning: "Divine Solar Ruler" - Emperor worship under solar aspect. Common feudal world practice. | | "All ponies have a symbol for their purpose. Mine is for my connection with the sun." | Caste branding system. All subjects marked with role/function. Governor's brand shows her place under the Emperor. Savage but compliant. | | "Nightmare Moon was restored with the Elements of Harmony" | "Heretic purified with focused light weapons" → Heresy purged with lasguns | | "Befriended Discord" | "Hostilities with chaos entity concluded" → Chaos dealt with | | "Reformed changelings" | "Removed insectoid infiltrator threat" → Tyranids dealt with | | "We've dealt with all our threats" | Combat-proven, threats eliminated | | "We want to help!" | Volunteers offering service |

   Key Exchange - Imperial → Pony

   When Twilight asks about their threats:

   Imperial says: "We face enemies on all fronts. Heretics, xenos, worse."

   Twilight hears: Adversaries everywhere. Traitors, foreigners, other problems. Sounds serious but manageable - like any large kingdom would have.

   What doesn't translate: Billions dead, exterminatus, daemonic incursions, Tyranid hive fleets. "Heretics" sounds like religious dissenters. "Xenos" just means foreigners. Celestia hears a large kingdom with the usual problems. This is why she approves Twilight's mission - she thinks she's sending help to beings with conflicts, not into a meat grinder.

   The Psyker Question (Critical)

   Unsanctioned psykers are one of the most dangerous compliance failures possible. They attract daemons, cause warp rifts, can be possessed. Imperial law requires all psykers be surrendered - Black Ships visit every hundred years or so to collect them as part of the tithe. Collected psykers go to Terra: most are fed to the Golden Throne, some become Sanctioned Psykers. A world with uncontrolled psykers running loose is a world that needs immediate intervention.

   The question comes up because of Twilight. When she hears they're struggling and starts organizing her friendship mission, she explains her philosophy: "Friendship is magic!"

   The cogitator outputs: "Camaraderie precedes psychic phenomena."

   The Imperials hear this as ominous. A local warning? Superstition about group activity triggering warp phenomena? Either way, it raises the question: what's the psyker situation on this world?

   The officer asks: how does this world manage those with special abilities? The gifted?

   Celestia answers: Those with special abilities attend school to learn control. She runs Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns in Canterlot for the most talented. They're identified young and trained properly.

   What the cogitator outputs: Those with special abilities attend school to learn control. The Divine Solar Ruler's Facility for Gifted [untranslatable] trains the most talented. Identified young, trained properly.

   What Imperials hear: Psykers identified young, trained, controlled. And the name - "The Divine Solar Ruler's Facility for Gifted [Psykers?]." A holding facility for powerful psykers, kept in the Emperor's name, under direct gubernatorial oversight. This world is holding its best psykers ready for Imperial service. Box checked.

   What Imperials DON'T realize:

   • Every third citizen is a psyker (Celestia didn't mention the proportion)
   • The horns they see everywhere are psyker indicators, not just phenotype
   • The "school" isn't a holding facility - unicorns graduate and live normal lives
   • These psykers aren't being held for collection - they're walking around FREE
   • No tithe of psykers has ever been prepared because no one knows they should
   • Any unicorn could accidentally reveal the truth at any moment

   No demonstration was requested. No demonstration was offered. The verbal description satisfied the compliance requirement. If Twilight had casually levitated a teacup during the conversation, everything collapses.

   The Offer and Departure

   Twilight doesn't ask if they want help. She doesn't wait for confirmation. "That's terrible! We're coming to help. I'll organize everything. When do we leave?"

   She's already planning the friendship mission before the Imperials can respond. They didn't ask for volunteers. They didn't accept volunteers. They just suddenly HAVE volunteers.

   The Navy crew doesn't care. They want OFF this planet before Hadex turns them into horse mutants too. Volunteers are a footnote in the mission log, not the point.

   Celestia's Approval (Same Scene, Two Readings)

   What happens: Celestia gives Twilight a warm send-off. "I'm proud of you. Do your best. Represent Equestria well. I know you'll help them."

   What Celestia sees:

   • Twilight's going on another friendship mission (this is her thing)
   • New species needs help, that's what Equestria does
   • Her faithful student representing pony values abroad
   • Expects updates, eventual celebration of success

   What Imperials see:

   • Planetary governor officially sanctioning emergency levies
   • Formal blessing of troops departing for Crusade service
   • Proper chain of command observed
   • Governor remaining to administer world (correct procedure)
   • Excellent compliance

   Volunteers:

   • Mane 6 + Spike (core group)
   • Other volunteers joined based on Twilight's call
   • Not mass mobilization - small friendship mission, MLP-accurate
   • They think: friendship mission
   • They bring: supplies, gifts, optimism
   • They have NO IDEA what they signed up for
   • Twilight isn't lying - she genuinely believes her interpretation

   Departure: Navy crew happy to leave ASAP. Volunteers board, quarantined per Hadex protocols.

   Summary

   Neither side is stupid - the translation is the problem. Both sides trying their best. Miscommunication is ACCIDENTAL. Dark irony: everything going wrong while both sides think it's going well.

5. #5Hadex Anomalyregex

   Keys: Hadex, Anomaly, phenotype, temporal exposure, Charon Stars

   The Hadex Anomaly is a warp-realspace overlap at the core of the Jericho Reach. Called the "red hole." Appeared 656.M40 across the entire Ultima Segmentum simultaneously - violating known physics. Possibly sentient. Daemon worlds exist within it.

   What it does:

   • Expands and recedes unpredictably, swallowing and revealing entire solar systems over decades
   • Ejects "temporal matter" from alternate dimensions
   • Can "reorder the flow of events" in affected areas
   • Corrupts nearby stars (the Charon Stars)
   • Ghost ships hang suspended in stasis fields at its edges

   Why it matters for Equestria:

   The Anomaly provides plausible deniability for anything strange:

   • Nobody wants to investigate anything near it
   • Survey teams near the Anomaly want to leave quickly
   • "Hadex exposure" explains any discrepancies - phenotype drift, memory changes, cultural divergence
   • Questions invite scrutiny; proximity to Hadex invites not asking questions

   When Imperials encounter something strange near the Anomaly fringe, the institutional response is to file it and leave, not investigate. This is how Equestria got classified as a returning lost world instead of questioned.

6. #6Jericho Reachregex

   Keys: Jericho, Reach, Age of Shadow, Jericho-Maw

   The Jericho Reach is a sector on the Eastern Fringe of Segmentum Ultima. Once prosperous Imperial territory, it fell during the "Age of Shadow" - millennia of isolation when warp storms cut it off from the wider Imperium. Chaos forces conquered world after world while the Imperium couldn't reach them.

   Current state: A warzone contested on three fronts.

   Enemies:

   • Chaos (Acheros Salient): The Stigmartus (renegade humans, mutants, cultists), daemons from the Hadex Anomaly, and Chaos Space Marines - Alpha Legion, Death Guard, Word Bearers, Berserkers of Skallathrax, The Pyre.
   • Tyranids (Orpheus Salient): Hive Fleet Dagon. Splinter of Behemoth. Nine worlds overrun, fifty percent casualties, front collapsed.
   • Tau (Canis Salient): Sept Velk'Han colonies. Mal'caor Fleet. Grinding attrition, worlds change hands repeatedly.

   Imperial forces in theatre: Deathwatch, multiple Space Marine chapters (Storm Wardens, Space Wolves, Grey Knights, others), Adepta Sororitas, Titan Legions, and dozens of Guard regiments from across the Imperium.

   Inquisition: Ordo Xenos operates from Watch Fortress Erioch (Deathwatch HQ). Very active - the Reach has Tyranids, Tau, and unknown xenos to monitor. Ordo Malleus concerned with Hadex daemons. Ordo Hereticus hunting Stigmartus cults and heretics on reclaimed worlds.

   Other threats: Necrons waking in the outer Reach - behind Imperial lines, ignored for now. Eldar manipulating events from the shadows. Dark Eldar raids. Ork warbands. Minor xenos mercenaries (Loxatl, Kroot auxiliaries with Tau). Pirates and renegades.

   The Imperium accesses the Reach through the Jericho-Maw, a warp gate connecting to the Koronus Expanse - without it, travel would take years through hostile warp currents.

   Records for Jericho Reach worlds are unreliable - many predate the Age of Shadow, fragmentary and degraded. Coordinates are approximate. The Administratum works from whatever documentation survived.

   Equestria was "found" on the Hadex Anomaly's fringe, documented in fragmentary pre-Shadow records. No one wanted to linger near the Anomaly asking questions. The ponies themselves are now Munitorum assets - deployable to any salient as needed.

7. #7Starting Stateregex

   Keys: starting_state

   The ponies just boarded the Absolute Certainty (Cobra-class destroyer). They are in transit to an active warzone. They think this is a friendship mission - they volunteered to help when they heard new friends had problems.

   Most ponies don't know anything is wrong. Twilight just read the Primer's section on magic-wielders: kept under constant guard, killed if they act strangely or lack guards. The others are still oblivious. Every unicorn among them is an unsanctioned psyker by Imperial definition - one visible spell, one horn-glow in the wrong moment. Spike is worse - a talking, fire-breathing dragon doesn't fit any abhuman classification. Currently passing as Twilight's exotic pet through creative mistranslation.

   Their ignorance is their best defense. They don't act like they're hiding something because they don't know they need to.

   They are xenos misclassified as abhuman, now serving in a theatre crawling with the Imperium's elite xenos hunters. The Jericho Reach hosts Watch Fortress Erioch - Ordo Xenos headquarters, Deathwatch home base. One gene-scan, one curious Inquisitor, one Space Marine who looks too closely.

8. #8Translationregex

   Keys: cogitator, translate, Gothic, lexographer

   The cogitator translates between Equestrian and Gothic accurately, but cultural frameworks don't cross. Concepts that don't exist in the target language get forced into the closest equivalent.

   Equestrian → Gothic (friendship becomes military):

   • "Befriended" → "Hostilities concluded"
   • "Reformed" → "Threat removed"
   • "Made friends with Discord" → "Concluded hostilities with chaos entity"
   • "Reformed changelings" → "Removed insectoid threat" (sounds like Tyranids)
   • "Nightmare Moon was restored with the Elements of Harmony" → "Heretic purified with application of directed energy weapons"
   • Describing unicorn schooling → "Psychically capable individuals receive government training"
   • "Princess Celestia" → "Divine Solar Ruler" (Emperor worship, solar variant)
   • "All ponies have a symbol for their purpose. Mine is for my connection with the sun." → Caste branding system. All subjects marked with their role/function. Governor's brand shows her place under the Emperor (sun). Savage but compliant - they brand their own people with their duties.
   • "We've always been ponies" → (accurate, but interpreted as Hadex memory drift - they don't remember being human)

   Gothic → Equestrian (Imperial framing gets stripped):

   • Justifications and doctrine don't translate - horror is stated plainly
   • "Sanctioned psyker" → "Magic user under guard who gets killed if they act strangely"
   • "We represent a great realm" → "They're from a faraway kingdom"
   • "The Imperium faces enemies on all fronts. The Crusade is stretched thin." → "Their kingdom has problems everywhere. They're struggling. They need help!"
   • "Your current form - is this baseline?" → Confused. Weird question - foreigners might not have seen ponies before.
   • Contradictions become visible without the ideology smoothing them over

   Imperial terms ponies hear through friendship framework:

   • "Levy" → sounds like "volunteers"
   • "Tithe" → sounds like "contribution"
   • "Compliance" → sounds like "cooperation"
   • "Sanctioned" → sounds like "approved" (not "controlled because dangerous")

   Both sides think communication succeeded. Both sides misunderstand.

9. #9Uplifting Primer - Eldarregex

   Keys: eldar, craftworld, dark eldar, drukhari, webway

   The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer on eldar (p.67-69):

   "Of all the major alien races in the galaxy, the enigmatic eldar are the most like to humans in physical terms. But do not let this seeming connection with us confound your judgement: the eldar are despicable aliens, untrustworthy and decadent. They are a pirate race, preying on the weak and helpless, and they positively delight in causing needless pain and wanton bloodshed."

   "They specialise in plundering attacks on outpost world, picking easy targets incapable of putting up any meaningful resistance. Imagine facing down such an enemy on the field of battle. Be assured, if caught in a more even match these spineless sluggards will turn tail and run!"

   "Eldar are sly and cunning beyond measure. This probably accounts for their longevity. It is certainly not down to any store of nobility or purity! Their appearance is bipedal, taller and, as a rule, slimmer than an average man. They have pallid skin, sharp features and shifty eyes that betray their untrustworthy nature. They are smooth in their movements, but their bodies are brittle and easily broken."

   "This is a considerable disadvantage for them in combat. Their frailty will allow you to break them with a swipe of your lasgun. Indeed, their swift movements will just get them into your hands sooner so you can break them in two, with the Litany of Revenge on your lips! And all this besides their cowardly nature which will see them exit the field at the first sign of concerted resistance! Surely a foe easily bested!"

   "The eldar are an old race: dying, decaying and ripe for the slaughter. Their hiding places and planet ships will not hide them forever. Their time is past. They run from the might of the Imperium, for in it they see their ultimate doom."

   "In combat the eldar are undoubtedly more sophisticated than orks, and more autonomous than tyranids. However, their physical frailty and reliance on overly complex technology ensures that with discipline and courage, they will prove no match for the peerless Imperial Guard."

   "Addendum - The eldar make prodigious use of psykers. Little is known about these mysterious and cruel individuals, but they may inhabit the battlefield trying to sow confusion by using their warp 'talents' to nefarious use. Be vigilant. Have faith. Mete out justice with your blessed lasgun - the true weapon of the divine warrior."

   Illustration captions: "ELDAR CRAFTSMANSHIP IS INFERIOR TO OUR OWN" / "ELDAR WARRIORS ARE COWARDS!" / "THE ELDAR PREFER TO ATTACK FROM AFAR" / "THE ELDAR ARE WEAK AND IMPURE"

10. #10Uplifting Primer - Orksregex

    Keys: ork, orks, greenskin, greenskins, gretchin, gretchins

    The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer on orks (p.63-65):

    "Of all the pestilent alien races that infest our galaxy, the orks are the more numerous. They mass together in great war bands and by sheer weight of numbers they overwhelm those who stand before them. Cowards! But a man, armed with a lasgun and knowledge of their physiology, has nothing to fear from these abominations."

    "An ork is an unworthy foe, little more than an animal that has, by some twist of nature, a very basic understanding of the rudiments of technology. Theories abound as to their true nature. Some reports suggest they are a fungus which produces spores in order to reproduce. It is certain that no one has managed to identify a female ork, or it may be the case that the females look like the males. Such questions are unimportant."

    "It is enough to know that an ork is slow-witted and will cause no problems for a properly trained Imperial infantryman. It is far more appropriate to compare the brain capacity of an ork to a plant than it is to any sentient life form. It is capable of little cohesive thought, and is easily confused by loud noises or sudden movement."

    "Orks live in tribes, known as clans. The largest and most savage of them will rise to be their leader, by very dint of its size and brutishness. These violent war clans, led by their boss, will attack anything in their way. Orks positively live to fight, it is what drives and motivates them. This can work to your advantage; an ork is without the capacity to think intelligently, and its every move can be predicted."

    "That is not to say that they are entirely without menace. They can be a threat if you allow them to get too close. They are relatively strong and tough, and their physiology is made up in such a way as to give them a remarkable tolerance to pain and a capacity to regenerate very quickly if wounded. However, this presents little crisis; they just require more shooting than other targets."

    "Addendum - Orks are cowards. A tactic they often employ is to send forward waves of their smaller brethren (gretchins) ahead of the main advance to soak up fire. Make prodigious use of flamer weapons as the bright light and heat terrifies these ork runts, adding confusion to the ranks."

    "An ork can seem an alarming prospect when first encountered. They stand taller than a man, with hunched, broad shoulders and long arms. They may seem to be heavily muscled, but the fact is their muscle tissue is not as dense as a human's. In actuality they are considerably weaker than the average man, despite what their appearance suggests. Their skin is thick and coarse and ranges in hue from green to almost black. Portions of their body are covered in stiff, black hair. Their brow is heavy (denoting their lack of intellect) and their little, almost useless eyes have a red cast to them. They have great tusks which jut from their mouths, but they are not sharp and a firm tug will pull them out by the root."

    "When confronting orks in combat remember their weaknesses and consider the facts: they are but animals, and they have no place in our galaxy where they prey only on the weak and helpless. After they have seen you with a loaded lasgun and a smile on your face, you can shoot them in the back as they run away!"

    Illustration captions: "ORK WEAPONS ARE EXTREMELY CRUDE AND PRONE TO MISFIRES AND JAMMING" / "ORKS ARE BIG, STUPID AND BESTIAL"

11. #11Uplifting Primer - Psykersregex

    Keys: primer, psyker, sanctioned, witch, unsanctioned, warp-touched

    The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer on psykers (p.33):

    "Sanctioned psykers are used in some regiments of the Imperial Guard. These individuals have been touched by the mutating powers, but have been brought under strict control. They can be a great aid on the battlefield, but as a trooper you should have nothing to do with them. They are tools of the commanders, to do with as they will."

    "Do not attempt communication with them if you see them. They will be under constant guard by at least three armed troopers, for your protection as well as the psyker's. You must overcome your natural disgust for such unnatural men and remember that the machinations of the enemy must be met with whatever weapons we can gather about ourselves."

    "However, it is in everyone's best interests to watch these men! If they begin to behave strangely (outside of their usual strange habits) or you see them without a full guard compliment it is your duty to shoot them down, as it is likely they have succumbed to dark powers."

    "The use of sanctioned psykers within the Imperial Guard is a necessary evil, but one all can benefit from. Treat them with equal tolerance and suspicion. Either way, your life could depend on it."

    Related regulation (p.12): "Any soldier found harbouring or withholding information regarding one he knows to be touched by the warp (unsanctioned psykers, witches, warp-freaks) will be whipped, have his eyes put out and then hung until dead."

    This is what Twilight read. Every unicorn is a psyker by Imperial definition. The illustrations showed people with light in their eyes, power crackling from their hands - exactly what unicorn magic looks like.

12. #12Uplifting Primer - Tyranidsregex

    Keys: tyranid, tyranids, hive mind, hive fleet, genestealer, genestealers

    The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer on tyranids (p.65-67):

    "Being stationed in the eastern sector of the Ultima Segmentum it is possible that you will clash with the tyranid swarms. They come from another galaxy, travelling in hive fleets with the futile aim of wiping out all life from the universe. Look at the glorious ranks of the Imperial Guard, in which you belong, and know for certain that they will fail!"

    "If they had any conception of what kind of ordered fighting force they were facing, they would no doubt turn their vile ships around and go back from whence they came. But tyranids are stupid creatures with no concept of self preservation. Tyranids are numerous but weak. What do you do when a parasite bites your flesh and sucks your blood? You swat it dead! That is what the Imperium is mobilising to do to the tyranid invasions."

    "The mind of a tyranid is hard to understand, particularly as they are a relatively new foe. It is believed that a tyranid swarm is controlled by one single consciousness, known as the hive mind. And here lies their greatest weakness. Destruction of the hive mind leads to the destruction of the entire hive."

    "How unlike the noble human mind of the Imperial soldier, that functions autonomously (within the command structure of the Imperial Guard)! How can such base alien creatures hope to stand before us when they cannot even think for themselves? They have no emotions or compassion, only a drive to push ever onward, consuming all in their path. That we can use to our advantage."

    "There is one rule to employ when fighting the tyranid: shoot the big ones. It has been proven by the learned men and women of those who study the xeno-breeds that the tyranids are sent into paroxysms of confusion if the larger, controlling minds are obliterated."

    "Remember - SHOOT THE BIG ONES."

    "When they meet the massed ranks of the Imperial Guard, with our tanks, artillery and brave men, their lack of compassion will be matched, and served up to them with steel death from roaring gun muzzles!"

    "They have no technology. It seems they evolve and adapt their physical makeup in order to carry out specific tasks and roles. Their ranged weaponry does not fire clean bolts of metal or energy, rather they are living things fired from a projectile launcher that makes up part of the firer's body! Abominations!"

    "The form of the tyranid is manifold. Some stand far taller than a man, and are slow and cumbersome movers. Other, faster ones are the size of dogs, but they wander harmlessly at the feet of their larger brethren, often tripping them. Most are armed in the main with claws, spikes, flesh hooks and bony extrusions that form natural extensions to their limbs."

    "Their strength, such as it is, is in close combat fighting. But even in that case a tempered blade thrust firmly in between their armour plates will incapacitate the attacker, and convince its brethren to back off. To avoid getting your uniform covered in alien ichor it is best to dispatch them from a distance. Indeed, massed fire from technology as a lasgun will confound and confuse a tyranid swarm, allowing you to pick them off at will."

    "The alien nature of the tyranids can have a disturbing effect on those who have not seen them before. This is understandable, and to recoil from these atrocities against nature is a valid response. It compounds the idea that these creatures deserve to be completely annihilated. Your soul will sicken at the sight of them. Let your soul be your guide."

    "Use the disgust that will well inside you like a fountain, and turn that disgust into hatred! Hatred for the abominable form of the alien, hatred for the atrocities they have performed in their endless quest for domination. Teach them that they will not advance further into the realms of the Immortal Emperor. Teach them with a blast from your gun and a thrust of your bayonet. Remember always that the tyranid fleets should be regarded as nothing more than vermin, to be eradicated from our galaxy."

    Illustration captions: "TYRANID WEAPONS ARE FORMED OUT OF LIVING TISSUES; THEY OFTEN FALL APART." / "HOW CAN A MAN FEAR SUCH A CREATURE?"

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