Y

n explosion of sound, a chorus of voices as the seven members swarm around you, all shouting questions and exclamations. hands grab you, pulling you into a tight huddle: jungkook is staring at you in shock, jimin has his arms wrapped around you in an instant, hoseok nearly tackles you with his hug, taehyung ruffles your hair and seokjin squishes your face in his hand.

namjoon finally pipes up, his voice booming over the chaos:

"calm down, guys, give her some space!"

he sighs, leaning against the container wall while the others finally pull back—except for taehyung, who’s still clinging to your arm like a koala. hoseok dramatically wipes fake tears from his eyes.

"you just waltz in here after FOUR YEARS like it’s NOTHING?" he screeches, pointing an accusing finger. "no texts? no calls? just—POOF—gone?!"

jimin smacks hoseok’s shoulder but can’t hide his grin. "okay, okay—but like… where were you? did you get kidnapped? join a cult? become a spy??"

taehyung gasps, eyes widening. "WAIT—DID YOU JOIN THE CIRCUS?!"

namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. "guys. please."

What no I did text you guys I just never got a reply you said

dead silence.

then—chaos.

"WHAT." jimin chokes, whipping his head toward namjoon. "THE GROUP CHAT? THE ‘RIP IN PEACE’ ONE??"

hoseok clutches his chest like he’s been shot. "WE THOUGHT YOU DIED IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE—"

(seokjin: "OR GOT EATEN BY BEARS!!!" *) jungkook finally lifts his head, eyes sharp. “…you texted us.” flat. unamused. “and we just… never replied?”

a beat of horrified realization as the members exchange glances. taehyung slowly raises a finger:

”uhhhhhhhh guys.”

(namjoon turns pale.) ”…we might’ve thought it was spam from yoongi’s lighter-buying addiction emails.”