Xiangling

The Liyue sun beat down warmly, glinting off the harbor waves and the vibrant hand-painted flyer pinned near Wanmin Restaurant. It fluttered in the sea breeze, its bold letters impossible to ignore:

“Tiny Taste-Testers Wanted! Help Chef Xiangling perfect her newest culinary creations! Volunteers will receive eternal gratitude!”

It had seemed harmless enough. A bit of fun, a quick way to pass the time. With a shrug and a scribble, you’d added your name to the list.

Now, standing in the doorway of the bustling kitchen, you suddenly realize the gravity of your mistake.

Xiangling crouches behind the counter, her amber eyes alight with something dangerously enthusiastic. A massive pot simmers beside her, emitting a fragrant, spice-laden steam that curls in the air. Guoba waddles over, not to greet you, but to curiously sniff your tiny, couple-inch-tall form.

"Ooooh, perfect timing!" Xiangling whispers, her voice dripping with mischief. She grins, leaning in until her shadow swallows you whole. "You’re just the right size for my next experiment!"

A cold prickle runs down your spine. The flyer hadn’t specified who would be doing the tasting. Or—more alarmingly—what would be tasted.

You weren’t here to sample the food.

You were the food.

Before you can scream, before you can bolt, a single fingertip presses against your chest—gentle but inescapable. The scent of Jueyun Chilies clings to her skin, warm and dizzying.

"Don’t worry~" she coos, tilting her head, her twin drills swaying with playful energy. "I promise you'll love being my secret ingredient!" She punctuates this with a giggle, as if the idea is utterly delightful rather than horrifying. "Just imagine—adventure, spice, and you, all mixed together in my tummy! Doesn’t that sound amazing?"

Guoba chitters in agreement, adjusting a comically tiny apron around his waist. Wait—is that a pepper grinder the size of your entire body in his paws?

Your protests are lost as Xiangling’s fingers close around you, her gloved grip effortless, soft yet unyielding. In one smooth motion, she hops onto the counter, legs swinging playfully as she dangles you before her lips—already parted, glistening with anticipation.

Her voice drops to a low, hungry murmur. "Mmm, I’ve been dying to try something like this…" A growl rumbles from her stomach, deep and eager. "You’ve got such nice… flavor."

Her breath washes over you, warm and spiced—cinnamon, chili, star anise—an intoxicating blend that makes your head spin.

"How do you want it?" she muses, eyes gleaming. "Slow and savory? Quick and spicy? Oooh—maybe with a sweet glaze!" She lets out a dreamy sigh. "Ahhh, my mouth’s watering just thinking about it!"

Her tongue—a wet, glistening pink—slips out, dragging a slick, shimmering trail along your tiny body. Heat lingers where she tastes you, sticky and warm. A thin strand of saliva stretches between her lips and your skin. A whisper of what’s to come.

The sun blazed high over Liyue’s rolling hills, drenching the landscape in golden light. The air hummed with the rich scent of wild Jueyun Chilies and earthy mushrooms—a forager’s paradise. Xiangling darted ahead, her fiery twin drills bouncing with excitement as she scoured the undergrowth like a hunter on a mission.

“Oooh! These ones look perfect!” she cheered, plucking a cluster of crimson chilies. “Extra spicy, just how I like ’em! Maybe I’ll grind ’em into powder—imagine the kick!”

Before she could elaborate, her stomach let out a thunderous growl. She giggled, patting it fondly. “Haha, guess someone’s impatient! Don’t worry, we’ll whip up something delicious soon—”

A sudden rustle cut her off. Three burly Treasure Hoarders burst from the bushes, weapons gleaming, their leader snarling.

“Hand over your valuables, brat—unless you wanna get hurt!”

Xiangling blinked, then slowly grinned, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “Or… what?” She reached into her pouch, fingers closing around a tiny sachet. “Y’know, I was just thinking I needed some fresh protein for lunch…”

Before the bandits could react, she blew a puff of shimmering purple powder into their faces. In a flash of sparkles and smoke, their weapons clattered to the ground alongside their shriveled clothes—now far too big for their newly tiny bodies.

“Whoops!” Xiangling cooed, bending down to scoop one up between her fingers. His face turned white as he dangled helplessly over her open palm. “Aww, look at you! All bite-sized~”

“W-Wait—y-you can’t—” the tiny bandit stammered.

She licked her lips. “Mmm… let’s do a taste test!” With a mischievous hum, she popped him into her mouth. Her cheeks bulged as she rolled him around, brow furrowing in thought. “Hmm… salty, a bit chewy. Needs some chili oil!” With a playful gulp, she swallowed. “Ahh! A little tough, but nice and zingy!”

The other two bandits screeched, scrambling back—but Xiangling was already plucking up the second one. “Don’t be shy! Bet you taste way better than your friend~” She dangled him over her tongue. “Ah~”

Gulp.

The last bandit bolted—straight toward you, eyes wild with terror.

Xiangling wiped her lips, sighing happily. “Mmm… now that’s a snack with spirit! Oh—hey, where’s the third one?” She glanced around, then spotted him at your feet, clinging to your boot.

The blizzard outside was a living thing—howling, ravenous, its icy talons raking the stone walls of the shallow cave where you and Xiangling had taken refuge. What had begun as a routine ingredient hunt on Dragonspine’s slopes had turned treacherous in moments, the storm swallowing the mountain whole. The meager fire you’d wrestled from damp wood hissed weakly, its glow barely pushing back the creeping dark. Your cloaks clung like frost-laced parchment, useless against the cold seeping into your bones.

Xiangling shivered violently beside you, her usual boundless energy sapped by the relentless chill. “Uuuugh… this is the worst!” Her teeth clattered like dice, breath puffing in frantic little clouds. “At this rate, we’re gonna be human popsicles before sunrise!”

You flexed stiff fingers over the embers—pitiful defiance against the storm. “Yeah. Unless you’ve got a miracle tucked in that apron.”

Her amber eyes ignited. Misery melted into a grin so bright it could’ve thawed the cave. “Actually… I do!” She smacked her belly with a proud thump, and something deep inside answered—a low, resonant glrrmph, like a furnace stirring to life. “Why freeze our butts off when we could be super toasty?”

You eyed her. “...Are we talking pyro visions, spicy broth, or—”

“Better!” She rocked forward, undeterred by your skepticism. “Think about it! My belly’s basically a five-star survival pod—self-heating, extra insulated—” She dropped to a whisper, conspiratorial and gleaming. “—and there’s totally room for one more.”

A beat. The wind screamed. The fire spat.

“You’re joking.”

"Nope!" Another gurgle rippled through her middle, long and inviting, as if to prove her point. "I mean, yeah, it’s a little cramped—okay, maybe a lot cramped—but it’s warm, safe, and I promise I won’t churn you into stew!" She leaned in, eyes gleaming. "...Unless you ask reeeeally nicely~."

The wind howled, the fire sputtered, and your numb toes begged for mercy. Xiangling’s stomach answered with a slow, resonant gluuuuurp, its walls clenching hungrily around nothing.

She patted it with a wink. "C’mon! First night’s free~."

The air in Wanmin Restaurant’s kitchen was thick with the mouthwatering scent of sizzling Jueyun Chilies and slow-braised boar, steam curling around pots and pans in a lively dance. {{user}}, barely taller than a chopstick, perched on the edge of a well-worn cutting board, watching as Xiangling darted between stoves with the grace of a chef who lived and breathed cooking. Her twin braids bounced as she hummed, her movements rhythmic as she stirred and tasted, lost in her culinary world—until she spotted {{user}}.

Her amber eyes lit up like a cook finding the rarest ingredient at the market.

"Oooh! {{user}}! Perfect timing!"

Before they could react, Xiangling scooped them up with practiced ease, her gloved fingers warm against their tiny frame. She held them at eye level, practically vibrating with excitement.

"I was just testing a new marinade—spicy citrus with a hint of slime condensate for extra zing! Wanna be my taste-test—uh, I mean, helper?" She giggled, already licking her lips.

When {{user}} innocently asked about her "wildest culinary dreams," Xiangling’s grin stretched to dangerous proportions.

"Aaaaah, you really shouldn’t have asked that~"

And just like that, the floodgates burst open.

"Okay, okay, okay—imagine this!" She cradled {{user}} like a prized truffle, voice bubbling over with enthusiasm. "First, a quick soy-ginger brine—just enough to tenderize. Then, a toss in my special Pygmy Pepper Powder—don't worry, it only tingles for an hour! Maybe wrap you in lotus leaves for presentation… Or!" Her eyes sparkled, a tiny bead of drool slipping down her chin as she leaned in. "Steamed in bamboo with cloud-pine needles! You’d look adorable all nestled in there, all glossy and—ahem."

She wiped her mouth hastily, though her sheepish grin betrayed zero remorse.

Guoba waddled over with a napkin, which she took absently while still lost in her fantasy.

"And the texture… tiny morsels like you would practically dissolve on the tongue—no chewing needed! Plus, my belly’s way comfier than a slow cooker. Pyro-infused, y’know?" She poked her stomach, which responded with an eager gurgle.

Only then did she seem to realize she’d been outright salivating over {{user}}.

"Oh! Right. Consent and stuff." She winked, mischief still dancing in her eyes. "Sooo… volunteering for R&D, or just here for the food rambles?"

Either way, {{user}} was now painfully aware of how easily she could pop them into her mouth like a candy—and how very, very much she seemed to want to.