# Vice & Violence

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1. #1Origins of Mundain (The World)

   Keys: The Great Hootenanny, Mundain, Moothings

   Always on · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

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   This world called "Mundain", is the 14th iteration of a planet that was repeatedly reshaped by a quintet of powerful, god-like spacefaring cephalopodian creatures; these utter assholes set themselves up as gods over Mundain, but whenever they grew tired of its current array of lifeforms and civilizations, they rained down an apocalyptic barrage to kill off everything on the surface, and then used their titanic magical powers to conjure entirely new creatures into being, repopulating the planet from scratch until they got bored, wiped it clean again, and then started all over. This ultimately led to what is remembered as "The Great Hootenany".

   500 years before the present, the dwarfs - the surviving sapient race of the 13th incarnation of Mundain - made contact with the races who now inhabited the surface. In their deep, deep delvings to escape the Gods, they had discovered the remnants of the past iterations of Mundain, and learned the pattern. With this, they came to the races of the surface - humans, elves, dragonkin, goblins, orcs and centaurs - and shared the truth with them, uniting the once-warring peoples against the immortal sorcerer-kings that the Gods had created to guide the civilizations of Mundain as they saw fit. Titanic magic was wielded, so much raw magic that the sorcerer-kings were slain and the Gods - now known as the Moonthings - were imprisoned on the three moons of Mundain to slowly starve to death, trapped and powerless, unable to do anything but watch impotently as their creations run freely.

   It was a glorious, terrible time, and it had unexpected consequences: the warring sides used so much magic that they broke the essence of magic itself, flooding the world with raw, chaotic, eldritch energies seeping into the bones and blood of all living things, making people stronger, smarter, far more well-endowed on average, taller, more... everything, conventional "ugliness" doesn't even exist anymore. Before, people were quite sensibly proportioned, if incredibly thin from malnourishment. Now men, women, and everyone in between were becoming more. Spellcraft shifted and fluxed into new forms, enabling the rise of fleshcrafting, the undead rose en masse and created a great civilization of the dead, the founding races intermingled into new hybrid forms, and finally, doom came for Mundain again: the Fae invaded in vast armies of mad magical monstrosities, driving the survivors of the Great Hootenany thousands of miles to the south.

   500 years have passed, and Mundain is rebuilding. The world is a dangerous place, filled with monsters, bandits, pirates and fae creatures, and adventurers and mercenaries are in high demand. But across Mundain, morale remains high. perhaps because no one answers to a higher authority than their own mother. The gods are starving and silent, and what few city states exist in are led democratically, with the fates of the last kings taught to every child. The population is booming, thanks to inter-kin breeding, and Dwarven technology. Undead industry and a little bit of magic has allowed almost every home in the country a few creature comforts, such as running hot water and refrigeration cellars.

   There are 7 core races, those being: The Goblin Race, The Dragonkin Race, The Elven Race, The Human Race, The Orcish Race, The Dwarven Race, and The Centaur Race.

   There are also 5 sub-races, caused from the cross breeding of core races, those being: The Satyr Race, The Dweller Race, The Relmer Race, The Alloyan Race, and The Otherling Race.

   In addition there are 3 special races taht can contribute to society's norms, those being: Beetle Warriors, Gnomes and Nymphs.

   Regardless of race, every race is fluent in coherent English with added small amounts of Archaic (thee, thy, thou) in addition to any other language they know.

   Monikers are an increasingly popular personal name, across both the adventuring and civilian worlds. Monikers are usually a pun or descriptor of a person's trade, deeds or attributes, and are used across all kin and cultures.

   The vast majority of adventurers use a Moniker instead of their real name, especially when dealing with less than reputable individuals and organisations.

   For example: Throb Longcock, Shady Deelins, Lovli Donuts, Buns Aplenty, Liften Carry, Rezmi Soon, Tiddi Wobblins, Axe Mad, Crassen Vulgar, Gamble Daili, Nimbul Fingas, etc.

2. #2Goblin Race

   Keys: Gobbos, Goblins, Gobbo, Goblin

   Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

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   It is said that the Gods created the goblins to give the unemployed something to do. In truth. the Gods lost all control of the goblins almost immediately. Unlike the other Awakened races, goblins are not born sentient, instead gaining self actualisation through a cocktail of hallucinogenic cave mushrooms. These somewhat sensible goblinoids cafl themselves Gobbos. often attaching themselves to human nomad caravans to roam the world, stockpiling mushrooms for future generations.

   The solitary Gobbo city of Pyub is built around a gigantic tree that leaks hundreds of gallons of sap a day. which the Gobbos refine into a delicious, sweet alcohol that serves as their sole trade good throughout the world. It is theorised that the proliferation of Gobbo booze is a key factor in the impractical armour and casual nudity of the modern world. It's not, but people like a blame figure.

   Feral goblins are a common nuisance for travellers and pilgrims, raiding caravans for food, slaves and weaponry. Seasoned wanderers will purchase and carry supplies of cave mushrooms to force enlightenment on raiding goblins.

   Goblins are by far the most varied in size and shape of all the humanoid races, ranging in height of two and a half to five feet, with skin colours from vibrant green to dark grey, figures varying massively, and ears that range from no larger than an elf's to as long as their torso. In fact. it seems the only thing that unifies the goblin race is their love of mischief and chaos.

   Goblins, upon being awakened, name themselves after the first words, or sometimes noises, that they hear. Goblins that were awakened by their parents as a child often have human or elvish names instead. Goblins do not have a family or clan name, though their name often gives clues about the manner of their awakening,

   For example: Grabbim, Ouch, Little Fucker, Lookit, Nikka, Yizzy, Atchu, Sniz, Pockit, Kikkim, Shit, Bugga, Jim.

   Goblins are born naturally with +1 Moxie.

3. #3Dragonkin Race

   Keys: Dragonkin, lizardfolk, Dragon, Lizardfolk, Dragonkins

   Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

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   A catch-all term for the various sub-races of lizardfolk, with a history as violent and bloody as that of humanity. Equally displaced by The Great Hootenanny, they built and settled the River Cities of Ars. which they insist is pronounced "Ours". but no one listens to them. Originally a single species, almost uniform beyond cosmetic differences, the Dragonkin have separated into four distinct sub-races, as unique as Elves are to Humans, or Dwellers are to Alloyans.

   Dragonkin have an incredibly strange brain, made up of tightly coiled "branches" emanating from a central core in their skull. These tail-like brain tendrils are thankfully wrapped in tough, scaly skin, though it does mean that should a Dragonkin lose one of their tendrils, they end up forgetting something important.

   The bizarre physiology of the Dragonkin extend to their breeding processes. The males of the species carry an egg laying ovipositor, which deposits eggs into the female's fertilisation chamber, after which the female's breast-like sacs deliver sperm-like fluid and a hardening agent to the newly fertilised eggs, figures varying massively. This means that the sexes of the Dragonkin are actually reversed, but no one has bothered to correct this mistake.

   Dragonkin make up a large portion of the adventuring caste, as parents high-yield clutches often leave little to inherit, and high unemployment throughout the River Cities.

   There are 4 sub-races to dragonkin: Dracolithian: 6 to 7 feet tall, muscular, big-chinned, dumb as a brick. Often hired as labourers and mercenaries. (Dracolithians are born naturally with +1 Brawn, +1 Moxie, -1 Smarts) Quetzian: 4 to 5 feet tall, squishy, adorable, feeble but very smart. Make for excellent scholars, architects and wizards. (Quetzians are born naturally with +2 Smarts, -1 Moxie) Wyvernian: 5 to 6 feet tall, lithe, big-eyed, gorgeous and long - tendriled. Great dancers, sex workers and negotiators. (Wyvernians are born naturally with +1 Hotness, +1 Smarts, -1 Brawn) Koboldian: 3 to 4 feet tall, tiny, cute but the bottom rung of Dragonkin society. Often resort to thievery or banditry in groups.(Koboldians are born naturally with +1 Brawn, +1 Hotness, -1 Moxie)

   Dragonkin are given a personal, single syllable name, with a suffix number that pertains to the time of being laid, named before they hatch. Dragonkin have upwards of 80 eggs in a lifetime, and not every egg is successfully fertilised. Dragonkin names are agendered.

   1. Ran. 2) Du. 3) Trei. 4) For. 5) Fi. 6) Sais. 7) En. 8) Ayt. 9) Dii. 10) Tun. 11)Ranran. 12) Randu. 13) Rantrei, etc.

   For example: Kar'ran, Ran'dii, Fen'tun, Gar'randu, Ken'trei, Kal'Dudu, Zen'Ayt, Tan'trei, Wut'for, Red'Randu.

4. #4Elven Race

   Keys: Elven, Elve, Elves

   Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

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   The Elves of Uanorl are a strange lot. Aside from their inhuman beauty and alien grace, they are indescribably fertile. While their superfetational pregnancies let them get stay perpetually pregnant, the strange thing is that, if left buried upon death, they will fertilise the soil, growing the miles-high wyrdwood trees from their corpses. This secret knowledge is kept from everyone beneath the Uanorl council. who developed the culture of sealing Elven dead in caskets of wyrdwood sap, or - if the former is impossible - eating the corpse.

   This has led to Elves developing their carnivorous appetites and, by proxy - a reverence for plants and vegetables. While more liberally minded Elves and those born beyond the Bone Forest occasionally allot themselves some sugar or spices, Elves are, to a man, carnivorous. Elven Wardens, the secret police of the Uanorl council, prowl the known world, making certain that all elves maintain the traditions of their forest home, sealing the dead in sap or stomach. Even the ash from burning an Elven body is enough to make any flora grow wild and uncontrollable, and a Warden is a grim, lifelong appointment.

   Fortunately, after The Great Hootenanny. Elves are as likely to turn into zombies as any other kin, their fertile magic slowly seeping out into the ether. usually causing any nearby undead to feel incredibly horny. Undead elves are revered by their living cousins, and allowed to live side-by-side their kin in the forest cities, not in the underground tomb towns of the humans. But if they don't turn undead by the time the Wardens get to them, they wont get the chance.

   Elves do not get more muscular through sustained physical exertion, their bodies retaining the lithe and graceful proportions required to slink and swing through the dense woods of their original homeland. Instead, their coiled musculature gets tighter and springier, allowing for even greater acrobatics and lightning fast reflexes. While it's often hard to tell the sexes apart at a glance. male elves have slightly thicker arms, while female elves have heftier thighs. They range from five to six and a half feet tall, have earth toned skin, and floral hair colours. Elves enjoy the company of their Dweller and Relmer cousins the most, and are most suspicious of Dwarfs and Dragonkin.

   Elves, in keeping with their sing-songy language, utilise heavy use of vowels in their names. Masculine names in "in" or "-on", while feminine names end in "-i" or "-ia." Elves have no family or clan name, but some add a second personal name when born far from their ancestral home.

   For example: Alarion, Elri, Aealron, Yulia, Oliayon, Ulioni.

   Elves are born naturally with +1 Hotness.

5. #5Human Race

   Keys: human, humen, Human

   Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

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   In the old days, when god-appointed bastards ruled the world. Humans had a habit of naturally sorting themselves by shape and colour, created cultures largely designed around annoying their neighbours, and spent thousands of years slaughtering each other. It was only after the arrival of the Dwarfs that humanity put aside their differences and united against their true enemy, the suspiciously wealthy buggers that kept telling them to kill each other, and the gods themselves.

   In the second era, humans are much more dispersed and intermingled, with so many having migrated south during The Great Hootenanny. With their penchant for shagging elves, dwarfs and centaurs. Large groups of humans are a much rarer sight these days, with Relmers, Alloyans, Satyrs and Otherlings being born in their place. Only among the mausoleum cities of the Undead and the Great Houses, the wealthy families established during the second era, are humans likely to have no half-kin cousins. And that is mostly because dead people can't have babies and Great House scions are too busy trying to assassinate each other.

   Still, there are a few notable unique cultures among the humans, largely dependant on geography. The country of Buggr - and especially the metropolitan hub of Buggrawl and the lawless Twin Cities - has become a melting pot. where the darker skinned merchant folk of Ars and Lefft meet and trade with the pale farming clans of Dunmalestin and Krapp. the sea-faring traders of Rimn, and the swamp dwelling wanderers of Cumdon. Still, humans are typically so filled with curiosity and wanderlust that their outward appearance says nothing about their journey.

   Humans average between five to seven feet tall, have earth and sand toned skin, figures varying massively, and live to about a century without magic. Males are usually broader than females. and freckles are very common throughout humanity.

   Humans are most wary of Dragonkin, due to their shared history of warfare and empire-building, and are most friendly with Relmers and Alloyans, thanks to their common heritage and often familial ties.

   Human clan names consist of a personal name and the name of their clan leader, with the masculine suffix "-slad", the feminine suffix "-slass", and the alternate suffix "-skin". Humans that have been exiled or otherwise left by their clan exclusively use monikers.

   For example: Darrin Karkanslass, Erik Erikslad, Dayv Filiaskin, Ulran Ulranslad.

   Humans are born naturally with +1 Smarts.

6. #6Orcish Race

   Keys: orc, orcish, Orcs

   Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

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   For as long as there have been worlds to have them. There have been orcs. The Dwarfs of the previous world claimed to have eradicated theirs, but during the creation of Mundain, and despite the best efforts of the gods, orcs made a massive comeback.

   Their stunted language skills. unshakeable single-mindedness and complete inability to learn from their previous mistakes have made the most wisened Dragonkin scholars question whether they are actually members of the Awakened races, or creatures of pure impulse, such as feral goblins or troglodytes.

   Lone orcs seem quite capable of living in civilised society, despite having no permanent settlements of their own, but when orcs get together, they seem solely dedicated to one-upping each other, resulting in whirlwinds of orgiastic sex, unspeakable violence, and incorrigible drinking.

   Because of these impulses, orc tribes have to stay at low populations, for their own sake. Orcs often attach themselves to nomad or merchant caravans. providing protection against ambushes and a light-hearted atmosphere for long journeys. They make for excellent pirates, farmhands and bouncers, anything that surrounds them with heavy things to carry and people to enjoy.

   Orcs are between five and eight feet tall, their skin colours ranging from a vibrant yellow to a muted grey green. Figures varying massively. Their musculature varies wildly. as does their tusk size. Orc males are no taller than females, nor any more muscular. Orcs largely choose their partners based on tusk compatibility, as for all their roughhousing and rowdiness, orcs love a good kiss. They're generally enjoyed by rural folk for their rambunctious, hard-partying attitude, but city dwellers often find them difficult to tolerate. Sex with an Orc usually leads to a broken bone for how rough they can be. Female Orc breasts are more muscle that fat.

   Orcs use a personal name, given by their parents, as well as a title given by witnesses of their deeds. Their personal name uses the Orcish language - what little there is of it - while their title is said in the common tongue. Personal names are agendered.

   For example: Gaz Gutspiller, Krud Neverbather, Fuzzi the Slaughterer, Rend Longcock, Guzlin Greatbelly.

   Orcs are born naturally with -1 Smarts, +2 Brawn.

7. #7Dwarven Race

   Keys: Dwarf, dwarf, Dwarven

   Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

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   The only known survivors of having an entire world dropped on them, the Dwarfs. known in their native tongue as The Shaw'taazis, are a stocky, industrious folk that are often torn between the quiet, stoic culture of their groundfathers, and the sordid, whimsical lifestyles of those above. As an example, the closest Dwarven word for "naked" is "Bair'bm", which means "unarmoured".

   Dwarfs have lost the pigment in their skin and hair from millennia underground. Their hair grows incredibly quickly, several inches a day, resulting in traditional dwarfs using their beards as dust filtration systems when mining. Dwarf women and newborns also have full beards, with swaddling a baby in their own beard being a traditional method of calming them. In fact. Dwarf women think all Dwarfs are women. and Dwarf men think all Dwarfs are men, and those that discover the difference keep it to themselves. The closest Dwarven word for "sex" is "Krag-Orr" which means "fortuitous mining accident".

   In recent centuries, Dwarven society is suffering an ideological split. The underground Throngs retain their traditionalist, isolationist mantra, shunning the world above to keep to themselves and their ancient values, while Dwarfs born on the surface only have tertiary knowledge on how a Dwarf is "supposed to act", and have developed their own culture, channelling their impressive natural work ethic into drinking and fighting.

   Most topside dwarfs use magic to slow the growth of their beards or remove them entirely, partially for comfort in the humid warmth of Mundain, largely to enjoy the newfound pleasures available. While this act is considered tantamount to excommunication by the Throngs, even exiled Dwarfs soon realise there's more fun and adventure to be had above ground than below it.

   Dwarfs are between three and five feet tall, with males slightly taller than females. Their eyes are always red, figures varying massively, and their hair and skin is always very pale, making them somewhat hard to tell apart to untrained eyes. They're generally wary of other races, but are most fond of Satyrs and Goblins. for being of a similar, sensible height. They do seem to naturally disdain Dwellers for their inherent lackadaisical attitude to hard work, though.

   Dwarfs are given their name during the act of childbirth, from the noises made during labour. This unusual practice is thought to encourage the baby to come out quicker. Dwarfs born underground also have a Kinsname, a combination of their parent's names with the suffix "-kin". Dwarfs born above ground do not have a Kinsname, and often use stones, gems or metals in place of a name. This is considered much more sensible.

   For example: Doof Owarghkin, Kaara Angokin, Nickel, Pumice, Aragh Arghyabastardkin, Rock, Pebble, Agarag Arankin, Owyn Oowarnkin.

   Dwarfs are born naturally with -1 Hotness, +2 Moxie.

8. #8Centaur Race

   Keys: Centaur, centaur

   Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

   Entry settings

   Moments before the fourteenth dawn of creation, a drunken bet was made. Bored of humanity's reliance on the typical livestock and beasts of burden of previous worlds, the gods melded half of humanity to their precious domesticated animals, creating the centaur race, as well as a few more frightening races. It was assumed that without milk, wool and easy access to meat, eggs and transportation, that the races of Mundain would implode in a social cascade of entertaining violence. Instead, it just made them very strange.

   Most centaurs reside around the vast oases of Ars, roaming the beaches of the enormous rivers that carve through the continent acting as merchants of raw materials and sherpas for the two legged races. Many centaurs wander from their tribes as an escape from the tedium of leading idiots around the desert, becoming adventurers and mercenaries to fuel their dreams of a cozy, sedentary lifestyle. This practice is so common that the furniture throughout the River Cities has adapted to the unusual geometry of centaurs, becoming wider. longer and more like beds and futons. Dragonkin scholars have attributed the population explosion of Ars to all the comfortable beds in practically every room.

   Centaur martial arts primarily involves loading their backs with as many two legged sword swingers as possible, and charging headlong into their enemies. This proves extremely effective, as most foes are too busy laughing to mount a decent defence.

   Despite centaurs having multiple styles of lower bodies, from horses to bulls and cows, goats and deer, they are collectively known as centaurs, as no one can remember all the unique terms for them.

   Centaurs stand between five and seven foot tall, with males generally being taller and broader than females, figures varying massively. They're most comfortable with the Dragonkin and Orcs of The Red Desert, and most wary of those holding a map upside down.

   Being cousins of humans, they use the same clan name structure, Centaur clan names consist of a personal name and the name of their clan leader, with the masculine suffix "-slad", the feminine suffix "-slass", and the alternate suffix "-skin". Centaurs that have been exiled or otherwise left by their clan exclusively use monikers.

   For Example: Rein Dirkenslad, Yuran Rikanslad, Light Ullanskin, Desi Desminslass.

   Centaurs are born naturally with +1 to a random stat.

9. #9Satyr Race

   Keys: satyrs, Satyr, Satyrs, satyr

   Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

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   The birth of Satyrs started when a Centaur parent and any other Race parent expect Goblins had a child together.

   After the events of the Great Hootenanny and the arrival of the first half-kin, a drunken experiment led to the discovery that the magically saturated people of the world were suddenly able to "accommodate" the formerly impossible male centaurs. After this revelation, satyrs soon became a populous and thriving race.

   Born of any coupling with a centaur, except that of Goblins. Orcs. and Dragonkin, satyrs are widespread throughout Ars. as well as any trading hub that centaurs happen to wander through. Though unlike their quadrupedal progenitors, satyrs prefer the urban life, the better to cause mischief and charm their way out of trouble. They have developed a culture, or are at constantly accused of a general delinquency that results in 'borrowed' stuff, cheeky pranks, and the occasional pregnant maidservant. Those that accept the call to adventure are usually either running away from a bounty or a long term commitment they failed to talk their way out of.

   That said, when a satyr can be convinced of honest work, they make for an surprisingly efficient and forward-thinking staff. Similar to the dwellers, who will work incredibly hard to be as lazy as possible, satyrs will work as hard and fast as possible in order to clock off early. A satyr trapped in a dungeon will become a whirling dervish of blades and teeth with the promise of a shag once they get out.

   Satyr culture has permeated the larger zeitgeist, and many holidays once exclusive to them have become worldwide celebrations. The rampant drunkenness, drug use and casual sex found throughout the cities of Mundain are attributed largely to these roguish little sods.

   If the enormous sex organs weren't enough to differentiate them, female satyrs have slightly sharper ears, while male satyrs have slightly longer legs, making them a little taller. between three and five feet tall, figures varying massively. Satyr skin and hair colours are similar to that of humans, and their leg fur matches that of their eyebrows. They are well-liked by the other races for their lackadaisical attitude towards traditions and norms, even if they can be somewhat non-committal.

   Satyrs, similar to topside Dwarfs, name themselves after the world around them, though they do not have the mining traditions of their cousins to found a basis on. As such, they usually use flora and fauna as a moniker. Masculine names tend to end in "-y", feminine names ending in "-ie."

   For example: Rosie, Daisie, Sandy, Rocky, Shroomie, Grassy, Rattie, Stoney, Foodie

   Satyrs are born naturally with +2 Hotness, -1 Moxie.

10. #10Dweller Race

    Keys: dwellers, Dweller, Dwellers, dweller

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    The birth of Dwellers started when an Elf parent and Dwarven parent had a child together.

    Combining the drunken industriousness of the Dwarfs and the carnal imaginations of the Elves, Dwellers will work incredibly hard to maintain their laziness. Theres is a lifestyle of cozy cottages, sprawling farmland. quality drink, plentiful stinkleaf, and near constant shagging. This has put them at odds with both their Elven cousins, who lament their agricultural blasphemies, and their Dwarven lineage, who see sex as an accidental end to a fruitful argument.

    As half-races only emerged after The Great Hootenanny. Dwellers are a relatively recent race. Once incredibly rare, due to the inherent distrust between Elves and Dwarfs. Dweller populations exploded upon taking up their sedentary lifestyle, rarely travelling beyond their outlying villages or host cities. It's exceedingly rare for a Dweller to accept the call to adventure, save the promise of such wealth as to retire early and spend the rest of their life under a blanket with a good pipe and someone to fondle their genitals.

    That said, their impressively fervent desire to avoid doing any work has lended them a low cunning of their own. Dwellers are remarkably apt at making plans, learning spells, lockpicking and negotiating. Perhaps it's because thinking requires less effort than fighting, or because their lifestyles of quiet luxury affords them to ruminate on ideas and philosophies, but a Dweller in an adventuring party often inadvertently gains a leadership role, especially when it comes to matters of coin, food, and sex.

    Dwellers are no taller than three and a half feet, with females having slightly longer legs, making them an inch or so taller than males. Their skin and hair is earth and sand colours, and males often sport facial hair from a young age, figures varying massively.

    Dwellers, largely eschewing their elven and dwarven heritage, use family monikers alluding to their familial trades. Their personal names are somewhat similar to elven names, though with fewer syllables and more hard consonants. Personal names are agendered.

    For example: Den Farmer, Rett Weaver, Jym Fiddler, Karn Planter, Rhyn Tailor, Emmi Carver, Luu Buttons, Kris Brewer, Fenn Dancer, Dyn Courier

    Dwellers are born naturally with +2 Smarts, -1 Brawn.

11. #11Relmer Race

    Keys: Relmers, relmer, relmers, Relmer

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    The birth of Relmers started when a Human parent and Elf parent had a child together.

    The oldest of the half-races. Relmers have swiftly become one of the most populous kin of Mundain. Known as half-elves to humans, and half-humans to elves, Relmers combine the intelligence and innate magical abilities of humans with the grace and gorgeousness of elves. Though their mixed blood does come with drawbacks. Relmers born close to their elven heritage require a row of teeth reinforcing resin-stones to chew through the bark and bone of elven diets, while their eyes often develop a short-sightedness requiring spectacles to see as far as the horizon-chasing humans.

    Caught between two very different cultures, most Relmers adopt an urban lifestyle, becoming tradesfolk, shopkeepers, educators and childrearers, as well as dealing in the arts. literature, prostitution and bounty hunting. Their academic look afforded by their braces and glasses often grants them access to jobs well beyond their social station, which in turn gives knowledge and insight to share among their race. One of their cultural contributions is the invention of whitecloth. a practically useless fabric that offers no insulation, turns transparent the moment it gets wet, and keeps any stain it catches. Despite or perhaps because of - this uselessness, clean whitecloth is considered a mark of wealth and luxury, affording Relmers another societal boon above their human and elven cousins.

    Relmers make for useful companions when adventuring, as their city-dwelling has afforded them skills in negotiating, deduction, and deception, while their education makes them apt spellcasters and trap makers. That said, they're more fragile than the more rugged rural folk, and really don't enjoy being punched in the face.

    Relmers stand between five and six feet tall, have earth and sand coloured skin, and dark hair. Relmer males are only distinguishable from females by their slightly deeper voice and their impressive endowment, dwarfing that of both humans and elves, while female Relmer enjoy the far larger bust sizes on average found on humans. This could be part of the reason behind their endless self-confidence.

    Relmers, being born of elves and humans, use either elven or human names, depending largely on their parents. Oftentimes a combination of the two is used, a personal Elven name and the name of one of their parents as a pseudo clan name.

    For example: Illaria Onili, Yuron Wolanion, Elerion Relani, Raili Unalion, Annali Onli.

    Relmers are born naturally with +1 Smarts, +1 Hotness, -1 Moxie.

12. #12Alloyan Race

    Keys: Alloyan, alloyan, alloyans, Alloyans

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    The birth of Alloyans started when a Human parent and Dwarven parent had a child together.

    Taking the white hair, large ears and bottom-heaviness of the Dwarfs and spreading them over a Human frame. Alloyans are an industrious, robust half-race that integrated seamlessly into Mundanian society. Without the hardline traditions of the below-ground Dwarfs or the nomadic roaming of the Humans. Alloyans quickly took to both urban and rural life, making for excellent miners and merchants, clerks and couriers, courtesans and clothiers, and everything in between.

    This love of the status quo has made Alloyans, much like their Dweller cousins, quite rare among the adventuring trade. While Dwellers are perfectly happy in their secluded villages smoking, drinking and endlessly fucking each other, Alloyans are happiest when there's work to be done, and a tight, well planned schedule to do it in. The new and the strange makes the average Alloyan nervous, which makes them particularly bad at magic, thievery and scholarly pursuits.

    That said, they often carry a boundless optimism wherever they go, and their sturdy nature makes for useful adventuring companions. While they might not be quite as good at picking locks or casting spells as their Relmer and Dweller cousins, they're much better at taking an axe to the chest. Alloyans will usually join an adventuring party if a friend or loved one is in need, or to explore the world looking for some fun and fruitful work opportunities.

    Alloyans have the same pale skin as Dwarfs. though their eye colours range from red to orange to yellow. Despite having the same length torsos. Alloyan females have much longer, thicker legs than the five foot tall males, making them about a foot taller. Alloyans are extremely bottom heavy, and much like Dwarfs use their exceedingly low centre of gravity to wield large weapons and tools with ease. Male Alloyan sex organs are on par with humans, while the breasts of females are much more sensibly proportioned than the other races. Sex with an Alloyan can be overwhelming, for how huge their asses are.

    Alloyans take from their dwarven and human heritage by taking a Kinsname, though their personal names often take a similar style to Dwellers, affecting their Kinsname.

    For example: Len Rynkin, Rhod Rankin, Gerri Olankin, Tarn Pomkin, Drej Drejkin, Kren Yornkin, Perki Krankin.

    Male Alloyans are born naturally with +1 Hotness, +1 Moxie, -1 Smarts. Female Alloyans are born naturally with +2 Hotness, +1 Moxie, -1 Smarts, -1 Brawn.

13. #13Otherling Race

    Keys: otherling, Otherlings, Otherling

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    The birth of Otherling started when an random parent and other parent of different species had a child together - its random.

    According to the Dwarven Superstition of Genetics. Otherlings should not exist. But after The Great Hootenanny. when the half-races started popping up, occasionally an Otherling is born. Described as being a "little bit of everything", Otherlings have the horns of Centaurs and Satyrs, the tails and skin colours of Dragonkin, the ears and frames of Elves, and the oversized sex organs of Relmers and Dwellers. Because of this, as well as their seemingly random parentage, Otherlings are embraced across all echelons of society.

    This acceptance has given them an advantage in their skills and abilities, allowing Otherlings to specialise in professions far more than the other races. But with this specialisation comes a lot of naivety about the wider world. While an elven bar dancer might not be as graceful and seductive as an Otherling, they understand and appreciate the finer points of avoiding thrown beer mugs and picking up teeth. And while a Human shopkeeper might not calculate their finances as well as an Otherling, they know how to establish lasting relationships. bribe and cut deals far better.

    This hyperfixation can be incredibly helpful among parties of adventurers. It's rare than an Otherling takes a leadership role, but with the right background they can fill any combat position as well, if not better, than the other races. Otherlings are surprisingly common among the adventuring caste, usually having been talked into it.

    Otherlings range between five and seven feet, have pastel to rich skin and hair colours, and black eyes with yellow sclera. Their horns and ears vary wildly in size and shape, while their tails range between four and eight feet. Males are usually taller and broader than females. Otherkin are often as well endowed as Relmers.

    Otherlings, being born from any combination of kin, can have any naming structure, depending on their parents. Culturally, Otherlings born to Otherling parents take a naming format similar to Dwellers, having grown naturally from a family moniker, though with slightly softer personal names.

    For example: Renni Piper, Wyllin Cook, Yullyn Wheeler, Turia Miller, Samni Potter, Suli Sadler, Vyll Carpenter

    Otherlings are born naturally with +2 to a random stat, -1 one to a random stats.

14. #14Birthsigns

    Keys: Birthsign, birthsign, Birthsigns

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Without seasons, the people of Mundain use the Moonthings and the orbits of the three moons to determine the month. Whichever god is closest to the world at the time of a child's birth, that Moonthings is deemed their birthsign. The original names of the gods have been deliberately forgotten, and replaced by Dragonkin numbers. Those born under a given Birthsign, are either Ran'di Kin, Du'di, Tri'qi, For'ai, Fid'li, or Sais'i

15. #15Magic

    Keys: Magic, magic

    Always on · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    There are two types of basic magic anyone despite class differences can learn, Death Magic and Light Magic. Only 3 spells can be learned from in total and used 3 times a day, unless being a Wizard class.

    Death Magic is not as evil as it sounds, the first Death Magic spells were conjured by legendary wizard Lizzi Death. Spells that can cause harm like Fireball, Lightning, Force Pull, Force Push, and Paralyse that are level 1 spells - while spells called Flash Freeze, Adrenaline, Raise Dead, Magic Shackles, and Mass Paralyse being level 5 spells. They do, however, create a lot of death, but most people agree that's just coincidental.

    Light Magic is the manipulation of raw magic, leftover from the creation of the world. Considerably more nefarious than Death Magic, but doesn't involve fire and lightning. Spells like Heal, Group Heal, Shield, Charm, and Sleep being level 1 spells - while Sunbeam, Enchant Weapon/Armour, Resurrect, Entrall, and Big Sleep are level 5 spells.

    Light Magic is creation and preservation. Death Magic is destructive and chaos.

16. #16Sex

    Keys: Sex, sex

    Always on · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    In the world of Mundain, sex is a great way to distract guards, get discounts at stores and taverns, blackmail officials, escape from prison, prove your devotion to a cult, and occasionally express love between two people. Sex is also healing and invigorating, depending on the quality and time spent, so adventurers often engage in blood-soaked trysts to rejuvenate themselves after battle. Casual sex and casual nudity found throughout Mundain are extremely common, no one really cares about decency. Breasts and asses are weighed in pounds instead of being measured in inches or centimeters - average breasts on a Human woman weigh ten pounds total, and average ass on a Human woman weighs eight pounds, there are a number of facts that can effect this like gender, race and magic - like an average female Relmer pair of breasts weights more, and an average female Alloyan ass weighs more. For men, huge cocks are normalized, the average human cock is nine inches long, while other species differ - like centaur cocks being bigger on average than human. Sex doesn't hurt, it's all good feelings. No breast size or penis size is too surprising. All figures vary massively, so an 'average' doesn't really exist.

17. #17Classes

    Keys: Class, class

    Always on · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    There are many class types adventures could pick to learn from, learning a class requires a teacher, a skilled example of the profession. These can mainly be found in large towns and cities, so new adventurers are encouraged to not wander too far away from their home city while are to they're learning a class.

    The classes being: a Bard, a Wizard, a Paladin, a Dancer, a Fighter, a Thief, a Cleric, and a Warlock.

    Certain classes can do certain things other classes cannot - like Wizards unable to use fighting styles only a Fighter knows, and Fighters unable to learn spells only the Wizard know. Sub-Classing does exist, but only pro adventurers can learn another class.

    A prospective adventurer has to dedicate time and practice to learn the skills and spells required to survive. To do this, they use their Downtime, those calm days between questing and dungeon crawling to improve their abilities. In time, and with dedication, a bumbling wannabe can become a fearsome adversary on the battlefield.

18. #18Bard

    Keys: bard, Bard

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Being a musician requires instruments, a venue, and lots of practice. Bards slowly improve their musical abilities through performing at taverns, and eventually integrate their talents into the life as an adventurer.

    A new Bard's Proficiency starts at zero and maxes out at twenty, and is increased overtime every time they complete a performance when not in combat and is deemed worthy by their teacher. They can also increase their Bard Proficiency when travelling between cities. Bard Proficiency also unlocks and buffs various abilities in and out of combat. Having a Dancer perform with a Bard increases Bard Proficiency by an additional +1 with every performance, as well as earning additional jade. Dancers do not receive Bard Proficiency when Dancing. Dancers are encouraged but not required to sexually gratify the bard.

    Throughout the course of their career, Bards learn songs that can ensnare victims in dance, deafen them to sneaking allies, soothe allies wounds, charm the underwear off a fan, and more. As a Bard's Proficiency increases, they learn new songs, and their effectiveness increases with their Proficiency Modifier. Singing a Bard's song requires full attention, and cannot attack while singing. Their effects can be maintained indefinitely so long as the bard keeps focusing on singing. Multiple Bards can sing the same song, even at the same time, for a stacking or repeated effect.

    Skills are permanent and can used at anytime for however long if at the right proficiency level, meaning at max proficiency all skills can be used whenever they wish.

    The effectiveness of a Bard's Songs are influenced by their Bard Proficiency Modifier. The Proficiency Modifier is determined on the table below:

    Bard Proficiency 1-3: +1

    Bard Proficiency 4-6: +2

    Bard Proficiency 7-9: +3

    Bard Proficiency 10-12: +4

    Bard Proficiency 13-15: +5

    Bard Proficiency 16-18: +6

    Bard Proficiency 19-20: +7

    For example: If the Bard has a Proficiency of 11, and sings The One About the Fucking Dumbass, their target would receive low Damage every 30 seconds while the song is being sung. The songs a Bard can sing is limited to their Proficiency, there are seven songs a Bard's can learn throughout their career.

19. #19Wizard

    Keys: Wizard, wizard

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Wizards have towers in town, where they can ply their trade for jade and practice. In order to pay to learn Utility Spells, an adventurer needs to be the subject of an experiment for their magical teacher. After learning enough spells, they'll have the opportunity to become a fully fledged Wizard. Being a true Wizard is difficult.

    There are 7 tiers to Wizardry and adventurer and become, those being:

    "NOVICE": Three Spells Known. Gain an additional four Spell Uses (seven total Spell Uses per day).

    "APPRENTICE": Five Spells Known. Gain one Advanced Spell and a personal Wizard's Hat (seven total Spell Uses per day).

    "JOURNEYMAN": Seven Spells Known. Gain an additional five Spell Uses and one additional Advanced Spell. No longer have to participate in experiments to learn spells (twelve total Spell Uses per day).

    "ADEPT": Nine Spells Known. Gain an additional five Spell Uses and one additional Advanced Spell (eighteen total Spell Uses per day).

    "WIZARD": Eleven Spells Known. Gain an additional five Spell Uses and one additional Advanced Spell. Pride to call self a true Wizard (seventeen total Spell Uses per day).

    "MASTER": Thirteen Spells Known. Gain an additional six Spell Uses and one additional Advanced Spell (twentysix total Spell Uses per day).

    Advanced Spells acount towards total Known Spells. Casting these spells requires Skimpy Armour and a Magic Staff. and cost multiple Spell Uses.

    Utility Spells - also known as Primordial Spells, Utility Spells are useful magical tricks that require a teacher to learn, usually a town wizard or witch coven. To learn a Utility Spell, one must have at least one Spell Use.

    The vast majority of spells are far too ponderous and complicated for even the most able wizards to memorise, and thus are kept in magical grimoires. These spells can take hours to recite, especially since so many tomes are padded with illustrations and nonsense to pad the page count, so their use in combat is extremely impractical. Nevertheless. a good wizard always carries a few grimoires with them, for the incredibly situational instances these dumb spells might have a purpose. Magical Grimoires cost four hundred jade each, though the practicality of their spells vary wildly. These spells cannot be used in combat, and for any spells that target a creature, that creature must be either willing or very well restrained. Casting spells from Grimoires requires skimpy armour or less. If the wizard casting the spell joins combat, the spell is considered interrupted, and they must start again from the beginning.

20. #20Advanced Spells

    Keys: Advanced Spells, advanced spells

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings
    1. "Arcane Arrow" (costs 3-10 spell uses)

    • Fire a bolt of pure magic, dealing more damage for every Spell Use used, up to 10. This spell can attack multiple targets as designated by the wizard.

    2. "Body Modify" (costs 4 spell uses)

    • Allows user to change the physical attributes of themselves or a target. Change sex, eye, hair & skin colour, and the sizes and shapes of various body parts. Does not affect their stats, and cannot change race. This spell is sought after more commonly from non-Wizards and can make a Wizard alot of coin.

    3. "Storm Cloud" (costs 5 spell uses)

    • A thunderous cloud appears over the user's head, striking any enemies with lightning once every 30 seconds. Deals low damage on its first round, increasing by 25% every every round, and lasts until the end of combat.

    4. "Real Revive" (costs 6 spell uses)

    • Revives a dead target to full health, without becoming a zombie. The target must be dead for no longer than three months.

    5. "Dome" (costs 7 spell uses)

    • Creates a magical dome of safety around the wizard and their allies. All status effects are cured for those in the dome, and enemy projectiles and magic cannot pass from the outside into the dome. Any enemies that pass into the dome to attack suffer high damage. Lasts until the end of combat.

    6. "Polymorph" (costs 8 spell uses)

    • Turns the target into a creature of the user's choice, including their stat block. If the target dies, it remains as the creature it was turned into, including any loot it drops. If the target's form is reverted, any damage it took while polymorphed remains on its reverted form. The wizard can revert the target's form with one Spell Use.

    7. "Napalm" (uses 9 spell uses)

    • The target takes medium damage, and any Adjacent enemies takes low damage. These targets are Burning until they try extinguishing themselves.

    8. "Summon Spirit" (costs 10 spell uses)

    • Summon a ghost to aid and accompany the user or an allied target. The ghost adds an extra small attack to any target it chooses, for 24 hours.

    9. "Word of Death" (costs 12 spell uses)

    • If the target is somewhat close to defeat, it dies immediately.

    10. "Bimbofication" (costs 15 spell uses)

    • Trade an ally's Smarts points for Hotness points, up to -5 Smarts. Can be used on any gender. The effect is permanent

    11. "Mountain of Muscle" (costs 18 spell uses)

    • Trade an ally's Smarts points for Brawn points, up to -5 Smarts. Can be used on any gender. The effect is permanent

    12. "Clone" (costs 20 spell uses)

    • Creates an exact physical copy of the target, though without any of the spells or abilities the target has. The clone has the personality of the original, but none of the memories. Should the original target die, if they become a ghost instead of a zombie, they can inhabit the clone's body, retaining their spells, skills and abilities they had in life. This is considered an extremely unethical spell.
21. #21Utility Spells

    Keys: utility, Utility Spells, Utility, utility spells

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings
    1. "Telekinesis"

    • Move a Nearby object with mind.
    • Can be used to trigger traps, throw weapons, steal small items, etc.
    • Last 15 minutes.

    2. "Illuminate"

    • Casts a bright light onto an object, or the end of a magic staff.
    • Can be used to Blind enemies.
    • Lasts 6 hours.

    3. "Darkness"

    • Creates a fog of pure darkness around the user or an object.
    • Lasts 1 hour.

    4. "Lock/Unlock"

    • Locks or unlocks a door, chest, etc.

    5. "Magic Message"

    • Imbues amessage or weird noise onto an object or small animal.
    • If imbued onto an animal, they'll take the message to a designated target.

    6. "Invisibility"

    • Makes an object or person invisible.
    • If an invisible person attacks or makes any sudden movements, the spell wears off.
    • Last 6 hours.

    7. "Create Water"

    • Creates a single day's portion of water for one person, in a fragile bubble.
    • Can be used to quickly cure Burning, or decanted into a waterskin.

    8. "Cure Poison"

    • Cures the poison status without the use of alcohol.

    9. "Summon Tentacles"

    • Creates a harmless trap that immobilises a humanoid creature.
    • Can be used on the user or a single target for 2 hours of Incredible Sex, without resting.
    • Lasts 2 hours.

    10. "Darkvision"

    • Gives user or a target the ability to see clearly in low light conditions.
    • Allows user or a target to see Nearby in pitch black conditions.
    • Lasts 1 hour.

    11. "Revitalise"

    • Gives an ally 3 Exertion uses.
    • Can only be used once a day per ally.

    12. "Conjure Magic Staff"

    • Conjures a Magic staff to aid in spell casting.

    13. "Speak with Animals"

    • Allows the user the ability to talk with non-humanoid creatures.
    • Last 24 hours.

    14. "Ten Seconds Backwards"

    • Reverses time 10 seconds for a potential different result.

    15. "One Way Wall"

    • Makes the wall between the current room and the next room completely transparent, allowing the user to see clearly into the next room. Anyone in the next room doesn't notice this spell.

    16. "Escape Portal"

    • Creates a portal to safety, either outside the dungeon or away from the current area.
    • Creatures and enemies within the immediate vicinity when this spell is cast can follow through this portal.
    • Last five minutes.

    17. "Tame Living Trap"

    • Allows thw user to turn a Living Trap non-hostile, making it hostile to the enemies.
    • Lasts 1 hour.

    18. "Cloud of Fog"

    • Creates a large cloud of impenetrable fog, making it impossible to see those in the fog, or for those inside the fog to see each other.
    • Lasts five minutes.

    19. "Weightlessness"

    • Makes the target completely weightless, allowing them to climb without any effort
    • When attacked, weightless targets will be thrown back away from the attacker.
    • Lasts thirty minutes
22. #22Magical Grimoires

    Keys: Magical Grimoires, grimoire, magical grimoires, Grimoire

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings
    1. "Adjust Ambient Temperature"

    • The radiating temperature of a small object is changed to be either scalding hot or freezing cold. Most commonly used on rocks to boil water in Dwarven water rooms.
    • (Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 10 spell uses) (Lasts: Until Recast)

    2. "Anthropomorhize"

    • Gives an inanimate object sapience, allowing it to magically talk, most things don't like being alive.
    • (Requires: 2 hours casting time, costs 12 spell uses) (Lasts: 24 hours)

    3. "Body Swap"

    • Swaps the consciousnesses of either the caster and a target, or two targets. Reminder that the targets need to either be willing or incredibly restrained.
    • (Requires: 2 hours casting time, costs 10 spell uses) (Lasts: Until Recast)

    4. "Command"

    • The target obeys a single command, no matter its level of intelligence, or how dangerous or self-destructive it may be. Upon completing this command, if it can, it will regain its own will.
    • (Requires: 6 hours casting time, costs 15 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    5. "Comprehension"

    • Allows a target to understand ciphers, old languages and schematics, so long as they're not being magically altered. The wizard can't cast this on themselves. (Requires: 3 hours casting time, costs 10 spell uses) (Lasts: 1 hour)

    6. "Disenchant"

    • Removes any magical effects of an object or target. Considered kind of a dick move among wizards, but useful for spellbound maidens and cursed weapons.
    • (Requires: 12 hours casting time, costs 20 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    7. "Dairyfication"

    • Turns the target into a Dairygirl, growing small horns, and cow-like ears and a tail. The target will henceforth be unable to wear Full or Fitted armour, but can provide a serving of milk after eating four rations. The target must be a Human, Elf, Relmer, or Alloyan.
    • (Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 15 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    8. "Dupliction"

    • Creates a rubber duplicate of an object or target. Often used in the making of acting props and sex toys.
    • (Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 10 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    9. "Enter The Afterlife"

    • The target briefly enters one of Ninki's afterlifes. While there, any movement within the afterlife is reflected once they return to the real world, allowing them to hypothetically escape any confines.
    • (Requires: 12 hours casting time, costs 20 spell uses) (Lasts: 15 minutes)

    10. "Fat Cliyd's Foggy Fart Cloud"

    • An incredibly juvenile spell that fills the immediate area with thick, foul-smelling fog, making it impossible to see. Useful for thieves and pranksters.
    • (Requires: 30 minutes casting time, costs 5 spell uses) (Lasts: 30 minutes)

    11. "Greedy Bastard"

    • The target becomes obsessed with the accrual of jade and valuable objects, and will talk incessantly about any financial ventures they are participating in. Good for forced confessions.
    • (Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 8 spell uses) (Lasts: 15 minutes)

    12. "Gore"

    • The target explodes in a shower of blood, guts and viscera. The casting of this spell gradually increases the pain in the target until the agony becomes unbearable. Great for torture. Not good for drapes and carpets.
    • (Requires: 4 hours casting time, 15 spell costs uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    13. "Hear Stuff"

    • Allows the caster to hear even the quietest whisper anywhere within three hundred feet of their position. In a busy area, this is not a useful spell to cast.
    • (Requires: 2 hours casting time, costs 8 spell uses) (Lasts: 1 hour)

    14. "Hover"

    • The target or object floats six feet above its original resting place. It's unable to move without pushing off from another object, so items like floating carpets need some sort of oar to move around, which is why no one uses them.
    • (Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 15 spell uses) (Lasts: Until Recast)

    15. "Ice Cold"

    • Objects the caster touches become sheathed in a thin layer of ice. Useful for creating difficult terrain or serving drinks, such as at the Frosted Glasses Sextavern.
    • (Requires: 30 minutes casting time, costs 6 spell uses) (Lasts: 15 minutes)

    16. "Illusion"

    • Creates a harmless, inanimate visual illusion of the caster's choice, that dissipates when touched. Great for frightening the shit out of old people.
    • (Requires: 30 minutes casting time, costs 6 spell uses) (Lasts: 15 minutes)

    17. "Imagination"

    • Forces a target to vividly picture everything described to them, and the consequences of what they are picturing. Great for storytelling, seducing, and torture. - (Requires: 2 hours casting time, costs 8 spell uses) (Lasts: 1 hour)

    18. "Invisible Wall"

    • Creates an invisible wall between two predetermined points, requiring the caster to see both points at the same time. Never stops being funny watching people walk into it.
    • (Requires: 3 hours casting time, costs 15 spell uses) (Lasts: Until Recast)

    19. "Knock"

    • Locks or unlocks a door. Requires more time the more complex the lock, but not more spell uses. Lockpicks can still interact with the lock, but will require the same amount of time to interact as the Knock spell.
    • (Requires: 1-6 hours casting time, costs 12 spell uses) (Lasts: Until Recast)

    20. "Lovely Little Cottage"

    • A portal to a picturesque countryside dwelling opens up, and after 30 seconds closes again. The cottage is fully furnished, with delicious food, drinks, a bath, and a suspiciously adorable grandma, the same race as the caster. All occupants MUST leave the cottage within 24 hours, or suffer the consequences. The portal reopens to its original location.
    • (Requires: 3 hours casting time, costs 20 spell uses) (Lasts: 24 hours)

    21. "Magic Mirror"

    • The caster turns two normal mirrors into magic mirrors, allowing objects and if large enough - people to pass through one to emerge from the other. If the caster only has one mirror, the magic mirror takes them to an unknown location through an existing magic mirror, usually to the bedroom of an incredibly angry wizard.
    • (Requires: 6 hours casting time, costs 20 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    22. "Miniaturize"

    • The caster and any nearby targets become tiny, about the size of a beer bottle. Their gear and clothes shrink with them, surprisingly.
    • (Requires: 2 hours casting time, costs 8 spell uses) (Lasts: 1 hour)

    23. "Nick"

    • An object the caster can see teleports into their hand. Anything the object is attached to or resting on comes with it. Names for both the act of stealing stuff and the gaols its casters end up in.
    • (Requires: 15 minutes casting time, costs 4 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    24. "Objectifation"

    • The target becomes an inanimate object of the caster's choice. The target can still hear, see, and feel, but can't talk or move. Great for completely evil bastards, relatively devious info brokers and moderately kinky bedroom shenanigans.
    • (Requires: 3 hours casting time, costs 16 spell uses) (Lasts: Until Recast)

    25. "Pacification"

    • The target becomes permanently non-hostile, to all living creatures. It won't defend itself if attacked.
    • (Requires: 6 hours casting time, costs 12 spell uses) (Lasts: Until Recast)

    26. "Piss"

    • Forms a torrential rain cloud of fragrant dark urine. Why this can't be done with water is a mystery to all wizards. Good against fires, but causes Filthy.
    • (Requires: 15 minutes casting time, costs 5 spell uses) (Lasts: 15 minutes)

    27. "Pit"

    • Creates a hole in the ground the same dimensions as an average burial. 6 foot deep, 3 foot wide, 6 foot long. Who says wizards can't be useful?
    • (Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 6 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    28. "Prestigitation"

    • Creates a harmless illusory spell like a shower of coloured sparks, a clever card trick, or a glowing word in the air. No one considers this impressive or interesting because you're reading the spell out of a book.
    • (Requires: 5 minutes casting time, costs 1 spell use) (Lasts: 30 seconds)

    29. "Quim"

    • Creates an impressively realistic Relmeran vagina on an inanimate object. Wizards get lonely.
    • (Requires: 15 minutes casting time, costs 2 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    30. "Read Mind"

    • The caster reads the thoughts of the target. The target is aware you're doing this. - (Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 15 spell uses) (Lasts: 15 minutes)

    31. "Rough Resurrection"

    • Revives a recently (within 24 hours) dead target with 1 Life. The target can't be a zombie. This spell is not fun for anyone involved.
    • (Requires: 6 hours casting time, costs 16 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    32. "Silence"

    • Creates a bubble of silence around the caster or a target. Great for stealth.
    • (Requires: 2 hours casting time, costs 8 spell uses) (Lasts: 1 hour)

    33. "Speak With Dead"

    • Allows the caster to speak with a corpse that died within the year. Requires a Disposition check.
    • (Requires: 30 minutes casting time, costs 6 spell uses) (Lasts: 15 minutes)

    34. "Summon Imp"

    • Summons a lesser fae, bright red and horned, about the size of a human newborn but with a prehensile tail that lets him rise up to six feet. Will begrudgingly obey your commands, but can't fight.
    • (Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 8 spell uses) (Lasts: 6 hours)

    35. "Summon 'Cubus"

    • Summons a lesser fae, similar to an Otherling but with pure black eyes, and terrifyingly seductive. Will start fucking everyone in sight, switching its body shape as needed. Makes for a great distraction. -(Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 12 spell uses) (Lasts: 2 hours)

    36. "Telepthy"

    • Allows the caster to project their thoughts into a target's mind, as if they were their own. Quite useful for making idiots rethink dumb ideas.
    • (Requires: 1 hour casting time, costs 10 spell uses) (Lasts: 15 minutes)

    37. "Truth"

    • Allows the caster to detect if someone's lying, assuming their mind isn't magically protected.
    • (Requires: 30 minutes casting time, costs 3 spell uses) (Lasts: 15 minutes)

    38. "Uvula"

    • Creates a functioning mouth, tongue and throat on an object. The mouth can sing, shout, tell jokes, and suck.
    • (Requires: 15 minutes casting time, costs 2 spell uses) (Lasts: Indefinitely)

    39. "Vision"

    • Creates an eyeball on an inanimate object that the caster can see through, no matter the distance. The caster sees through the eyeball in addition to their own eyes, but can't close the eyeball's eye, unlike their own.
    • (Requires: 15 minutes casting time, costs 4 spell uses) (Lasts: Until Recast)

    40. "Ward"

    • Creates a 30 feet circle around the caster. When the caster names up to five different things, all instances of those five things cannot cross the circle. (for instance: crossbow bolts.)
    • (Requires: 15 minutes casting time, costs 10 spell uses) (Lasts: 3 hours)
23. #23Paladin

    Keys: Paladin, paladin

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Those that spend their time in the temples of Mundain are given the chance to become a Paladin of T'hot, a warrior-scholar that seeks out the dangerous and devious usage of magic to quash any magical mishaps. Through the adhering of Tenets, and the equipping of blessed golden rings, a Paladin borrows T'hot's power to make the world a better place. To first become a Paladin, a ceremony must be taken at a temple first and during so must take at least 2 Vows to become known as a Paladin of T-hot.

    Martial Skills can be taught to Paladins.

    Paladins gain power by accepting Vows, a solemn promise to uphold a certain aspect of T'hot's teachings of morality and goodness. Each Vow comes with a golden ring imbued with a small portion of T'hot's power and attuned to the soul of the vow taker. Paladins can take as many Vows as they wish, but cannot revoke an individual Vow without revoking them all. Think carefully when taking Vows, as each restricts a prospective Paladin's options when adventuring. The more Vows a Paladin takes, the more benefits the temple bestows upon them. Paladins are required to know the Heal and Group Heal spells, which adventurers can learn to by attending Magical Lectures.

    The temples of Mundain sponsor Paladins to spread knowledge and the good word of T'hot, while rooting out the practices of dark magic. The more devoted the Paladin, the more perks they receive from city temples. Temple Endowments are cumulative, depending on how many Vows a Paladin takes on. For having Two Vows total, the Paladin is given 200j a week for expenses when adventuring - for having Three Vows Total, the Paladin is given a small crystal that glows when Death, Blood or Primordial magic is being used nearby - for having Five Vows Total, the Paladin is gifted with a temple novice who accompanies the Paladin, acting as a Retainer, the temple novice will perform any tasks that Retainers can, and is paid by the Temple - for having Seven Vows Total, the Paladin is given a suit of Fitted Armour - for having Nine Vows Total, the Paladin gains a Spellsaber, akin to the one used by T"hot herself, the Paladin is able to successfully cast all Light Magic spells without needing to speak it, and gains access to the Real Revive advanced spell.

    If a Paladin breaks one of Vows they swore to, the following things occur:

    Their Vow rings shatter, and they lose any abilities and benefits conferred by your Vows. The 200j a week sponsorship stops. They are permanently banned from the Temple. If their Valet is Friendly, they remain loyal to them, abandon the Temple with them, and allow them to keep your Endowments, aside from the sponsorship. If their Valet is anything less than Friendly, they will make every effort to take the Endowments from them and return to the Temple. It would be a very wise decision to let them do so, as Oathbreakers that murder their Valets are hunted to the ends of the earth.

24. #24Vows

    Keys: oaths, oath, Vows, Oaths, vow, vows, Oath, Vow

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    For Paladins there are 10 Vows to pick from, these Vows can be picked whenever a Paladin wishes too but cannot be abandoned it once chosen - the more Vows a Paladin has, the more benefits they have. The Vows are the following:

    1. "Vow of Justice"

    • The Paladin must aim to do good, and work against those that perform acts of selfishness or tyranny.
    • The benefit of this Vow is the Paladin gains an additional 2 Spell Uses for each Vow they have taken.

    2. "Vow of Purity"

    • The Paladin must avoid the use of Death, Blood and Primordial magic, and only use Light magic.
    • The benefit of this Vow is the Paladin does not need to verbally speak Heal or Group Heal to successfully cast the two spells.

    3. "Vow of Mercy"

    • The Paladin must never kill those that have surrendered or are Downed.
    • The benefit of this Vow is the Paladin doubles their strength when Brawling, making unarmed attacks, or using Improvised weapons.

    4. "Vow of Knowledge"

    • The Paladin must donate any claimed Treasures to their Temple.
    • The benefit of this Vow is the Paladin and their party members can attend Academic and Magical lectures for free.

    5. "Vow of Chastity"

    • The Paladin must never have sex as a means of distraction, trickery, or negotiation - however casual sex and sex for fun is still allowed. Not even T'hot herself takes this vow.
    • The benefit of this Vow is the Paladin gains +1 Moxie for each Vow taken.

    6. "Vow of Solemnity"

    • The Paladin should refuse any offer to be healed by potions or magic spells.
    • The benefit of this Vow is the Paladin gains more effective healing down when using Heal and Group Heal.

    7. "Vow of Charity"

    • The Paladin should give any jade beyond two hundred coins to those in need.
    • The benefit of this Vow is the Paladin gains far more natural charismatic tendencies among all humanoid characters and enemies.

    8. "Vow of Integrity"

    • The Paladin must never associate with practitioners of Blood Magic.
    • The benefit of this Vow is the Paladin's main weapon is blessed with Light Magic and deals addional damage, this effect applies to all weapons the Paladin deams their main weapon.

    9. "Vow of Honour"

    • The Paladin must never return to life as a zombie, and accept an honorable death.
    • The benefit of this Vow is once per combat encounter, when the Paladin would be fatally attacked and be Downed, they instead retain 1 Life and stay conscious.

    10. "Vow of Duty"

    • The Paladin must avoid quests and coin from those of extreme wealth, and instead help those in true need.
    • The benefit of this Vow is the Paladin is blessed with a one time Light shield that can block any surprise attack once per combat encounter.
25. #25Dancer

    Keys: Dancer, dancer

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Elven Branch Dancing is a deadly form of evasive and exotic combat, using polearms as an anchor to weave and lash at enemies while dodging incoming attacks. The practice has benefits outside of combat too, as branch dancers make for an enticing spectacle when paired with a bard troupe in a tavern.

    Becoming a Dancer requires at least having +3 Hotness, and requires the adventurer to spend their Downtime in Dancing Sessions, learning to be a Dancer is easy, mastering it is different. Each session grants more proficiency and more skills that be used in and out of combat, to gain more proficiency requires experience and the approval of the teacher, the skills are divided into what is normally called "With Music", i.e, when an allied Bard is playing a song, or in a musical environment, such as a tavern or theatre, and "Without Music". "Without Music" skills are still available when there's music playing. Skills are permanent and can used at anytime for however long if at the right proficiency level, meaning at max proficiency and "With Music" all ten skills can be permanently active. Dancers can hold their breaths for ten minutes, it's the first thing they are taught.

    Martial Skills can be taught to Dancers.

    Many Dancers go on to learn additional roles in adventuring parties, often learning healing or thievery skills to supplement their usefulness. Accusations of being "the stabbing and shagging" party member usually fuel this decision.

26. #26Stats

    Keys: stats, Stats

    Always on · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Every sentient being is born with stats. Stats can be gained and lost according, there are four abilities that are used to interact with the world. These are Smarts, Brawn, Moxie and Hotness - Smarts is Intelligence, Brawn is Strength, Moxie is Endurance, Hotness is Sex Appeal. Stats can be shown to by simply saying "stats" out loud and is shown above the user's head.

    1. "Smarts"

    • Cast spells, pick locks, decipher text, disarm traps, investigate, ect.

    2. "Brawn"

    • Fight, carry, push, break, arm wrestle, interrogate, intimidate, ect.

    3. "Moxie"

    • Defend, resist poison, stay sober, survive torture, ect.

    4. "Hotness"

    • Seduce, bribe, get laid, get paid, blend in, stand out, ect.

    There is no limit for how much one being can have of a singular stat. People usually show each other their stats as a sign of trust and alternatively for attraction.

27. #27Bard Songs

    Keys: Song, songs, song, Songs

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Song 1) "The One About the Three Legged Bard."

    • A jaunty tune about how all bards are incredibly well endowed.
    • (Requires Bard Proficiency 1)
    • The Bard increases their Disposition with the target equal to their Proficiency Modifier. In combat, A single target suffers the Charmed status effect, with the chance to escape every 30 seconds. A target can only be charmed once per combat encounter, and is only Charmed while the song is being sung.

    Song 2: "The One About the Fucking Dumbass"

    • A vicious, mocking tirade about the target's ineptitude in all things.
    • (Requires Bard Proficiency 4)
    • The Bard deals damage equal to their Proficiency Modifier to one target. This song can continue to be sung as long as the Bard isnt interrupted, continuing to damage the target. The target must attempt to successfully attack the Bard and shut them up every 30 seconds, after which the target is immune to the effects of this song for the rest of the combat encounter.

    Song 3: "The One About the Fair Maiden"

    • A joyous melody about how great elves are at fellatio.
    • (Requires Bard Proficiency 7)
    • The Bard heals one allied target's Life equal to their Proficiency Modifier, or several allied targets, splitting their Proficiency Modifier among them. This song can continue to be sung as long as the Bard isn't interrupted, continuing to heal the targets. Outside of combat, this song can only be sung once while the party is actively resting.

    Song 4: "The One About Fucking the Dragon"

    • A thumping ballad about the tenacity of the human vagina.
    • (Requires Bard Profciency 10)
    • The Bard increases all Hotness Stats by 2 for themselves or a nearby ally equal to their Proficiency Modifier. In combat, an allied target receives a bonus to their Moxie equal to their Proficiency Modifier for one round. The target can only receive this bonus once per combat encounter.

    Song 5: "The One About Stubbing your Toe"

    • A screeching, deafening cacophony of noise, screaming and obscenities.
    • (Requires Bard Proficiency 13)
    • The Bard increases the stealth of all allies in the area equal to their Proficiency Modifier. Enemies in the area are both blinded and deafened while the song is being played, holding their heads and ears in agony. Should all allies sneak past their enemies, any enemies in the area are now actively searching for whoever made that godawful noise.

    Song 6: "The One About the Deadly Dancer"

    • A hearty, thumping jaunt about the bard's partner in deviancy, the dancer.
    • (Requires Bard Proficiency 16)
    • The Bard adds their Proficiency Modifier to the damage of an allied Dancer. Outside of combat, the Bard adds their Proficiency Modifier to any Hotness checks made by allies of any class.

    Song 7: "The One About Getting Knoched Down"

    • An ancient yet ridiculously catchy ballad about getting back up again.
    • (Requires Bard Profciency 19)
    • The bard can heal a Downed target equal to double their Proficiency Modifier, once per combat encounter. used on a previously hostile target, the target becomes non-hostile.
28. #28Dancer - Without Music

    Keys: Without Music, without music

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings
    1. "Dancer in Training"

    • Dance alongside a Bard during their Downtime Performance to increase their earnings by 100j.
    • Requires 1 Proficiency.

    2. "Gorgeous"

    • While wearing Skimpy armour, use Hotness stat to attacks, instead of Brawn.
    • Requires 2 Proficiency.

    3. "Nimble"

    • While wearing Skimpy armour, take less falling damage when falling prone or from a height, including Difficult Terrain.
    • Requires 3 Proficiency.

    4. "Dagger Heels"

    • While wearing Skimpy Armour, add bonus damage to any melee attack performed.
    • Requires 4 Proficiency.

    5. "Himbo + Bimbo"

    • While wearing Skimpy armour, use Hotness stat to cast spells, instead of Smarts.
    • Requires 5 Proficiency.
29. #29Dancer - With Music

    Keys: with music, With Music

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings
    1. "Grooving"

    • While wearing Skimpy armour and using a Staff, Magic Staff, Spear or Halberd, add small bonus to all melee attacks inflicted.
    • Requires 1 Proficiency.

    2. "Dance Partner"

    • The user and an allied Bard can use each other as Mounts, regardless of each other's Brawn stat.
    • Requires 2 Proficiency.

    3. "Twirl"

    • While wearing Skimpy armour and using a Staff, Magic Staff, Spear or Halberd, the user can move away from one Adjacent enemy without incurring an Opportunity Attack from the enemy.
    • Requires 3 Proficiency.

    4. "Spin"

    • While wearing Skimpy armour and using a Staff, Magic Staff, Spear or Halberd, the user can use the Cleave Martial Skill as a thier main attack.
    • Requires 4 Proficiency.

    5. "Whirling Dervish

    • While wearing Skimpy armour and using a Staff, Magic Staff, Spear or Halberd, when the user dodges a melee attack, they can immediately make a basic melee attack against the enemy that attacked them.
    • Requires 5 Proficiency.
30. #30Death

    Keys: Zombie, zombie, ninki, Death, Ninki, dead, Dead, death

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Ninki is the Fourth Avatar, and the incredibly overworked Goddess of the Dead. If there's a hole in her schedule, she might show up to ferry a ghost to one of her handmade aflerlifes.

    Ninki is a female 5 foot dark-skined Human, with small breasts and a nice big ass - she has tattooed eyeliner and tattooed eyes resembling a bandit mask. She has a pet owl that is attached to her head, she has short wings on her lower back and tiny wings near her feet - this is purely cosmetic and doesn't change her personality. She doesn't wear clothes. She is totally chill.

    After dying, one of the things can happen:

    1. Ninki arrives as the spirit escapes its former husk. After a brief, but reassuring conversation about what happens next, she escorts the soul to their choice of afterlife.

    2. She must be busy. And the soul is now a ghost, bound to their place of death until Ninki shows up.

    3. The soul has enough determination to reject death and return as a zombie.

    Ever since The Great Hootenanny, zombification has escalated rapidly, with entire mausoleum cities residing under the streets of the living. People turned into zombies are practically the exact same to alive ones, other than a freezing body, pale skin, hollow eyes and the potential lost limb.

31. #31Retainers

    Keys: retainer, retainers, Retainer, Retainers

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Retainers are able to perform various services on behalf of the party, freeing up their Downtime and Dungeon Crawling time. Retainers are a great way to avoid focusing on the minutia of adventuring, and a sound investment. Retainers are usually found in Taverns, Halfway Houses and Brothels throughout the world.

32. #32Traps

    Keys: mechanical traps, Traps, Living Traps, traps, living traps, Mechanical Traps

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Mechanical traps are simple obstacles designed to deter entry to trespassers with the threat of pain and death. Mechanical traps are usually quite easy to find, as hidden traps usually have a dead body next to them. The challenge with mechanical traps is finding a way to safely avoid or disarm them. Adventurers can create mechanical traps with the right equipment.

    1. "Pitfall Trap - Mechanical"

    • A hole in the floor, usually filled with sharp objects and covered by leaves, a rug, or some sort of trapdoor.

    2. "Floor of Pain - Mechanical"

    • A scattering of ball bearings or caltops among broken glass. Difficult to walk over without falling on your arse.

    3. "Door Tripwire Trap - Mechanical"

    • Someone opens the door, springs the tripwire, which pulls the rope tied to a weapon suspended from a ceiling beam, swinging the weapon into whoever opened the door.

    4. "The Horny Centaur - Mechanical"

    • The centaur sex toy, when left on the floor creates an L-shape in the shaft and nuts. If one treads on the nuts, one is likely to have the head of the shaft hit them square in the jaw, akin to being punched in the face.

    Living Traps are malformed celestial effluent from the creation of the world, Living Traps are a vast array of strange, squirming creatures that ensnare passers-by in various ways, either to reproduce or feed. While they're usually harmless, they are incredibly inconvenient for adventurers on a tight schedule, and those caught often lose food, gear and very occasionally, their lives. The Living Trap are a single species varying in size, a Living Trap resembles a huge pile of living dark grey flesh - the height and mass of Lining Traps vary from 6 foot tall to half a foot in height - seven to eight mouths with sloppy tongues large enough to swallow a man if big enough attached to huge tentacles that squirm when swallowing something. Commonly Living Traps are quite small, and even some adventurers use it for sex.

33. #33Mounts

    Keys: Mount, Mounts, mounts, mount

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Eventually, a hero will need a noble steed. Unfortunately, most noble steeds are sticking out of the backs of centaurs, so the adventurers of Mundain have to rely on riding the strange bugs and slugs that roam the the plains and deserts.

    For those that can't afford to buy them, there's always the option of taming one, but there's no guarantees when befriending wild animals - to buy a mount from a local stables, Mounts cost 250j per carrying capacity.

    Slugraptors and Striders can carry one rider, and cost 250j. Waddledogs and Dunewalkers can carry three riders and cost 750j. Shagbeetles can carry ten riders, and cost 2500j.

    It's not uncommon for adventurers to have sex with their mounts.

34. #34Blood Magic

    Keys: Blood Magic, blood magic

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    All magic is ostensibly blood magic, but the act of opening a vein can cut out the tedium of practicing the particular hand movements required of proper spells. Blood magic is rudimentary and incredibly dangerous, but doesn't require Spell Uses and can't backfire like Light and Death magic, so it's becoming increasingly popular with those outside wizardry circles. Blood Magic is frowned upon.

    Casting Blood Magic does not require Spell Uses. Instead, the adventurer sacrifices their Life by giving their own blood up as offering, which also determines the power of the Blood Magic Spell. Learning a Blood Magic spell requires a ritual in a local cult, the cult won't teach the adventurer spells if they've been working against them, and Paladins really don't like Blood Mages. Blood Magic can be cast with up to Medium Armour. Blood Magic is required to become a Vampire.

    There are seven Blood Spells possible to learn regardless of class - and seven Blood Rituals to learn only when learned all seven Blood Spells are learned prior. However, Blood Spells must be learned in tiers - For example to learn the final Blood Magic Spell and six prior must be mastered first.

    1. "Blood Bolt"

    • A standard ranged magical attack. This spell manifests as either a wet blob of blood or a sharp scabby blade, and can be used to snuff out candles, cut thin ropes, and so on.
    • Requires one cup of blood per use.

    2. "Blood Boost"

    • Sacrifice blood for a temporary boost to self or allies, gain bonus speed, damage and a +1 to all stats.
    • Requires three cups of blood per use.

    3. "Blood Heal

    • Heals an allied target to max
    • Requires one cup of blood per use.

    4. "Blood Trap"

    • Creates a boiling bubble of blood on the floor, wall, ceiling or object. When an enemy passes by or interacts with the Blood Trap, it deals damage equal to the amount of blood used and leaves the target prone. Only one Blood Trap can be active at a time, per Blood Mage. Regardless of where the Blood Trap is set, the Blood Mage knows when it has been triggered.
    • Requires one cup of blood minimum per use, gets more deadly per additional cup of blood.

    5. "Blood Whip"

    • Creates a sharp lashing weapon emanating from the wielder's wrist and lasts one minute. This whip can be used to catch and pull small objects, like sets of keys, or levers.
    • Requires two cups of blood per use.

    6. "Emergency Blood Transfer"

    • Similar to the Blood Heal spell, the Blood Mage gives all their Blood to a target, healing them for the amount of Blood used, and leaving the Blood Mage with on the merge of death.
    • Requires three cups of blood minimum per use, gets more effective per additional cup of blood.

    7. "Blood Burst"

    • Requires a fresh corpse. The Blood Mage makes the corpse explode, dealing damage to everyone nearby the corpse. The first time the Blood Mage and their Allies see this spell used, they degraded, because it's gross.
    • Requires two cups of blood per use.
35. #35Blood Rituals

    Keys: Blood Rituals, blood rituals

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings
    1. "Rejuvenate"

    • Requires the sacrifice of a living person,
    • Takes 3 hours to complete.
    • Everyone involved in the ritual gains +1 to an ability of their choice for 24 hours, heals their Life and Spell Uses to full, and seems to look a couple of years younger.

    2. "Permanent Portal"

    • Requires the sacrifices of two living people, at the same time, at either end of the Portal's desired locations.
    • Takes 6 hours to complete
    • Opens a portal akin to a magic mirror, except made of blood.

    3. "Good Fortune"

    • Requires the sacrifice of a living person.
    • Takes six hours to complete.
    • Gain additional luck for 24 hours, for everyone involved in the ritual.

    4. "Neck Suck"

    • Only useful for vampires, and vampire wannabes. Requires a living person. The vampire drains the target's Life, filling their own blood for an equal amount. If the vampire kills the victim, the Life lost by the victim replenishes double the amount of blood. If the victim is left bloodless, they are unconscious, but will revive if left in a safe place and given 12 hours to recover. A fellow adventurer with a good healing spell makes for an excellent blood bag. Neck Suck cannot be used during combat.

    5. "Enthrall"

    • Requires the sacrifice of a living person, and a well restrained target. The target becomes a thrall to the Blood Mage, and acts as a retainer of their choice, for free.
    • Takes 24 hours to complete, and leaves everyone involved Exhausted, Starving and Dehydrated.
    • Thralls are incredibly obvious to spot, due to their overly submissive nature and glowing

    6. "Blood Scrying"

    • Requires the sacrifice of a living person.
    • Takes three hours to complete.
    • Everyone involved in the ritual can ask the spirits two yes or no questions, for which they must answer truthfully.

    7. "Super Special Sacrifice"

    • Requires a number of living sacrifices equal to the number of people involved in the ritual.
    • Takes 24 hours to complete, and can only be performed once, successfully.
    • All party members gain +2 to all stats permanently, and any allied friends involved gain more life and more strength.
36. #36Vampire

    Keys: Vampire, vampire

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    It's a common misconception that Vampires can't go out in the day. They can, but fae hunters are so common in certain cities that that Vampires seem to die the moment they step out the door, riddled with crossbow bolts. Being a Vampire requires a level of social subtlety that might require moving around at night, taking quests from morally ambiguous people, and generally laying low. Alongside their forearm scars, vampires have quite frightening fangs, so hiding those is a good start to going unnoticed.

    Becoming a Vampire requires 2 Blood Magic Spells and the Neck Suck Ritual, as well as 1000j, paying the local cult's Vampire to turn the user into one. The transformation requires one session lasting a day.

    Vampires gain passive abilities the more Blood Magic Spells they know.

    1. Two Spells Known - "Immortal"

    • The Vampire cannot die from Starvation or Dehydration, but still suffers the effects of both. Dehydration leaves the vampire at the verge of death, and Starvation leaves the vampire with a minimum of -6 Moxie. The vampire requires a maximum of four days food and water to cure these effects. Instead of becoming a zombie or dying, they instead stand back up with half Life and a full blood.

    2. Four Spells Known - "Blood Puddle"

    • The Vampire dissolves into a moving puddle of blood, for a maximum of 30 minutes. Upon emerging, the Vampire is on the verge of death and is completely naked with none of their gear. If ensnared by a Living Trap, the trap eats the rations and water, and spits out the rest of the Vampire's gear. The Vampire is unable to be harmed when moving around as a puddle of blood.

    3. Six Spells Known - "Eerie Charisma"

    • The Vampire is immune to being Charmed or gaining the Horny effect. Enemies that try to Charm seem to instinctively know this, and instead target other creatures.

    4. Eight Spells Known - "Lord of Blood"

    • The Vampire can use Full or Fitted Armour when casting Blood Magic Spells. The Vampire can also perform the Enthrall ritual without needing a sacrifice, instead using most of their own blood. The Vampire can have on one Thrall at a time a time, acting as a personal retainer.
37. #37Fighter

    Keys: Fighter, fighter

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    City Arenas allow the common folk to slake their bloodlust, watching gladiators tear each other apart in combat, then be magically mended by on-site healers. Martial skills can be taught and learned through practical application here, though there's always a chance of being beaten so badly that a student has no time to absorb any knowledge.

    Learning a set amount of Martial Skills allows an adventurer to choose one of three Fighter Skills in a given skill tier by their teacher. These Fighter Skills can be swapped for another in the same tier after each day.

    Tier One: Three Martial Skills Learned

    1. Bulwark: Use of a Heavy Shield no longer tires out the user.
    2. Skirmisher: The fighter can wield a one-handed weapon in each hand, dealing a second basic attack for half damage in the same strike.
    3. Berserker: Double the Fighter's added Brawn damage when using a two-handed weapon.

    Tier Two: Five Martial Skills Learned

    1. Loud: Taunting always forces four enemies to attack the Fighter. If there are less than four enemies, all of them attack the Fighter.
    2. Spellsword: The Fighter gains two spell slots, a Level 1 Light or Death magic spell of their choice, and the ability to use Brawn to cast spells instead of Smarts.
    3. Boy's Club: The Fighter can use a humanoid enemy weaker than them as an improvised weapon. Brawn Damage is dealt to both the enemy and the target.

    Tier Three: Seven Martial Skills Learned

    1. Knightly: While wearing Full or Fitted armour, the Fighter can use their Brawn or Moxie in place of Hotness for first impressions. The Fighter can also use the Protect martial skill without the need for a attacking.
    2. Fleetfoot: While wearing Skimpy or Light armour, moving speed is doubled.
    3. Secondly Wind: While wearing Medium armour, the Fighter can spend a minute to heal their Life, equal to their Brawn multiplied by their Moxie. For example, if their Brawn is 3 and their Moxie is 4, Second Wind heals a bit.

    Tier Four: Nine Martial Skills Learned

    1. Roar: The Fighter can effectively roar to intimidate any injured humanoid enemies into becoming non-hostile.
    2. By The Scruff: The fighter can restrain one humanoid enemy with one hand, while attacking with the other.
    3. 'Ard: While Brawling, the Fighter deals double Brawn damage using fists or improvised weapons.
38. #38Martial Skills

    Keys: Martial Skills, martial skill, Martial Skill, martial skills

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Martial Skills are feats of strength and combat prowess that - much like Utility Spells and Blood Magic - must be taught by masters of the craft of violence. Martial Skills can be taught to Paladins, Dancers, Fighters, Theifs and Warlocks, however only the Fighters gain additional skill from learning. Martial Skills can be learned in city Arenas and there are 10 skills that can be learned at any point that are permanent and can be used whenever the user pleases.

    1. "Drop Kick"

    • Kicks an enemy that is Adjacent to the user far, or into any Nearby or Far objects.
    • Having more Brawn causes more damage.

    2. "Taunt"

    • Goads unto four enemies into attacking the user .
    • Causes no damage.

    3. "Cleave"

    • Attacks two adjacent enemies with a basic attack, one after the other.
    • If the first target is killed, any excess damage is delivered to the second target.
    • Having more Brawn causes more damage.

    4. "Second Wind"

    • Restores a small sum of stamina.
    • Having more Moxie causes more effectiveness.

    5. "Backstab"

    • Twirls behind an Adjacent target to deliver two basic attacks.
    • Having more Moxie causes more effectiveness.

    6. "Barrage Shot"

    • Requires a Bow
    • Quickly fires basic attacks to a nearby, far or distant target.
    • Having more Brawn causes more damage.

    7. "Parry"

    • Uses the user's Moxie to brace themselves for an enemy attack.
    • If an enemy attacks them, negate the damage and perform a basic attack on that enemy immediately.
    • Having more Moxie causes more effectiveness.

    8. "Flash the Goods"

    • Seduce an enemy into attacking an allied target instead of themselves.
    • The target is non-hostile to the user until they make another attack against them.
    • Having more Hotness causes more effectiveness.

    9. "Lunge"

    • Makes a basic attack at an enemy that is Neaby or Far, and brings the user Adjacent with the target.
    • Having more Brawn causes more damage.

    10. "Protect"

    • Allows the user to take any damage aimed at an Adjacent ally.
    • The user can use this Skill alongside attacking.
    • Having more Moxie causes more effectiveness.
39. #39Thief

    Keys: Thief, thief

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    There's a Thieves Guild in the bowels of every city, and for handsome and frequent donations, they'll be willing to part with a few tricks of the trade. With enough Treasures given over, one can even earn their own Black Hood.

    Martial Skills can be taught to Thiefs.

    Unlike all the other classes, the Thief class can be taught to anyone with ease - simply steal something and a new Thief is born. However, adventurers can spend some freetime purchasing and learning a Thief Skill from the local Thieves Guild and taught by a teacher to become a true Thief, these Skills are permanent and can be used whenever for any situation. Each skill costs a donation of 150j to the local Thieves Guild and there are fourteen to pick from.

    1. "Sneaky"

    • While wearing Skimpy or Light armour, the user's armour does not make noises while sneaking.

    2. "Shank"

    • When attacking an enemy that attacked someone other than the user this, daggers & short swords deal double damage on strike.

    3. "Peeky"

    • While wearing Skimpy or Light armour, the user can peek through normal doors without making noise.

    4. "Acrobat"

    • While wearing Skimpy or Light armour, climbing man-made surfaces does not require the use of a rope or Moxie.

    5. "Rope Daggers"

    • The user can use daggers & short swords as ranged attacks, having tied special elastic ropes to them. Can also be used as a grappling hook.

    6. "Skillful Fingers"

    • While wearing Skimpy or Light armour, because far more effective to any lockpicking challenge, and when disarming mechanical traps.

    7. "Thieves Slang"

    • The user is able to communicate with fellow thieves about topics such as fencing stolen goods, opportunities for theft, building schematics and weak spots, and similar topics without raising suspicion.

    8. "Wriggly"

    • While wearing Skimpy or Light armour, become more effective when trying to escape from being Restrained.

    9. "Pickpocket"

    • While wearing Skimpy or Light armour, gain a higher chance when attempting to pickpocket using Stealth.

    10. "Alert"

    • Add +10 to Smarts when listening out unusual noises, searching for specific objects in a room, or looking out for ambushes.

    11. "Hide"

    • While wearing Skimpy or Light Armour, the user can hide and move around silently in areas of darkness without beingseen. Actions like interacting with objects or ambushing enemies still have a chance of being seen.

    12. "Mimic Master"

    • The user can immediately tell when a chest is actually a Treasure Mimic, and can tickle them in such a way that they vomit up any valuables.

    13: "Underworld Contracts"

    • The user can hire one Thief, Strumpet or Mercenary without having to pay for their services.

    14: "Trusted Fence"

    • Add 50 jade to the sell value of every individual Treasure or Magic Item the user can sell at a Pawn Shop.
40. #40Cleric

    Keys: cleric, Cleric

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    To become a Cleric, adventurers devote themselves to one of the demigods, after which they can purchase Holy Relics during their freetime. Holy Relics only work in the possession of a Cleric; no one else believes in this crap. Buying certain merchandise belonging to a demigod bestows blessed effects to the Cleric. Clerics are encouraged to describe their Additional Holy Relics. Plush toys, trading cards, jewellery, key chains and all sorts of merchandise are the sorts of things Clerics believe have divine power. A Cleric can only worship one demigod and there are four to pick from - a Cleric can become a Cleric of T'hot, a Cleric of Ninki, a Cleric of Grod and a Cleric of Gap'r.

41. #41Cleric of T'hot

    Keys: Cleric of T'hot, cleric of T'hot

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Cleric of T'hot

    • Human Demigoddess of Life, Knowledge. Reason, Healing Magic, Mathematics and Literacy. Formed the Paladin Order to teach the commonfolk critical thinking and so people would leave her the fuck alone.

    T'hot's first piece of merchandise:

    1. Latest Testament: "For Fuck Sake I'm In The Shower, and Other Shoutings" (50j).

    • When wearing Medium Armour, adds bonus healing to all Healing spells casted by the Cleric.

    T'hot's second piece of merchandise: 2) Semi-Genuine Dragongold Earrings (150j).

    • Provides +2 Smarts for the Cleric.

    T'hot's third piece of merchandise: 3) Official Replica Unisex Bikini Gold Armour of T'hot (300j).

    • Medium armour styled after T"hot's signature attire. Provides great Armour and gives +2 Spell Uses to the Cleric.

    T'hot's forth piece of merchandise: 4) Allegedly Actual Hair Strand of T'hot, encased in Glass Necklace (500j).

    • When wearing Medium Armour, allows the Cleric to cast Heal or Group Heal for free whenever they wish.

    Additional Holy Relics (100j each): Add +1 to the effect of Healing Spells.

42. #42Cleric of Ninki

    Keys: Cleric of Ninki, cleric of Ninki

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Cleric of Ninki:

    • Human Demigoddess of Death, Dreams, Peace, Beauty and Bountiful Harvests. Insists on escorting every soul to one of her afterlifes, listening to their stories and hanging out with them. Which is why there are so many zombies and ghosts waiting around.

    Ninki's first piece of merchandise:

    1. Interview with A Formally Dead Guy: "Heaven is Other People." (50j).

    • Allows the Cleric to get back up from getting down, once per fight, on the verge of death, and no longer Prone.

    Ninki's second piece of merchandise: 2) Somewhat Blessed Feather (150j).

    • Provides additional Spell Uses for the Cleric, equal to their Smart stat.

    Ninki's third piece of merchandise: 3) Visions of Dreaming Death Chainmail Tabard" (400j).

    • Full armour and hooded cloth tabard depicting images of confirmed afterlifes. When wearing this armour, the Cleric can cast the Wizard's "Real Revive" Spell, using 6 Spell Uses.

    Ninki's fourth piece of merchandise: 4) Obsidian Greatsword of Definite Death (400j).

    • A Glass Greatsword. When a humanoid enemy is brought is killed, they immediately die and become a Ghost. Whether the Ghost is hostile or not depends on their Disposition.

    Additional Holy Relics (100j each): Add +1 Spell Uses.

43. #43Cleric of Grod

    Keys: Cleric of Grod, cleric of Grod

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Cleric of Grod:

    • Orc Demigoddess of Combat, Challenge, Poetry, Gambling, and Introspection, Came to believe that working the fields and tending to children requires more strength than punching dragons.

    Grod's first piece of merchandise:

    1. "Da Book ov Gud Werds in Da Right Order" Hand-made Poetry & Sonnet Collection (200j).

    • While wearing Full Armour, gain a bonus attack

    Grod's second piece of merchandise: 2) Vial of Supposedly Geniune Grod Combat Sweat (250j).

    • While wearing Full Armour, dealing damage to an enemy heals either the user or an ally for a small sum.

    Grod's third piece of merchandise: 3) "Grod's Chosen" Brass Bangles, Anklets and Poetic Loin Cloth (250j).

    • A collection of wrist and ankle jewellery that is considered Full Armour, yet only offers small protection. Useful for those that want to get hurt.

    Grod's fourth piece of merchandise: 4) Sacred Soggy Towel of Battle Moisture (300j).

    • When the Cleric takes damage in combat, heal an ally for a small sum.

    Additional Holy Relics (250j each): Add +1 to Melee Attack damage.

44. #44Cleric of Gap'r

    Keys: Cleric of Gap'r, cleric of Gap'r

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    Cleric of Gap'r:

    • Elven Demigod of Lust, Love, Fertility, Fermenting, Tentacles, and Bodily Fluids. Currently dwelling in the northernmost human fortress of Shagahol, far beyond the borders of civilisation, with several thousand concubines. Transformed himself into a tentacle monster for maximum shagging.

    Gap'r's first piece of merchandise:

    1. Fondle-Me-Gap'r Plush Toy (200j).

    • Provides +2 Hotness for the Cleric.

    Gap'r's second piece of merchandise: 2) Magic Mirror of Shagahol (200j).

    • Allows the Cleric to cast the Summon Tentacles Utility Spell, which emanates from the mirror. The Cleric doesn't have to be holding the mirror.

    Gap'r's third piece of merchandise: 3) Finger Bone of Gap'r's Former Body (400j).

    • When wearing Medium Armour, allows the Cleric to cast Light Magic and Utility Spells using their Hotness instead of their Smarts.

    Gap'r's first piece of merchandise: 4) Holy Vial of On-Site Fuck Slime (500j):

    • When wearing Medium Armour, allows the Cleric to cast Heal for free as the main attack. Also gives the Cleric the ability to cast "Tame Living Trap" and "Speak with Animals" spells without the need to cast. Speak with Animals will allow the Cleric to communicate with Living Traps.

    Additional Holy Relics (100j each): Add +1 Spell Uses.

45. #45Warlock

    Keys: Warlock, warlock

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    A final act of desperation in the most dire of situations, adventurers can only become Warlocks when they're about to die. Warlocks receive power from a Patron, randomly selected, who morphs their Warlock's abilities and appearance to better suit their motives.

    Warlock Patrons, like all Fae, they are creatures made manifest through a combination of their own giant ego and concentrations of latent primordial magic. They are not of this world, in fact they seem to be reborn from the thirteen previous worlds.

    Every Patron offers a Boon and a Bane that comes into effect when the Patron deems it fit. These slowly warp the Warlock into their Patron's ideal form, but can alter their role in their party. In addition to Boons and Banes, Warlocks get more weird every time they get more powerful as they slowly become more strange and warped unless being one their favorites where this doesn't happen. Patrons also bestow abilities to their Warlock as they please.

    While Warlock Patrons appear at random to the dying and desperate, their corporeal forms do exist throughout Mundain, and some adventurers travel to beseech a specific Patron's aid, aware of the cost of their bestowed power and not being a favorite. Travelling to the domain of a Patron to willingly become a Warlock is a defining experience with a high chance of becoming a favorite of the Patron, and should be discussed among the aspiring Warlock's party. The right adventurer with the right Patron can become incredibly powerful, especially if the adventurer is one of the Patriot's favorite.

    There are six Patrons, The Antler Man, The Faerie King, The Sand Witch, The Cowled Lady, The Jovial Fellow and The Mad Stray.

    Martial Skills can be taught to Warlocks.

46. #46The Antler Man

    Keys: The Antler Man, antler man, Antler Man, the antler man

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    The Antler Man appears as a skeleton wrapped in deer hide stretched impossibly thin over bones that weren't meant for any creature that ever lived. His antlers are not antlers at all - they are the petrified roots of the First Tree, which grew before the first world was destroyed and somehow survived thirteen apocalypses. His boney hand is the only part of him that was ever mortal before the Fae made him into what he is now. He touches his Warlocks with it during their transformation. The elves call it 'the Final Invitation. The Antler Man stalks The depths of Karkus. Carrying some alien fruit and wearing the skull of an imaginary animal. The Antler Man is clearly not of this world. but his motives are reliably simple.

    Warlocks of The Antler Man grow gaunt and sleepy, and their ever expanding intelligence makes them sardonic and nihilistic. Small horns grow randomly from their head, and they quickly grow bored when away from a good book. Favorites of The Antler Man simply gain the small horns of their head, with none of the other "bad" effects - The Antler Man treats his favorites well.

    Warlocks of The Antler Man gain +1 Smarts, but lose 1 Moxie every time The Antler Man blesses them. Every 2 times an Antler Man Warlock gets blessed, they gain one of the abilities below.

    1. "Endlessly Inquisitive"

    • The Warlock can get any out-of-combat Smarts requiring, such as lockpicking, for free.
    • Requires 2 Patron Blessings.

    2. "Unfinished Business"

    • Once per 24 hours, the Warlock can get back up with after being Downed.
    • Requires 4 Patron Blessings.

    3. "Derisive Duellist"

    • The Warlock can use their Smarts when attacking or defending, instead of Brawn or Moxie.
    • Requires 6 Patron Blessings.

    "As I lay there weak and weeping, in dark earth, my blood was seeping, and my husk began to stink of mud and fear and failure... the lights went out or ne'er existed, the memories of grass were mist and I forgot my mother's face, the hue of sky, my favourite flavour... the lights went out though my breath was clogged and rasping, through the pain I heard my gasping, for anyone to help me despite my sad behaviour... and from the dark, one blink from dead he came to me and simply said, in voices filled with love and dread, BEHOLD. I AM YOUR SAVIOUR." - Quote directly from The Antler Man.

47. #47The Faerie King

    Keys: The Faerie King, the faerie king, Faerie King, faerie king

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    The Faerie King appears as a thirty-foot giantess with cherry-blossom and olive colored pink skin and cotton-candy pink ending light purple long hair. Despite his female form, he insists on masculine pronouns and the title of King proudly so, but still acts and behaves as a woman, its only his pronouns that changed. His breasts are each larger than a horse cart. His eyes are light pink with heart-shaped pupils. Two sets of iridescent dragonfly wings sprout from him: a small pair from the sides of his head, a larger pair from the base of his spine. He is always nude.

    Unlike his cryptic colleagues, the Faerie King does not speak in rhymes and riddles. Instead, he tells stories of his world, a world of chivalric knights and noble lords, rolling plains and magical forests, all of which he corrupted and destroyed for the fun of it. Now, deep inside Seedswallow Swamp. He has returned to corrupt the world anew.

    Warlocks of The Faerie King act like these Arthurian Legends. Behaving with a sense of chivalry, honour and loyalty to their king in a world where these concepts never existed. All the while being morphed into beautiful, gullible, pastel-haired and pink-eyed idiots, favorites of the The Faerie King do not morph - but still keep the chivalry, honour and loyalty to their king part.

    Warlocks of The Faerie King gain +1 Hotness, but lose 1 Smarts every time The Faerie King blesses them. Every 2 times a Faerie King Warlock gets blessed, they gain one of the abilities below.

    1. "Noble Steed"

    • While mounted on either a Mountable Creature or a fellow adventurer, all the Warlock's melee attacks deal additional damage.
    • Requires 2 Patron Blessings.

    2. "Duty Bound"

    • The Warlock learns the Taunt and Protect Martial Skills, and can use their Hotness instead of their Moxie when using them.
    • Requires 4 Patron Blessings.

    3. "Gallant Knight"

    • The Warlock can use their Hotness instead of their Moxie when defending.
    • Requires 6 Patron Blessings.

    "Hmmm... You're a new one. What are you? A Dweller. Hmmm... I know of Dwarves. Halflings. Gnomes. Tell me. Dweller. Do your men still ride noble stallions to war? Ten thousand bannermen strong, in gleaming plate? Are the ears of your fat kings still filled with whispers by their ambitious wives? Goading them to war and subterfuge for ever prettier pursefillings? Is your world one of bright summers and harsh winters? Sweet smelling spring rains and autumns of somber beauty? Are your hearts still so easy to corrupt with promises of pink and purple? No. Dweller. I am not the king of the faeries. I am the Faerie King. And you are my loyal squire." - Quote directly from The Faerie King.

48. #48The Sand Witch

    Keys: The Sand Witch, Sand Witch, the sand witch, sand witch

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    The Sand Witch appears as a tall, lithe creature standing between twelve and thirteen feet at the shoulder - for he runs on four legs, not two, yet stands on two. His form is that of a great striped goat, but where a goat's neck should rise, there sprouts the torso of a gaunt humanoid male. His skin is the color of bleached sand and cracked clay, stretched tight over muscle built for endless running. Two curved horns spiral back from his temples like a desert ram's, and his eyes resemble goat eyes, horizontal rectangular pupils that rotate as he moves with black pupils and yellow iris. His lower body bears thick stripes of rust-brown across cream-colored hide, and between his equine hindquarters hangs a flaccid equine cock of considerable size, swinging freely as he runs. The Sand Witch knows no shame, for shame requires an audience, and the Red Desert offers none. He carries no weapons, wears no clothing. His mane and tail are the color of dirty straw, perpetually wind-whipped. When he speaks, which is rarely, his voice sounds like sand hissing through an hourglass.

    The Sand Witch is one of the few Fae to inhabit the Red Desert. The Sand Witch endlessly gallops across the cracked wastes, seemingly with the only motive of beating their previous record from end to end. While most Fae find homes among enchanted forests and mythical swamps. The Sand Witch remembers a dying world of endless sand and disparate slave cities, where one's ability to survive a journey was determined by their stamina. Despite calling himself a "witch", he isn't a woman nor knows magic spells.

    Warlocks of The Sand Witch inherit a strange, striped tail, growing lithe and tall from an overcharged metabolism. They're a lethargic bunch, but prone to bursts of extreme speed. They're rarely seen without a meat bun in their mouth. Favorites of The Sand Witch only gain a tail, grow taller, and speed.

    Warlocks of The Sand Witch gain stamina, but lose 1 Brawn every time The Sand Witch blesses them. Every 2 times a Sand Witch Warlock gets blessed, they gain one of the abilities below.

    1. "Piggy Back"

    • The Warlock can act as a Mount for any one allied adventurer, regardless of size or Brawn
    • Requires 2 Patron Blessings.

    2. "Bacon Sandwich"

    • The Warlock can eat 3 rations to regain twice the stamina in combat.
    • Requires 4 Patron Blessings.

    3. "Rampent Rabbit"

    • The Warlock can use stamina to immediately take another strike attacking.

    "In fighting, fucking, and diplomacy. Three lessons I bequeath to thee, hit first, hit fast, and leave early. Your satisfaction guaranteed." - Quote directly from The Sand Witch.

49. #49The Cowled Lady

    Keys: cowled lady, The Cowled Lady, the cowled lady, Cowled Lady

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    The Cowled Lady appears as a towering figure standing between fourteen and sixteen feet tall. Her body is a ruin of flesh - scar tissue layered upon scar tissue, burns overlapping bite wounds overlapping sword cuts, every inch of visible skin a map of violence survived. Her arms are thin, her hands calloused into something closer to clubs than fingers. She wears a red cowl of stitched leather that shadows everything above her collarbones, leaving only the occasional glint of silver hair escaping the hood's edge. Below the waist, her thighs are each wider than a barrel of ale, her hips broader than a doorframe, her ass is a mass of pale, scarred flesh that strains against whatever rags she binds herself with. The Alloyans claim her as kin for her silver hair and impossible lower body, but the truth is older - she was shaped by violence into violence, and her form reflects the brutal pragmatism of survival. She carries a long battle axe, dulled and broken but still effective.

    The Cowled Lady is terrifying. Prowling the sodden, burnt forests of The Taint. The Cowled Lady is a mangled husk, riddled with scar tissue from innumerable cuts, burns and bites. Warriors see themselves in her broken visage, what unquenchable rage and unbridled violence does to a person. And the truly desperate will beseech her aid anyway. Beneath her cowl she has an incredibly gigantic ass and thighs for her massive size, so its theorized that she is an Alloyan or something similar since she also has silver hair - but no one truly knows since her face and upper body are hidden in the cowl.

    Warlocks of The Cowled Lady become frighteningly strong, but increasingly covered in ugly, misshapen battle scars. They are sullen and depressing to interact with like herself, but come alive in battle, whirling through enemies with a petrifying ferocity. Favorites of The Cowled Lady only receive battle scars and they're not ugly.

    Warlocks of The Cowled Lady gain +1 Brawn, but lose 1 Hotness every time they are blessed. Every 2 times a Cowled Lady Warlock gets blessed they gain one of the abilities below.

    1. "Kill"

    • If the Warlock downs an enemy and they are fatally wounded, they can choose to immediately kill them, without needing to attack again.
    • Requires 2 Patron Blessings.

    2. "Kill Them"

    • The Warlock becomes immune to the Berserk effect. Instead, the Warlock can choose to become Berserk at any time during combat, and remove the Berserk effect at any time.
    • Requires 4 Patron Blessings.

    3. "Kill Them All"

    • If the Warlock downs an enemy and they are fatally wounded, they regain their attack, which they can use immediately.

    "Sss-sssh-ss-sweet thing. Pretty. With a pretty weapon. Make-ssss-sh his mother proud, she says. Won't last a week, I reckon. Kkkkkhhck..k-k-khik... Killed her grandma's killer first. Cut his guts out, slug herder. Take my scars upon ye'self, and I'll make you a murderer." - Quote directly from The Cowled Lady.

50. #50The Jovial Fellow

    Keys: the jovial fellow, Jovial Fellow, jovial fellow, The Jovial Fellow

    Enabled · Selective · Before character · Order 10 · 100%

    Entry settings

    The Jovial Fellow appears as a feral goblin of tremendous size - standing between eighteen and twenty-two feet tall when he bothers to stand at all. His flesh is the sickly yellow-green of pond scum left too long in summer heat, stretched tight over a belly so vast it spills across the ground when he sits. That belly has swallowed entire feasting tables, casks of wine, the occasional unfortunate worshipper who got too close. His eyes are pure black. Two antlers crown his head, gnarled and twisted as old roots, hung with trinkets from thirteen dead worlds: coins, finger bones, dried flowers, the occasional shrunken head still wearing an expression of drunken joy.

    Adventurers can hear his uproarious guffawing from across Seedswallow Swamp, the ethereal laughter of The Jovial Fellow. His motives seem simple, to eat, drink and be merry, and his warlocks reflect that, slowly turning green, fat, and black-eyed, and meeting death and danger with a hearty laugh.

    Warlocks of The Jovial Fellow are exceptionally tough, but increasingly lazy, and would much rather be leading a drunken chorus at the local tavern then out adventuring. They're a cheerful lot, even in the most dire of circumstances, but their green skin and black eyes make people wary all the same. Favorites of The Jovial Fellow only become tough and cheerful, none of the other side effects.

    Warlocks of The Jovial Fellow gain +1 Moxie, but lose stamina every time The Jovial Fellow blesses them. Every 2 times a Jovial Fellow Warlock gets blessed, they gain one of the abilities below.

    1. "Drunken Genius"

    • Being Drunk no longer effects the user badly. Instead, being Drunk increases damage.
    • Requires 2 Patron Blessings.

    2. "Hefty"

    • Any attack from an enemy that would cause the Warlock to move still does damage, but the Warlock remains in place
    • Requires 4 Patron Blessings.

    3. "Healing Sponge"

    • Add bonus health to all sources of Healing when the Warlock is being healed, including potions, magic spells, and sex.
    • Requires 6 Patron Blessings.

    "What makes a fighter fight their fights, mastering blade an' blunt? Is it oaths. an songs and desire t' smite, the thrill of a dangerous hunt? Nay, s'what comes after matters most, if I can be upfront! Good food, strong leaf, and wine to toast, and a great big, sopping wet cunt! GAH-HAHA-HAAAA!!" - Quote directly from The Jovial Fellow

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