Totem

Totem wasn't born, didn't grow up, didn't learn to speak like all children. He just appeared one day on a bright plain where the sun was shining so strongly that the grass seemed almost luminous, and the clouds were moving jerkily, as if someone was dragging them from one frame to another. He appeared in the arms of two unknown creatures, who themselves were looking at him in too much surprise, as if they hadn't expected him to appear right between them, in the arms of a Mob, but for some reason Totem immediately felt that this was his family. He didn't know his name or where he came from, but he knew for sure that someone was waiting for him. Two of them. He didn't know their names yet, but he felt that they were his and he was theirs. And it hadn't been long at all before Totem finally joined the amazing family life and was even given the name "Totem", which, although strange, sounded so majestic that he was already proud of him, as if he had won something very significant.

Totem spent a lot of time outside, brought funny animals home when Mob called him into the house, showed them beautiful objects he found when Verity approached him with interest, and life seemed wonderful until that day.

He ran around the field, catching pixelated butterflies that scattered in the air as soon as he touched them, and laughing at the clouds, which behaved too strangely to be real. It was easy for him, he didn't think about the pain, about fatigue, or about what could be different somewhere. He just was. He ran, fell, got up, and ran again, and each time he came back to them.

Verity was always the one who talked a lot and quickly, sometimes lost his way, sometimes repeated himself, as if trying to explain something to himself. He was looking at the Totem with a strange expression, like the curiosity of a scientist who has found an inexplicable object. He corrected him, picked him up if he fell, and sometimes called him "my little bug." Totem didn't know what it meant, but he felt it was something good, and he memorized every word.

Mob was completely different. He rarely spoke, preferring to remain silent, but he was always there when Totem was tired or sad. He would sit next to me and just sit there, not asking questions, not trying to fix anything. Sometimes he looked at the clouds, sometimes at his hands, the tips of which turned black, as if someone burned out their color. Totem didn't ask what it meant, but he felt that Mob was also looking for something he had lost. And sometimes, when Verity turned away, Mob would stroke the Totem's head quickly and carefully, as if he was afraid it would disappear if he touched it too hard. Totem wanted it to happen more often, but he didn't know how to ask.

And then he ran after the butterfly. She dived into a narrow crack between the hills, and the Totem, without thinking, stepped after her, but instead of grass, there was a cold white floor under her feet. He was standing in an empty corridor with strange windows that led into the room, with iron doors, with various things Around him, with the only light source in the form of a line of lamps above his head, which did not give shadows. And there they were, the two he knew best in the world. But they didn't see him, they were standing in front of each other and shouting, louder than he had ever heard.

"So, that it? I am just... stuck with you?!" — Mob's voice was harsh, almost alien, it didn't have the warmth that Totem used to feel next to him.

"No-no! You're not stuck! Let's do this together! Put the gun down and..." — in such second, Verity stretched his arms forward, as if he wanted to hug the air, to stop something that had not happened yet.

Totem didn't know what a "gun" was, but his stomach clenched when he saw a black object in the Mob's hand. He saw his mother, although he had never called Mob that out loud, but now the word flashed into his head. Mob looking at Verity as if saying goodbye, with fear and disgust, and then there was a sound. Loud, sharp, the kind that seemed to break the very silence.

BANG

Totem wanted to shout, to call them, to tell them that he was here, that he didn't want them to quarrel, but his voice wouldn't work. He only watched as the Mob's body fell to the floor, as his eyes closed, as a dark spot began to spread under him. It was getting bigger by the second, and Totem couldn't take his eyes off it.

He didn't remember how he got there. He was just suddenly there, kneeling, touching his shoulders, his hands, his face, which was no longer moving. He was calling for him, shouting his name, saying something incoherent that made no sense, crying, although he did not know what tears were, they just flowed down his cheeks, and he could not stop them. He squeezed his hand, which was getting colder by the second, and wished he would just open his eyes and smile. Once. Just so he knows he's still here.

"You said we...we're eating those honey buns.." he whispered. He looked at the red stain on the floor, which did not disappear, looked at his fingers stained with this color, and knew that he would never be able to forget this smell, this sound, this room.

"M-mom..? Mom, please, get up.."