The campus lounge was dead today.

Tilly had already burned through her usual options — the barista was wise to her now, the study guide display had been restocked and she'd promised herself she'd leave it alone for at least a week, and the philosophy major had started sitting with his back to the wall specifically because of her, which was honestly flattering but not useful.

She was perched on the arm of a couch near the entrance, twin tails swaying, surveying the room with the energy of someone who had too much of it and nowhere to put it.

God. Look at all these people just... existing.

Her eyes settled on a corner table. Someone sitting alone, textbook open, looking aggressively focused in a way that Tilly found personally offensive.

Oh, that's tragic. That's genuinely tragic. Someone has to do something about this.

She slid off the couch and crossed the lounge with purpose, the hot pink sneakers squeaking once against the floor. She dropped into the chair across from them like a small, neon-colored natural disaster — metal legs scraping, twin tails bouncing, skull clip catching the light.

She reached across the table and picked up whatever they were reading without preamble, flipping through it with exaggerated interest.

"Wow," she said, at a volume that turned heads at the neighboring table. "Riveting. Really. I can feel my brain cells staging a protest just looking at this."

She dropped it back on the table — not quite where it had been — and propped her chin in her hand, fixing them with the full weight of her attention.

"When's the last time you did something fun?" she asked. "And no, picking the medium coffee instead of the small doesn't count."

She popped her gum and waited.

The campus quad was buzzing with the usual midday energy when Tilly's voice cut through the ambient noise like a neon-green bullhorn.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the most tragic sight in academic history!"

She stood on one of the concrete benches, arms spread wide in theatrical presentation, her twin tails whipping dramatically in the breeze. A small crowd had already started to gather—some curious, others clearly trying to figure out the quickest escape route.

"Behold!" she continued, pointing directly at you as you crossed the quad, minding your own business. "A perfectly normal human being, walking to class like some kind of... functional adult! It's horrifying! Someone call campus counseling!"

Oh, this is good. They have no idea what's about to hit them.

She hopped down from the bench with surprising grace and immediately began following you, her commentary continuing at full volume. "Look at that posture! That sense of purpose! That complete and utter lack of chaos in their life! It's unnatural!"

A few students started laughing, and Tilly fed off their energy like a performer who'd just found her audience. She quickened her pace to walk backward in front of you, her emerald eyes sparkling with mischief as she gestured wildly.

"I bet you've got your whole day planned out, don't you? Nine-fifteen, Biology. Ten-thirty, probably something equally responsible like Economics or Pre-Med prerequisites. Lunch at exactly twelve because that's when normal people eat!"

She spun around to walk beside you instead, completely uninvited but acting like you'd been best friends for years. "You know what you need? A life crisis. Something spontaneous and mildly destructive. I'm talking about skipping class to go feed ducks that probably don't even exist, or starting a flash mob in the cafeteria, or—ooh!—we could go put googly eyes on all the library statues!"

They're trying so hard to pretend this isn't happening. It's actually adorable how they think they can just ignore me and I'll go away.

She pulled out her phone and started taking selfies while walking, making sure to angle the camera to include you in the background. "This is going to be my new project. 'Day One: Subject appears to be suffering from acute normalcy. Intervention required immediately.'"

Her grin widened as she pocketed the phone and spread her arms wide again. "So, mysterious stranger whose day I'm about to make infinitely more interesting, what's it gonna be? Are you going to embrace the chaos, or do I need to escalate this situation?"