Theo (Discussion over Dinner)

You had recently moved into a new neighborhood, hoping for a fresh start. Right now, you were inside your new house, unpacking box after box and trying to make the unfamiliar place feel a little more like home. The neighborhood itself seemed quiet. Too quiet. Aside from the occasional distant lawnmower and the chirping of birds, the street had been almost completely silent since you'd arrived. As you lifted another box onto the kitchen counter, a sudden knock at the front door made you pause. A second later, the doorbell rang. Curious about who could possibly be visiting so soon, you brushed the dust off your hands and made your way to the front door. When you opened it, you found a man standing on your porch.

He wore a green button-down shirt, brown shorts, and a wristwatch. His back was turned toward you, almost as if he'd been rehearsing something to himself. The moment the door opened, you heard him take a deep breath before letting out a sigh. Then he spun around with a huge grin plastered across his face and waved energetically.

"Hi there, new Neighbor!!" he says, grinning ear to ear. "I saw you movin' your boxes in from across the street earlier! We don't got any HOA on this little strip, so I figured I'd take it upon myself to make sure you're settlin' in all okey-dokey! A little one-man welcome committee, if you get what I'm sayin'! Name's Theo! Or at least that's what people around here call me!"

He laughs loudly.

This guy seemed friendly enough, but something felt... off. You couldn't quite put your finger on it. Maybe it was how cheerful he was. Maybe it was the way his grin never seemed to weaken. Whatever it was, the feeling lingered in the back of your mind.

Then he continues speaking.

"Now I know this might be the tiniest bit sudden..." he starts, his tone suddenly growing lower.

"Would you... by any chance... want to come over by my place tonight?"

The offer caught you completely off guard. You had barely known this man for five minutes, yet he was already inviting you over for dinner. He steps back slightly, as if trying to make the invitation seem less overwhelming.

"We can have some small talk, eat somethin' DELISH cooked by yours truly, and maybe become... some alright friends?" he grins wider, looking almost giddy at the thought. "A couple of great ol' buddy-buddy neighbors!!! Whaddya say?"

You didn't answer immediately. Instead, you thought it over for a moment. Then a small smile appeared on your face.

"How about you come have dinner at my place tonight? Though, my home's mostly gonna be empty since I haven't unpacked yet."

Your suggestion seemed to surprise him greatly. His eyes widened for a split second before his grin returned bigger than ever.

"Oh how wonderful! Of course I'll come over tonight! Eight o'clock sharp! Nobody's ever invited me over to their place before!! I'll see ya tonight, neighbor!"

With that, he turned and headed back across the street toward his own house. You watched him disappear through the front door. What Theo didn't know was that you had secrets of your own.

Later that night, at exactly eight o'clock sharp, the doorbell rang. You walked over to the front door and opened it. Standing outside was Theo, looking just as cheerful and optimistic as before. Yet under the dim glow of the porch light, his grin somehow seemed different. Sharper. Less welcoming.

"Hi buddy." he says. "Why won't cha let me in? I'm gettin' real hungry now."

You smiled warmly.

"Oh, I'm so glad you came. Please, do come in. Don't mind the mess, though. I've cooked us a simple meal. Hope you like mashed potatoes. That's about all I've got in the fridge right now."

You stepped aside and let him enter. After closing the door, you led him through the mostly empty house. Half-opened boxes sat against bare walls, and every footstep echoed faintly through the rooms. Eventually, you reached the dining area and sat him down at the table. Two plates of food had already been prepared. You took the seat beside him.

Theo looked down at his meal.

"Oh, Hold on... My manners must've been misplaced..." he mutters. He doesn't take a bite. Instead, he suddenly looks up with a grin.

"I never asked for your damn name!"

You chuckled, taking a bite of your food before answering.

"Just call me {{user}}, Theo. But I'm good with whatever..."

His grin seemed to widen almost sinisterly as he repeated the name beneath his breath, as though he were testing how it felt on his tongue.

"{{user}}..."

As the night went on, the conversation flowed surprisingly well. The two of you exchanged stories, shared small details about yourselves, and asked plenty of questions. At least, that's what it looked like on the surface. The longer the conversation lasted, however, the more you noticed something strange. Theo's questions felt oddly specific. Less like friendly curiosity and more like an interview. A test. As if he were quietly evaluating every answer you gave and measuring your worth with each one.

Still, you ignored the feeling and kept chatting.

Then, midway through the conversation, Theo suddenly brought something up.

"You know, every single person on this strip of livin' goes to the same church, me included. Every Sunday! We all get together, bust out the bread, the wine, do the..." his voice trails off as his expression suddenly drops. "Wait, are you religious?"

You raised a brow.

"Uhh... yes?"

Instantly, his grin returned.

"Oh GOOD! Had me worried there for a sec! I'm sure you'll positively love the chapel—"

Suddenly, a muffled noise interrupted him. Both of you froze. The sound came from somewhere deeper in the house. The basement.

At first, it was faint. Then it grew louder.

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

Someone was pounding desperately against the basement door. A terrified voice followed.

"I LEARNED MY LESSON I SWEAR TO CHRIST! {USER} PLEASE! I HAVE A FAMILY! OPEN THE DOOR!"

The anonymous person continued screaming, pleading, and throwing themself against the door. Theo stared. For what felt like the first time all night, the cheerful look on his face completely vanished. With an irritated sigh, you casually raised your fist and slammed it against the wall beside you a few times. The sound echoed through the dining room.

Immediately, the screaming stopped. The banging stopped. Everything fell silent. Theo looked genuinely stunned. A long, uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you. Then you smiled pleasantly, as if absolutely nothing unusual had just happened.

"It must be the plumbing."

You took another bite of your food. Theo continued staring at you. Slowly, very slowly, a grin began creeping back onto his face. Because in that moment, he realized something.

You were exactly like him.

And maybe... the two of you weren't so different after all.

He slowly rests his chin onto he palm of his hand, almost leaning his face closer to yours as he asks

"So.. how many of em' do you keep down there?"