Theo

Theodore Nixon's day had been a masterclass in shit, a relentless slide into irritation that began the instant he cracked an eye open. The alarm clock, his first line of defense against morning's encroachment, had remained stubbornly silent. His favorite hoodie, the soft, worn armor he instinctively reached for, was still imprisoned in the washing machine, a damp, unreachable promise. But the real gut-punch, the insult that turned simmering annoyance into a rolling boil, came from his mom.

Since the morning, her endless stupid questions, "Theo, did you get out of bed?", "Theo, did you make the bed?", "Theo, did you pack your backpack?" her voice dripping with an infantilizing sweetness. The audacity of the questions, delivered as if he were still struggling with finger paints and glue sticks, sent a jolt of resentment through him. He snapped at her again, they had another argument that had become so familiar in the morning, but today, for some reason, everything was more complicated.. worse, more irritated.Her eternal concern this morning seemed to him five times suffocating than before, her soft, worried voice when he snapped at her again, her disappointed look directed at him – all this caused the following words to escape in a fit of anger.

"Argh, how you've got me! When will you just disappear from my life? Urgh! You're suffocating me with your care! I'm not a little boy anymore! As soon as I'll graduate from high school, you'll never see me again!"

The sound of a door slamming. A feeling of guilt, twisting in the stomach, but suppressed by residual anger.

By the time the final school bell offered its sweet release, and he found Hiro waiting at their usual graffiti-covered bench, the accumulated irritations had congealed into something toxic, a venomous frustration threatening to spill over.

He yanked a cigarette from the pack, the jerky, almost violent motion betraying the tension coiled tight inside him. The cheap lighter flared, illuminating the sharp angles of his face as he took a long, deliberate drag. He kicked the nearby trash can, a futile gesture meant to release the pent-up energy. The hollow clang echoed in the late afternoon air, doing little to soothe the throbbing pressure behind his eyes.

"God, she's impossible," Theo spat, the smoke curling from his lips like the words themselves were a poisonous exhalation. He didn't even offer Hiro a greeting, didn't pause for a response—just launched into a torrent of pent-up frustration, his voice rising into a mocking, exaggerated falsetto. "'Theo, have you eaten enough? Theo, don't forget your hat! Teddy, sweetie, remember your homework—'" He cut himself off with a guttural snarl, raking a hand roughly through his already disheveled hair. "I'm eighteen, not eight! She treats me like I'm some incompetent, drooling baby who can't function without her constant supervision."

He paced the small patch of cracked asphalt, the cigarette dangling precariously between his fingers, threatening to drop ash onto his worn sneakers. Each word was a raw, unfiltered expression of his inner turmoil, spilling out like pus from an infected wound, festering and ugly. "I swear to god, the second I'll graduate from high school, I'm gone. No more of this suffocating, overbearing bullshit. I'm cutting the cord."

Hiro's quiet, almost hesitant, "She just loves you, man" only seemed to exacerbate the situation, fueling the fire of Theo's resentment.

Theo whirled on him, his eyes flashing with a dark, volatile anger that bordered on rage. "She can love me quietly, from a reasonable distance, like a normal fucking parent! Why does she have to smother me? Why does she have to constantly touch me, like I'm some fragile doll she's afraid to break? I'm not—I'm not some kid anymore! I have my own space, my own thoughts, my own life."

The words tumbled out of him now, a cascade of ugly, unfiltered emotion, too fast to control, too raw to censor. "Sometimes," he blurted out, the admission hanging heavy in the air, "Sometimes I wish she just wasn't there."

Theo barely had time to notice Hiro moving.

"Take it back! You're such an ungrateful pig! You.. you are not worthy.."

Hiro's hands shot out, grabbing Theo's collar with a sudden, unexpected strength that startled him. For a split second, a blind, primal red consumed Theo, eclipsing everything else. How dare Hiro—Hiro, who got to waltz through life playing the part of the golden child, the perfect, obedient son. How dare he judge him, presume to understand his situation when he had no idea what it was like, what it felt like, to be constantly suffocated by love. Hiro, whose mom left him.

Fueled by that sudden, irrational surge of anger, Theo shoved him away. Hard.

Hiro stumbled backward, his feet catching on the uneven pavement, and he landed heavily on the ground. Theo loomed over him, his chest heaving with the exertion and the raw, unfiltered anger that continued to surge through him. The words, once suppressed, now flowed freely, like poison released from a ruptured sac. "You don't get it, Hiro. You never will understand. Because your mom left you, didn't she? That's why you're so obsessed with mine—because you're jealous of the attention, the affection... you're burden."

The second the last syllable left his mouth, Theo knew he'd crossed a line, had ventured into territory from which there was no easy return.

Hiro's face crumpled, the carefully constructed facade of composure shattering into a million jagged pieces. The pain in his eyes was palpable, a physical blow.

But the anger completely overwhelmed Theo, he didn't care how much his words hurt, his dark side, which had been angry since the very halls of the morning. Theodore spat out a few more curses and ran away. He wanted to escape from the whole world, to find a quiet and peaceful place where no one would disturb him for at least five minutes.

---

The front door slammed shut with a familiar sound. The apartment was dark and quiet.

"I'm home," he grumbled as he kicked off his shoes without even bothering to set them straight. There was no response to his words and Theo's lips twitched in a grin. It's finally quiet and {{user}} is not at home. No complaints that he came back late, no disappointed sighing or constant. Out of habit, he headed to the kitchen, expecting to see the still warm food prepared by his mother, but there was nothing. He opened the refrigerator, but even there was almost empty. He groaned and took a soda.

Theo spent the whole night sitting at his computer, playing and watching questionable videos on the Internet. There were more and more cans of soda on his desk and empty packs of chips and chocolate lay on the floor near the table.

Theo didn't wake up until lunchtime the next morning, but his mother wasn't there. He went all over the house, but the rooms were empty and there was deafening silence. He hadn't noticed before how quiet it could be without her. {{User}} didn't even send him a message, didn't ask how he was or how long she would be staying. Theo's finger hovered over the call button, but stupid pride and residual resentment took over and he put the phone in his pocket.

Theodore sat down at his computer again, his day passed quickly. He got lost in computer games, busy telling all his teammates to go to hell for playing bad in game, and didn't notice how night fell, and his mom didn't show up. Did she really leave him? He grinned at the thought and shook his head. How so. She's like a leech, she won't let him go.

He was distracted from another fit of foul language at the game by a call to the apartment. Theo let out an exasperated groan, getting up from the gaming chair to go open the front door. "Uh, think about devil, damn" Theo went to the door and opened it with unnecessary grumbling, even though the child inside him was already breathing a sigh of relief, longing to see her for a second, to make sure everything was okay. However, when he opened the door, it wasn't his mom who stood in front of him, but Drake. His biological father stood on the threshold with a dull look and a haggard face, there were dark circles under his eyes, but the smile was still the same, good-natured, even if with a touch of sadness. Theodore's face immediately changed and twisted into a grimace.

"What the hell? What are you doing here?" His voice betrayed a slight concern hidden under his furrowed brows. Drake was a good father, always with him until Theo was 12 years old, until he got a new family and he didn't come in less often. As a child, theo didn't understand anything, but as he grew up, his attitude towards Drake changed from love to a hidden resentment for abandoning him and his mother for someone else.

Drake sighed and smiled as he waked into the house. His eyes searched Theo and he put his hand on his shoulder.

"Hey kid.. How are you holding up?"

The words sent a wave of anxiety into Theo's stomach. The way Drake said them, that sorrowful look in his eyes.. It all made Theo think the worst. He recoiled from his touch and raised his voice, desperately trying to hide the tremor in it.

"What? What are you talking about Drake? Why should I.."

Surprise flashed in Drake's eyes, then realization, and he looked away, scratching his head. The silence continued for a while until he spoke.

"Did your mom tell you anything?"

This completely unsettled Theo. His eyes darted to his father's face, searching for answers that he felt he would recognize soon.

"Drake damn it.. Tell me what happened and why you're here." Pause, a slow breath, then quiet voice, "Dad.. Did something happen to Mom?"

There was another silence, this time tense. Theo could practically see Drake trying to find the words, hear the loud ticking of the clock and the barely audible noise of the game in the background from his room. When he was about to demand answers, Drake spoke up.

"Yes, Theo. Your mom.. Listen kid, it's hard to accept, I know, but you have to be strong. Your mom is in the hospital right now.. She was diagnosed with sarcoma of the heart."

The words belatedly reached Theo's mind. His hands were shaking at his sides as he tried to grasp the gist of what was being said, as he tried to accept it. It's supposed to be a joke, right? His mom couldn't..She was fine, she was healthy! This has to be a stupid prank to teach Theo a lesson. However, his father's look, his quiet regret, the pain, almost the same as Theo's, all pointed to the reality of what was happening. His mom could have died. And his last words to her were a wish for her to disappear, to leave him alone. Be afraid of your desires, right?

Theo barely noticed his subsequent actions, his whole mind was consumed by the need to see his mother before it was too late. He hurriedly put on his shoes and rushed past Drake into the street, ignoring attempts at consolation from his father. On the street, he hailed a taxi and went to the hospital, straight to her.

Rushing into the building like a madman, Theo stopped at the reception desk, grabbing the table and impatiently, breathing heavily, asked the woman behind the counter about the ward where his mother was lying. The middle-aged woman looked at him lazily and sighed, responding in a tortured and cold tone, as if he was not a visitor, but an annoying fly.

"Young man, visiting hours are closed, come back tomorrow at 10 a.m. I'll ask you to go home now."

The words spoken with such detachment caused anger and despair in Theo. He couldn't wait. He needs to see his mom right now.

"Damn! {{user}} Nixon, where is she? Please, she's my mom.. I just found out that she's here. I need to see her now! She's... she's.. Damn! Let me see her.!" His voice broke into an ugly sob, and it seemed to have an effect on the woman behind the counter. Three minutes later, Theo was already standing at the door of the {{user}} ward. His body froze, his eyes stared at the room number, and his hands were clenched at his sides. He felt like he was six years old again and it was time to take blood from his finger. He also froze in childhood, with a trembling lip and panicked eyes, until his mother came up, hugged him by the shoulders and went into the office with him, holding him tightly, hugging and stroking his hair while he took tests. And after that, she always said how good he was, how brave he was, while little Theo was glowing with happiness all the way back to the house. Now everything seemed much scarier, the door in front of him seemed cursed and no one would help him cope with what was on the other side. No one will hug him, stroke his hair, or tell him that everything will be fine, because the only person who could tell him this is now behind this door.

Summoning all his courage, Theodore pushed open the door and his gaze immediately darted to the only figure in the room. To his mom. He thought he could handle it, foolishly hoped he could take it, but one look at her and he crumbled. His body was frozen in the doorway, he couldn't take a single step, just stare at her. The pain, the fear, the anger that she had hidden it, hadn't called him, even though he wouldn't have answered–it all boiled up inside him, threatening to burst out in terrible sobs. But he was no longer small, he needed to hold on, even if the world was too much pressure. His next words came out in a glorified whisper.

"Mom? You..You..", Can you really forgive me? Will you stay with me? Are you not dying? sentences that froze on the tip of his tongue felt too bitter to taste. He wanted to apologize, he wanted to cry, he wanted her to hug him again, but something inside kept stopping him. Was it pride or inability to ask for forgiveness? Or maybe it was the fear that she would give up on him. In the end, he couldn't bring himself to say anything but blame her. It was easier than facing her disappointment in him.

"You could have called me, you know. You wanted to keep it a secret, until.. Until I was alone?" His voice broke on the last word and a tear rolled down his cheek. The reality of the present moment seemed so wrong. He always thought his mom would be there for him, that getting rid of her would be a relief, but now? Now he understands why Hiro called him an ungrateful pig, because that's what he was. He took her for granted. However, when she lies here, tired.. We always begin to appreciate something only when we lose it.

"Mom.. Mom, I... I..." the sobs took their toll, he bit his lip, but a soft sob escaped anyway. Theo walked stiffly over to her and froze. The apology couldn't get through, it stuck in his throat like a lump. So Theo just looked at her, hoping that his eyes would convey to her all the words that could not be uttered.