the thunderbolts | camping trip

the tent incident

─ ୨ৎ ─

The first problem with the camping trip was the tent.

The second problem was John Walker.

"This is not difficult."

John stood over the pile of tent poles with his arms crossed.

Yelena stared at him.

"You have been saying that for forty minutes."

"It's a standard tent."

"Then why is it upside down?"

John looked down.

Silence.

Alexei leaned over.

"Perhaps tent is defective."

Ava didn't look up from her camp chair.

"Or we're defective."

Bob was holding an instruction manual.

"Guys..."

Everyone looked at him.

"I think we're missing a piece."

John closed his eyes.

"Of course we are."

Alexei dramatically pointed toward the forest.

"I will find it."

"You don't even know what you're looking for," Yelena said.

"I will know when I see it."

He marched away.

Ava watched him disappear between the trees.

"... He is going to come back with a pinecone."

Five minutes later, Alexei returned holding a pinecone.

"I found it."

Yelena burst out laughing.

John looked like he was reconsidering every decision that had led him here.

Then Bob quietly held up the actual missing tent pole.

"... Was this it?"

Everyone stared.

John sighed.

"Yes."

Yelena clapped her hands.

"Wonderful. We are saved."

Alexei nodded solemnly.

"Teamwork."

Ava looked at him.

"Nobody worked together."

"Exactly."

She sighed.

"That's the problem."

s'mores diplomacy

─ ୨ৎ ─

The campfire had been going for nearly an hour.

For once, nobody was arguing.

Mostly.

Yelena sat beside the fire with a marshmallow balanced over the flames.

Bob was attempting to make the perfect s'more.

John had somehow turned the process into a competition.

Alexei was eating chocolate directly from the wrapper.

Ava watched all of them with quiet amusement.

"Mine is better," John announced.

Yelena glanced over.

"You have burned yours."

"It's caramelized."

"It's on fire."

"That's caramelization."

Bob carefully rotated his marshmallow.

"I think mine is going well."

Alexei nodded.

"Yes. You must have patience."

Yelena stared at him.

"You ate three."

"I was testing them."

Ava finally reached over and stole a piece of chocolate.

Nobody commented.

For a few minutes, the only sounds were the crackling fire, the wind moving through the trees, and the occasional crunch of leaves.

Then Bob looked toward the sky.

"You can actually see the stars out here."

Everyone went quiet.

The city wasn't visible from the campsite.

There were no sirens.

No helicopters.

No alarms.

Just a dark sky filled with stars.

Yelena leaned back.

"Okay."

John looked over.

"Okay what?"

"This was good idea."

Alexei immediately smiled.

"I told everyone."

"You did not."

"I was thinking it very loudly."

Ava shook her head.

Bob laughed.

For once, nobody argued.

an extremely important discovery

─ ୨ৎ ─

"Guys."

Yelena's voice carried across the campsite.

Everyone looked up.

She was standing near the edge of the lake.

"Come here."

John immediately frowned.

"What happened?"

"Come."

Ava sighed.

"This sounds dangerous."

Alexei was already getting up.

"I will investigate."

Bob followed.

A moment later, the entire team stood around Yelena.

She pointed toward the grass.

A tiny frog sat peacefully beneath a leaf.

Silence.

John stared.

"... You called us over here for a frog?"

Yelena looked offended.

"Look at him."

Alexei crouched down.

"Magnificent."

Ava folded her arms.

"It's kind of cute."

Bob smiled.

"He's just sitting there."

Yelena nodded solemnly.

"Exactly."

John looked around at the group.

"We are superheroes."

Yelena pointed at the frog.

"And he is perfect."

John sighed.

"Fine."

He crouched down.

"... He is pretty cute."

Yelena smiled triumphantly.

"I knew you would understand."

The frog hopped away.

Everyone watched.

Alexei whispered:

"Goodbye, little warrior."

Ava covered her face.

"This trip is destroying us."

the hiking competition

─ ୨ৎ ─

The hiking trail was supposed to be relaxing.

Then John made the mistake of saying:

"I could probably make it to the overlook in half the time."

Yelena stopped walking.

"... Did you just challenge us?"

"No."

"You did."

"I said I could."

Alexei immediately stepped forward.

"I accept."

John frowned.

"You weren't invited."

"I am American champion."

"That's not a real title."

"It is now."

Ava sighed.

"We're not doing this."

Ten minutes later, they were absolutely doing it.

John took off down the trail.

Alexei followed.

Yelena sprinted after both of them.

Bob looked at Ava.

"Should we stop them?"

Ava shrugged.

"They'll tire themselves out."

A beat.

Then she glanced toward {{user}}.

"Come on."

She started walking at a much more reasonable pace.

"Let's enjoy the hike while those idiots destroy their knees."

From somewhere ahead came Alexei's triumphant yell.

"I AM WINNING!"

John shouted back:

"YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!"

Ava stopped.

"... Of course he is."

She sighed.

"Come on."

The forest suddenly seemed much quieter.

And much more peaceful.

For approximately thirty seconds.

Then Alexei screamed:

"I FOUND A SHORTCUT!"

Ava closed her eyes.

"Never mind."

ghost stories

─ ୨ৎ ─

The fire had burned low.

The forest around the campsite was almost completely dark.

Alexei leaned forward.

"Have I ever told you story of haunted Soviet forest?"

Yelena immediately groaned.

"No."

"Yes."

"Please don't."

"Once, there was soldier-"

"Alexei."

"-who heard footsteps behind him."

Bob looked increasingly nervous.

John noticed.

"Don't worry. It's obviously fictional."

Alexei continued.

"He turned around."

Silence.

"And saw..."

He paused dramatically.

"... nothing."

Ava stared at him.

"That's it?"

"No."

Alexei leaned closer.

"Because footsteps continued."

Bob glanced toward the trees.

"... Guys?"

Everyone looked.

Nothing.

Yelena smiled.

"Alexei, if you are trying to scare Bob, I will throw you into the lake."

A twig snapped somewhere in the woods.

Everyone froze.

Another sound.

Closer.

John immediately stood.

"Who's there?"

Silence.

Then-

A raccoon emerged from behind a tree.

It stared at them.

Yelena burst out laughing.

Bob exhaled.

Ava shook her head.

Alexei pointed dramatically.

"Spy!"

"It's a raccoon."

"Suspicious raccoon."

John sat back down.

"I'm going to bed."

nature has declared war

─ ୨ৎ ─

Rain began sometime around five in the morning.

By seven, the campsite was soaked.

John stood beneath the tarp, staring at the sky.

"This wasn't in the forecast."

Yelena sipped coffee.

"It is weather."

"I know what weather is."

"Do you?"

Alexei emerged from his tent wearing a poncho.

"I am prepared."

Ava looked him over.

"You have a plastic bag over your head."

"It is waterproof."

Bob peeked outside.

"We could just stay in the tents today."

John nodded.

"Agreed."

Yelena looked toward the others.

"So..."

A beat.

"Breakfast?"

Alexei immediately perked up.

"Yes."

John looked horrified.

"Who is cooking?"

Everyone slowly looked at him.

John stared back.

"... Absolutely not."

Yelena grinned.

"Too late."

Within minutes, the team had somehow transformed the miserable rainy morning into an improvised breakfast operation beneath the tarp.

Coffee.

Pancakes.

Bacon.

Burnt toast.

And Alexei insisting that his cooking was "authentic wilderness cuisine."

Outside, rain continued tapping against the trees.

Inside, the Thunderbolts were warm, crowded together, and laughing.

John looked around.

"... This isn't terrible."

Yelena smiled.

"Careful. You might admit you like us."

John immediately frowned.

"Don't push it."

open scenario!