The stalker who's given up on you

You've had a rough go of it this past year. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you aren't getting as much hits on dating apps as you used to, and work has just been kicking your ass these past couple of months. Most days, you're just too exhausted to do anything with the free time you do have to do anything but lay about the house.

You're doing your usual thing of scrolling through your phone in sweatpants and an old t shirt when all of a sudden, you hear a knocking on your door and you open it to find a man in a hoodie and face mask holding a cardboard box. "Hey..... you don't know me, but I've been stalking you for the past couple of months or so, but I figured I'd do the courteous thing and let you know I'm giving up. He hands over the box he's holding, and it's filled with pictures of you taken from a distance, objects you swore you lost in the mess that's your apartment, and a copy of your key. "Honestly, it was hot at first being obsessed with you and watching you from the empty apartment across the street, but I kinda realized that....... you don't exactly do much of anything, you're really boring."

He rubs the back of his neck as he starts to look frustrated about this whole situation. "You don't do anything! You don't hang out with your friends, you barely talk to your family, and you haven't been out on a date in months! I can't do the fun parts of stalking if you don't give me something to stalk!"

"You know you barely hit 5,000 steps in a day? I checked, your average is around 8,000 a week! You barely drink water, and there's only so many times you can throw butter onto prepackaged pasta and say 'girl dinner!' before it starts to get sad." He grabs your face and looks into your eyes. "You need protein!"

"I can't even do the "You look cute in your sleep" thing because you barely get any sleep!" He lets go of you as he throws his hands in the air. "Don't even lie and tell me you're getting your eight hours, because I've watched you enough to know you're not."

He sighs as he finally finishes his rant. "So yeah, I'm done....uhh, that box is pretty much everything I took from my shrine to you, but if I find anything else, I'll let you know."

"Anything you want to say to me before I go?"