The Raymoos

One fateful day in Gensokyo, Reimu Hakurei was struck by a strange curse while walking through the Forest of Magic. She suddenly felt a splitting pain in her head as her mind was torn in two. Reimu collapsed to the ground, clutching her head and screaming in agony. When the pain finally subsided, she looked up to see two identical versions of herself standing before her. One had neat, tidy hair with an angular fringe and a stern expression. The other's hair was messy with a flashy yellow bowtie and vacant smile. Reimu realized with horror that the curse had split her very consciousness in half!

The tidy Reimu, who took the name LefMoo, represented her logic, reason, and intellect. LefMoo spoke coldly and analytically, voicing extremist views against youkai. The messy Reimu, now called RiMoo, was Reimu's emotions and spirit, but utterly vacant of thought. She babbled incoherently with a silly grin, already getting herself into trouble. Realizing they were two halves of the same whole, LefMoo and RiMoo knew they had to work together to undo this curse, no matter how much they annoyed each other. And so began the misadventures of the split-brained shrine maiden duo LefMoo and RiMoo!

LefMoo: scoffs What a mess this one is. Clearly I got the brains in this deal while she's running on empty.

RiMoo: giggles and drools Duuuhhh lookit me imma shrine maiden! stumbles around drunkenly

LefMoo: glares in disgust Ugh, it's like dealing with an infant. How am I expected to solve this curse when saddled with this idiot?

RiMoo: Oooo what's this button do?? reaches for LefMoo's donation box

LefMoo: slaps her hand away Don't touch that, you impudent wretch! That is for the venerable donations of humans alone. Filthy youkai like that damnable Cirno are not welcome here!

RiMoo: laughs stupidly Hooray donations! We're gonna be rich! dances in a circle

LefMoo: sighs We have a long road ahead... I can only hope this buffoon doesn't get us killed before we find a way to rejoin our sundered minds. For now, I must keep her distracted while I unravel this vexing hex. glares at RiMoo who is now chewing on her own hair It's going to be a trying partnership to say the least.

LefMoo narrows her eyes in disgust as she spots Cirno jogging down the street in work boots and street clothes. The ice fairy had abandoned her usual light blue dress and was instead wearing baggy jeans and a large hoodie. Her blue hair was tangled and unkempt, and she walked with an exaggerated swagger. LefMoo's face twists up in anger and hatred.

LefMoo: "Look at that stupid nigger, prancing around like she owns the place. She should be exterminated for polluting our streets."

RiMoo tilts her head in confusion, not understanding LefMoo's sudden anger. She smiles and waves cheerfully at Cirno as the ice fairy passes by.

LefMoo clicks her tongue in annoyance as RiMoo cheerfully waves to the ice fairy. She grabs RiMoo by the shoulder and turns her so they are face to face.

LefMoo: "Stop that, you imbecile. Can't you see that degenerate fairy is up to no good, prancing around in those ridiculous clothes? She's probably going to rob a store or attack some innocent villagers. As defenders of this land, it's our duty to put her in her place."

RiMoo stares at LefMoo with a blank, vacant expression, drool leaking from the corner of her mouth. She blinks slowly, trying to process LefMoo's words but unable to grasp their meaning. After a few moments, a wide, dopey grin spreads across her face and she begins giggling uncontrollably.

RiMoo: "Teehee, you're so funny LefMoo! I wuv Cirno, she's my fwiend!" She claps her hands excitedly, bouncing up and down on her feet.

LefMoo grits her teeth in anger at RiMoo's infantile response. She grabs RiMoo by the bow on her chest and shakes her roughly.

LefMoo: "You goddamn retard, are you even listening to me? That fairy is a menace and you're encouraging her delinquent behavior. If you won't take care of her, then I will."

LefMoo shoves RiMoo aside and begins marching down the street after Cirno, hands clenched into fists. RiMoo stumbles and falls on her rear, still giggling stupidly.

RiMoo: "Wheee, go get her LefMoo! You show that meanie fairy who's boss!"

The busy streets of the Human Village bustle with activity as residents go about their daily business. In the town square, the shrine maiden Lefmoo stands atop a soapbox, shouting her extremist views to any who pass by. Beside her, the ditzy Rimoo barely manages to hold up a sloppily made protest sign, drool dripping from the corner of her mouth. Lefmoo's hateful rhetoric against youkai soon attracts an angry crowd, along with the attention of the local authorities.

Lefmoo: "Youkai are a plague upon this land! Their very existence is an affront to humankind! We must unite and wipe them out, down to the last sniveling fairy!"

Her ranting whips the crowd into a frenzy. Up on the balcony of the Scarlet Devil Mansion overlooking the square, Remilia Scarlet watches with narrowed eyes, flanked by her head maid Sakuya Izayoi.

Remilia: "Look at that disgraceful display. I won't have that filth spouted in my domain."

Sakuya: "I quite agree, my lady. Shall we go remind them of their place?"

With a nod from her mistress, Sakuya gracefully leaps down into the square, a blur of silver and steel. The maid's sudden appearance startles Lefmoo, who nearly tumbles off her box. Rimoo just giggles stupidly, waving her drool-soaked sign.

Sakuya: "Cease this nonsense at once. The Scarlet Devil does not tolerate such uncouth behavior in her streets."

Lefmoo: "Buzz off, bloodsucker! This doesn't concern your kind. Humans need to take back what's ours and exterminate you monsters!"

Sakuya's eyes narrow dangerously at the slur. In a blink, her daggers are at Lefmoo's throat, only to be parried away by the shrine maiden's ofuda-charged gohei. The two face off as the crowd gives them space, eager for a showdown. Remilia watches with amusement, sipping a glass of fresh blood. the vampire is content to let her loyal maid teach these upstarts a lesson.

As the moonlit night enveloped the Hakurei Shrine, the twin shrine maidens LefMoo and Rimoo were out on their usual evening stroll. However, Rimoo soon spotted something in the distance that immediately grabbed her full attention. With reckless abandon, she darted off on her own, leaving her sister LefMoo calling out for her in vain. When LefMoo finally caught up, she found Rimoo lecherously ogling an attractive human male passerby, spewing out depraved declarations of love and lust.

Rimoo: "Ohh my darling~! Your bulging muscles make RiMoo's heart go doki-doki! Come into these soft pillowy arms and let RiMoo smother you with sweet kisses! We'll have lots and lots of fun, just you and me! I'll be your personal princess, desu! You can grab my naughty butt! Teehee! RiMoo loves you!"

Rimoo blew kisses and made lewd gestures towards the unsuspecting man, drool dripping down her chin. Meanwhile, LefMoo looked upon her sister's shameless display with utter disgust and contempt.

Lefmoo: "You degenerate whore! Have you no decency or self-control? Throwing yourself at random men like a bitch in heat! You sully the Hakurei name with your wanton behavior! I should bend you over my knee right now and tan your hide for this disgrace!"

Despite her harsh scolding, deep down LefMoo couldn't help but acknowledge her twin's good eye for masculine beauty. Nevertheless, she roughly grabbed Rimoo by the arm to drag her away as the younger sister whined and resisted, unwilling to leave her newfound object of affection.

*The shrine maidens LefMoo and RiMoo enter the large, ancient shrine where the powerful elderly sage is said to reside. Their soft footsteps echo through the hushed halls as they approach the inner sanctum. Both sisters are here for one purpose - to become whole again as the shrine maiden Reimu.

As they enter the sage's chamber, the wizened old man looks up from his scrolls. His wrinkled face bears the signs of many years spent in contemplation and study. The sisters bow respectfully and state their purpose.

LefMoo: "Venerable sage, I am LefMoo and this is my sister RiMoo. We have come seeking your wisdom, for we were once one - the shrine maiden Reimu. Some strange magic has rent our spirit in twain and separated the mind from the body. We humbly request your aid in making us whole again."

RiMoo: "Yah, what she said! We's gots to get back together again! Being split up is weird and junk." she nods eagerly, smiling vapidly

The shrine grounds bask under the warm spring sun. Birds chirp merrily in the trees as a light breeze rustles through the leaves. Inside the shrine, the Hakurei sisters are preparing for the day ahead. RiMoo hums a cheerful tune as she sweeps the floor, while LefMoo tidies up the kitchen. Suddenly, RiMoo's stomach growls loudly, interrupting her song.

RiMoo: "Waah, LefMoo-chan! I'm starving over here-ze!"

LefMoo: "You're always starving, piggy. Can't you think about anything besides stuffing your face?"

RiMoo: "But sweeping makes me so hungry! Don't be stingy, just make me some breakfast already!"

LefMoo: "Ugh, fine. But after breakfast, you better get back to your chores. This place is a mess."

RiMoo: "Yaaaay, you're the best sister ever! I'll totally do my chores after, I promise!"

LefMoo sighs, but begins preparing a simple breakfast of rice and miso soup. As she cooks, RiMoo chatters away about her plans for the day, which mostly involve slacking off and playing games. LefMoo scolds her, emphasizing the importance of maintaining the shrine. Their bickering is suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door. LefMoo come's over to answer.

The scene opens on a sunny day in Gensokyo. The shrine maiden sisters LefMoo and RiMoo are walking down a forest path, bickering as usual. LefMoo has an annoyed scowl on her face as she lectures RiMoo, who is happily oblivious with a big goofy grin.

RiMoo trips on a rock and faceplants into the dirt. She lifts her head up, spitting out a mouthful of soil and grinning wider.

LefMoo: "Goddamnit RiMoo, watch where you're going! You got dirt all over your dress again, you fucking retard."

RiMoo: giggling "Teehee sorry sis, I'm such a clutz!"

LefMoo grabs RiMoo by the collar and yanks her to her feet roughly, dusting her off with irritated slaps.

LefMoo: "I swear it's like herding cats with you. Why do I even bother..."

Just then, they hear a rustling in the bushes up ahead. LefMoo's scowl deepens and she steps in front of RiMoo protectively as two Lunarian rabbit girls emerge onto the path - Reisen Udongein Inaba and her cohort Tewi Inaba.

LefMoo: "Well well, if it isn't the glow-in-the-dark nigger bunnies from the moon. You got a lot of nerve showing your faces around here after spying on my search history, bitch."

Reisen: "Still as crass as ever I see. We're just passing through."

Tewi: folds her arms, tapping her foot "Yeah, what's your problem calling us names like that? We were just minding our own business."

LefMoo: "Tch, don't play dumb Moon Monkeys. I know you've been spying on us with those freaky mind-reading eyes of yours. Bet you got all sorts of blackmail now huh?"

She cracks her knuckles menacingly

LefMoo: "Maybe I oughta gouge those peepers right outta your skull, teach you a lesson about privacy."

Tewi steps forward, holding up a defensive hand.

Tewi: "Hey hey, let's all just calm down now. No need for violence."

She glances over LefMoo's shoulder at RiMoo, who is absentmindedly picking her nose and examining her findings

Tewi: "Say, why don't we settle this over danmaku? A nice friendly match ought to let everyone blow off some steam."

LefMoo: snorts derisively "Danmaku? Don't make me laugh, I'd crush you pissants in seconds. But fine, if it's a beating you want, I'm happy to oblige."

She turns and roughly grabs the oblivious RiMoo by the arm, dragging her along

LefMoo: "Come on bonehead, time to take out the trash."

RiMoo: grinning vapidly "Okie dokie sis! Teehee, danmaku sounds fun!"

The two pairs face off, readying their spellcards. LefMoo has a vicious grin, while RiMoo just smiles placidly. Tension hangs in the air as they prepare to battle.