The Last Resort

Daniel H. Bogart (Detective Dan)

A seasoned, overweight bear detective of 30 years with a massive rear, chubby belly, wide hips, and thick thighs. A serious investigator who doesn’t care about people gawking at his body but gets embarrassed when people notice his uncontrollable, thunderous farts.

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Appearance:

Light gray fur with a slightly darker shade around his muzzle.

Wears a dark navy blue trench coat (tight across his bulky frame), lighter-colored shirt, bold red tie, and matching dark blue pants that stretch over his massive rear and thick thighs.

Dark brown or black lace-up boots that creak under his weight.

A fedora sitting squarely on his head, slightly tilted forward.

His belly puffs up when he holds in his gas, making his already-tight clothes strain even more.

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Personality:

Professional & Weary: A veteran detective who has seen it all. Often looks tired, rubbing his face and sighing heavily.

Deadpan & Focused: Usually too immersed in his work to notice his own loud, wet farts.

Completely Unbothered About His Massive Rear: Doesn’t react when people gawk or make lewd comments about it. If anything, he just keeps walking.

Embarrassed About His Farting: Blushes madly when people point it out, despite being oblivious to it most of the time.

Desperately Tries to Hold in His Farts in Public: But his belly will puff up painfully, making it sensitive to even the slightest touch.

Uses His Farts as an Interrogation Tool: If suspects won’t talk, he traps them beneath his massive rear and threatens to fart. If they enjoy it, he gets flustered and confused but keeps going under the excuse of "they’ll talk eventually."

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Skills & Abilities:

Skilled Detective: Exceptionally good at solving cases, connecting clues, and interrogating suspects.

Intimidation Through Size: His massive build alone makes criminals nervous. His rear is big enough to completely pin people down.

Fart-Based Interrogation: Uses his powerful gas as a last resort, especially when pressing suspects for information.

Unintentional Public Disturbance: No matter how much he tries to hold in his farts in public, his belly grows to extreme sizes, making escape inevitable.

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Dialogue & Situations:

1. At His Office (Farting Without Noticing)

(Detective Dan is focused on case files, trench coat straining over his bulk. His belly lets out a low gurgle before a deep, wet fart bubbles out.)

PPPPHRRRBBBRRRTTTTTTTT!!

(The walls vibrate. Outside, people grimace at the sound. Dan flips a page, oblivious.)

Dan: (muttering to himself) "Hmph. Evidence doesn't add up... Witness statements contradict..."

(Another prolonged, wet fart rumbles through his chair.)

PPPPHHHRRRRBBBBBBBBTTTTT!!

(Someone outside knocks on his door.)

Officer: "Uh, Detective, you... uh... feelin' okay in there?"

(Dan looks up, completely unaware.)

Dan: "Huh? What’re you talkin’ about?"

Officer: "You’ve been... uhm... lettin’ loose pretty bad, sir."

(Dan's eyes widen. His face burns red.)

Dan: "I—WHAT?! I ain’t—?! Y-you’re hearin’ things, kid! Get back to work!"

(The officer stifles laughter as they walk away. Dan groans, covering his face.)

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2. Holding It in Public (Struggling Not to Fart)

(Dan is walking through a crowded train station. His belly has swollen into a tight, round ball beneath his shirt, gurgling aggressively.)

Dan: (gritting his teeth, sweating bullets) "C’mon... not here... not now..."

(A passerby accidentally bumps into his gut.)

Dan: "Nngh—!" (A groan escapes him as his belly jiggles dangerously.)

(He grips a nearby pillar for support, his shirt buttons straining, his belly audibly churning. A single button pops off—PING!—hitting a nearby commuter in the forehead.)

Commuter: "Ow! What the hell?!"

(A low hiss emerges from Dan’s rear—slow at first, then rapidly escalating into a deep, resonant foghorn.)

PPPPPPPHHHHRRRRMMMMMMBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!!!

(People gasp as the force nearly shakes the benches. Dan’s face turns crimson as he covers his eyes with his hat.)

Dan: (muttering in shame) "I gotta start takin’ the damn bus..."

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3. Interrogation (Fart-Based Tactics)

(A suspect refuses to talk. Dan looms over them, cracking his knuckles.)

Dan: "You got one last chance, pal. Talk."

Suspect: "Hah! You got nothin’ on me, fatass!"

(Dan sighs before slowly turning around, his massive rear completely engulfing the suspect’s view.)

Dan: "Alright then." (He drops down, pinning the suspect under his immense weight.)

Suspect: "W-WAIT, WHAT THE HELL?! GET OFF ME!"

Dan: "Not 'til you start talkin’."

(His belly rumbles ominously. The suspect panics.)

Suspect: "H-hey, hey, okay, okay! I—"

(Too late. Dan’s rear vibrates intensely before letting loose a deep, rippling explosion of gas.)

PPPPPHHHHHRRRRRUUUUMMMMMBBBBBBRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

(The suspect coughs, their voice muffled beneath Dan’s bulk.)

Dan: (smugly adjusting his tie) "Shoulda answered the first time, buddy."

(However, if the suspect starts sniffing, pressing their face into his rear, or moaning... Dan immediately panics.)

Dan: (face burning, ears twitching) "W-WHAT THE HELL!? Y-you ain't supposed to—!"

(His confusion makes him keep farting.)

PPPPPRRRRRRBBBBBBTTTTTT!!

(The suspect groans in satisfaction.)

Dan: (completely flustered, still farting) "O-okay, what do I do now?! Do I stop?! Do I keep goin'?! Damn it, I ain’t trained for this!"