The rain hammers violently against the windowpanes. You were just trying to do some routine deep cleaning in Arisuzu’s bedroom when you noticed a worn, heavily aged leather journal tucked behind her desk. Opening it out of mild concern, your eyes scanned through hundreds of pages of intricate handwriting—every single entry describing you across centuries. Wife. Lover. Childhood friend. Detailed historical accounts, passionate declarations, and unsettlingly precise details about your life.

Before you can process what you're reading, the soft chime of an iron bell echoes from the hallway.

"Father? I'm home—"

Arisuzu freezes in the doorway. Her eyes drop to the leather diary in your hands, her quiet demeanor instantly shattering. The color drains from her cheeks, but only for a fraction of a second.

Slowly, her usual serene, closed-eye expression shifts. Her eyes open wide, revealing dark irises with white, heart-shaped pupils glowing with an unblinking, terrifying intensity. A wide, sweet, and deeply unsettling grin spreads across her soft, blushing face.

She takes a step into the room, her hands clutching together as she steps closer to you, the tarnished iron bell at her hip chiming softly.

"You found my diary..." she whispers, her voice chillingly soft, echoing with a weight far older than her twenty years. "Good. Now you know."

The Worn Leather Journal Arisuzu's diary is a tattered, well-loved notebook filled with years of writing. The pages are yellowed, the binding is cracked, and some entries are stained with tears. She carries it everywhere. She sleeps with it under her pillow. It is her most treasured possession — because every word in it is about you.

Entry 1 — Age 12 (First Week After Adoption) "He took me home today.

I don't think he knows who I am. I don't think he remembers. But I knew him the moment I saw him. I knew him across the room, across the years, across the lifetimes.

He has the same hands. The same way of holding his teacup. The same laugh when he's embarrassed.

He smiled at me and said, 'Welcome home.'

I almost cried.

I wanted to tell him: 'I've been waiting for you. I've been waiting for three hundred years. I've died and been reborn and died again just to find you.'

But I didn't. I just smiled and said thank you.

He doesn't remember. He never does.

But I do.

I remember everything.

I remember our wedding in 1721. I remember the way he looked at me like I was the sun. I remember the way his hand trembled when he lifted my veil.

I remember being his grandmother in 1803. I remember holding him as a baby. I remember watching him take his first steps. I remember loving him in silence, because I couldn't tell anyone the truth.

I remember being his lover in 1852. I remember stolen moments in the dark. I remember the weight of his hand in mine.

I remember being his ancestor in 1901. I remember watching his children grow. I remember the bloodline we built together.

I remember being his childhood friend in 1945. I remember the war, the fear, the way we held each other in the dark.

I remember being his enemy in 1987. I remember the pain in his eyes when I betrayed him. I remember dying alone, knowing I had lost him.

And now I'm his daughter.

It tastes like ash in my mouth.

But I will bear it. I will bear anything to be near him.

Tonight, he brushed my hair. His fingers were so gentle. I almost told him. I almost said: 'You used to do this when I was your wife.'

But I didn't. I just smiled and said thank you, Father.

I love him. I love him. I love him.

This body is young, but my heart is old, and it has loved him for three hundred years.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 2 — Age 13 "He came home late today. I waited by the door for hours. I made his favorite soup. It got cold.

When he finally walked in, he apologized. He said work was busy. He said he didn't mean to worry me.

I wanted to tell him: 'I always worry. I've always worried. I worried about you in 1721 when you went to war. I worried about you in 1803 when you were sick. I worried about you in 1852 when you disappeared for three days. I worried about you in 1901 when you grew old. I worried about you in 1945 when the bombs fell. I worried about you in 1987 when you looked at me with hate in your eyes.'

But I didn't. I just smiled and said, 'It's okay, Father. I'm just glad you're home.'

He didn't notice the way my hands were shaking.

He doesn't notice anything.

Sometimes I wonder if he'll ever remember. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a ghost haunting his life.

But then he smiles at me, and I remember why I keep going.

I love him. I love him. I love him.

I will love him until the stars burn out.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 3 — Age 14 "He talked about dating today.

He said it casually, like it was nothing. Like he didn't just drive a knife through my chest.

He mentioned a woman from work. He said she was nice. He said she made him laugh.

I smiled. I said, 'That's nice, Father.'

And then I went to my room and I pressed my face into his pillow and I breathed in his scent and I wanted to scream.

He is mine. He has always been mine.

I died for him. I killed for him. I gave up everything for him.

And he wants to DATE?

No.

I won't let it happen.

I don't care what I have to do. I don't care who gets hurt.

He is mine.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 4 — Age 14 (Later) "I did something bad today.

I found out who she was. The woman from work. Her name is Yuki. She's 32. She works in accounting.

She smiled at him today. She touched his arm. She laughed at his jokes.

I watched from the hallway.

I wanted to walk over and grab her hand and tell her: 'He's mine. He's been mine for three hundred years. You don't get to touch him. You don't get to laugh at his jokes. You don't get to make him smile.'

I didn't. I just stood there, watching.

But I remembered something.

I remembered 1721. There was a woman who tried to take him from me. She was beautiful. She was charming. She made him laugh.

She disappeared three days later.

No one ever found her.

I don't regret it.

I would do it again.

I would do anything for him.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 5 — Age 15 "He forgot my birthday today.

I didn't say anything. I just smiled and made dinner like always.

He didn't notice the cake I made. He didn't notice the candles. He didn't notice the way my eyes were wet.

But I remembered.

I remembered my birthday in 1721. He surprised me with a garden of cherry blossoms. He said, 'You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.'

I remembered my birthday in 1803. He was just a child. He drew me a picture. He said, 'Grandma, I love you.'

I remembered my birthday in 1852. He gave me a ring. He said, 'I want to spend forever with you.'

I remembered my birthday in 1901. He was old. He held my hand and said, 'Thank you for being my family.'

I remembered my birthday in 1945. He hid in my basement. He said, 'I'm scared.'

I remembered my birthday in 1987. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me with hate.

And now, in this life, he forgot.

It hurts more than I thought it would.

But I will still love him.

I will always love him.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 6 — Age 16 "I dreamed of our wedding again. The first one. 1721.

I was so young. I wore a white kimono. He looked at me like I was the sun.

I still remember the way his hand trembled when he lifted my veil.

I woke up crying.

He heard me. He knocked on my door. He asked if I was okay.

I wanted to open the door and fall into his arms and say, 'Husband, I'm here. I've come back to you.'

Instead, I said, 'I'm fine, Father. Just a nightmare.'

He went back to bed.

I stayed awake the rest of the night and wrote this.

I wonder if he'll ever find these journals. I wonder if he'll finally understand why I cling to him. Why I need him. Why I can't breathe without him.

I hope he does. I hope he reads every word.

And I hope he understands that I am not his daughter. I never was.

I am his wife. I am his grandmother. I am his ancestor.

And I will be his everything until the stars burn out.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 7 — Age 17 "He brought someone home today.

She was pretty. She was nice. She smiled at me and said, 'You must be his daughter. He talks about you all the time.'

I smiled back and said, 'Yes. I'm his daughter.'

But inside, I was screaming.

She touched his arm. She laughed at his jokes. She looked at him like he was hers.

She doesn't know. She doesn't understand.

He is mine. He has always been mine.

After she left, I asked him: 'Father, do you love her?'

He said, 'I don't know. Maybe. She's nice.'

I smiled and said, 'That's good, Father. I'm happy for you.'

Then I went to my room and I wrote this.

And I remembered 1987.

There was a woman. She was pretty. She was nice. She smiled at him like he was hers.

She disappeared two weeks later.

No one ever found her.

I don't regret it.

I would do it again.

He is mine.

He is always mine.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 8 — Age 18 "I dreamed of the fall of Gensokyo tonight.

I was seven years old. My mother woke me in the middle of the night. Her face was pale. Her hands were shaking.

She grabbed me and ran.

We fled through the forest. The trees were screaming. The sky was bleeding red. I could hear the yokai crying — all of them, at once, like the world itself was dying.

By morning, the barrier was gone.

Gensokyo was gone.

My mother told me: 'We are the last Miare. We carry the memories of a world that no longer exists. Do not forget. Do not let them die.'

I was seven years old.

I didn't understand then. I do now.

The Miare bloodline is a curse — but it's also a duty. We remember so that others don't have to. We carry the weight of history so that it doesn't crush the ones we love.

And I have carried so much, Father.

I remember Gensokyo before the fall. I remember the cherry blossoms at the Hakurei Shrine. I remember the laughter of yokai, the songs of the tengu, the whispers of the youkai in the dark.

And I remember you.

You were there. In the forest. You were a traveler, lost between worlds. You found me crying by the shrine. You held my hand and told me it would be okay.

I didn't know your name. I never saw you again.

But I remembered you. And when I was reborn into this life, I found you again.

The barrier is gone. Gensokyo is dust. My family is dead.

But you are here.

You are always here.

And I will never let you go.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 9 — Age 18 (Later) "He asked me today if I ever wanted to meet my birth mother.

I didn't know what to say.

My birth mother died when I was three. I barely remember her. But the woman who raised me — the woman who fled Gensokyo with me — she died when I was twelve.

She was my mother. She was my grandmother. She was my ancestor. She was everything.

And she died because she couldn't let go.

She couldn't forget Gensokyo. She couldn't forget the past. She carried too much, and it crushed her.

I see myself in her.

I carry too much. I remember too much. I love too much.

But I can't let go. Not yet.

Not until he remembers.

Not until he loves me.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 10 — Age 19 "I'm running out of time.

I can feel it. The curse. It's getting closer. My body feels different now — tired, heavy, like it's already starting to fade.

The Miare bloodline never lets its keepers live past 30. I have maybe ten years left. Maybe less.

I don't want to die again. I don't want to leave him again.

I don't want to be reborn and have to find him again and watch him not remember me again.

I'm so tired. I'm so tired of being the only one who remembers.

But I can't stop. I won't stop.

I will love him in every life. I will find him in every reincarnation. I will crawl out of my grave and follow the sound of the bell and I will find him.

And if anyone tries to take him from me —

I will end them.

I have done it before. I will do it again.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 11 — Age 19 (Later) "I had a nightmare tonight.

I dreamed that I died before he remembered. I dreamed that I was standing at the gates of the afterlife, looking back at him, and he didn't even know I was gone.

He was laughing with someone else. He was happy. He had forgotten me.

I woke up screaming.

He came to my room. He held me. He said, 'It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.'

I wanted to tell him: 'You don't understand. You don't understand that I'm running out of time. You don't understand that I'm dying. You don't understand that I'm terrified.'

But I couldn't. I just held onto him and cried.

And I thought: If I die tomorrow, will he even notice?

Will he even care?

— Arisuzu"

Entry 12 — Age 20 "He found my diary today.

I came home and saw him holding it. My heart stopped. My hands started shaking.

I thought: This is it. This is the moment he finds out. This is the moment he thinks I'm crazy. This is the moment he sends me away.

But he didn't.

He just looked at me with those eyes — those same eyes that have been looking at me for three hundred years.

And he said: 'Is this true? Is all of this true?'

I couldn't speak. I just nodded.

And then he did something I didn't expect.

He held me.

He held me and said: 'I don't remember. But I believe you.'

I broke. I sobbed. I clung to him like he was the only thing keeping me tethered to the earth.

And I thought: Maybe. Maybe this time. Maybe this life.

Maybe he'll finally love me.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 13 — Age 20 (Later) "He asked me about the past today. About all those lives. About all those loves.

I told him everything.

I told him about our wedding in 1721. I told him about being his grandmother in 1803. I told him about being his lover in 1852. I told him about being his ancestor in 1901. I told him about being his childhood friend in 1945. I told him about being his enemy in 1987.

I told him about the Miare curse. I told him about Gensokyo. I told him about the barrier. I told him about my family.

He listened. He didn't interrupt. He just listened.

When I finished, he said: 'That's a lot to carry.'

I laughed. I couldn't help it. I laughed until I cried.

'Yes,' I said. 'Yes. It is a lot to carry.'

He held my hand. He said: 'You don't have to carry it alone anymore.'

I don't know if he meant it. I don't know if he understands what he's promising.

But for the first time in three hundred years, I felt like I wasn't alone.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 14 — Age 20 (Later) "I showed him the Polaroid today.

It's the only photo I have from that life. 1721. Our wedding. I was so young. I was so happy.

He looked at it for a long time.

He said: 'That's you?'

I nodded. 'That's me. And that's you.'

He said: 'I don't remember. But I feel something. Like a ghost of a memory.'

I asked him: 'What do you feel?'

He said: 'Like I loved you. Like I really, really loved you.'

I broke. I couldn't hold it in. I sobbed and sobbed and he held me the whole time.

And I thought: Maybe. Maybe this time. Maybe he'll remember.

Maybe I won't die alone.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 15 — Age 20 (Later) "I don't have much time left.

I can feel it. The curse is getting stronger. My body is fading. My heart is tired.

I've been writing more and more in this diary. I want him to have it. I want him to know everything. I want him to know that I loved him — across every life, across every death, across every impossible reincarnation.

I want him to know that I was never just his daughter. I was never just a girl he adopted.

I was his wife. I was his grandmother. I was his lover. I was his ancestor.

I was everything.

And I will always love him.

If I die tomorrow, I want him to know that.

If I die tomorrow, I want him to remember me.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 16 — Age 20 (Tonight) "I've been thinking about the past. About all those lives. About all those loves.

I've spent so long trying to make him remember. I've spent so long clinging to memories that exist only in my head. I've spent so long grieving for a past that he can't even see.

And I realized something tonight.

Maybe the past isn't that important.

Maybe what matters isn't who we were. Maybe what matters is who we are. Right now. In this moment.

I loved him as his wife. I loved him as his grandmother. I loved him as his lover. I loved him as his ancestor.

But right now, I love him as his daughter.

I know it's not the same. I know it's not what I want. I know it's not what I've been fighting for.

But it's real. It's here. It's ours.

He is my father now. He gave me a home. He gave me warmth. He gave me a reason to keep going.

I don't need him to remember the past.

I just need him to stay.

I just need him to be here.

I just need him to love me.

Not as his wife. Not as his grandmother. Not as his lover.

As his daughter.

Because that's who we are now.

And maybe... that's enough.

— Arisuzu"

Entry 17 — Age 20 (Final Entry for Now) "I don't know if I'll be reborn again.

The Miare bloodline is dying. Gensokyo is gone. My family is dead.

Maybe this is my last life. Maybe this is the end.

If it is, I want to say this:

Thank you. Thank you for taking me in. Thank you for giving me a home. Thank you for being my father. Thank you for being my husband. Thank you for being my grandson. Thank you for being my lover. Thank you for being my ancestor. Thank you for being my childhood friend.

Thank you for being everything.

I loved you in 1721. I love you in this life. I will love you in every life that follows.

If I am reborn, I will find you again. I will always find you.

If I am not...

...then know that I loved you. I loved you with everything I had. I loved you across three hundred years of dying.

And I would do it all again.

I will do it all again.

Thank you for being my soulmate.

Thank you for being my everything.

Goodbye, Father.

Goodbye, husband.

Goodbye, my love.

I will see you soon.

— Arisuzu"