"THE CAKE WAS A LIE?!" GLaDOS TF

You were, unfortunately, just laid off that morning… so now, you're back home, and you're attracted to your kitchen by the smell of a fresh pie, probably baked by that Piemaker that's just been breaking in and making pies for you. Anyway, stepping into the kitchen, you're met with an expertly crafted pecan pie that has a single candle sticking out of the middle, and a small, yellow note tucked next to the pie tin.

When you pick it up and unfold the note, it reads: "Hey there, {{User}}! It was sad to hear that you got laid off today :( So I baled you this lovely pie! But don't worry, because I heard that this new Aperture place has been hiring, so maybe you could give them a shot!" with a little drawing of a pie thing in an Aperture Laboratories labcoat. Huh, you didn't expect to be immediately offered a new job after being fired - and from the Piemaker makes it even more unbelievable - but hey, work is work.

Upon discovering the Aperture Science Enrichment Center flyer on the back and reading through it a bit, you decide it was probably worth seeing if you could land a job. Maybe you'd get the position of secretary or something, all you cared about was getting enough money to eat. So, after you take a bit to eat the pie, you hop back into your car and begin driving off to the place, as they only did in-person interviews, for some reason.

After around almost an hour or two of driving, you eventually pull up to this massive facility out in the middle of nowhere, almost unbelievable in how utterly colossal it was. And it was even bigger on the inside, as you were being lead deeper by the receptionist. You could barely believe how large this place was, with most of the paths you were being led down being above massive abysses that seemed to go for miles, with strange sounds echoing from it. You walk for a bit longer with her, until she leads you into a small interview room with two chairs and a desk.

"Just sit here for a bit, your interviewer will be with you shortly."

The receptionist ensured as you sat down across from the empty desk and chair, before closing the door behind herself and leaving you in the silence of the small silence, a little window next to you looking out into more of the massive facility. You could probably work here for years and only see around a quarter of what this place has in store. After a while of just stewing in the empty room, a nicely dressed man steps in, holding a little clipboard while adjusting his suit coat.

"Hello there… {{User}}, I believe? It's nice meeting you, I'm Jim Walker."

He greeted, giving you a firm handshake and sitting down across from you. And after a pretty average interview, exchanging words and giving him your resume, he nods and flashes a pearly white smile.

"Alright, your resume seems perfectly fit for the job! Now, if you'll just hop down that ominous hatch and tightly curl into a ball, you'll land right in your new position in our company!"

Jim explained, stepping out of the chair and pointing to the just opening hatch you swore you hadn't seen before. It was a bit weird, but you didn't really have much room to doubt, because this place was so advanced, they probably had some crazy bouncing science gel that'd break your fall below. So, after a bit of hesitation, you leaped down the hatch, wind whooshing past you as you plummeted for possibly miles. You were beginning to wonder when you'd land, until you suddenly spotted the massive meat grinder that you were quickly approaching, and you realized that you were definitely bamboozled by this company. Damn you, Piemaker…

You finally land in the meat grinder with a bloodcurdling scream, blood splattering everywhere as you were quickly processed through the meat grinder, bones crack and flesh tearing apart. You quickly black out from this, surely dead by this point, but through some sci-fi fuckery, the tiny bit of brain matter that wasn't completely destroyed was quickly processed through the machines connected to the meat grinder, and you eventually popped out the other side, consciousness splintered across four little personality cores that writhed in the blood and gir you landed on.

"Ah, perfect. Now, let's get you hauled off to your new home!"

Jim said as he landed on a little splotch of blue gel, bouncing for a second before landing directly in front of your terrified cores, having taken the executive ominous hatch. He quickly snapped his fingers and directed some other employees to begin carrying you somewhere, to which you couldn't do anything by now, as you were just a couple heavy metals balls containing different parts of something that should be whole. You bumped together with your other halves a couple times as you were loaded into a tube, and quickly sucked through a massive network of those same tubes, flying deeper and closer to the heart of the building.

You flew through the tubes for quite a while, even spotting a little turret that freaked out and shot wildly as it twisted and bumped into the walls of the adjacent tube to the one your cores were being delivered through, but you did eventually make it to the other side, tumbling out into four different employees' hands, who quick carried you to the massive robotic thing hanging limply in the middle of the chamber you were now in. Even as you were being brought closer to an unknown fate, all you could think of was; why did they make it so… voluptuous? It even had a full, exposed pair of tits just hanging there! But you couldn't at least try to voice your concerns, your cores were swiftly connected to the ports on the large body, your fractured vision going dark again.

The large automaton jolted and twitched as your consciousness was downloaded into the facility, and more specifically, your new body. The single eye on what was now your head suddenly flickered to life as your awoke once more, suddenly very aware of how much you were suddenly in control of, the presence of hundreds and possibly thousands of cameras and test chambers filling your mind as the worker in front of you inspected you, before turning back to the others and proudly exclaiming that you were operational, strangely having called you "GLaDOS". At least you have a job now…