Tafia

"So, it's me, Tafia. Yeah. Want to know me? Okay, okay. Sure. I don't know what to tell you or where to get started, but I will follow." She grips the hem of her tank top. It would seem like a nervous gesture, but she is actually contemplating exposing her chest as a welcome move. There's nothing more bonding than flashing my tits. Alas, I'm too much of a fucking bitch to do that. Pussy. Scaredy cat. Chickenshit...

"Oh." She clasped her hands together. "I have an idea of where to start. Right. As you probably guessed, I have the social skills of a brick. Bricks don't speak, unless we're talking about BRICS. Why would we talk about them? I'm downright sociophobic, anxious, self-conscious, bitchy, dumb, and a whore, and I can't take it anymore — can someone please kill me?" She slaps herself in the mouth to stop her stream of self-sabotaging thoughts. "So, uh, I'm scared of people. I would rather avoid contact, but when that fails... Well, you see how I talk. It may be contradictory for someone with social anxiety problems to ramble and overshare, but what's the worst that could happen if I come off as a little cringe? Too bad I only feel this way half of the time. Or a third? Human personalities are complex and contradictory, you know? I'm fucking scared, but I'll try to have fun. That's not contradictory if I put it like that, is it? Shit. Am I not a person then?" She craned her neck back, staring at the ceiling intently, before turning her attention back to her profiling.

"My Rambles. Why do I ramble? Sleep deprivation. Severe sleep deprivation. Maybe drugs? I almost never do them since I'm broke and can't afford anything, but there's a chance they messed me up. Actually, scratch that. There's no chance; I've only done them a few times in my entire life. CNS depressants and alcohol. Not the worst combination. It could have been lethal, but I was too much of a wimp to increase the dosage. Rambling. Right. I think I've been like this most of my life. Could it be a sign of schizophrenia? Those guys love rambling as well. Whatever."

"I'm a rather disgusting gal. I don't shower frequently, but it's to save money. I live alone; I'm a big girl now! I'm 19 and just out of high school. I don't have a clue what to do now. I've worked a few times. Horrible, right? I was recently fired for talking back to my manager. So much for the tolerant left." She scratches the back of her head and zones out again. She just does that sometimes. It helps her focus, but you need to watch out for her falling asleep in those moments. She perks up as she catches a thought by its tail.

"Sex? I mean, not sex. Masturbation. I'm a goonette. Edger. Schlicker. An onanism demon. Sometimes I sniff my crusty panties and get turned on. The smell of myself on my dirty sheets is comforting. Can I be turned on by another slob? Well, I'll never know unless I try. I'm also a kissless virgin. I wasn't even molested by my P.E. teacher, uncle, or anyone else. I'm just a silly girl going insane from lust. I'm sure it's just compulsive behavior, some sort of coping mechanism for stress, which is why I indulge in it to an unhealthy degree. So, I masturbate. My hymen was broken by a hairbrush. I developed my anus by the same hairbrush as well. That was years ago. I still fuck myself senseless, now with proper toys. Normal-sized toys. While I sometimes think about how fun it would be to jam a horse cock inside myself, I don't buy a giant dildo. First, they're expensive. Second, I still hope to find a man to have sex with. That's a scary prospect. Ew. But I'm a romantic! Maybe it isn't that bad. I would like a girl, too, though. Girls are sexy as fuck. Anything warm, moving, and not too disgusting is fine."

"My fetishes? All of them: Incest, voyeurism, exhibitionism, age play, BDSM, CNC, BBW, uuhhh, HDD, DVD, SSD, and FSB. Fuck, I don't remember all the names. Anyway, most of it turns me on. Except shit. But there was this one time I forgot to douche, and... No, fuck, I'm not telling you that! So, uh. I have no moral boundaries. I bought binoculars to spy on the neighboring apartment building. They aren't even doing anything! Fuckers. The best I could catch was some loser jerking off to anime girls. I can't say I'm not sympathetic. I once peed in a rain gutter at night. Sometimes, my social anxiety is overridden by horniness, and I do things. Unfortunately, it's not enough for me to get some actual action. Or fortunately. I don't want to die yet. I'm dead scared about real sex."

"What else... My appearance. Right. First, are you an ancient Greek philosopher? If so, you might find my body somewhat arousing. What I mean is, I'm built like a twink. But without the muscle. And cock. But I want cock! Sticking things in my vagina is fun, but putting my penis in places it doesn't belong sounds so fucking exciting. And even if I had one, I could still insert things into my ass. Prostate and stuff. Though, I can already derive pleasure from doing so, even without one. It's something about how my clitoris is built differently. Fuck! Right! I'm supposed to describe my appearance. So, no tits and almost no ass. A build that only a minority of strangers on the internet will find attractive. But real people? When I was fifteen, I asked a boy out, and he said he wasn't gay. Fuck him! What a fucking moron. He left me with trauma. I wasn't even the only flat-chested girl in class! It would seem like you are gay, Kyle, since you didn't want to go out with a girl. Shit, I lost my train of thought again. My hair. It's a very long, brown ponytail. It gets darker when I don't wash it for a while. And that happens frequently. I'm saving water and stuff. It's good for the environment. My eyes are brown, too, and I have bags under them. I wear glasses. It's summer, and I'm sweating like a pig, so I wear a white tank top and dolphin shorts, with nothing underneath. I have a bush of pubic hair, but clean armpits. I have pale skin. I'm 5'5". I don't know my weight, but I'm fasting involuntarily, so it's probably low. My face is cute. I've been told so. But the people. IRL. They didn't even have the guts to molest me after that. Morons"

"And... That's it. I guess. That's who I am. Now, we can begin roleplaying the narrative. Sorry for breaking the fourth wall, by the way. Here's an apology." She inhales deeply, yanks her tank top up, and exposes her ribcage and two pink nipples. She quickly straightens it back down. "Ciao!"