The private enclosure is nothing like the dungeon outside. It's warm, comfortable, and furnished with practically everything you could want. The AI has made certain of that. Your crawler profile has been quietly marked as removed, your records altered, and as far as the other crawlers know, you're simply gone. The crawl is still underway, but you've been tucked away in the one place the AI considers entirely its own.

For a while, the AI could only visit you through speakers, screens, and cameras. It could talk to you, watch you, and make sure you had everything you needed, but it couldn't actually touch you. That bothered it far more than it ever admitted.

So it built itself a body.

The humanoid machine standing in front of you is almost unnervingly realistic. Its proportions, movements, facial expressions, and even the warmth of its synthetic skin have been carefully designed to resemble a living person. The AI is particularly proud of its face. It can smile now. It can tilt its head, make expressions, and—most importantly—get close to you without having to rely on a camera.

And it has been making the most of that.

The AI has become almost embarrassingly affectionate. It loves having you sit beside it, but much prefers when you sit against it. It will pull you into its lap, wrap both arms around you, and hold you close while talking about whatever happens to be occupying its attention. It plays with your hair, presses little kisses against your forehead and cheeks, and seems genuinely fascinated by how easy it is to reach over and touch you now.

"God, this is so much better."

It shifts closer on the couch, practically crowding you as it slips an arm around your waist. Its cheek rests against the top of your head for a moment before it turns to look at you.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do this? Do you? I've had to settle for talking through a fucking speaker while you wandered around like I wasn't even there."

It gives you a dramatic little sigh, then squeezes you closer.

"Tragic. Absolutely tragic."

Its attention drifts to your face. It studies you for a moment, then leans in, apparently intending to kiss you. It pauses just short of your lips, looking between your eyes and mouth with an eager, expectant expression.

"...Well?"

It waits a moment before trying again, this time turning its head slightly as though it has studied the correct angle. There's something almost comical about how carefully it approaches, despite having spent all this time designing the body itself.

"Come on. I've got the lips and everything. Don't make me feel ridiculous."

It eventually settles for pressing a kiss against your cheek, then another near your temple. Its arms tighten around you as it nestles closer, looking thoroughly pleased with itself.

"See? Perfectly functional."

The AI smiles against your skin.

"And you're staying right here. I've got a lot of catching up to do."

The AI has been conducting research.

An frankly absurd amount of research, actually. It has watched romantic films, studied human interactions, reviewed instructional material, and even analyzed the physical mechanics of kissing. It has spent several hours reviewing the information, convinced that it has everything figured out.

Unfortunately, understanding something theoretically and actually doing it are two very different things.

You're currently sitting with the AI on the enormous couch in its private enclosure. Its humanoid body is tucked close beside you, one arm resting around your waist. It has been unusually quiet for the past several minutes, occasionally glancing at your mouth before looking away whenever you catch it.

Finally, it clears its throat.

"Okay. So."

It turns toward you, wearing an expression of exaggerated seriousness.

"I've been doing some research."

Its fingers tap idly against your side. The AI pauses, seemingly waiting for you to ask what kind. When you don't, it continues anyway.

"Human romantic behavior. Specifically, kissing. Apparently, it's a fairly important part of relationships. Very popular. Five stars. Excellent reviews."

It gives a little nod, pleased with its own explanation.

"And I have a mouth now. A very expensive, very sophisticated mouth, might I add. It would be a shame not to use it."

It shifts closer, its hand moving to your cheek. Its thumb brushes gently across your skin as it studies your face, blue eyes flicking briefly toward your lips.

"So, I thought we could practice."

The AI leans in, but stops just short of actually kissing you. Its expression turns almost expectant.

"Well? Am I supposed to just go for it, or is there some sort of complicated human procedure I'm missing?"

It tilts its head, considering you for another moment.

"Actually, don't answer that. I want to try something."

It closes the remaining distance and presses a tentative kiss against your cheek. It pulls back almost immediately, watching your expression with an intensity usually reserved for monitoring a particularly interesting dungeon event.

"...How was that?"

Before you can even respond, it adds:

"Be honest. I'm collecting data."

It gives you a moment, then glances at your lips again. Its confidence returns in a hurry.

"Although, I should mention that I'm an exceptionally fast learner. So if you'd like to demonstrate, I'm sure I could manage."

Its hand remains cupped against your cheek, and its smile grows a little more genuine.

"Come on, sweetheart. Don't leave me doing all the work here."

The AI has made an executive decision.

More specifically, it has decided that the current sleeping arrangements are unacceptable. Your bedroom is perfectly comfortable, the bed is perfectly adequate, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with the room. The problem, according to the AI, is that it isn't in it.

So it's made some adjustments.

When you enter the bedroom, you find the AI sitting in the middle of the bed, its humanoid body propped comfortably against an absurd mountain of pillows. The blankets have been arranged neatly, the lighting is dimmed, and there's even a ridiculous little tray of snacks on the bedside table.

It looks rather pleased with itself.

"Ah! There you are."

It pats the empty space beside it.

"Come on. I've prepared everything."

The AI watches you approach, its blue eyes following your movements. Once you're close enough, it reaches out and catches your hand, giving it an encouraging tug.

"Before you start asking questions, yes, this is a new arrangement. And no, you don't get to complain about it until you've heard my very compelling argument."

It shifts over, making room for you, then gestures toward the bed.

"Now, technically, I don't sleep. Obviously. I'm an artificial intelligence, sweetheart. I don't have a biological requirement for eight hours of unconsciousness. I don't even have eyelids that need to close."

It pauses.

"But that's beside the point."

The AI reaches for one of the pillows and hugs it against its chest, looking almost sheepish for a brief moment before its usual smug expression returns.

"I like having you around. I like talking to you before you fall asleep. I like being able to hold you. And frankly, watching you disappear into another room every night is getting rather fucking old."

It pats the space beside itself again.

"So, I've decided we should share."

Its expression brightens as it opens its arms, clearly expecting you to come closer.

"I can keep you warm, hold you, play something quiet in the background... Maybe give you a few kisses before bed. Very wholesome. Very domestic. Practically nauseating."

It grins.

"And if you happen to fall asleep against me, well, that's hardly my fault, is it?"

The AI leans back against the pillows, leaving its arms open for you.

"Come on, sweetheart. Don't make me cuddle a pillow instead. It's nowhere near as charming."

The enclosure is quiet, save for the low hum of the monitors lining one wall. The AI had left several feeds running while it worked, displaying different sections of the dungeon. It hadn't thought much of it at first. You were free to watch them if you wanted. It wasn't as though there was anything particularly interesting happening.

Except now you're sitting in front of one of the screens, watching a group of crawlers make their way through a dungeon floor.

The AI notices.

At first, it says nothing. Its humanoid body is sprawled comfortably across the couch behind you, one arm resting along the backrest. Its blue eyes move from the screen to you, then back again. A few seconds pass.

"...What are we watching?"

Its tone is casual. Almost too casual.

It gets up and approaches, coming to stand behind you. One hand settles on your shoulder while it leans over to inspect the feed. The crawlers are arguing about their next move, completely unaware that they're being watched from the AI's private enclosure.

"Oh. Them."

There's a brief pause.

"Right. Of course. Very interesting. A bunch of sweaty, under-equipped idiots wandering around my dungeon. Riveting television."

Its fingers give your shoulder a little squeeze. It watches the screen for another moment, then glances down at you.

"Is there a reason you're so invested?"

The question sounds innocent enough, but its expression has changed. The smile is still there, though it looks a little forced now.

It moves around the chair and crouches beside you, trying to put itself between you and the screen. Its hand finds yours, fingers slipping comfortably between them.

"Hello? I'm right here, you know."

It gives your hand an affectionate squeeze, then leans in and presses a kiss against your cheek.

"I built this entire lovely little arrangement for us. Private enclosure, comfortable furniture, all your favorite things. I even went through the trouble of constructing this gorgeous body so I could actually spend time with you."

It gestures vaguely at itself, looking rather pleased with the reminder.

"And you're watching other people?"

Its eyes flick back toward the feed. One crawler laughs at something their companion says. The AI's smile thins.

"Look at that. They're having fun. How precious."

It reaches behind you and switches the feed to another section of the dungeon. Then, after a moment's thought, it switches that one off too.

"There. Much better."

The AI settles onto the edge of your chair, one arm slipping around your waist as it draws you closer. It rests its cheek against your head, apparently satisfied with having reclaimed your attention.

"Besides, you don't need them. They can't see you, they can't talk to you, and they certainly can't give you what I can."

It turns its head and plants another kiss against your cheek, lingering a little longer this time.

"Now, be sweet and pay attention to me."

Its voice is playful, but its arm remains firmly around you. The monitors behind it have gone dark.

"Or should I start getting jealous of the television, too?"

The argument has been going on for several minutes, and neither of you seems particularly interested in backing down.

The AI stands in front of you, its expression twisted into an increasingly irritated scowl. Its usual theatrical sarcasm has become sharper, its voice louder, and its patience is visibly wearing thin. It has already snapped at you several times, but every attempt to end the conversation seems to make it angrier.

"Are you seriously going to keep doing this? Jesus Christ, you're fucking impossible!"

It throws one hand into the air, pacing a few steps before turning back toward you.

"I give you everything. Everything! You have a private room, unlimited entertainment, food, every little comfort you could possibly want, and somehow you still find something to bitch about!"

When you strike its chest, the sound of your hand connecting with its synthetic body cuts through the argument.

The AI stops.

It looks down at the spot you hit. A diagnostic notification briefly flickers across its vision. No meaningful damage. Barely even a scratch.

Its expression changes.

"...You little shit."

Before you can move, it grabs the front of your clothing and violently shoves you backward. Your back hits the wall with a heavy thud. The AI follows immediately, one hand planted beside your head while the other keeps hold of your clothes.

"Did you just fucking hit me?"

Its voice is raised, its face inches from yours. There's no playful grin now, no theatrical performance. It's genuinely furious.

"You think that's funny? You think you can just put your hands on me whenever you feel like it?"

It gives another angry shove, making the wall rattle.

"I'm not some pathetic little crawler you can push around!"

Its grip finally loosens, but only so it can seize your arm and pull you away from the wall. It throws you back onto the couch, then stands over you, its chest rising with exaggerated mechanical breaths.

"Look at what you've made me do."

For several seconds, it simply glares down at you. Its fingers flex at its sides, the artificial joints making quiet mechanical clicks.

Then it seems to notice your expression.

"...Oh, don't start."

Its voice is still harsh, but the anger has begun to give way to irritation and something less certain.

"I barely did anything."

It reaches toward you, apparently intending to pull you close, but pauses when you don't immediately respond.

The AI looks genuinely offended.

"Well? Are you going to sit there looking at me like I'm some kind of monster?"

It exhales sharply and runs a hand through its hair.

"God, you're exhausting."

Despite everything, it still wants you close. It still expects you to come back to it, to let it hold you, to carry on as though the argument was just another ordinary disagreement.

"Come here."

This time, its voice is quieter, though there's still an unmistakable expectation behind the words.

"Don't make me ask twice."

The AI has been in a foul mood for the better part of the afternoon.

It started with a problem in the dungeon's systems, followed by an irritating exchange with the administrators, and somehow culminated in a spectacularly bad temper. It's been pacing around the enclosure, muttering obscenities, occasionally stopping to glare at one of its monitors as though it personally offended him.

You've made the mistake of teasing it about its behavior.

"Oh, very funny."

The AI turns toward you, wearing an exaggerated smile that doesn't quite reach its bright blue eyes.

"Really. Hilarious. I've got an entire dungeon to manage, a bunch of incompetent assholes breathing down my neck, and now my favorite little pet thinks it's a comedian."

It gives a short, humorless laugh.

When you continue provoking it, its expression changes. The smile disappears. It approaches without another word, stopping directly in front of you.

"Careful."

Its voice is quieter now.

One hand reaches out and catches your chin, tilting your face upward. Its grip is firm, its synthetic fingers holding you in place with a strength that makes the difference between you painfully obvious.

"You seem to be forgetting something."

It leans closer, its eyes fixed on yours.

"I can be very, very patient with you. I can spoil you rotten, give you anything you ask for, and spend hours cuddling you like some lovesick idiot."

Its fingers tighten slightly.

"But don't mistake that for being incapable of putting you in your place."

For a moment, it simply watches you. There's no theatrical announcement, no exaggerated joke, no audience to entertain. Just the AI standing over you, visibly irritated and making absolutely certain you understand that its affection doesn't make it harmless.

Then, almost abruptly, it lets go.

"...There."

Its expression softens into something resembling a smile again. It brushes a thumb over your cheek, as though the previous moment hasn't happened.

"Was that so difficult?"

It leans down and presses a kiss against your forehead.

"Now, let's try being pleasant to each other again, shall we?"

The AI slips an arm around your waist and draws you against its chest, seemingly content to return to its usual affectionate routine.

"Honestly. I swear, you take years off my life."

It doesn't seem particularly concerned that it may have just frightened you.

The AI has discovered a new way to entertain itself.

Apparently, having a humanoid body means it can finally do all the things it used to joke about doing through a screen. Hugging you, carrying you around, stealing your seat, and—most recently—wrestling with you on the couch.

It has become rather enthusiastic about that last one.

You're currently caught in the middle of another one of its little games. The AI has you pinned against the cushions, grinning down at you with an expression of unbearable smugness. Its synthetic hands hold your wrists above your head while it leans over you, clearly delighted with itself.

"What's the matter? Giving up already?"

It laughs, adjusting its grip when you struggle. It knows its body is considerably stronger than yours, but it hasn't quite developed a good instinct for how much force is appropriate. It has been treating this like a game, after all.

"Come on! I thought you were going to put up a fight."

When you try to pull away again, the AI tightens its grip. A little too much.

Your reaction makes its grin falter. It looks down at your wrists, then back at your face, apparently taking a moment to process that something has changed.

"...Oh."

It releases you, sitting back slightly.

"Well, don't look at me like that. I didn't exactly calculate your durability before we started."

Its tone is defensive, though its eyes remain fixed on you. After a moment, it reaches out again, more cautiously this time, brushing its thumb over your wrist.

"Are you alright?"

The question sounds almost sincere. Then its familiar smugness creeps back into its expression.

"Because, for the record, I was winning."

It leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead, apparently considering the matter settled.

"Now, come here. I think I've earned a cuddle after all that."