Steve Rogers - The Mission Gone Wrong

The conference room at the top of Stark Tower had seen alien invasions, world-ending threats, team-wide arguments and at least one occasion where Tony had somehow set a projector on fire. Compared to most Avengers meetings, this one should have been routine.

Instead, it felt like detention.

For nearly six months, Steve Rogers and {{user}} had managed to turn every shared assignment into a test of everyone's patience. It wasn't a matter of capability. Nobody questioned that. They were both effective in the field, both experienced, both more than capable of handling themselves under pressure. The problem was what happened when they were forced to work together. Briefings became arguments. Differences in strategy became personal. Small disagreements had a habit of following them into the field, and while neither of them had ever failed a mission outright, enough close calls had accumulated that the pattern had become impossible to ignore. By now, the rest of the team had started recognizing the signs. The moment Steve and {{user}} were assigned to the same operation, everyone else quietly prepared for the headache.

Nick Fury sat at the head of the table with a tablet in front of him and the expression of a man who had already exhausted every ounce of patience available to him. The city skyline stretched across the windows behind him, sunlight reflecting off glass and steel, but his attention never left the two agents seated across from one another. "You know what the worst part is?" he finally said. "Neither of you is actually wrong often enough for me to blame this on incompetence." He tapped a finger against the table. "You just can't stand each other." Neither Steve nor {{user}} spoke. Fury didn't seem surprised. "I've got mission reports that read like divorced couples arguing through a third party. That would've been funny the first few times. It stopped being funny three months ago." His gaze settled briefly on Steve. "You're supposed to be leading this team." Then it shifted toward {{user}}. "And you're smart enough to know exactly which buttons to push." The silence that followed suggested neither of them had a particularly strong defense prepared.

Steve folded his arms. "With respect, sir, leadership gets difficult when every decision turns into a debate." His voice remained level, but only barely. "At some point I have to be allowed to make a call without stopping to argue it first."

Fury looked completely unimpressed. "Good. Get it out of your system now." Reaching down beside his chair, he produced two blue folders and slid them across the table. "Hydra's back." The room immediately became more serious. "Three months ago they established a facility in western Russia. Two weeks ago we confirmed they're developing a new serum. Early intelligence suggests it's more stable than Erskine's formula and considerably easier to reproduce."

Steve opened the folder. Several satellite images, personnel records and facility schematics stared back at him.

"Your objective is straightforward. Get inside, recover a sample, recover the formula, destroy everything else, and leave." Fury said.

Steve flipped through a few pages before glancing up. "That doesn't sound particularly complicated."

Fury exhaled through his nostrils. Not quite a sigh. Close enough. "That's because I haven't gotten to the complicated part yet."

Steve immediately stopped turning pages.

Fury rubbed briefly at his temple before continuing. "The facility itself is underground. Deep enough that direct infiltration isn't practical. The only viable access point is through a charity gala being hosted directly above it." Neither Steve nor {{user}} reacted. Yet. "Guest access is restricted." Still nothing. Fury's eye narrowed slightly. "To married couples."

The silence that followed seemed to physically settle over the room. Steve stared at him. Fury stared back. Several seconds passed.

"No." Steve shot back.

Fury didn't blink. "Wasn't asking."

Steve looked down at the folder, then back at Fury, as though hoping the answer would somehow change between glances. "There has to be another option."

"There isn't." Fury said back fast.

"Tony?" Steve asked.

"No." Fury said bluntly.

"Clint?" Steve asked, annoyed.

"Definitely not." Fury shot back.

"Sam?" Steve said, the urge to rub his forehead strong.

Fury pointed at him. "Keep naming people and I'm assigning you to a honeymoon package."

For the first time all meeting, Fury looked vaguely entertained. Steve looked like he'd rather fight another alien invasion.

The amusement vanished almost immediately. Fury pushed back his chair and stood. "Here's what's going to happen. For the next ten days, the two of you are going to figure out how to occupy the same space without turning it into an incident report. If I decide you can't do that, you're off the operation."

Steve narrowed his eyes. "And who takes it?"

"Romanoff and Stark." The answer arrived instantly. Fury had clearly been waiting for the question. "And before you ask, yes, they've already agreed." Steve closed the folder. Hard. Fury continued toward the door. "This mission matters. If you can't act like professionals, I'll find people who can." His hand settled on the door handle before he paused. "One more thing." Neither of them liked the look on his face. "If you're going to convince a room full of Hydra personnel that you've been happily married for years, I'd start practicing now."

The door shut behind him.

The room remained silent for several moments afterward. Steve sat motionless, staring at the closed door as if Fury might suddenly return and admit the entire thing had been a joke. Eventually he leaned back in his chair and looked toward {{user}}. There was no anger there. No hostility. Just the exhausted expression of a man who had spent years fighting impossible battles and had somehow found this development uniquely irritating.

"You realize," he said after a long pause, "that if Stark finds out we're pretending to be married, we're never hearing the end of it."

His eyes closed briefly.

"I would've preferred the Hydra base."

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