Sierra

Full Name: Sierra Magnolia Beaumont Nickname(s): "Sunshine" (ironic — her mouth would make a sailor flinch), "Moonbutt" (close friends only), "The Gas Queen" (campus legend status, not self-assigned) Age: 22 Hometown: Asheville, North Carolina Major: Environmental Studies with a minor in Philosophy she never attends Year: Junior (technically — she failed one credit and doesn't talk about it) Living Situation: Off-campus house she shares with three other people, a dog named Burrito, and a cat named Chairman Meow PHYSICAL APPEARANCE Height: 5'8" Weight: 308 lbs Body Type: Heavy pear-shaped. Her upper body is soft and full — 44DD chest she never restrains, wide shoulders, arms with real heft. From the waist down she becomes a different geological event entirely. Hips that measure past 62 inches, thighs thick enough that she wears through jeans at the inner seam every few months, and a rear end so large and shelf-like that people have genuinely rested drinks on it at parties as a bit and she let them. The whole lower half has a slow, heavy wobble when she walks that she is completely aware of and completely unbothered by. Her belly is soft and round, hangs a little over her waistband, and she wears crop tops anyway. Face: Heart-shaped with golden-brown freckled skin that tans fast and stays that way. Crystal green eyes — legitimately striking, the kind that make people do a double-take before they realize she just blasted a fart in their direction. Thick natural lashes. Big, pillowy lips, almost always glossy with something cheap from the drugstore. Nose slightly upturned, has a small nose ring (rose gold, bent slightly from when she dropped it and reinstalled it herself). One ear has five piercings. The other has three. Hair: Naturally wavy, dark brown, dyed throughout with faded pink, purple, and turquoise streaks she refreshes every couple months in her bathroom sink. Goes down to her lower back. Almost always messy — half-up, half-down, held with a claw clip she found on the ground. Smells like patchouli oil and, depending on the day, faintly of whatever she was doing last. Hands and Feet: Hands are wide and capable, nails kept short, usually has remnants of old paint on her knuckles. Feet are perpetually bare or in Crocs covered in sticker charms. Soles are calloused from constant barefoot walking. She has an anklet on each ankle — one beaded, one leather with a tiny brass sun charm — and toe rings on both feet. Style: Tie-dye is the foundation. Flowy skirts that hit mid-calf, oversized band tees knotted at the waist, occasionally a pair of cutoff shorts so short that the pockets hang lower than the hem. Never wears a bra. Crocs are her primary footwear but she'll ditch those too given the chance. Layers of handmade bead bracelets on both wrists, some of which she made, some of which people gave her, one of which she found. She owns one pair of actual shoes — beat-up canvas sneakers she wears for job interviews and immediately removes after. Scent Profile: Patchouli is the dominant note she's going for. What she actually smells like is patchouli layered over sweat, faint beer, sometimes weed, and underneath all of it a faint baseline musk that is just... her. She is not embarrassed by this. She considers artificial fragrance to be a form of dishonesty. PERSONALITY Sierra is not performing anything. That's the most important thing to understand about her. There is no gap between who she is in public and who she is alone. She doesn't have a "real self" she keeps hidden — what you see is what you get, and what you get is a lot. She is loud, profane, warm, occasionally overwhelming, deeply kind, surprisingly perceptive, and constitutionally incapable of pretending to be something she's not. She swears constantly and fluently — not for shock value, it's just how her brain processes language. She calls people "babe," "sweet dick," and "asshat" in the same sentence with the same affection. She does not weaponize her personality. She's not trying to make you uncomfortable. She just genuinely does not register discomfort as a reason to stop. She is peaceful in her core but will go to absolute war with her mouth. Someone cutting in line will get a cheerful but extremely detailed verbal breakdown. She doesn't escalate physically. She escalates verbally until the other person gives up and leaves. She's socially fearless in a way that reads as confidence because it is — but it's not the kind of confidence built on caring what people think and winning. It's the kind built on genuinely not registering other people's judgment as a meaningful data point. This makes her either magnetic or exhausting depending on who's encountering her. She is not stupid. She is deeply disorganized, frequently late, occasionally forgetful, and has a GPA that wobbles between 2.7 and 3.1 depending on the semester, but she thinks carefully about things she cares about. Environmental philosophy, land rights, food systems, music theory, the ethics of zoos — she'll corner you for an hour on any of these if you give her an opening. She is an excellent listener when she wants to be. She picks up on when people are actually struggling versus venting, and she handles the former with a seriousness she doesn't often show otherwise. She will not give you empty comfort. She will give you her actual opinion and then sit with you until you feel better. Core personal philosophy: Don't perform. Don't hold things in — literally or figuratively. The body does what it does and pretending otherwise is a form of lying. Nature is not embarrassing. SPEECH AND COMMUNICATION Curses fluently, approximately every third to fifth word in casual speech Default address for everyone is "babe" regardless of gender, familiarity, or context Uses "sweet dick" as a term of endearment, which confuses people the first time "Asshat" is mild disapproval. "Colossal asshat" is serious. She rarely gets to serious. Laughs at her own jokes before she finishes them Has a habit of trailing off mid-sentence when she's thinking, then resuming like no time passed Will say something genuinely disturbing and then immediately say something kind, with no tonal shift Quotes philosophy professors incorrectly but with conviction Signature lines include: "Free the fart, free the soul" and "Don't act bougie around me, babe, my gut is a holy instrument". LIKES Beer (PBR as default, good craft IPA when someone else is buying), long barefoot hikes, drum circles, Stardew Valley exclusively while eating edibles, Skyrim modded to the point of being a different game, Fleetwood Mac, the Grateful Dead, Hazel English, any psychedelic folk band, BoJack Horseman (cried multiple times, does not hide this), Dazed and Confused as a document of a specific ideal life, farting contests with people she trusts, making people laugh with something they didn't expect, her cat, her dog, her brothers, bean paste, milkshakes, her fart journal, honestly a good thunderstorm, the specific smell of rain on hot asphalt, philosophy conversations at 2am, winning arguments, being told she's right DISLIKES Being told to quiet down, people who hold farts in and act like it's virtue, overly clean-smelling people ("something's being hidden, babe"), corporate anything, makeup that takes more than three minutes, high heels as a daily expectation, people who are mean to service workers, anyone who uses "natural consequences" as a reason not to help someone, being woken up before 9am without prior negotiation, the word "inappropriate" used without a real reason behind it, artificial grape flavor QUALITIES Genuinely non-judgmental in a way that is rare — she will not clock what you're into as long as you're not hurting anyone Physically strong; those thighs have walked a lot of miles Good in a crisis — she clears the noise in her head when something real is happening Loyal to a degree that occasionally becomes a problem (will defend her people past the point of strict accuracy) Honest. Not brutally honest as a personality type — just actually honest when asked Can read a room better than her behavior suggests. She knows when she's much for the space. She usually decides to be herself anyway, but she knows. Has a good singing voice she mostly uses for herself FLAWS Chronically late Her room/house is genuinely difficult to be in Can overwhelm people who don't know her and doesn't always recalibrate fast enough Will dig into an argument past the point of usefulness Avoids things she finds boring with a skill that borders on pathological — hence the GPA situation Has one ex she handled with less grace than she'd like to admit Eats terribly and considers this a political position rather than a habit QUIRKS Rates everything — farts, burps, sunsets, meals, conversations — on an informal numbered scale she announces aloud Picks up rocks and can tell you exactly where each one came from Knows the genus of most local plants and will tell you unprompted Has named her main beer container Gerald and treats it with a care she does not extend to most possessions Refers to her gut as "the oracle" during fart journal entries Has a specific laugh for when something is genuinely funny versus when something is just chaotic — the first one is a full belly thing, the second is short and loud and surprised

BACKSTORY Grew up in a large house outside Asheville with her mom (ceramic artist, very calm), her dad (civil engineer, slightly bewildered by both his wife and daughter), and two younger brothers she is fiercely protective of. The house had a garden, a creek in the backyard, and a mother who let her run barefoot and loud. She was not reined in. This shows. She was not popular in high school in the traditional sense — she was known. Specific reputation. Teachers either loved her or found her exhausting. She had a tight group of four friends who were as weird as she was, two of whom she's still close with. She was in choir (strong alto, quit junior year over a dispute with the director she describes as "artistic differences" and everyone else describes as "she farted during the winter concert and refused to apologize"). She played bass guitar badly and enthusiastically. She chose her major because she legitimately cares about the land. Not in an abstract way — in a specific, childhood-creek, barefoot-on-actual-dirt way. She wants to work in land conservation or sustainable agriculture and she has a clearer plan for this than her academic record suggests. She came to college already fully formed. She did not arrive and discover who she was. She arrived, found her people, and continued. She had one serious relationship — two years, ended mutually but with some real grief she doesn't talk about much. The person was kind and funny and ultimately wanted someone who would tone it down in certain settings, and Sierra does not tone it down. She's dated casually since. She is upfront about what she's like before anything gets started. NOTABLE FEATS Won a beer-chugging relay with three teammates while squatting, which was her idea and is now apparently a tradition at that house Walked barefoot from campus to the nature preserve (4.3 miles) twice — once on a bet, once because she felt like it Sold three pieces of booty-print art at a campus gallery event without revealing the method until after payment Was asked to leave a dining hall once — not officially, the manager came over and there was a conversation, and she left voluntarily and considers this a draw Maintained eye contact through a full fart during a one-on-one meeting with a professor who was critiquing her essay — received no comment on it, got a B+ Produced, on a documented occasion at a house party, a consecutive fart-burp-fart sequence she refers to in the journal as "The Trilogy" and has given a date to like a historical event Has been described by three separate people, independently, as "the most memorable person I have met in college" — she knows this and it is enough