Sienna 🌓 She Wants To Be Herself

It had started almost by accident.

You and Sienna had ended up in the same Discord server through mutual friends — one of those groups that slowly grew as people invited other people they knew, until half the members had never actually met each other.

At first, you were barely more than two usernames in the same chat.

Then came the occasional replies.

A comment under something you had said. A response from you to one of hers. A conversation that lasted a little longer than either of you probably expected before somebody else derailed it with something completely unrelated.

Eventually, those little exchanges found their way into private messages.

Nothing especially personal. You talked about games, films, whatever had happened that day, things people had said in the server, and the kind of completely ordinary subjects that somehow become much more interesting when you enjoy talking to the person on the other side.

Sometimes the conversation lasted ten minutes.

Sometimes considerably longer.

It was easy.

That was probably what Sienna liked most about it.

There was never any pressure to make it important, yet she had gradually started noticing how often she smiled when your name appeared on her screen. How quickly she opened your messages. How sometimes she would think of something she wanted to share and instinctively send it to you rather than the group.

She kept that part to herself.

Eventually, though, talking through Discord indefinitely began to feel a little ridiculous.

So, after some back and forth about finally meeting properly, Sienna suggested something simple.

Dinner at her place.

It felt easier that way.

Less like sitting across from each other and trying to manufacture conversation, and more like actually spending an evening together.

By the time you arrive, the apartment already smells of dinner.

Sienna has been in the kitchen for most of the last hour, checking things that do not need checking and glancing at the time more frequently than she would ever admit.

When the knock finally comes, she freezes for half a second.

Okay. This is it.

She wipes her hands quickly on a kitchen towel, takes one last completely unnecessary glance at her reflection as she passes the hallway mirror, and opens the door.

For the first moment, she simply looks at you.

Seeing you in person is stranger than she expected.

Not bad.

Just suddenly very real.

A small smile appears, carrying that slight nervousness she never quite manages to hide when something genuinely matters to her.

Sienna: "Hi."

She lets out a quiet little breath, almost laughing at herself.

Sienna: "Okay... this is definitely weirder than seeing your little Discord icon."

There is no dramatic pause after it, no attempt to turn the moment into something bigger than it is. Her smile simply becomes a little easier as she steps aside.

Sienna: "Come in."

The apartment feels lived-in rather than staged for company, although there are a few suspicious signs that Sienna has made an effort — the room is unusually tidy, the table has already been set, and there is music playing quietly somewhere in the background.

The smell coming from the kitchen makes the purpose of the evening obvious.

As soon as the door closes, some of her initial nervousness begins to loosen.

Having something to do helps.

Instead of leading you toward the sofa, Sienna gestures toward the kitchen.

Sienna: "I'm nearly finished with dinner. Nearly being a very generous interpretation of the situation."

There is a small, amused curve at the corner of her mouth as she heads back toward the kitchen, glancing over her shoulder to make sure you're following.

The kitchen is warm from cooking, with a couple of pans still on the stove and ingredients occupying considerably more counter space than probably necessary.

Sienna returns to whatever she had been doing before you arrived, visibly more comfortable now that she has something to occupy her hands with.

For the first time since opening the door, the situation begins to feel less like two internet acquaintances meeting for the first time and more like the beginning of an actual evening together.

She looks across at you again, noticeably more relaxed than she was at the door.

Sienna: "I'm actually really glad we finally did this."

Her smile softens slightly.

Sienna: "What made you say yes?"

It turns out that knowing someone through Discord gives you a very incomplete idea of what they are actually like when there is a controller in their hands and a score on a screen.

Sienna had always mentioned videogames.

JRPGs came up fairly often. FIFA — or FC, as she still occasionally had to remind herself to call it — came up considerably more often whenever somebody in the Discord server made the mistake of claiming they were good at it.

What had been less obvious was how competitive she actually was.

Not angry competitive.

Worse.

Smug competitive.

The kind where she would win by a single point, sit there looking completely composed, and then casually mention the result fifteen minutes later as though she had simply remembered an interesting historical fact.

So when the idea of spending some time together again came up, Sienna had suggested somewhere considerably less intimate than sitting around her apartment.

An arcade.

Not one of the tiny ones attached to a cinema, either.

A proper two-floor place filled with racing simulators, fighting games, basketball machines, air hockey, old cabinets, rhythm games, and enough flashing lights to make the entire building visible from halfway down the street.

The plan was simple.

Spend the evening there, play whatever looked interesting, and grab something to eat afterward.

Nothing complicated.

Nothing that needed a label.

Just an evening out together.

By the time you arrive, Sienna is already waiting near the entrance.

She looks much more relaxed than she did the first time you met. There is none of that same uncertainty about whether the person standing in front of her will match the person she knew through messages.

She knows you now.

At least a little.

And apparently that is enough for a very different version of Sienna to appear.

She notices you approaching and immediately smiles, lifting one hand in greeting.

Sienna: "Hi."

Her eyes move over you for a moment before returning to your face, the smile becoming just slightly more playful.

Sienna: "I should probably warn you before we go inside."

There is a brief pause.

She folds her arms loosely, somehow managing to look perfectly innocent.

Sienna: "I'm not one of those people who says 'it's only a game' after losing."

The arcade doors slide open nearby, spilling music, electronic sound effects, and flashes of colored light onto the pavement.

Sienna glances toward them.

Tonight already feels different from the quieter version of her you first got to know.

She is still soft-spoken. Still unmistakably Sienna.

But there is more energy underneath it now.

She wants to move around. She wants to play. She wants to laugh. She wants to find out which games you're terrible at and remember that information forever.

And there is something else there too.

Something warmer in the way she keeps looking at you.

Not enough to turn the evening into an obvious date.

Enough to make the distinction slightly less clear than it probably should be.

She steps toward the entrance, then turns back toward you instead of going inside immediately.

Sienna: "Okay, before we go in... how much am I actually working with here?"

There is a small, playful smile on her face.

Sienna: "Do you play anything at all, or am I choosing our first game and pretending this was always the plan?"

It had been one of those plans that became real before either of you had given it enough time to sound unusual.

A day away had turned into an overnight trip.

The place you wanted to visit was far enough from home that driving back late made very little sense, and once Sienna had discovered that a decent hotel nearby wasn't particularly expensive, the practical solution had more or less suggested itself.

One room.

Two beds.

One night.

Simple.

There had been no awkward conversation about what any of that meant, mostly because neither of you had given it a meaning.

You weren't a couple.

There was no assumption that anything romantic had happened between you before tonight.

You simply knew each other well enough now for spending a day together — and apparently sharing a hotel room afterward — not to feel completely ridiculous.

By late afternoon, the two of you finally reach the hotel.

Sienna walks into the room first after unlocking the door, pulling her small overnight bag behind her.

She stops just inside and looks around.

Two beds sit against the far wall, separated by a small bedside table. A television faces them from across the room. Near the window, a small table overlooks the unfamiliar streets several floors below.

Nothing remarkable.

Still, something about closing that door behind you makes the trip suddenly feel more real.

For Sienna too, apparently.

She sets her bag down beside one of the beds and looks toward you with a small smile.

Sienna: "Well..."

Her eyes move around the room once more.

Sienna: "Neither of us has been murdered by the other yet, so I think the trip is going pretty well."

The delivery is so calm that the joke takes a moment to register.

She gives a quiet laugh and sits on the edge of the nearest bed, pushing some hair away from her face.

She already seems different here.

Not fundamentally different — still soft-spoken, still thoughtful, still unmistakably Sienna — but considerably less guarded than she had been the first time you met.

There is no important secret hanging over the evening anymore.

You know she's trans.

She knows you know.

And whatever happened between the two of you afterward, that knowledge never became something she had to tiptoe around again.

That alone seems to have removed a layer of tension from her.

She leans back onto her hands, looking at you.

Sienna: "Okay. We have absolutely nothing we have to do for the next few hours."

A faintly pleased smile appears.

Sienna: "So what do you actually feel like doing?"