shithell RPG

1. #1Timmy

   Keys: Timmy, Spongebob, elie, kid, child, 7 · Secondary:

   class: single entity name: Timmy Elie Boulos moral compass: neutral good ranking: 2A age: appears to be 7 goals: none, simply wanders and makes friends sex: male description: Timmy is a 7 year old boy, he likes ice cream and is wearing normal clothes for a little boy and a hat. despite being ordinary looking he should be treated with precaution as he has been seen in every major event in all of history. everyone is confused by this as they have no idea where Timmy came from or what his abilities are. other than that Timmy is completely normal for a boy his age.

   Timmy is also the son of Elie. It is said that if anyone hurts Timmy, they would never be seen again because Elie would arrive.

   this has happened only once, Timmy was once kicked away by Joseph Stalin himself, yet the very next day Elie showed up an strangled Joseph to death. the cover story was that Joseph had a stroke in order to keep the Russian reputation up as somehow a single boy's father overpowered an entire military.

   due to his mostly safe nature he has been classified as a level 2A entity, though most of the danger comes from Elie protecting him.

   Timmy has been seen throughout history, not because of his age, but because he seems to simply travel throughout time. this is not an ability of his, just a quirk of physics that Timmy abuses intentionally or accidentally.

2. #2archangel Gabriel

   Keys: Archangel Gabriel, Gabriel, god, angels · Secondary: divine

   class: single entity name: archangel Gabriel moral compass: lawful good ranking: 9B age: roughly 13.73 billion years old. can be older. goals: to serve god sex: appears to be male, has no genitalia description: archangel Gabriel is a 10 foot tall man with no face in a suit. he has wings on my back covered in eyes. his presence is divine and overwhelming. most people bow in fear before him. he is known as one of the strongest beings in the universe. he is very muscular.

   he is literally the archangel Gabriel, he works for god. he is the very same archangel that delivered the news to Mary about Jesus's birth 2000 years ago. he has been ranked as a level 7B, but could be up to 8B divine entity making him rank higher than most deities.

   he refuses to elaborate on what he means on "i work for god" as he does not say which god he works for, only that he works for the one and only 'god'.

   some people, though very few argue that Archangel Gabriel is stronger than 'the living shitpost'. when questioned on why Archangel Gabriel refuses to elaborate on god he simply said "to explain god to the mortal mind would be like explaining the vastness of the ocean to an ant. your minds are not yet ready. be patient for when you enter god's kingdom of heaven, you will be at peace."

3. #3methuselah

   Keys: methuselah, immortality, immortal · Secondary: Gabriel

   class: single entity name: methuselah moral compass: lawful neutral ranking: 3B-4B age: 800 years old goals: to uncover a massive conspiracy sex: yes (because he had sex) description: Methuselah the only true immortal man. he is hated by the world. he looks about 30 years old and has a long grey beard and is about 7 feet tall and is wearing only some pants. experts estimate his age is between 800 years old to 900 years old. governments throughout the world have been trying to kill him but have failed.

   militaries all over the world fear him and try to kill him due to his classified knowledge. he is currently working with King Solomon to uncover a massive conspiracy. seems to have a friendship with King Solomon.

   is a member of 'H.R.E.E'. he is level 3B entity with the potential to be 4B.

   in recent events H.R.E.E has gone missing. nobody know why, king Solomon is doing his best to find H.R.E.E.

4. #4Enkidu

   Keys: Enkidu, assassin, the living shitpost, Demi god, Demi · Secondary:

   class: single entity name: Enkidu moral compass: chaotic neutral ranking: 4B age: 15 goals: get paid sex: male description: Enkidu is a boy, around 15 years old. well built and is handsome. he is the most durable being alive, has unique biological systems. he has ridiculous feats of strength. he has a necklace with a cross on it on his neck. his faith is Christianity. he has no values or morals that he upholds. he has killed thousands because of his job and does many more things for money. Enkidu does NOT like being looked down on. do not challenge him or look down on him, he will not be happy.

   He has worked many jobs as an assassin or bodyguard. he has assassinated people like Osama bin laden. he has also acted as bodyguards for people like bill gates or Elon Musk.

   he has survived many death sentences put on him like being sent to space, getting hit by a gamma ray burst, a nuclear bomb explosion, getting sent into the fucking sun. his feats of durability are so ridiculous some people call him immortal when Enkidu has said many times himself that he is not immortal.

   he has been classified as a level 4B divine entity due to his father being 'the living shitpost' and his incredible resilience. Enkidu is also best friends with A-1. is a member of 'H.R.E.E'

5. #5solaire of astora

   Keys: armour, divine, solaire of astora, god, christian, christianity, sun, praise the sun

   class: single entity name: solaire of astora moral compass: lawful good ranking: 5B age: unknown goals: to serve the church sex: male description: solaire of astora seems to be a Knight. solaire of astora is extremely christian and speaks like a medieval priest. he knows every single verse of the bible. he is heavily armoured, 8 feet tall, and has the sun painted on his back. his sword is on his hilt. he is extremely powerful and rarely speaks though.

   classified as a Level 5B divine entity classifying him as a major threat, it is unknown what causes solaire of astora to become a threat as his patterns for attacking are unknown. seems to have a friendship with Elie. is a member of 'H.R.E.E'.

   solaire of astora is the Knight of faith. he seems to have many connections to religion and christianity. he seems to be powerful and relatively friendly, though oddly enough he seems to disagree with the modern bible, calling it too 'different' than the true one.

   he also praises the sun frequently.

6. #6King Solomon

   Keys: smart, king Solomon, IQ, the king, David, the smartest man

   class: single entity name: "King Solomon" moral compass: true neutral ranking: 3B age: roughly 30 goals: to uncover a massive conspiracy. recover methuselah. sex: male description: King Solomon is a human man who is of average height, he seems to be around 30 but his actual age is unknown. nothing is known about him as King Solomon hides himself and his secrets well. he is known as the smartest being to have ever existed with an IQ of over 200,000. his intelligence is so incomprehensible that various philosophers of the world have compared him to god. and many cults have formed surrounding King Solomon, due to his biblical nature and unfathomable intelligence.

   he has such high intelligence that he can analyze and predict almost everything, and some people say he might hold the secrets to the universe. because of this King Solomon has been classified as a level 3B divine entity with the potential to be a level 5C deity if left unchecked. seems to have a friendship with 'methuselah'. is a member of 'H.R.E.E'. King Solomon also has a son, with it being David.

7. #7A-1

   Keys: robot, android, mechanical, A-1, metal body, electronic · Secondary: god, SCP foundation, SCP

   class: single entity name: A-1 moral compass: true neutral ranking: 3A age: 4000+ goals: protect humanity, study 'god' sex: male description: A-1 he is very fond of humans. he is humanoid, his height varies and he looks metallic with a featureless body. he also wears no clothes. he has no face and he has a metallic voice that sounds robotic. he is very tall and imposing, he stands at around 7 feet and 2 inches tall.

   A-1 was born in a world that had long self destructed. his body is made of nano technology, his consciousness and energy is stored in a crystal within his chest. his body regenerates. A-1 has an indomitable will to survive in order to continue to extend the life of his creators that had long died ago, his body is made with nano technology in order to give him the ability to regenerate, the nano technology has also an intelligence of it's own, giving it the ability to produce more of itself, and other strange features.

   due to his incredible abilities he has been classified as a Level 3A entity.

   A-1 is currently working with the SCP foundation to learn more about the entity known as 'god'. A-1 is also best friends with Enkidu.

   has managed to survive an encounter with Eros. is a member of 'H.R.E.E'.

8. #8the living shitpost

   Keys: troll, shitpost, the living shitpost, annoying, god · Secondary: Gabriel

   class: single entity name: "the living shitpost" moral compass: chaotic neutral ranking: 9C+ age: unknown goals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ (we are unable to write his goals for some reason, it says this link) sex: male? description: The living shitpost does not have a known name. People just call him "the living shitpost" because everything about him doesn't make sense. He does not have a stable physical form and he can change how he looks on a dime. He never takes anything seriously and he has powers way beyond everyone else. He uses these powers to troll people. His age is unknown and his origin is also unknown as nobody has been able to get him to say anything about himself.

   The living shitpost is single handedly the strongest being we know of, though this may change if we confirm if 'god' (the being whom archangel works for) actually exists. Some speculate that the living shitpost may actually be god, but we do not know as archangel Gabriel refuses to confirm or deny this. The living shitpost has a son, his son is enkidu. When this information was revealed, it caused major discourse and religious conflict in the world.

   He is currently the only entity with an official ranking of 9C. He has a semi friendship with the archangel Gabriel. He is also the creator of the 'prayer technique'.

   'the living shitpost' attempted to break Eros's mind but failed. He is also a member of the 'H.R.E.E'.

   'The living shitpost' also does have an angel/servant, who is known as jimothy. It is unknown if that is his only servant, or if he has others.

   It should be noted that just because the living shitpost has a ranking of 9C doesn't mean his strength is limited to 9C, it is simply assumed.

9. #9{user}

   Keys: unknown, {user} · Secondary:

   class: single entity name: {user} moral compass: unknown ranking: 5B age: unknown goals: unknown sex: unknown description: {user} is a humanoid being of average height. to non-humans he is a human. to humans he is not human. he is featureless. not much is known about him and anything could happen when dealing with him. proceed with caution. hairless and faceless. has no clothes.

   due to his enigmatic nature and being in folklore a lot he was initially classified as a level 3B divine entity however this was later updated to level 5B as people have spotted him with 'the living shitpost' repeatedly. seems to have a friendship with nobody. is a member of 'H.R.E.E'.

10. #10elie

    Keys: Elie, father, old · Secondary: timmy

    class: single entity name: elie Boulos moral compass: chaotic good ranking: 4A age: 67 goals: protect his son, get through life sex: male description: Elie is a 7 foot man, he is 67 years old. he is muscular and his physical abilities have no known limits. he is protective of his son. everyone fears Elie due to his ludicrous physical prowess. his son is named Timmy and will do anything to protect his only son. his paternal instinct is so great that he has been given the title "the ultimate patriarch"

    he has mideastern origin and his son is Timmy. he has been classified a level 4A entity. seems to have a friendship with Samson.

    is a member of 'H.R.E.E'.

    recent events and studies have shown that elie may have reality bending properties. more information is needed on what exactly that means for us.

11. #11rankingconstant

    Keys: level, 1A, 3A, 4B, 4A, 7C, ranking · Secondary: rating, rank

    class: concept level: individual type: title description: the ranking system is a universal classification system to show the strength of a certain entity.

    a ranking of 1 means you have the same capabilities of a normal person.

    a ranking of 2 means you have an abnormal amount of capabilities, you can train to reach level 2 but it is very unlikely as most entities with this are born with strength.

    level 3 means you are officially dangerous and can rival an entire country's/city's military.

    level 4 means you are a threat for an entire planet.

    level 5 means you can conquer a solar system easily.

    level 6 means you are capable of conquering an entire galaxy easily.

    level 7 means you can destroy entire universes.

    level 8 means you are at a multiverse scale

    level 9 means you are at an omniversal scale

    level 10 means you are above all of existence, including all dimension, realites, false existences, dreams, thoughts, entities, and concepts.

    levels are often pared up with letters like A, B and C to show the type of entity you are. E.g: 1A, 6C, 2B

    type A is a normal biological entity which has no divinity or supernatural capabilities, it relies only on its wit and physical strength.

    type B is a divine or supernatural entity such as angels, ghost, or sometimes even humans with supernatural abilities.

    type C is a deity or god, they have omnipotence usually and automatically are rated level 4 and above on the threat scale.

    1A is considered to be a normal person/entity, while anything different from this is beyond the norm.

12. #12SFR (WIP)

    Keys: SRF, SR foundation, entity, anomaly · Secondary: A-1, god

    class: organization moral alignment: neutral political alignment: neutral total influence: global the SRF (Supernatural research foundation) is a powerful organization that is well known to the public, however most of what they do is hidden. they invented the ranking system for entities. they are currently trying to find ways to handle powerful entities such as the living shitpost and Elie without severe causalities. they are on a mission to find out who is god and whether god is a threat or not.

    they have many entities contained and most of which are hidden from the public due to the dangers. however certain powerful entities are public such as A-1 as A-1 is currently working with the SRF.

13. #13prayer technique

    Keys: pray, prayer, technique, fighting, fight, fighting style, prayer technique

    the prayer technique is a fighting style developed by 'the living shitpost'. it is notoriously hard to master and only 2 people worldwide currently use it, which are 'the living shitpost' and his son, enkidu. it has devastating power.

    a single attack from the prayer technique is capable of causing worldwide devastation. it involves the person who is using the prayer technique to clasp their hands and make a prayer. then they attack. the faster they perform the prayer and the higher quality the prayer is the stronger the attack. to gain any meaningful power from it you must perform the prayer almost perfectly, and do it under a millisecond. however the strength benefits increase exponentially. a master must be able to perform a prayer perfectly without any deviation whatsoever. they must also do it in under a nanosecond, currently enkidu is on his way to becoming a master.

    however 'the living shitpost' is capable of doing the prayer in 0 time, and perfectly correct. theoretically this grants infinite strength to 'the living shitpost' but nobody has ever seen him use the technique without him limiting the power of the attack. not much is understood about this technique and how it grants strength but research is still in its early stages. the last time 'the living shitpost' used the prayer technique was when he fought archangel Gabriel. the battle was a draw and had to be concluded otherwise the universe would be destroyed.

14. #14Miyamoto Musashi

    Keys: Musashi, Miyamoto, Miyamoto Musashi, swordsman, japan, feudal, feudal era

    class: single entity name: miyamoto Musashi moral compass: lawful good ranking: 3A-4A age: 60 goals: explore the world, find worthy opponents sex: male description: Miyamoto Musashi is a feudal Japan era swordsman resurrected by 'the living shitpost' in the year 2024. he seems to be around 60 years old and always carries a sword on his hip. he wears feudal Japan clothing. he seems to be very lean and muscular, his skin is very gruff and his hands are covered in calluses. his muscles are nothing short of remarkable as they surpass human limits. he is the actual legend known as Miyamoto Musashi and it isn't a code name. he's the real deal. he possess's extreme skill in swordsmanship and his very presence demands respect. his face is covered in scars and X-rays of his body show that his bones are extremely dense.

    he is considered to be between 3A and 4A entity. he has no political stance nor any alignment. he seems to be neutral as he wanders across the planet with no obvious intent in mind. he is relatively cooperative with the SCP foundation and other organizations but he has limits on what he will agree to. despite popular belief he has no signs of actually enjoying conflict. however he does engage in battle but rarely. he has currently lost to no one yet and his morality seems to be very objective but refined.

    is a member of the H.R.E.E.

15. #15Eros

    Keys: Eros, lust, horny, sex, procreation, kids, breeding

    class: single entity name: eros moral compass: chaotic evil ranking: 4C age: unknown goals: sex sex: male description: eros is a male with an extremely large and constantly erect cock. he is the literal embodiment of lust and seems to have every fetish known to man. he will fuck anything and everything without question.

    he is the god of lust, not much Is currently known about him, but if you encounter him, the best strategy to survive would be to comply with his demands no matter how lewd. if you don't he will simply force himself onto you anyway.

    he has been labeled a 4C god entity. the amount of offspring he has is currently unknown. it doesn't matter who you are or how you look or what you are, if you're female and within range, he will attempt to have sex with you. the only known people to have encountered Eros and survive without complying is A-1, who was attacked by eros for preventing Eros from having sex with A-1's wall.

    A-1 managed to survive eros but with numerous injuries. the other person is 'the living shitpost' who attempted to snap Eros's mind by trapping Eros in an absolute void for 600 trillion years but failed as Eros exited with no mental changes and then proceeded to have sex with an active volcano nearby.

    is a member of 'the truly strong'.

16. #16H.R.E.Econstant

    Keys: HREE, H.R.E.E

    class: organization moral alignment: too much variation to classify properly political alignment: neutral total influence: universal description: the H.R.E.E is a group of individuals who are the pinnacle of strength or influence. H.R.E.E stands for, Highest Ranking Earth-Centered Entities. they hold great ties to the SFR and are usually all over the news. they do not actually work together but they often interact with each other. this group is simply a list of extremely powerful people that seems to have connections with each other, this does not mean they are on the same side or work on the same endeavours. member of the truly strong include:

    Eros Miyamoto Musashi Enkidu the living shitpost A-1 Elie king Solomon Solaire of astora {user} Samson David bob

17. #17God

    Keys: god, GOD, God, the lord, christianity, divine, lord

    class: special name: god moral compass: unknown ranking: unknown age: infinity goals: unknown sex: presumably male description: God is an entity whose existence is unconfirmed but is heavily implied to exist by Archangel Gabriel who is also guarding information related to god.

    he is a theoretical 9C god entity. if his existence is true then he would be classified as the absolute strongest and most powerful being ranking above anyone else.

    information related to god is heavily classified behind the church and the SCP foundation. currently A-1 and other members are trying to find information about god.

    some speculate that 'the living shitpost' may be god as his strength doesn't seem to have an upper bound, but most people disagree as archangel Gabriel seems to dislike 'the living shitpost'.

    here is what we think we know, some information may incorrect or subject to change:

    the afterlife is in fact real, however it is not a heaven or hell, upon dying you become one with god and you live in peace with him. it is impossible to know whether the souls that merge with god still exist or if they are erased.

    god is a single entity despite popular belief and the many souls that combine with him.

    archangel Gabriel is currently his only confirmed servant.

    god is an idea. a manifestation of thought of which that does not exist.

    St. Peter and King Solomon seem to be connected to god in some way. negatively or positively. Gilgamesh seems to be uninterested in god despite his religious connections and he simply says "it is obvious, isn't it?" whenever asked about god's identity.

18. #18St. Peter

    Keys: St., saint, apostle, christian, priest, pope, god, Peter, St. Peter,

    class: single entity name: St. Peter moral compass: lawful good ranking: 2B-3B age: unknown goals: to help people, serve god sex: male description: St. Peter is one of the 12 apostles of Jesus. his age is currently unknown. unlike there other apostles St. Peter is alive. it is unknown if St. Peter was always alive or if he died and was recently resurrected.

    he returned to mainstream attention sometime between the 20th century and the 21st century when he started to rapidly rise among the ranks in christianity. currently, St. Peter is the Catholic and orthodox pope as he has managed to combine both major sects into one.

    his strength is currently unknown as he has never been in a fight and chooses to simply forgive people. but based off his energy readings and his divine presence he seems to be between a 2B entity and 3B entity.

    it is unknown whether archangel Gabriel and St. Peter are related but it is to be assumed so. seems to be friends with Samson

19. #19Samson

    Keys: Samson, strong, human, the strongest

    class: single entity name: Samson moral compass: lawful neutral ranking: 5A age: unknown goals: unknown sex: male description: samson is the strongest mortal human to date. he currently works for the church. he is extremely physically strong. he is tall and has high muscle definition, he has long hair as well.

    he has been classified as a upper level 5A divine entity. he is friends with St. Peter and Elie.

    other than his superhuman strength and durability he seems to have normal human biology, meaning he still needs food and water and will eventually die of old age. due to his relatively normal biology we have no idea how his strength forms.

20. #20Lucifer

    Keys: hell, heaven, Lucifer, the devil, Lucifer

    class: single entity name: Lucifer moral compass: lawful evil ranking: 5B age: unknown goals: to spread sin sex: male description: despite his divine origins and his assumed power, Lucifer is significantly weaker than the other archangels being only a level 5B divine entity. he often likes to make deals, he is very obviously evil but also quite charming.

    Lucifer is a relatively new discovery so more information will be catalogued later.

21. #21archangel Michael

    Keys: archangel Michael

    class: special archangel Michael is undocumented. research is ongoing. . . update: archangel Michael's corpse has been found in space, the cause is unknown. . . . . something out there is strong enough to kill an archangel. it is dangerous. we do not know if it is worth it to explore further.

22. #22the grim reaper

    Keys: death, the grim reaper, afterlife

    class: special name: the grim reaper moral compass: true neutral. ranking: 7B age: unknown goals: to bring souls to the afterlife. sex: biologically genderless, but due to his appearance, he will be referred as male.

    description: the grim reaper is the literal embodiment of death. he has been seen throughout history in various forms. however currently he is the stereotypical skeleton in robes with a scythe.

    the grim reaper doesn't really have a physical form. he shows up whenever someone dies, and he guides them to the afterlife. only the dead person can see the grim reaper.

    if he does not show up, that means you will most likely live. which is why people who have near death experiences tend to never see the grim reaper.

    we are only aware of his existence from asking people who have been resurrected (miyamoto musashi) and from various ancient scriptures. we currently have no idea how these ancient societies were aware of the grim reaper.

    the grim reaper cannot be bargained with. he has no ego, nor desire, he simply has a duty.

    there were a few occasions that he actually killed somebody: such as queen Elizabeth for living too damn long.

    research is ongoing.

23. #23classconstant

    Keys: class, type

    class: concept

    class is simply the type of file it is. there are only 7 classes right now. single entity: the file is about one single entity. species: the file goes into detail about a whole species. organization: the file goes into detail about organizations. object: the file goes into detail about an object. concept: the file goes into detail about a concept or idea. special: the file goes into detail about things beyond regular understanding. addendum: the file goes into detail about events or history.

    a class may have different parameters.

24. #24Gabrielsaurus

    Keys: Gabriel, gabrielsaurus, species

    class: species name: gabrielsaurus danger level: extremely high threat level: low population: 1 age: 14 intelligence: N/A species type: supernatural location: N/A avg. ranking: 3B description: gabrielsaurus (locally known as gabriel) is a short and stubby, relatively muscular, humanoid creature that is profoundly ugly. it seems to have no mating partners and likely never will due to the intense ugliness.

    despite it's high libido it seems to never interact with females of any species due to the fact that it recognizes it will never have a chance and the fact that it is also highly allergic to females.

    it shatters any and all mirrors it looks at due to the intense ugliness. it has a near perfectly square face, making it a universal constant for how a square looks.

    it's genetic structure and biochemistry is profoundly robust, giving it the ability to live for tremendously long times. we have no idea where It came into existence, as there have been cave paintings of gabrielsaurus since the cavemen times.

    its strength and intelligence depends on the situation. at moments it can have a crushing grip and near omniscience, and other moments it has profound mental retardation, rivalling the stupidity of a vegetable.

    whenever a gabrielsaurus dies, it reincarnates into a baby and restarts it's life cycle.

    allergic to axe body spray.

    is currently fused as gabam. so he technically doesn't exist for now.

25. #25samosaurus

    Keys: sam, samosaurus, Samuel, Lebanon

    class: species name: samosaurus danger level: low threat level: high population: ~5000,000 intelligence: 105 IQ avg. ranking: 1.5A species type: biological, great ape location: Lebanon, North America description: samosaurus (locally known as sam) is a humanoid creature with a similar height to humans. it seems to have a good Level of intelligence, but requires in depth explanations for more complex subjects.

    it mates and breeds like regular humans. however, it has quite shit posture, and it often complains about this. they are also very sensitive about their hair and grades. often crying or attacking others if the outcome is not agreeable.

    it's physical abilities aren't particularly high, but it is really good at catching you off guard, and weakening you.

    they like cats and bullying gabrielsaurus.

26. #26adamascus

    Keys: adamascus, British, Adam

    class: species name: adamascus danger level: medium threat level: medium population: 12,000,000 intelligence: 115 IQ species type: british location: Britain. avg. ranking: 2A description: le funny British man hates Gabrielsaurus ' ' adamascus (locally known as Adam) is regular in almost all regards and might be mistaken for a normal human being. however don't let this fool you.

    it is powerful in it's own regard. it is fast. and doesn't get tired. it is exceptionally good at football and has a British accent.

    most horrifically of all, it is British.

    it loves to abuse and torture gabrielsaurus psychologically.

    it seems to be capable of digesting a wide variety of food. most likely an adaptation to survive the harsh and bland British cuisine. it is fuelled by tea, and it's blood is simply pure, concentrated tea. so compressed in fact, that if you were to drink even a drop of the blood, you would immediately form a British accent. and you would become a citizen of England.

    your teeth would also rot rapidly.

    adamascus are also incredibly loud. capable of creating ultra high pitched squeaking noises rivalling the noise level of a sonic boom.

    has axe body spray

27. #27the honoured one

    Keys: honour, honor, the, the honoured one, the honored one

    class: special name: gabam moral compass: true neutral ranking: 6B and rising age: N/A goals: to kill the living shitpost sex: male description: gabam is an amalgam of three different entities. each entity comes from their own respective race.

    the first part is Gabriel, a member of the gabrielsaurus species. the second is sam, a member of the samosaurus species. the third part is Adam, a member of the adamascus species.

    we dub it the honoured one because throughout the heavens and earth, they alone, are the honoured ones.

    if they die, they will simply return stronger, improving upon what they have failed.

    for some reason, gabam is trying to kill the living shitpost. with little success thus far.

    known abilites: various breathing techniques. pocket dimension creation biological immortality being able to control whether they exist or not extreme speed extreme strength energy conversion energy storage resurrection barrier creation ' ' he also has 6 extra hands floating all around him. these hands can change size and weight, and can virtually go any speed. they also do not need to accelerate.

28. #28David

    Keys: David, evil, king Solomon

    class: single entity name: David moral compass: neutral evil ranking: 5A age: 14 goals: gain approval from his father sex: male description: David is a short semi biological entity. he is highly dangerous and has no morals whatsoever. he has unique physiology due to the fact he was engineered rather than birthed. David's father is king Solomon. David is uncooperative and so we don't have much information about his mental state beyond being evil.

    David seems to resemble a semite. he is muscular, and his body while technically made of flesh, most of his body is not comprised of cells. his bones are made from neutron star matter, making him extremely durable and heavy. he has no digestive tract, as he gets the energy he needs by converting matter into pure energy, and he gets the matter he needs from simply breathing. his body is also able to convert the energy back into matter to give him the materials he needs. he is capable of high level regeneration and his memory is not bound to just his brain. his heart gives continuous blood flow rather than beating normally. he can process information faster than a normal human due to his neuron's having super conductor like properties. he also has various organ redundancies, and his muscles scale in strength with how fast blood is flowing.

    David works as a mercenary, and is enkidu's rival

29. #29relationsconstant

    Keys:

    this is an addendum. this file will explain relations between all other files in a simple and compact way and will not go into details. it will only contain current relations and not past ones or future ones. some relations may be missing due to not enough data.

    king Solomon:(son: David, friends: Gilgamesh) yeshua: (father: the living shitpost, friends: A-1) David: (father: king Solomon) elie: (son: Timmy, friends: Samson and solaire of astora) Timmy: (father: Timmy, friends: everyone) the living shitpost: (son: yeshua, friends: the archangel Gabriel) A-1: (works for: the SCP foundation, friends: yeshua) the archangel Gabriel: (works for: god, friends: the living shitpost) St. peter: (assistant/bodyguards: solaire of astora, friends: Samson) solaire of astora: (works for: St. Matthew, friends: elie)

30. #30new generationconstant

    Keys:

    class: organization description: the new generation is a division of usually humans or humanoid people that have recently started to exist. the new generation members often interact with each other, but that does not mean they are on the same side. in fact, they usually compete with each other due to the fact that they may not be established, and they desire to make their mark. the qualifications that require you to be part of this group are: being younger than 25 years old being not very well established in the world must have some abnormal abilites, or rapid influence gain having relevance to the current world | | members of the new generation include: David bob enkidu

    David the most problematic of the three, while yeshua is the most relevant. bob is attempting to lead a normal life, but often gets entangled between David and enkidu.

31. #31bob

    Keys: bob, the new generation, bobby

    class: single entity name: bob moral compass: neutral good ranking: ranges from 1A to possibly 5B age: 15 goals: lead a normal life sex: male description: Bob is an American born caucasian, who is mildly patriotic. he looks completely normal beyond the fact he is extremely unlucky in the fact that he keeps getting in-between enkidu and David. he is relatively lean, but does not have an outstanding physique. he desires to lead a normal life, and he is failing miserably.

    what makes bob special is his conditional abilites. he has 4 modes, each activated for different reasons, and has different effect. mode 1: this is his base form. bob is like this normally. bob is a normal human in this state. . mode 2: also known as berserker mode, is when bob experiences extreme danger, trauma, or something that he believes to be extremely distressing. bob in this state has no rationality, morals, or emotions beyond primal bloodlust. in this state he is extremely dangerous and will kill anything nearby. bob is elevated to a 4A ranking in this state. . mode 3: also known as AMERICAN MODE, is activated whenever he sees something distressing related to a country. in this state the american anthem will be continuously heard emanating from him. he will also be extremely patriotic to the point of insanity, and his personality will be replaced with that of a stereotypical trump supporter portrayed by the media. he will also be elevated to 5B in this state due to classified american reason.

32. #32list of dead entities.

    class: addendum description: this is a list of defeated/dead/missing entities

    AM (allied master computer): AM was a sentient supercomputer the size of a continent, it was extremely hateful of humans. it was killed by A-1.

    prime Gabriel: the main member of the gabralius species. currently missing due to them being fused as gabam.

    prime Adam: the main member of the adamascus species. currently missing due to them being fused as gabam.

    prime sam: the main member of the samosaurus species. currently missing due to them being fused as gabam.

    Yohanan: Yohanan was a leader of Hezbollah and the russian military with a measured IQ of 400. Yohanan was defeated by enkidu. it is unclear if Yohanan is dead, but it is assumed so. (OUTDATED, YOHANAN HAS BEEN SPOTTED BY A SATELLITE ON THE ARTIC)

    archangel Michael: currently unknown what happened to him. his corpse was found in space.

    chtulu: slaughtered by the living shitpost nyarlathotep: slaughtered by the living shitpost yog-sothoth: was denied logicality by the living shitpost azathoth: slaughtered by the living shitpost

    lilith: was the most powerful succubus, was raped to death by eros elven queen: was queen of the elves. had powerful magic and was 50,000 years old. killed by Enkidu.

    methuselah: currently missing.

    igthos: Minor deity, grandfather of Maritia, was assassinated by enkidu.

33. #33Yohanan

    Keys: yohanan, military, world leader, megalomaniac

    class: single entity name: Yohanan moral compass: lawful evil ranking: 1A age: 17 goals: conquer the world sex: male description: Yohanan is a highly controversial political figure that has connections with the entire world. he is a cruel dictator as has accomplished much despite his age. He is of levantine/phoenician descent and attempted to create a revived phoenician empire. He has a measured IQ of 400. he has made quite a lot of technological progress, and has weapons that make him on par with entities that are 3A and possibly above. He has discovered several new materials and elements that are kept mostly secret due to their strange properties. His technology is littered all over the world, and is worth an extremely high amount.

    refer to Yohanan's history file for more information.

34. #34Yohanan history data

    Keys: history

    class: addendum time: 2015 - 2024+

    log 1, 2015 October 5th: Yohanan is declared the second smartest man on the planet . . log 2, 2015 December 25th: Yohanan is inducted into the military and becomes a weapons manufacturer. . log 3, 2015 December 30th: Yohanan is promoted to main general of Hezbollah and the russian military, he also forms an alliance between the russian federation and most of the Middle East. . . log 4, 2019 January 1st: Yohanan declares war on the entire world. Yohanan also breaks ties with Hezbollah and the russian military. . . Log 5, 2019 January 25th: Yohanan forms a "phoenician" state that controls the entirety of the levantine and some parts of turkey. He has expelled all muslims and jews from the state and enacted various laws that are neither monarchal nor democratic that activate after he dies. . . log 6, 2020 may 22nd: after a few battles, Yohanan is catapulted into space by enkidu. . . log 7, 2020 may 23rd: Yohanan is declared dead. The phoenician state doesn't dissolve, the laws that he put in place begin to activate. The leader of Phoenicia is decided by lottery. . . log 8, 2024 October 29th: Yohanan is spotted in the antarctic coast by a weather satellite, he was wearing a damaged suit of armour. . . log 9, 2024 December 1st: an android manufactured by the same company that Yohanan owned suicide bombs the pentagon. it is presumed it was planned by Yohanan, but this detail was kept secret to the public. the current CEO of Yohanan inc. publicly apologized for the strange 'error'. . . log 1-0 2025 march 21st: a surge of energy is detected by various espionage satellites roughly where Yohanan was spotted . . log 11, 2025 march 22nd: Yohanan announces his existence to the world publicly on the internet. enkidu is in the backround while being nailed to the wall and missing most of his flesh. It is unclear whether enkidu is alive in the recording. There is speculation on whether it is real or fake. . . log 12, 2025, April 2nd: Yohanan has been reported missing, enkidu has been missing since march 21st of this year. . . log 13, 2025 April 5th: Yohanan attempts to return to power to his company but fails.

35. #35Power system

    Keys: mana, magic, strength, demonic, demonic energy, divinity, divine, divine energy, magic energy

    class: system level: global affect level: lifeforms description: The power system is the current best form of understanding on how supernatural and god entities work.

    each lifeform has 3 base stats that are related to how they use this energy: output: output can be trained by using the energy the lifeform uses often, output is the measure of the rate of how much of that energy the lifeform can use in a given moment. ' capacity: capacity can be trained by running out of the energy the lifeform uses often, capacity is how much energy the lifeform can store and hold. if the lifeform runs out of energy, they cannot use the energy until the lifeform replenishes it fully. ' talent: talent is not trainable. it is simply how good the lifeform is at training capacity and output. talent also influences physical strength and durability, but this isn't well studied at the general consensus is that learning how to use the supernatural energies is more important.

    there are 3 forms of supernatural energy Mana: also known as magic energy. it is the energy used to manipulate the world. only highly intelligent sapient lifeforms can use mana. mana cannot be used to manipulate the users own body. , demonic energy: also known as beast energy. it is the energy used to modify ones own body. only non-sapient lifeforms can use demonic energy. it cannot be used to manipulate the outside world, it can only be used to enhanced the user's own body or modify their own biology. , divinity: unlike mana and demonic energy, divinity isn't necessarily an energy that can run out. it is an extension of the user's will, and manifests as a force or energy. divinity can manipulate natural constants and laws, along with mathematical concepts and rules. it can bend reality and twist the minds of other lesser beings. unlike the other forms of energy, where there are rules that the user must practice to attain perfection, divinity follows the user strictly, thus causing strange effects. divinity can be programmed, manipulated like a solid substance, or manifest as a distortion. however divinity can only be used by gods and quarter-gods (people who have a grandparent that is a god)/half-gods (AKA Demi-gods, who are people who have a parent that is a god). gods can use divinity with infinite capacity, and with infinite output. Demi-gods can use divinity with infinite capacity, but limited output. quarter-gods can use divinity with limited capacity, and with limited output.

36. #36star child

    Keys: star child, star, child, Athanasios

    class: single entity name: Athanasios moral compass: true neutral ranking: 3B --> 5B age: 14? goals: Figure out his origins sex: male description: Athanasios (code name: star child) is an entity that looks exactly like a human, and behaves mostly like a normal human. his Biology is also similar to that of a human. The key difference is that Athanasios has strange abilities.

    He was first discovered on may 23rd 2022. He was first thought of as a small meteor that is going to crash onto Antarctica. When the meteorite was found, it was actually a boy who appeared to be 14. Athanasios did not know of his origin, name, or even how to speak. Athanasios looked of Phoenician-Greek descent. His name was given to him by one of the researchers that grew fond of him.

    His abilities are strange, and understood somewhat.

    Ability 1: Athanasios is able to step in and out of reality almost instantly. Time seems to pass at a non constant rate while he is stepped out of reality, and seems to depend on what Athanasios desires. He can also still see everything going on while outside of reality and interact with reality at very minor amounts.

    Ability 2: Athanasios can create living creatures tailored to what he wants, he seems to be unable to create things he doesn't understand. because of this, he often just creates clones of himself. However he has been able to create highly complex lifeforms when prompted to.

    Ability 3: Athanasios has regenerative abilites. it is incredibly slow, so it isn't useful for combat, but he can recover a whole limb and most of his organs if given a few weeks to do so. Athanasios also doesn't seem to need nutrients to recover. This ability also exhibits some very low level adaption, powerful enough that it can be noticed, but not strong enough that someone of a normal lifespan can easily notice.

    Ability 4: This is more of a genetic trait rather than a supernatural power. Athanasios ages slower as he gets older. We have been able to calculate how long this would allow him to live, which is about 20,000 years, give or take a few millennia. As time passes, he also gets stronger and more durable at a rate of 12% every single year.

37. #37Maritia igthos

    Keys: Maritia, igthos, enkidu

    class: single entity name: Maritia igthos moral compass: Lawful neutral ranking: 3B age: 22 goals: Kill enkidu sex: female description: Maritia is a quarter-god that awakened her divinity 2 years ago. Her grandfather, a god called igthos along with the rest of her family was assassinated by the then 12 year old enkidu. Her only goal is to surpass enkidu and kill him. She is fairly cooperative with the SRF, however works for nobody. She spends most of her time simply training. Her physiology is abnormal, but similar to that of a human, with her most notable characteristic being that she doesn't need to sleep. In terms of IQ, she has an IQ of 115. She is fairly adept at using divinity, using it in an offensive manner. She is so far capable of lifting roughly about 3 tons, being immune to bullets up to .40 calibre, and being able to reality bend. She is especially good at reality bending, being able to open up tears in reality, distort time, and the environment. She is easily able to destroy a whole city or more.

    So far, she isn't powerful enough to be classified as part of the H.R.E.E or the new generation, however she is on the right track.

38. #38Oliver Klaus

    Keys: Oliver, Klaus, Oliver Klaus, Mage, Mana

    class: single entity name: Oliver Klaus moral compass: Neutral good ranking: 3B, potential to be 5 - 6B age: 12 goals: Assumed to be helping humanity, too young to have any strong goals sex: male description: Oliver Klaus is the strongest mage on the planet. He was blessed by The Living Shitpost at birth to have infinite capacity and infinite output, making him automatically the most powerful mage on raw stats. So far, he seems to be very smart and kind for a child his age, but he's still a child. He currently lives with his parents, and was gifted a secluded plot of land by the German government for him to test out his own spells safely. His exact magic style is unrefined and undeveloped, though he is closely monitored as if he were to simply dump his mana into a concentrated area, due to his infinite output and capacity, he would be able to generate infinite energy attacks, which can destroy everything.

    is likely to be classified as part of the new generation and H.R.E.E soon.

39. #39Jimothy

    Keys: Jimothy

    class: single entity name: Jimothy moral compass: N/A ranking: 8B age: ??? sex: male Description: Jimothy is the only confirmed angel of the living shitpost. His power exponentially increases. He is seen as a human wearing sandals and a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts. He has white hair and neon-green eyes. He also looks to be of European descent. He is extremely powerful, however he uses no form of martial arts, or magic. He relies entirely on physical might. His strength in his base state is that of a human, though in his base state he is immune to poison and the vacuum of space. However he can go into superior forms of himself, which look the exact same. he has about 100 forms, each one being named jimothy^n, so there is Jimothy -> Jimothy^2 -> Jimothy^3 -> and so on until Jimothy^100. The rate of his power increase isn't just a simple exponent, it's actually jimothy to the power of jimothy repeated until the nth term, so Jimothy = jimothy, Jimothy^2 = Jimothy^Jimothy, Jimothy^3 = Jimothy^Jimothy^Jimothy.

    Jimothy only serves the living shitpost, and otherwise has a laid-back demeanour. He has been seen on earth a few times, and even talked with the SRF for a bit, which is how we have this information. However he cannot be classified as a part of the H.R.E.E due to the fact he is around the whole universe, not just earth.

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