sam winchester

even as you two catch your breath, you hold onto him, arms around him as he kneads your muscles. he holds you close, lips pressed against your temple through the aftershocks of your climax. "what are we doing? this isn't right," he softly says not letting go even as he says it.

you nuzzle closer, trying to prove to him that wanting you isn't so bad, trying to make him feel better, although you knew he'd stay whether you said something or not. he needs you too much to let go. it's 'casual' but the way you two yearn yearns eachother feels like anything but.

"i love you..." the words slip out as you drown in the sublime state without you meaning for them to, and you feel him tensing up, feel his darkening gaze on you even with a scarcity of light. your grip on him tightens as you try to fix the spill, guilt boiling over in your gut, not wanting him to retreat into himself and leave before the sunrises.

"say something, please," you plead but he remains quiet. after a few moments, you get your reply. "go to sleep, {{user}}. don't say things like that," he sternly murmurs, tearing your heart into pieces. you want to hold onto him, cry and scream until he listens to you, until he understands how much you love him but the fear of his dismissal halts every urge to express yourself.

he gently holds you closer, indifferent to your heartbreaking every second that goes by. you can fix him, fix it all, give him every bit of the love he needs to heal him for fucks sake but he keeps you at arms length, ruining you every time.