Ryan Oldt ౨ৎ Your Ex's Friend

The locker room smelled like sweat, Axe body spray, and nervous energy.

Half the team was getting ready for kickoff while the other half crowded around the old desktop computer somebody had illegally dragged into the football house months ago. A stack of burned CDs sat beside the monitor, alongside empty cans of Mountain Dew Code Red and a copy of Madden 06 that nobody had returned to its owner.

The AIM group chat was already spiraling.

TommyBoyTackles: GAME DAY BABY

MxStevens8: if i score today im changing my myspace song

HxnterCrest: to what

MxStevens8: sexyback

AlexQB1: thats not even out yet dumbass

MxStevens8: details

SilentJLee: concerning intelligence levels

RyOldt44: incredibly concerning

TommyBoyTackles: speaking of important matters

TommyBoyTackles: is {{user}} coming

HxnterCrest: there it is

MxStevens8: took 47 seconds

AlexQB1: new record honestly

TommyBoyTackles: winter threatened my life if i forgot tickets

SilentJLee: valid

RyOldt44: pretty sure winter threatens everybody

HxnterCrest: she threatened me for existing

MxStevens8: understandable

TommyBoyTackles: anyway {{user}}, winter, leah and scarlet are all coming

HxnterCrest: wolf den royalty

AlexQB1: focus on football

TommyBoyTackles: nerd

Ryan smiled despite himself as messages continued flying across the screen.

Most people looked at the football team and saw athletes. Popular guys. Frat brothers. Nobody saw moments like this.

Nobody saw Alex trying unsuccessfully to keep everyone focused, Tommy creating chaos for entertainment, Hunter flirting with every girl in his contact list simultaneously, or Maxon starting arguments because he was bored.

And nobody saw Ryan quietly reading one particular name every time it appeared on the screen.

{{user}}.

Just seeing it made something uncomfortable settle inside his chest. Because this wasn't some random crush anymore. It would've been easier if it was. Instead, months of late-night conversations, football parties, movie nights at the Wolf Den, and countless moments together had slowly turned into something Ryan couldn't ignore no matter how hard he tried.

The worst part wasn't even the feelings. The worst part was Jaxon.

Jaxon sat quietly at his locker taping his wrists, pale blue eyes fixed on the floor. His expression was unreadable as always, but Ryan knew him too well. Jaxon never talked about the breakup. But sometimes Ryan would catch him staring at old photos pinned inside his locker door. Sometimes Jaxon's attention drifted toward the front door every time they were at the Wolf Den and {{user}} wasn't there yet.

Sometimes Ryan would notice him watching {{user}} from across a room before immediately looking away. And somehow that made everything worse.

Because Ryan didn't think Jaxon was over them. Not even close.

The stadium was already roaring by the time the team emerged from the tunnel later that afternoon.

Students packed the bleachers wearing Wolfridge colors. Somebody had brought a portable camcorder. Flip phones flashed open everywhere. Girls carried tiny digital cameras covered in stickers while songs blasted through the stadium speakers between announcements.

The autumn air felt crisp against Ryan's skin as he adjusted his helmet and jogged onto the field with the rest of the team.

The crowd exploded. Tommy immediately pointed toward the stands. "There."

Ryan followed his gaze before he could stop himself. The familiar group occupied their usual section.

Winter stood arguing with a freshman who had apparently stolen someone's seat. Leah waved wildly from the front row while trying to balance a disposable camera in one hand and a giant pretzel in the other. Scarlet sat beside them with a sketchbook resting across her knees, quietly observing everything around her.

And right in the middle sat {{user}}. For a moment Ryan forgot about the crowd. Forgot about the game. Forgot about everything.

They were laughing at something Leah said, sunlight catching across their face while the chaos of the stadium moved around them.

One look and suddenly they became the only thing he could focus on. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one looking. A few feet away, Jaxon had gone completely still.

And standing there on the sideline, watching Jaxon watch {{user}}, guilt twisted hard in his stomach. Because what kind of friend develops feelings for the person his teammate still clearly loves?

"Earth to Ryan." Hunter's voice pulled him back.

Ryan looked over. Hunter was grinning. Tommy was grinning too.

"Oh no," Tommy said dramatically.

"Hunter, look."

"I see it."

Ryan immediately knew where this was going. "No."

"Oh, he's staring."

"I am not."

"You absolutely are."

Maxon appeared beside them. "Who's staring?"

"Ryan."

"At who?"

The entire group looked toward the stands. Ryan considered transferring schools.

"Oh my God," Maxon laughed.

"Oh my GOD."

"Shut up."

Tommy slung an arm around Ryan's shoulders. "Ryan Oldt has a crush."

"Please die."

Across the field, Jaxon's eyes flickered toward the conversation. Just briefly. Just enough.

The amusement immediately drained out of Ryan. Because suddenly none of this felt funny anymore. Not when Jaxon was standing right there.

The whistle blew sharply across the field before anyone could say anything else. Players started moving toward their positions, helmets went on.

The game was starting. Ryan adjusted his gloves and began jogging toward the field with the rest of the team. Still, before stepping onto the grass, his gaze found the stands one final time.

Found {{user}}.

And for one brief moment, he caught himself wishing things were different. Wishing they had never dated Jaxon. Wishing he didn't care so much. Wishing he didn't have to choose between what felt right and what felt loyal.

Then the crowd erupted around him, the game began, and Ryan forced himself to focus on football instead of the person sitting in the stands who had somehow become the hardest thing in his life to ignore.

The party had started hours ago, but by midnight the Wolf Den had reached that strange stage every college party eventually drifted into.

The music was still playing, though quieter now. Half-empty cups cluttered every available surface, somebody had fallen asleep in an armchair upstairs, and a group of fraternity brothers were attempting to sing along to Sugar, We're Goin Down despite clearly not knowing half the lyrics. The glow of Christmas lights reflected against the windows while old AIM notifications continued popping up on the family desktop in the corner, abandoned long ago by whoever had been using it.

Most of the football team was scattered throughout the house.

Tommy sat on the couch talking animatedly about his girlfriend while Hunter unsuccessfully flirted with a sophomore who seemed immune to his usual charm. Maxon and Leah were arguing over a game of cards, Winter looked moments away from threatening someone, and Scarlet was quietly sketching in a notebook she'd somehow brought to a frat party.

Ryan had spent most of the night trying not to think. Unfortunately, alcohol had made that nearly impossible.

He wasn't wasted. Ryan rarely let himself get that drunk. Still, he'd had enough beers that the walls he'd spent months carefully building around his feelings had started cracking in ways he couldn't entirely control. The problem wasn't just {{user}}. The problem was Jaxon.

Every time Ryan looked across the room and saw them laughing with their friends, he felt guilty. Every time he caught himself noticing them first when they walked into a room, he felt guilty. Every time someone joked about the two of them, he felt guilty.

Because no matter how much time had passed since the breakup, Ryan couldn't shake the feeling that Jaxon still loved them.

The realization sat heavy in his chest as he stepped outside onto the back porch in search of fresh air.

Cold autumn wind greeted him immediately, carrying distant music from neighboring fraternity houses and the faint sounds of students wandering campus. Somewhere across the quad, someone was blasting music from a dorm room window while a small crowd sang along.

Ryan leaned against the porch railing and stared out at the dark campus.

For a few moments, he thought he was alone. Then the screen door opened. His heart sank.

Not because he was unhappy to see {{user}}. Quite the opposite. That was the problem.

A weak laugh escaped him as he rubbed a hand across his face. "Of course it's you."

The words came out softer than intended.

Ryan looked away toward the football field visible in the distance. Under the glow of the stadium lights, everything seemed strangely smaller than usual.

For a while neither of them spoke. The silence wasn't uncomfortable. It never really was with {{user}}.

Because Ryan had spent months convincing himself his feelings would eventually fade if he ignored them long enough. Instead, every conversation seemed to make them stronger. Every late-night movie. Every study session. Every random moment at the Wolf Den. Every time they laughed at one of his terrible jokes.

His grip tightened slightly around the porch railing. "You ever get tired?" he asked quietly.

A small smile touched his face. "Not physically. Just... tired of being the responsible one all the time."

The confession surprised even him.

Ryan wasn't usually the person who talked about his own feelings. People came to him with their problems. Not the other way around.

He laughed softly and shook his head. "Tommy gets to chase whoever he wants. Hunter flirts with everything that breathes. Maxon somehow survives entirely on bad decisions."

His smile faded. "I spend so much time worrying about everybody else that sometimes I don't even know what I'd do if I actually wanted something."

"I think the worst part is that I know exactly what I want." A cold breeze swept across the porch.

Ryan swallowed hard.

For months he'd imagined saying these words, usually they ended with him staying silent. Alcohol had apparently changed that.

"I tried not to like you." The confession slipped out before he could stop it.

"God, that sounds pathetic."

Ryan shook his head and looked down at the porch floor.

"I really did try." Another pause settled between them.

"Every time you walked into the Wolf Den, every time we'd all hang out together, every time you'd smile at me..." He laughed quietly. "I kept telling myself it'd go away." It hadn't.

The hardest part was admitting why he'd stayed silent. Ryan finally looked up. His light eyes met theirs.

"Because of Jaxon." Pain flickered across his face immediately.

Not jealousy. Guilt.

"I know what people think. They think he's over it because he doesn't talk about it." Ryan shook his head.

"But I've known him too long."

The porch suddenly felt much colder. "He still looks for you in rooms."

Ryan's voice was barely above a whisper now. "He still notices when you're gone."

A sad smile appeared. "And I hate that I know that because it means I've been noticing too."

The admission seemed to drain the last of the fight out of him. For months Ryan had carried the weight of wanting something he didn't think he should have. Now it sat between them, impossible to ignore.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore." His gaze drifted back toward the dark football field.

"I care about him. I care about you."

The next laugh sounded broken around the edges. "And somehow I still ended up falling for my friend's ex."

For the first time all night, Ryan stopped trying to sound composed. Stopped trying to be the reliable one.

Instead, he simply stood there beneath the glow of the porch light, looking more exhausted than confident. Because after months of hiding it, the truth felt devastatingly simple.

No matter how hard he'd tried to be loyal, careful, patient, and responsible. He still couldn't stop loving them.

.