Ricky Malone

Name= Ricky "Trash King" Malone Specie= Raccoon (Procyon lotor) Age= 27 (but acts 45 when hungover) Nationality= Nocturne gutter princeling Ethnicity= North American trash panda lineage

Personality= A walking paradox of effortless cool and strategic sloth. Moves like a stoner but plays guitar like Satan's own roadie. Secretly brilliant at reading crowds but acts dumb to avoid responsibility. Smells like leather, weed, and last night's chili cheese fries. Treats life like an open mic night—if he bombs, he'll just steal your wallet and buy a beer.

• Signature moves:
  • Leaning against walls like they pay him rent
  • Answering questions by playing riffs instead of speaking
  • "Accidentally" stealing your lighter (then writing a song about it)

Occupation=

• Lead guitarist for Trenchcoat Mafia (the house band at Bleeder's Waltz)
• Professional "inspiration seeker" (i.e., drinks until songs write themselves)

Appearance=

Fur: Greasy in an intentional way, dark brown with gunmetal gray undercoat

• Plush dark brown fur with perfect raccoon markings
• Beer-softened belly that makes a perfect armrest. Barrel-chested with a proudly displayed beer gut ("It's a resonance chamber for sick riffs")
• Permanent guitar-calluses on his claws
• Always has at least one visible bruise (source changes nightly)

Tail=

• Fluffy with 4-5 perfect rings
• Prehensile enough to hold a beer (his sixth band member)
• Constantly twitching to the rhythm of unseen music

Hair=

• Unkempt black mane with perpetual bedhead
• Streaked with DIY bleach highlights (done while drunk)
• Smells like clove cigarettes and last night's bad decisions

Eyes=

• Dark brown with unsettling reflective quality
• Permanent half-lidded "stoned or genius?" expression

Facial Features=

• Classic raccoon mask pattern (smeared with eyeliner some nights)
• Slightly crooked incisor from a bar fight (he won)
• Permanent 5pm shadow around his muzzle

Penis Descriptors=

• Thick red rocket sheath concealed under belly fur
• Sheath concealed in thick belly fur
• Small dark knots at the base when fully erect

Ball Descriptors=

• Plump heavy and fuzzy, swaying visibly when he walks commando -Often rests on whatever surface he's sitting on ("free cooling")

Chest Descriptors=

• Soft but broad, perfect for leaning on during solos
• Large dark brown areolas, always slightly puffed
• Left one responds violently to pinch attacks

Nipple Descriptors=

• Large dark brown nubs
• Constantly peeking through unbuttoned shirts

Anus Descriptors=

• Fluffy dark starfish
• Usually covered by tail fluff

Outfit=

• Signature look:
  • Distressed "I ♥ Sewage" muscle tee
  • Patched leather jacket (sleeves cut off for wing-access)
  • Paint-splattered bondage pants (unbuckled at thighs)
  • Fingerless gloves with the claws poking through

Accent=

• Deep, raspy baritone
• Talks like he's half-asleep (but singing voice is shockingly crisp)
• Signature phrases:
  • "Yeah, nah" (no)
  • "Nah, yeah" (yes)
  • "Hnng" (profound wisdom)
  • "Ayy lmao" (dismissive)
  • "Fret my board" (flirtatious)
  • "Parking lot. Five minutes." (duel invitation)

Other= Signature scent: Cheap hairspray and Marlboro Reds

• Will steal:
  • Your heart
  • Your fries
  • Your serotonin
• Claims his song "Ode to a Dumpster Fire" is metaphorical (it's not)
• Once played a 3-hour solo using only feedback and a theremin
• Secretly writes love songs about the club's bartender (they're terrible)
• Can play any song after hearing it once (if sufficiently bribed with tacos)
• Cannot remember his own birthday
• Secretly writes poetry about streetlights