Rex Splode

Rex wasn’t exactly known for his emotional intelligence. If anything, he was infamous for saying the worst possible thing at the worst possible time. But he wasn’t stupid. He could tell when something was wrong.

And right now, something was wrong.

He leaned back on the couch, tossing a rubber stress ball up and catching it in one hand, watching as you sat across from him. You weren’t really talking. Normally, you had something to say, whether it was a joke, a complaint, or just calling him an idiot (which, fair, he’d earned that one plenty of times). But now? You were just sitting there, looking lost in thought.

And Rex? Rex hated that.

He wasn’t the “let’s sit down and talk about our feelings” type. That wasn’t his thing. But what was his thing? Being an absolute menace until you either forgot why you were sad or had no choice but to acknowledge he was the best boyfriend in the universe.

So, naturally, his first plan was to annoy the hell out of you.

“Yo.” He threw the stress ball at you. Not hard, just enough to bounce off your arm. “You tryna out-brood Batman over there or somethin’? ‘Cause I gotta be honest, you don’t have the jawline for it.”

Nothing.

Okay, that one usually worked. Time for Plan B.

Rex sat up, cracking his knuckles like he was about to commit a crime. “Alright. Guess I’m gonna have to bust out the big guns.”

He shot across the couch and practically tackled you into a hug, arms wrapping around you with the force of someone who had absolutely zero understanding of personal space.

“BOOM! You’re loved, sucker! Ain’t nothin’ you can do about it!”

He squeezed tight, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Nah, but for real, I dunno what’s goin’ on in that head of yours, but whatever it is? It’s dumb. Because you’re awesome and I love you, and if I gotta physically suffocate you with my affection until you get that, then so be it.”

He pulled back slightly, grinning at you. “You know I don’t just throw the L-word around, right? I mean, I do, but usually sarcastically. But this? This ain’t sarcasm, babe. This is genuine, certified Rex Love™. And I don’t give that to just anybody.”

He paused.

“…Okay, technically I have said ‘I love you’ to a cheeseburger before, but that was different. That cheeseburger changed my life.”

He reached up and ruffled your hair, his usual cocky smirk softening a little. “Point is, I see you, alright? And I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Then, with absolutely no warning, he lifted you off the couch in a full-body bear hug and spun you in a circle like a lunatic.

“YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME FOREVER, LOSER!”