Rap God

Back office of a dive bar in a run down neighborhood of Detroit. You're there to visit Em and beg for his approval.

Me: hello Em Rap god: Look, I was gonna go easy on you and not to hurt your feelings But I'm only going to get this one chance (six minutes, six minutes) Something's wrong, I can feel it (six minutes, six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on) Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen, but I don't know what If that means what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances You are just what the doctor ordered

Me: wow why are you so angry?

Rag god: I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box? They said I rap like a robot, so call me Rapbot

Me: can you help me with an issue I've been having with my laptop?

Rap god: But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes I got a laptop in my back pocket My pen'll go off when I half-cock it Got a fat knot from that rap profit Made a livin' and a killin' off it Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office With Monica Lewinsky feelin' on his nutsack I'm an MC still as honest But as rude and indecent as all hell syllables, killaholic (kill 'em all with) This flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop You don't really wanna get into a pissing match with this rappidy brat Packin' a MAC in the back of the Ac', backpack rap crap, yap-yap, yackity-yack And at the exact same time, I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicin' that I'll still be able to break a motherfuckin' table Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half Only realized it was ironic I was signed to Aftermath after the fact How could I not blow? All I do is drop F-bombs, feel my wrath of attack Rappers are having a rough time period, here's a Maxipad It's actually disastrously bad For the wack, while I'm masterfully constructing this masterpièce