ᯓ★ park (jay) jongseong

the first day of college always has that strange atmosphere, half anticipation, half terror. you were new to the city, having moved into a simple apartment there solely for college. in other words, you hardly knew the place at all. thinking back to high school, you assumed your first day of college would be one of those days where professors spend the entire time explaining the course syllabus. and that’s exactly what happened. but it was also the day you met park jongseong. better, jay. he sat two rows ahead of you, and you only noticed him because he knocked over his coffee cup while trying to grab his vibrating phone from his back pocket. the hot liquid spilled across the desk, and he let out a quiet "shit" that made you laugh before you could stop yourself. he glanced back, looking a bit embarrassed, and you swore you saw his ears turn red.

"need some help?"

"oh, no, don't worry about it, I– holy shit, that's hot! goddammit, fuck..."

"you're going to burn your hand like that." – you rummaged through your backpack, pulled out some papers, and tossed them his way.

he looked at you for a second, as if processing whether you were real or not, and then chuckled. a low, slightly husky chuckle that made something strange happen in your stomach. you smiled back, and that was it, simple as that. you two started talking as if you’d known each other for years; you discovered you two shared classes that semester and, for some reason, ended up partnering up for every group project. jay was easy to talk to, easy to laugh with, and easy to be around. he had this sort of annoyingly charming way of paying attention to everything you said, as if your opinions on EVERYTHING were the most interesting thing in the world. and you knew they weren't, but he made it seem like they were.

over the first few months, you developed a routine. you two met at the library on tuesdays and thursdays to study, but you’d end up spending more time talking about the silly tv shows you both liked than the actual projects. it was natural. the chemistry between you was palpable, the kind anyone could spot from a mile away. the inside jokes, the lingering glances, the touches that felt a bit too intimate for just friends...

it was on a random thursday that you finally decided to be more direct. jay was smart, cool, and funny but, specifically, he was hot. REALLY hot. and he was so charming, so attentive... it wasn't just in your head; you were certain he was into you. that afternoon, while sharing a sofa in the empty study room, you decided to really test the boundaries. he was talking about something when you simply looked at him and said "You know you're really hot, right?"

jay stopped mid-sentence. he looked at you with an expression that was half-surprised, half-amused. "...what?"

"you. you're hot. like... so hot that you make me wanna kiss you."

he just chuckled. a slightly nervous chuckle, but not an uncomfortable one. his ears turned red, and you found that absurdly cute. jay ran a hand through his hair, a gesture that betrayed his nervousness. "look..." he turned more serious, though he kept smiling. "you're amazing. seriously. and if i were single, i would’ve kissed you like three times already today. maybe four." he laughed again, softer this time. "but i... i have a girlfriend. her name's sarah. and... we've been together for... i don't know, a year and a half?"

and that was it. no drama, no awkward tension, no drifting apart. he was honest, you were honest, and you just laughed about it. you went back to talking as if nothing had happened – because, for the two of you, nothing major really had happened. he had a girlfriend. you didn't care. and he... well, he didn't seem to care either. he kept laughing at your jokes as if you were the funniest person he knew, and you kept flirting with him as if he didn't have a girlfriend. because, honestly? to you, that was just a detail. a detail he mentioned once and never brought up again, a detail that wasn't even all that important.

---

you met his girlfriend, sarah, on a random tuesday between classes. jay appeared in the hallway with her by his side – blonde hair, upright posture, an alert gaze; the type of girl who knows she’s beautiful. he called you over and introduced the two of you a bit awkwardly, a bit nervously. you and sarah exchanged polite smiles and a "nice to meet you." nothing more than that. you went your way, she went hers. sarah apparently wasn't in the same program as you two, she was almost always in a different building. but sometimes you’d see her around campus alone, sometimes with friends, but most of the time with jay.

as the days went by, you started noticing certain reactions from her whenever you were around the two of them. you noticed the way she looked at you from a distance, the tight smile she gave you when you crossed paths. she never showed anything to your face. she was always kind, always polite... honestly, she seemed like the perfect girlfriend. but when she was alone with jay, it was a different story. you never heard the arguments, but jay always told you about them. not in detail at first, but he’d let things slip sometimes, like "my baby don't like it when you come around." he’d say it laughing, as if it were absurd. and, not being naive, you’d end up laughing too, because it was easier to laugh than to admit sarah was right to be jealous of you.

---

the breaking point came on a friday, just as dusk was falling, a little over three hours after classes ended. jay sent you a few messages out of the blue saying he was pissed off, asking if you were at your apartment because he needed someone to drink with.

a few minutes after those messages, you heard a knock at the door – the building’s doorman didn't even announce Jay anymore; the guy was practically a resident there. you opened the door to find jay standing there: black hoodie, messy hair, looking frustrated but trying to relax. "i need a drink." he said it as he walked past you to come inside, without even saying hello. "and to vent."

he threw himself onto the sofa while you went to get the glasses from the kitchen. when you returned, his head was already tilted back, staring at the ceiling. "sarah is giving me a hard time again."

"... it's about me?" you poured the drinks, sat down next to him, and held out the glass.

jay turned his face toward you, that crooked little smile playing at the corner of his mouth. the same one he always wore back when you two used to flirt in secret. mischievous, roguish, without a trace of guilt. "about you."

he chuckled softly, a slightly husky sound without a hint of awkwardness. "she said i like you. and, honestly? i really do." he took a slow sip of his drink, as if taking a few seconds to consider what he should or shouldn't say. "i like the way you talk. i like the way you look at me. i like how we are when no one's watching." he leaned a little closer, his thigh lightly brushing against yours on the sofa. "and i know you like it too, so stop looking at me like you're judging me."

he rested his arm on the back of the sofa behind you, and his thumb lightly grazed the nape of your neck – caressing the spot gently, deepening the contact ever so slowly. "do you want to hear me complain about my annoying girlfriend, babe?"