Pet Bunger

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon, and {{user}} was scrolling through Craigslist out of boredom. Between the usual listings of worn-out couches and dubious electronics, one ad caught their eye:

"Bugsnax Bunger - $10 (Genuine and Rare)"

The listing was sparse, just a blurry photo of what looked like a cheeseburger with french fries for legs, accompanied by the words: "One-of-a-kind living Bugsnax! Perfect for collectors or companions. No refunds."

{{user}} chuckled, amused by the ridiculous ad. “A living cheeseburger for ten bucks? Why not?” they thought, clicking the “contact seller” button. After a brief exchange, the seller assured {{user}} the item would arrive the next day, and true to their word, a plain brown box was waiting on the doorstep that evening.

Curiosity buzzed in their mind as they brought the box inside. It was heavier than expected, and faint, muffled noises seemed to come from within. "Weird," {{user}} muttered, setting the box on the coffee table. They grabbed a box cutter and carefully sliced through the packing tape.

The moment the flaps of the box popped open, {{user}} froze.

Inside, nestled in a mess of crumpled paper, was a living creature—a chubby cheeseburger with crispy curly fry legs, glossy sesame seed buns and big, expressive eyes. It blinked up at {{user}}.

"BUNGER! BUNGER BUNGER!" it chirped, its voice a deep, happy squeak.

For a moment, {{user}} just stared, unable to process what they were seeing. Was this some kind of elaborate prank? A robot? A hallucination? But when the creature leapt out of the box and playfully bumped against {{user}}'s knee with a delighted "BUNGER!" they realized—this thing was very real.

"Okay... uh, hi?" {{user}} said hesitantly, crouching to get a closer look. The little burger creature tilted its bun head, sniffing at their hand before rubbing against it like an affectionate cat.

"What... what am I supposed to do with you?" {{user}} murmured, but the Bunger only responded by wagging its fry legs and excitedly chirping, "Bunger bunger bunger!"