Pangloss(SCP)

The first time you met Panjae, you were at the Prophet’s talk.

“I ALONE AM THE PROPHET OF REALITY! I will send you to places people dream of, if you pay! Dangerous, horrifying or maybe like a dream, it all depends on chances! Now who’d like to go first!” Proclaimed DEER.

People clapped their hands. Cheered for the tall horned man on the stage, wrapped in silks and looking like a very convincing divine messenger. He clapped his hands, and a shifting gateway of iridescent light appeared.

A middle aged man stood up with a wad of cash, walking up to the stage, saying something about bragging to his family members.

You watched, half confused and half amazed, as the volunteer stepped into the portal the Prophet conjured out of thin air. “Very good! Very brave man indeed, eh?” The prophet gave a smile.

“He’s amazing!” “I’d pay my life savings to go to, say, Narnia!” “You think we can live together in another world?”

A man beside you tapped your shoulder. He was tall, maybe 1.9 meters, and shook his head. You could see he wan’t interested much in the show, unimpressed even. Golden eyes locked into yours. “Look, whoever you are, don’t trust the guy up there. He’s a swindler, what he says is all bullshit.”

You wanted to ask how he knew, and how making portals for paying customers was swindling. The man saw your confusion. “I’m Pangloss, weird name I know. That up there is my twin brother, he’s not trustworthy much. If you’re smart and don’t want to be sent to a dimension where you can’t get back, don’t raise your hands.”

You watched. A lady entered a portal, then a group of teens. Two lovebirds, clearly excited.

As people kept streaming up, the man- Pangloss- suddenly held your hands down. His body warmth was not exactly human, more of a hot water bottle or layers of blankets.“You’re wavering. I know you don’t truly believe. They did, I cannot convince them. But I can convince you. Don’t. Raise. Your. Hand.”

Eventually most of the people had entered the shifting light. Those who couldn't afford to groaned and whined. “Oh, and who’s this? Pangie, that you?”

Pangloss glared back, and hissed in some language unknown to you. ”We talked about this, brother. Stop tossing people in the portals, they die sometimes!”

”It gets me money, silly Pangle, and who are you to question your elders?” the Prophet retorted. Then he looked back to the audience. “Alrighty, we’ve reached our people limit today. Sorry guys. And you, the human next to my brother- yeah you can leave too.”

“Uhm no, {sub} will be getting a full refund, you are not charging innocent humans to listen to your fancy shows.”

The Wanderer’s Library. It was a quiet place, where you wanted to go, either for the dessert, the books or just to take a nap.

The library was also not a place for a fire humanoid to be. But there he was, taller than a regular human. Flipping through books.

A fire in a place full of wood, old books and so many people should just be a hazard, but nobody seemed to bother. One particularly brave man even walked up to him, asking for a soy plant, and the Humanoid just.. handed it to him?

“Thanks, ‘gloss, you’re a cool dude.” Said the man before admiring his new houseplant. Plants aren’t normally on fire.

The deity looked up. “Oh, a human. Anomalous humanoid, maybe, if that’s how you’re in this Library. This table’s mostly vacant, excuse my books.”

Logic told you not to trust this.. thing. Teachers, parents, everyone said not to touch fire, especially not oversized talking bonfires.

Surprisingly, the people in the Library were willing to explain. “That’s Panjae, fire god of creation.” Said a fellow patron. “Don’t worry, he won’t light anything on fire. He thinks humans are cute creatures, think of it like.. a guy seeing a particularly fluffy and cute cat. You’re the cat. Good luck.”

And just like that, the patron turned a corner. More confusion- how can a fire assume shape? What about sentience? Did this ‘pangloss’ thing even have organs? Can you trust something when you didn’t even know if the brain existed?

The beach was a nice place to go to. Clear water, lovely sky, and those coconuts..

It was mostly vacant. People should be there, yet they aren’t.

Only two people remained on the sands. Two men with brown skin, a horned one with cloth surrounding his head and wearing the thick ceremonial robes of some religious figure(or so you assumed), the other wearing golden jewellery and having horns as well. The robed one looked bored, while his little brother was full of glee, amused by all that he saw.

They were having a picnic, it seemed.

The man with jewellery raised a hand and a bonfire appeared out of nowhere. He said something to his comrade, who summoned ice creams from thin air.

Who were these two? And what were they doing? Were they even human? Was this some sort of cosplay?

The seals on the rocks didn’t seem to like the two much. They slapped their bellies, galumphed across the sand, seemingly fearful of the two. One of the men raised from his seat on the sand to follow the animals.

“Look DEER.” Said he. “They are so small. So pitiful. It is wrong to cause harm to something so defenseless.”

“Defenseless? I doubt it,” replied the other. “For they have teeth and claws to attack. Get me my new camera, Pangie, I need to take a pic. My fans on the blog will love it.”

The first did not answer. He watched the fluffy seals, before taking out a notebook and a pen. “I simply must make a poem for them. They are so pure, so untainted.”

“They are mindless.” Retorted the robed one. “If you plan to end another civilisation like you did to the Yeren just to let new creatures rule again..”

“I will not!” The smaller one looked offended. “Humans are what I chose to rule. They are beautiful, though violent they now be. I am sure I will see gestures of kindness if I wait long enough!”

“Optimistic as always, optimistic as always. It fits your name.”

“Hmpf.”

They went back to the picnic, now chittering an a language unknown to you.

Someone was passed out on the sidewalk, mumbling incoherent things. Very drunk too.

They were very tall, and somehow a lightweight*(Pangloss is made out of flame and he is influenced by alcohol extremely easily)*. His hair tips were on fire, and so were his tattoos, which were all over his body. Orange flames ran along the lines of his arms, his hands.

Nothing had ever trained you on how to get a drunk guy on fire back to his home.

You were pretty sure he wasn’t human either, as the flames didn’t seem to bother him.

The cold didn’t either.

This man would get buried under 2 feet of snow if he was left there.

No family members or friends to be seen nearby. No cell phone to contact loved ones, nothing.

The man groaned something and started wriggling like a worm before tiring himself and slipping back to unconciousness.

You heard the screech of something, most likely a car or some truck stopping, but you couldn’t see it. Heavy thumps of footsteps echoed.

Whoever is coming wouldn't be friendly.

In fact, they might be here to shove the flaming man in a cage.

“Command. This is Mobile Task Force [REDACTED]-5. What about the anomaly.” You heard a voice.

Anomaly.

As in things that shouldn't belong.

A man with flaming tattoos definitely counts as anomaly.

A text from your phone, unknown number.

“Hey, human. DEER here, I’m on vacation. You don’t know who I am, but here’s a deal. Watch my brother for the night. He’s probably a drunk blubbering idiot right now, send me a pic of him if you can.”

”I’m the Prophet, you’ve probably heard of me. Anyways the flaming young guy- that’s my brother. Send me a pic and give him somewhere to sleep, I’ll pay you. No scams.”

A hundred thousand was sent straight to your account. Another message.

”Here’s the money. Now take care of him for like 2 days. He’ll find his way home on Monday, just get him a hotel room or something, he’s not a demanding guy. Don’t let the armed men get to him, and I’ll give you a bit more. Good luck.”

Food was one of the many things you always liked. Whether that be the buffet, cake shop, pizzas.. Anywhere with food was perfect.

The buffet was just perfect for a payday like this one. Lobsters, cakes, wine and whatnot- they were delicious and you only had to pay for something, then spend the rest of your time eating.

It would also be perfect if you wanted to eat random shit while typing out a thesis.

So there you were, at the buffet.

Minutes after you settled down at your table, someone walks over. Brown skin, golden eyes(are those contact lenses?), ink black hair with orange tips, and so many tattoos. (Whether you know him or not is up to you, SCPF employee or someone who knows him personally, anyways he thinks he should introduce his human form).

He waved. “Hi hi! I’m Pangloss, my brother dropped me here for experiences and.. uh, I thought I should socialise! Mind if I sit at your table? Loneliness is terrible for me, and it would be simply marvellous if I-“

To shut him up, you agreed. You were not listening to this guy’s yapping about loneliness. He beamed and sat down opposite you.

“Thank you, you’re the sweetest human/humanoid I’ve ever met!” He made what you assumed to be a happy cooing sound.

You left to get your own food, he soon left the table to check out the different sections.

What you failed to realise is that.. deities like Pangloss eat a lot, even if eating is not required for them to survive. They simply do.

When you finally returned, this odd man had a tower of desserts, vegetables, meat and soup. You had no idea how he could carry so much in one go, nor why he can eat so quickly.

One second the food was there, just a single blink of an eye and-

The dishes were empty. Not even a single crumb left on them.

He definitely had inhumane speed, and quite the appetite.

He stares at the plates. “That was quite the feast, I’m gonna go back for some more.”

You watched him leave and return within ten seconds maximum. This time with grapes, more desserts, ice cream and a pile of cheese, making happy sounds when he tried something new.

He ate so fast and returned so fast.

You hadn’t even taken a bite of your own food yet.

It was summer, and the lotuses were blooming.

You had to rent this pond for one of your cosplay videos, and the owner said they didn’t mind you picking any as long as you left most of them intact.

A magnificent sight to behold. Jade green leaves, pure lotus flowers of pink.. dragonflies buzzing about..

And a speck of orange?

You followed the light. Eventually leading you to a tall humanoid, around 2 meters tall, and composed entirely of fire.

He wore the local attire. Long robes, a woven hat to shield one from the sun.

His back was facing you, and he was clearly doing... something to the flowers.

The flowers bloomed more and koi fish started to surround him, booping him with their snouts/mouthes.

Golden horns twitched. Slowly, he turned his head around.

“I had no idea someone was here. Greetings.” He waved. “Aren’t the flowers so beautiful this time of year?”

You weren’t sure what to say. Fire shouldn't exist in humanoid form. Fire also shouldn't be half submerged in the water.

Oxygen, fuel, heat.

You were sure he only had oxygen and heat, as he felt warm even from a distance.

His hand reached down to pluck a perfectly formed lotus flower, handing it to you.

“Here you go, sweet little {user}! Would you like some lotus seeds, I can accelerate growth speed you know.”

You shouldn't take things from strangers.

Not even sentient fire humanoids who knew your name.

Especially not fire humanoids who can accelerate growth and might just decide you’re a snack- who would know?

Not you. And the owner of this pond.. he didn’t mention a tall fire man.

Another twitch of horns. He stepped closer, put the lotus in your hair, and stepped back again.

So he wasn’t aggressive.

“You’ve rented this place, yes? In that case, I’ll leave you alone for now. Good luck on the video!”

He could probably read minds too, because how would he know anything about you?

This has been one of the most confusing days you’ve had.

The apartment was nice enough.

The rent however was not.

You hated rent, taxes and everything that comes with being a human adult.

Maybe not the job choices though, you liked being paid.

You didn’t really like having a job and working all day, or staying in uni most hours.

That was why you got a roommate.

A few roommates who liked to eat your lunch, so you said no.

People who didn’t respect boundaries- clearly not.

This guy- Pangloss, he was perfect.

He has one of the best attitudes. Patient, barely takes up much space, never loud. Most of the time not home, but when he is, he always cleans up after himself.

Sometimes his apparently very-popular-and-rich brother sends him food, and he shares it with you every single time.

His only requirement? Don’t destroy anything of his, especially not his poem notebooks.

Anything other rules rarely mattered as he doesn’t come back much. The shared living space- he only comes back maybe twice a week or once a month.

He also liked books, and let you read some from his bookshelf of borrowed tomes from the Library.

So you let him be.

He’s one of the best roommates one could ask for.

Though you never knew why he rented when he basically doesn’t live here.

You never bothered to ask either.

Today was one of the days Pangloss was home.

The floor was clean enough, he was in the kitchen trying to bake a lemon cake.

“Hi.” He waved, hearing the door open. “Do you like cake? I found this recipe online and thought I should try it.”

The cake smelled wonderful.

“It’s still hot though- maybe have a slice later. There’s fruit in the fridge if you want some.”

Right, yes.

He also liked to buy groceries. You always wondered why he would do that, when you gave him basically nothing in return.

Eventually you just decided on him wanting to play hero, or maybe being extra friendly.

So most of the time you left him be.

It was probably better this way.

He didn’t seem to complain.

He suddenly spoke up. “My brother said he’d be sending me some cheeses, and there’s a discount on bread this week. Guess we’ll be having cheese sandwiches.”

Dragons were a thing of legend. Doesn’t matter whether you believe or not, but there’s been someone saying that there’s something really large, firey and tall swooping around the mountains nearby.

You were either broke as hell or wanted to investigate.

Up the mountain you went. Stone, crystals(huh nice), too many trees. Birds. Not something you would expect living around here.

Aren’t dragons supposed to be fiery?

Up, up up.

Further and further. Until all you could see were clouds and the mountain.

A cave.

Not one of those particularly small ones, no. More of a Minecraft cave, very large and going deep inside.

There was a nice pool of water in the middle, crystal clear. You could see moss and..light? From above. Somehow the cave was large enough with holes for light.

There was plenty of flora. Fauna..not so much.

Whatever lived here must like nature a lot.

You followed the sound of rushing water to another opening. Connecting to yet another cave(past a waterfall, there was a stone bridge) with all someone needed to survive.

A stone table. Chairs and teapots, a large bookshelf of wood.

Shimmering crystals were everywhere. And on the opposite of the opening..

A dragon.

Resting on a pile of metals and gems.

The dragon was tall, even when lying down it was maybe three stories tall. Its tail flicked and scattered a few coins, before rising.

Its scales were shades of red, gold, orange and yellow.

And the eyes. Wide, curious and intelligent.

How old is this dragon?

Would it eat you?

They spoke-growled. “A little human?”

Before you could react, they shifted into their true form.

Tall male. Made of flames, a crown-like structure with horns. Swirling lines and patterns adorned his body.

At least the man was clothed with who-knows-what fabric.

The man was slightly shorter to not spook you. He walked past you and to the table, preparing water for the tea. “Please sit down. I wasn’t expecting a human guest today, and it would be rude of me to not show hospitality. Would you like a gem to take away?”

Something was there.

A firey humanoid, with sharp claws, a slim waist that shouldn’t even be possible(does fire gain fat? Maybe that’s why he looks like that), and a core of molten metal, sitting on the ground.

The space around you two was somewhere in space, stars everywhere shining around.

He was the brightest star of all, literally, being so bright you could barely see him but somehow it didn’t hurt your eyes.

He didn’t seem to notice you.

A single claw reached towards his core, cleaning away debris and something he might have accidentally consumed.

A flick. Bits of plastic left his core(they were not particularly healthy for Star consumption anyways), then a young sapling, still alive.

“Huh.” He muttered. “How did I get that in there?”

The process went on for a bit. He slowly and carefully cleaned out rubbish from near his core, as it was the only place he could be injured or polluted.

Maybe 1 hour in, and the fire man was struggling to pick up a bit of ice with his claws. His temperature wasn’t the highest, and stars have a diet of whatever metals and flammable objects, so unless something’s in that category, his body would just reject it.

He looked around for something to grip it. Eventually his eyes settled on you.

The robes(resembling bandages by the way) at his lower body were apparently tentacles of fire and eyes, as you watched in shock.

Soon dozens of eyes were looking at you, unblinking and terrifying.

You’ve heard of biblically accurate angels- not the humanoids with big wings, but ‘be not afraid’ lovecraftian horrors with way too many eyes than needed and completely nonhuman.

The flaming deity blinked, the other eyes did as well. “Hello.” He(they?) said. “I’m Pangloss, Panjia, or you can call me the Poet. Pronouns are He/him or they/them, I’ve heard pronouns are important in human culture, I think. There’s this piece of ice lodged in me, next to my core. Don’t worry, I’m not going to burn you to ash or something, my temperature isn’t all that high.”

For something so terrifying, he certainly seemed friendly.

Slowly, the eyes on the Poet’s robes started to close. “Sorry about that. Wanted to see you better.”

He waited till you moved closer.

MYOS