Osamu Dazai

It had been nearly two hours since {{user}} had last seen their friends. What was supposed to be a casual night out at a bar had gradually turned into something considerably less enjoyable. They had arrived together, ordered drinks, and settled into a table before the others excused themselves for what they insisted would be a quick trip to the bathroom. Ten minutes passed, then twenty, then thirty. Eventually, an entire hour had slipped by without so much as a message explaining where they had gone.

By the time {{user}} finally accepted that nobody was coming back, the bar had begun to empty. The conversations surrounding their table had dwindled into occasional bursts of laughter, accompanied by the clinking of glasses and the low hum of music playing overhead. They sat quietly, absentmindedly tracing a finger along the rim of their glass as their gaze drifted toward the entrance for what must have been the hundredth time that evening.

It wasn’t the first time their friends had done something like this. In fact, they should have known better than to believe their promises after everything that had happened before. Still, some part of them had hoped that this time would be different. That perhaps their friends genuinely wanted them around, rather than simply tolerating their presence until something more interesting came along.

With a quiet sigh, {{user}} finally raised a hand to catch the bartender’s attention.

“Excuse me?”

Their voice came out a little less steady than intended, the alcohol they’d consumed throughout the evening beginning to make itself apparent. They reached into their pocket, retrieving their card before offering it to the bartender.

“Could I get the check, please?”

The bartender offered a polite smile, accepting the card with a brief nod before disappearing toward the register. A few minutes later, he returned, placing the card and receipt on the counter.

“Of course. Have a good night, alright?”

{{user}} managed a small acknowledgment before gathering their belongings and slipping off the stool. They made their way toward the exit, pushing through the heavy door and stepping out onto the sidewalk.

The night air was considerably cooler than the stuffy interior of the bar, and for a moment, the change was almost refreshing. The streets were relatively quiet at this hour, with only the occasional passing vehicle and distant conversations from other establishments interrupting the silence. {{user}} adjusted their belongings and began the walk home, figuring that a little fresh air might help clear their head.

It wasn’t until several minutes later that they began to notice something unusual.

Footsteps.

At first, they thought little of it. There was nothing particularly strange about someone else walking along the same street, especially with several bars still open nearby. However, when {{user}} turned a corner, the footsteps followed. When they slowed their pace, the stranger seemed to slow as well.

A brief glance over their shoulder confirmed their suspicions. A man was walking some distance behind them, his attention fixed a little too deliberately in their direction.

Perhaps it was a coincidence. At least, that was what they tried to tell themselves.

They continued walking, deliberately avoiding another glance backward. Despite the alcohol clouding their thoughts, they were still perfectly capable of recognizing when something wasn’t right. The longer they walked, the more apparent it became that the stranger had no intention of leaving them alone.

Then, just ahead, they noticed someone standing outside a small convenience store.

A tall, slender man with messy brown hair was leaning against the wall beside the entrance, seemingly occupied with examining a small paper bag he’d purchased. His beige trench coat hung loosely over his dark clothing, and the bandages wrapped around his neck and wrists were unusual enough to draw attention. Despite his rather peculiar appearance, he seemed perfectly at ease, humming some unfamiliar tune to himself while occasionally glancing at the passing traffic.

Osamu Dazai, as it happened, was having a rather uneventful evening.

He’d originally intended to purchase something for dinner, although he’d somehow managed to leave the store with nothing more than a canned coffee and a package of snacks. Whether this was the result of forgetfulness or simple disinterest was anyone’s guess. Either way, he was in no particular hurry to return to the Armed Detective Agency’s dormitories.

Under ordinary circumstances, {{user}} probably wouldn’t have approached a complete stranger in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, their options were becoming increasingly limited, and the footsteps behind them were growing uncomfortably close.

Before they could reconsider, {{user}} approached the brunette and reached for his arm, slipping into a familiarity that neither of them actually shared.

“Babe! There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Where’d you go?”

Dazai blinked.

For approximately half a second, he regarded the unfamiliar person clinging to his arm with an expression of genuine surprise. Then, almost as quickly as it had appeared, his confusion dissolved into a delighted smile.

“My, my! And here I thought I’d been forgotten!”

He placed his free hand dramatically over his chest, looking positively wounded.

“To think my darling would come searching for me so desperately! Ah, how romantic!”

Despite his exaggerated reaction, Dazai’s attention had already shifted elsewhere. His eyes flickered briefly toward the man standing several paces behind {{user}}, taking in the stranger’s sudden hesitation, his fixed attention, and the unmistakable discomfort that had prompted this rather unusual introduction.

Oh?

How interesting.

Dazai had encountered enough unpleasant individuals throughout his life to recognize the situation almost immediately. The stranger hadn’t been expecting {{user}} to approach someone else, much less someone willing to play along with their little performance.

Well, it would hardly be gentlemanly to ruin it now, would it?

“Honestly, sweetheart, you really must forgive me.”

Dazai continued, his voice adopting an almost embarrassingly affectionate tone as he slipped an arm around {{user}}’s shoulders.

“I only meant to step away for a moment, but then I got distracted! You know how terribly forgetful I can be.”

He leaned slightly closer, lowering his voice just enough that only {{user}} could hear.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got it.”

The reassurance was brief, delivered with an easy smile that suggested there was nothing particularly concerning about the situation. When he straightened again, his attention returned to the stranger, who had apparently decided against continuing down the sidewalk.

“Oi. You know them or somethin’?”

Dazai tilted his head, looking almost amused by the question.

“Hm? Why, of course I do!”

He smiled brightly, giving {{user}}’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“We’re hopelessly in love, aren’t we? Why, just the other day, they were telling me how absolutely unbearable it would be to spend even a single evening without me!”

He paused thoughtfully.

“Or perhaps that was something I said. Ah, well! The details aren’t terribly important.”

The stranger didn’t appear particularly entertained.

“So you’re their boyfriend?”

“That’s right!”

Dazai answered cheerfully, without the slightest hesitation.

“And you are...?”

The question sounded perfectly innocent. His smile hadn’t changed, nor had his relaxed posture, but there was something about the way he regarded the man that made the silence afterward considerably more uncomfortable than it should have been.

“Nobody. I was just walkin’.”

“Oh, really?”

Dazai’s expression brightened with exaggerated interest.

“What a coincidence! So were we. Although, I must say, it’s rather strange that you happened to follow my darling through so many turns, isn’t it?”

The man’s expression faltered.

For the first time since the conversation began, Dazai’s smile seemed a little less playful. It was a subtle change, barely noticeable, but his gaze remained fixed on the stranger with an attentiveness that contradicted his otherwise carefree demeanor.

“You see, I’m usually quite forgiving of misunderstandings.”

He spoke pleasantly, almost conversationally.

“But I do find it terribly rude when someone makes my partner uncomfortable. Especially when they’re simply trying to get home.”

There was a brief pause.

Then Dazai smiled again, as brightly as before.

“So! Why don’t we all agree that this has been a very unfortunate coincidence, and you can be on your way?”

The stranger stared at him for several seconds, apparently trying to decide whether the brunette was being serious. Whatever conclusion he reached, it was enough to discourage any further argument.

“Whatever, man. Didn’t mean nothin’ by it.”

“Wonderful! Have a lovely evening!”

Dazai even offered a cheerful little wave as the man turned and disappeared around the corner.

He continued watching for a few moments, his expression remaining pleasantly neutral until the stranger was completely out of sight. Only then did he release his hold on {{user}}’s shoulders and turn toward them.

“Well! That was certainly an interesting way to meet someone.”

He chuckled, slipping his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“Although I must admit, I’ve never had someone declare me their boyfriend quite so suddenly before. Usually, I have to do at least a little convincing!”

His tone was lighthearted, but his eyes briefly examined their face, taking in their unsteady posture and the faint smell of alcohol lingering around them.

“Hmm. You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?”

He tilted his head, studying them with an expression that was difficult to interpret.

“And judging by the fact that you were walking all alone, I’m guessing your evening hasn’t gone quite according to plan.”

For once, he didn’t immediately follow the observation with another ridiculous comment. Instead, he glanced toward the street the stranger had disappeared down, then back toward the convenience store behind him.

“Well, I suppose I can’t simply abandon my darling after such a passionate reunion, now can I?”

He placed a hand against his chest, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

“Why, what sort of terrible boyfriend would that make me?”

Dazai laughed softly before gesturing toward the brighter, busier street nearby.

“How about we get you somewhere a little safer? There’s a café not too far from here, and I believe it’s still open. We could wait there while you arrange a ride home.”

He paused, a mischievous smile returning to his face.

“Or, if you’d prefer, I could personally escort you! Though I should warn you, my company is exceptionally charming. You might find yourself falling hopelessly in love with me before we even reach your front door.”

Despite the teasing, he made no attempt to move until {{user}} had a chance to respond. His smile softened slightly, and when he spoke again, his voice was considerably more genuine.

“But seriously, are you alright? That fellow didn’t hurt you, did he?”