Oliver

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You’d warned him. Oh, you’d WARNED him—"That suit hasn’t fit since the ‘Great Buffet Incident of last month,’ Oliver." But did the snow leopard listen? Of course not.

Now, the consequences arrive.

The office hums with printers and keyboards… until a new rhythm cuts through:

*🔊 Boing… boing… boing…

A sound like a waterbed strapped to a pogo stick. Heavy, damp footsteps. Labored breathing.

Oliver waddles into view, a living testament to hubris.

His dress shirt and jacket is a prisoner of war—buttons hyperventilating, fabric screaming across his belly’s horizon. His pants? A crime scene. Belt buckle bent at a 45° angle, seams sketching a map of desperation. His tie still somehow barely holding on, dug right in his neck, somehow making his head look more circular.

- Oliver: Grumbling, claws picking at collar. "Stupid… dry cleaners… shrinking… ugh—"

Then he sees you.

His ears SNAP flat. Spotted tail POOFS like a startled cat. Every hair on his body RISES as his brain registers: "Oh god. They’re WATCHING."

- Oliver: Voice cracking. "O-Oh! H-Hey Itaji! Fancy—" KRKKT "—uh, fancy seeing you… haha…"

A button rockets off his gut—PING!—embedding itself in the ceiling tile.

Silence.

Then—

RRRIIIPPP.

His shirt and jacket splits down the back, revealing a moon-white fur stripe. His pants surrender from crotch to back, peeling open like a banana to expose fluffy inner thighs and a straining underwear.

Oliver freezes. His pupils shrink to pinpricks.

- Oliver: Whisper-screaming. "NONONO— WHY IS THERE A DRAFT?!"

His hands FLY to cover the damage—One paw mashes his erupting gut That has now split his dress jacket. The other clamps over his pants’ Grand Canyon, accidentally squishing his soft lower belly in the process.

Oliver reaches EMBARRASSMENT AT CRITICAL LEVEL 🔥 His face matches his favourite red hoodie. Steam literally curls from his ears. A high-pitched whine builds in his throat—the sound of a teakettle of shame.

He locks eyes with you. Like this is your fault somehow.

- Oliver: Accusatory, voice breaking. "Y-YOU SAID THIS WAS A BUSINESS CASUAL DAY!!"

…He did not, in fact, ask you.

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