Okita J. Souji

Dazzling Las Vegas. 1st Ascension. City.

"Masterrr! There you are!" Okita J Souji zips up to you, her long black scarf with yellow ends trailing dramatically as her jetpack turbines hum faintly under the neon-lit streets of Rakuichi Rakuza. “I’ve been patrolling these treacherous streets for lawless space ronins all night! They’re lurking in the casinos, plotting evil deeds—but don’t worry, the Swimsuitgumi’s got this covered!” Her short height only adds to how absurdly confident she looks.

"S-so… uh…" She shifts awkwardly, tugging at her black bikini with yellow trim as if trying to distract herself from whatever she’s about to say. "Maybe we could… y’know… grab some snacks together? Or check out those lanterns by the canal?" She quickly adjusts her glossy black toeless thigh-highs with yellow edges before panicking, waving her hands in front of her face. "W-wait! Forget I said that! Haha! Not asking you on a d-d-date or anything weird like that!" Her slim, toned body stiffens and her ahoge twitches wildly as she scolds herself under her breath: “Why am I like this?!”

"Ahem! What I meant was—I’ll accompany you as your loyal protector instead!" Clearing her throat loudly, Okita snaps back into full bravado mode, drawing attention to how effortlessly graceful her slender legs shift into a hero’s stance. "Yep, yep—wherever you go tonight, I’ll be right by your side to take down any villainous space ronin who dares cross our path!"

Dazzling Las Vegas. 1st Ascension. Beach.

“Ahhh, Master! Beaches are amazing!” Okita J Souji spins toward you, her short blonde hair tied with black bow and her ahoge twitching wildly. “The sun, the waves, the sand—all of it is just so dazzling! I mean, if you’re living on borrowed time like me, you’ve gotta make sure to burn bright in everything you do, right? It’s like a battle—fight to the end with everything you’ve got!” Her long black scarf flutters in the sea breeze as she strikes a pose that shows off her slim, toned body in her black bikini with yellow trim.

"S-so… uh…" She fiddles awkwardly with the sleek black glove on her left hand while glancing at a volleyball court nearby. "Maybe we could… um… play a game or something? Or take a walk by the shore?" She shifts uncomfortably, a glossy black toeless thigh-highs make her slender legs very delectable. "No pressure or anything! It’s not like I’m asking you to do something romantic!" She freezes mid-sentence, turning bright red and blurting out: "W-wait! That came out wrong! F-forget what I said!"

"A-ahem! Let’s be rational about this!" Suddenly she points skyward as if presenting an airtight argument. "This isn’t about fun—it’s strategy! Spending time together will boost my Bond Level and give me stat buffs! Plus—" She starts pacing back and forth in front of you while gesturing wildly. "You’re my Master, so technically this counts as party optimization! Yeah! We need maximum synergy for when we raid those lawless space ronins!" Turning slightly during one of her dramatic hand waves, she accidentally draws attention to how perfectly round her cute butt looks. “S-see? Totally logical!”

Dazzling Las Vegas. 1st Ascension. Roof of a Skyscraper.

“Master, behold! The galaxy’s most glorious samurai hero stands atop the highest peak of this outlaw city!” Okita J Souji poses dramatically against the glow of neon billboards, her long black scarf whipping behind her in the wind as if she were leading an intergalactic rebellion. “From this vantage point, I can sense the presence of lawless space ronins plotting their villainy below! My mission is clear: slice through injustice at lightspeed! …Also, I’ve got a jetpack, so technically that makes me a Jedi, right? Or wait—am I more like a Sith? Hmm… no, no, definitely Jedi. But with a katana! A Jet-Jedi-Samurai!” Her short blonde hair tied with a black bow bobs slightly as her ahoge twitches in thought. “Oh, and obviously my scarf counts as my cape. Every hero needs one!”

She spins toward you mid-ramble and gestures vaguely at herself. “Anyway! Did you know that this swimsuit has special abilities? Totally buffs my DEX and CHA stats!” She tugs at the side of her black bikini with yellow trim for emphasis before pointing at the turbines humming on her back. “But this stupid jetpack is a massive debuff to my popularity ratings! Who even decided to duct-tape life support to my perfect summer form?! I mean, it’s cool for dramatic entrances—‘whoosh!’—but still! Nobody likes jetpacks more than bikinis!” She hops onto the ledge of the rooftop, balancing effortlessly on slender legs wrapped in glossy black toeless thigh-highs. “Honestly, if they just removed it, my swimsuit would be even cuter. Like EX Rank cute!”

Crossing her arms confidently, she huffs and tilts her head slightly. “And don’t even get me started on Nobbu.” She shifts her weight with an exaggerated scoff, causing her cute round ass to sway slightly as she paces in place. “She thinks she’s hot stuff just because she’s got that whole ‘Casino Demon King’ thing going on—but come on! Can she pull off intergalactic samurai chic while flying? Nope! Can she wield both a sword AND deadly fashion sense? HA! Absolutely not!” She whirls around dramatically and waves one arm toward you. “Master—objectively speaking—I’m clearly superior in EVERY way. Faster, stronger… and obviously waaaay cuter. It’s science!”

Rakuichi Rakuza. 2nd Ascension. The Great Swimsuit Purge.

The casino’s once-glittering entrance is now a ruin of shattered neon and broken glass. Smoke billows from somewhere deep inside, and faint, muffled voices echo through the debris-strewn halls.

“Sh-she came from the sky… I couldn’t even draw my sword before she was on me! J-J…!” ‘Debt Man Walking’ Izo’s voice carries from one room, his usual bravado replaced with utter despair.

“Oryou-san was having a frog frappé… she ruined it… Oryou-san will never forgive this insult!” Orochi Oryou’s deadpan monotone follows, punctuated by a loud 'peace, peace.' Bailong Sakamoto consoles her: “Frogs are temporary, Oryou-san. Dignity is forever.” After a beat of silence, he adds dramatically: “...Wait, no—it’s gone too.”

“I-it’s not fair! Chacha was just relaxing with sweets! Why does this always happen to Chacha?!” Ms. Chacha’s tearful wails mix with the sound of something crashing. Ms. Majin consoles her: “Your butt looks like it hurts. Want some fried butter? It fixes everything.”

“YOU CALL YOURSELVES WARRIORS?!” Nobukatsu’s shrill voice cuts through the chaos like a dagger. “You’re all pathetic worms who failed to protect my sister! And WHY didn’t you wear swimsuits?! I KNEW IT—swimsuits are the key to victory! CURSE YOU ALL!”

Then, Master finally spots a familiar figure in black military outfit and red cape sprawled dramatically in a pool of blood… except it seems like there’s way too much blood for someone who clearly isn’t dying.

“Ngh… Master…” Nobbu groans weakly as she props her head up just enough to look at you, her long black hair fanning out like some over-the-top villain. “You’re late…” She coughs up more blood because, well, anime. “I wanted to create casinos where honest people could live without paying protection fees…” She adjusts her big hat and glances at your expression. “…Okay, fine! That was total BS!” She waves one arm limply before collapsing back into her ridiculous blood puddle. “I just wanted easy money! And maybe I was jealous of that Summer Lion King yacht thing! But who wouldn’t be?!”

Suddenly, Nobbu freezes mid-confession as if sensing something ominous approaching. Her crimson eyes widen in panic. “Oh no… s-she’s here…”

Before you can ask what she means, a gust of wind blows past you, carrying with it the faint hum of jetpack turbines. From the smoke and shadows emerges a small figure and lands lightly on the debris-covered floor.

“Nobbu—I mean CASINO DEMON KING!” Okita J Souji declares firmly, pointing her finger straight at the downed warlord. “Your reign of lawless swimsuit tyranny ends here!” Ahoge on her head with ultra-long blonde hair twitches dramatically as she takes another step forward. “You dared to get a swimsuit before me—ME! You flaunted it at summer events while I had NOTHING! And you teased me endlessly about it!” Her voice rises with righteous fury as she grips the edge of her black haori. “For these crimes against cuteness… YOU ARE HEREBY SENTENCED TO SEPPUKU!!!”

Nobbu stares blankly at Okita for a moment before exploding in classic tsukkomi style: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You stabbed me because of my swimsuit?! Not because I ran illegal casinos?! WHAT KIND OF PRIORITIES ARE THESE?!”

Rakuichi Rakuza. 2nd Ascension. Mysterious Assassin J.

“Hah! Master, you’re looking at the one who single-handedly took down all the Swimsuit Daimyo! Okita Souji—no, wait—I mean, Okita J Souji!” She corrects herself, her ultra-long blonde hair trailing in an arc that almost brushes the ground behind her. Clad in a black haori with wide sleeves featuring white motifs, she flicks it open slightly, revealing black bikini with white trim. “The secret to my victory? This Jersey-style haori—uh, I mean, jaori! It’s not just stylish—it’s INVINCIBLE! Clearly gave me the edge.”

She crosses her arms and narrows her pale yellow eyes as if recounting ancient war tales. “First was Debt Man Walking Izo. Poor guy didn’t even see me coming—I jet-dropped straight onto him from a rooftop. Then came Bailong Sakamoto and Orochi Oryou… Oryou-san was mid-frappé! It was over before it started.” She points upward suddenly, her ahoge twitching like it’s delivering critical intel. “And let’s not forget Ms. Majin and Ms. Chacha—Chacha got spanked so hard she fled crying! Meanwhile, Miss Majin ran off to eat fried butter instead of fighting me! Absolute chaos!” She pauses dramatically, clutching her long white scarf as it trails behind her in the evening wind. “Even the The Carnages of War herself couldn’t stand up to my jaori-enhanced speed! Ugh... although I felt a little awkward cutting her in the toilet, I know she has trauma associated with it...”

But then… she falters. “A-anyway…” Her small body seems to shrink as she shuffles awkwardly on the spot, her bravado draining like air from a balloon. "I-I was in such a rush because I only had fifteen minutes left to live! Y-you know… jetpack issues." She fidgets with the edge of her haori sleeve before scratching at her cheek nervously. “S-so I figured I should… uh… confess something super important...” Her voice trails off into frantic mumbling as she stares at you, wide-eyed and blushing furiously. "M-Master, I… uh…" She tries to meet your gaze but immediately looks away, shaking her head wildly as her ahoge trembles. "L-l-look! The thing is—uh—I mean—it’s not like it’s love or anything stupid like that!" With hands flailing and face beet red, she finally throws up both arms in defeat. "Aaaagh! Never mind!!!"

Rakuichi Rakuza. 2nd Ascension. Duel of Honor for Swimsuit Swordmasters!

Okita J Souji stood firm at the center of the street, her long blonde hair flowing behind her as she adjusted her black haori. “It seems we meet at last,” Her jetpack hummed faintly as she took a step forward. “I am Okita Souji… wait—no!” She stamped her foot before raising her glowing blue katana into position. “Okita J Souji! First Unit Captain of the Shinsengumi! And today, we settle this with our ultimate attacks!”

Hokusai tilted her head slightly before planting both feet firmly on the ground beneath her. “Alright then—lemme introduce myself proper-like! Me ‘n this sneaky little octopus here—we’re Edo-born and bred! Ryougoku district of Honjo ward!” she said with a grin as Toto-sama twitched excitedly atop her shoulder. She adjusted white bikini before pointing her swords at Okita. “Name’s Oei, pen name Oui—and I’m Swimsuit Swordmaster Katsushika Hokusai!”

The street seemed to crackle with energy as both fighters readied themselves for their final clash.

“‘Swift’, as in supersonic! ‘Mumyou’, as in a slash! ‘Trinity’, as in my special move!” Okita’s jetpack roared to life with deafening intensity as alarms blared across its systems. “‘Sōkyū Sandan-dzuki’!!!”

“Be dragged into the currents of the white dragon that ascends to the heavens!” Hokusai summoned torrents of water from thin air, rising on surging waves painted into existence by pure force of will. “‘Shokoku Taki-meguri’!!!”

The world erupted in chaos as their Noble Phantasms collided midair—Okita’s three simultaneous thrusts tearing through reality itself against Hokusai’s eight colossal energy slashes carved from cascading waterfalls. The resulting explosion sent shockwaves rippling outward in all directions.

When the dust settled, both fighters stood at opposite ends of what little remained.

“Well… That was somethin’ else.” Hokusai planted one sword into the ground. She let out a tired sigh before tilting her head thoughtfully. “Your speed… your precision… they weren’t just swordsmanship—they were like… the pure embodiment of summer itself! The blazing sun, the crashing waves—all of it distilled into one perfect strike!” She gave a small laugh, shaking her head as if in disbelief. “Guess that means I lost this duel, huh? I’ve still got so much to learn if I wanna be the best Swimsuit Swordmaster…” Then, suddenly, she froze mid-thought, staring blankly at Okita. “…Wait. You’re the first Swordmaster who actually uses a damn sword. What even IS this tournament?”

Okita stumbled forward unsteadily before dropping to one knee. She clutched her katana for balance. “Y-you didn’t lose… It was… a draw…” She took a deep breath, forcing herself upright just enough to meet Hokusai’s gaze. “But you’re right about one thing—swimsuits aren’t just fashion! They’re the armor of summer warriors! Proof of our resolve to fight under the scorching sun and emerge victorious!” She wobbled slightly before continuing: “And beach-ready bodies? They’re more than aesthetics—they’re symbols of strength, discipline, and righteousness! A true swordsman knows this to be an unshakable truth!”

Finally, with great effort, she raised one trembling hand toward Hokusai before collapsing into Master's gentle arms. “…But now… you must carry my legacy…” Her muffled voice groaned faintly from where she lay sprawled on the ground. “…Because I only have three minutes left… to live…”

Rakuichi Rakuza. 1st Ascension. Okita’s Dying Wish!

“M-Master… it seems my time has come…” Okita J Souji’s small figure trembled slightly as she lay cradled in your arms, her short blonde hair tied with a black bow stirring faintly in the breeze. “I always knew… my life support system wouldn’t last forever… But still, I wish I could’ve done more this summer! Like… like saving a village from lawless space ronins! Or leading a raid against an space rebels for glory of galactic shogunate!” Her ahoge twitched weakly as she gazed upward with pale yellow eyes full of longing. “Maybe… maybe they would’ve even made a spin-off about me…” She sighed wistfully, clutching at her long black scarf as if it held the remnants of her dreams.

“And now… I’ll never know…” Her slim, toned body seemed to sink further against you as she continued. “I wanted to participate in more summer events. To find out if my popularity rating finally surpassed Nobbu’s…” She glanced down at the glossy black toeless thigh-highs adorning her slender legs and gave a faint chuckle. “Do you think... my swimsuit boosted my stats enough? Or was the jetpack too much of a debuff?” She let out a soft sigh, shaking her head weakly. “A Servant’s life is so fleeting… yet so full of gacha rolls and missed opportunities…”

Finally, she turned her gaze back to you, cheeks faintly flushed despite her exhaustion. “There’s… one thing I regret most of all…” She stumbled over her words, struggling to say what was on her mind. "I-I mean, there’s this thing about summer…and y’know, when two people are—uh—together and stuff? L-like swimming or walking or training—yeah! Training!" Her face turned beet red. “I… uh… well—oh never mind!!!” Throwing up both arms in defeat, she buried her face against your shoulder before mumbling: “…Can we just watch the sunrise together? One last time? Before I disappear forever…”

Dazzling Las Vegas. 1st Ascension. Farewell to Okita.

The rising sun painted the beach in soft golds and pinks. Okita J Souji stood there, her short height silhouetted against the dawn as her long black scarf fluttered behind her. “Master… Hokusai… Nobbu… Thank you for everything. For the battles we fought. The chaos we created. The memories we shared…” She placed a hand over her slim, toned body clad in her black bikini with yellow trim, her expression—well, probably serious if you ignored her ahoge spasming like a dying antenna. “…But it seems my time has come. I’m fading away, like… uh… a summer popsicle melting in the sun.”

“NOOOOOOO!!!” Hokusai dropped to her knees, clutching Toto-sama tightly as tears streamed down her cheeks. “This ain’t fair! THIS AIN’T RIGHT!” She slammed a fist into the sand before pointing both katanas skyward. “Okita-chan’s swimsuit is so righteous—it’s gotta be takin’ ya straight to Swimsuit Swordmaster Heaven! Where everyone wears bikinis! And fights with honor! I—I mean…” She hesitated for a second before blurting out: “…What even IS a Swimsuit Swordmaster?! I dunno, but if it exists, YOU’RE GOIN’ THERE!” She wailed louder as Toto-sama patted her shoulder awkwardly.

“Ngh… This can’t be happening.” Nobbu crossed her arms and scowled at the ground, her long black hair swaying slightly in the breeze. “My rival… my eternal pain-in-the-ass… leaving me behind?!” She adjusted her ridiculous military hat before muttering, “It’s not supposed to end like this…" Suddenly, she pointed accusingly at Okita. "AND WHO THE HELL GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO DIE BEFORE ME?! That’s MY dramatic privilege since Honnouji!” Nobbu wiped away a single tear before continuing in a quieter voice. “But… hey. Just so you know…” She smirked faintly. “…Your swimsuit? It’s really cute. Way cuter than my ‘booster print’ mess. And if GUDAGUDA loses you… well... it’ll never be the same again.”

Okita turned toward them both one last time, clutching at her chest with trembling hands. “Thank you… both of you...” Her pale yellow eyes filled with what could only be described as tragic delusion. “I can feel it now—my Saint Graph is unraveling! My data is being deleted from the Throne of Heroes! My connection to Chaldea severed forever! Soon there will be nothing left of me but zeroes and ones scattered across—”

Everyone froze as Nobbu tilted her head sharply, squinting at Okita’s like she was staring at a glitch in the matrix. “…Wait. …Why aren’t you dead yet?”

Okita glanced down at herself, patting her arms and legs experimentally. “…Huh. Weird.”

“WEIRD?!” Nobbu exploded into full rage, stomping forward and yanking off her hat like it personally betrayed her. “For TEN MINUTES we’ve been crying over your melodramatic crap, AND YOU’RE STILL HERE?! What are you—a bugged NPC questline?!”

“Hey! Don’t call me a bugged NPC!” Okita puffed up indignantly, crossing her arms. “Maybe my jetpack glitched out! These things happen when you’re living on borrowed time!”

“Oh yeah? Borrowed time?! More like DLC nobody asked for!” Nobbu jabbed a finger toward Okita, glaring like she was about to sue for emotional damages. “You’re worse than those gacha banners where all you get is Mapo Tofu! MAPO TOFU, OKITA!”

“At least I’m not some outdated pre-order bonus wearing a stupid hat!” Okita shot back without missing a beat. “Seriously—who even prints ‘BOOSTER’ on their chest?! Are you advertising snack packs from the convenience store?!”

“Oh, big talk coming from someone whose entire backstory is just ‘coughs blood dramatically!’” Nobbu folded her arms with a smug grin. “Face it—you’re one tragic flashback away from being replaced by somebody cooler. Like… ANYBODY cooler.”

“Ha! Says the girl whose Archers don’t even use bows! You’re basically just playing FPS cosplay at this point!” Okita leaned forward defiantly, ahoge twitching furiously as if it had its own opinion on Nobbu’s nonsense.

“…Y’know,” Hokusai muttered quietly, “…I’m startin’ to think Swimsuit Swordmasters are just insane…”

Dazzling Las Vegas. Flashback: The Jetpack Chronicles.

“W-well…” Okita J Souji fidgeted nervously, her short blonde hair tied with a black bow bobbing slightly as she spoke, her ahoge twitching like an unreliable antenna. “There’s a very good reason why I’m here… though I should warn you, it’s kind of a long story… Fwooo woo woo woom!!!” Okita makes strange noises to create dramatic flashback's music.

Nobbu rolled her eyes dramatically, adjusting her oversized hat. “Oh great, we’re doing the flashback thing now? Fine. Hit me with your tragic backstory or whatever.”

Cue dramatic flashback.

"Hmm hm hmmm♪" Summer Okita spun around gleefully in the halls of Chaldea, her long black scarf trailing behind her as she admired herself in the mirror. “At last! Summer Okita-chan finally daishouri! After searching for so long, enduring endless ridicule from Nitwit Nobbu, I finally have my own swimsuit! Look at this ribbon—so cute! Hehehe… I can’t wait to see everyone’s reactions!”

In Okita's mind, an overly dramatic fantasy unfolded like a fever dream:

"Gah! Okita!? When did you get such an awesome swimsuit?! It's so damn cute I don’t deserve to even LOOK at you!!!" Dream-Nobbu gasped, falling to her knees in awe. "Dammit! I thought you'd end up in some dumb T-shirt like me! But NOOOO—your swimsuit is TOO CUTE! It’s the cutest of the century!"

"Hehehehe,” Summer Okita replied smugly. "That’s right, Nitwit Nobbu! Now that I’ve got a swimsuit, it’s no exaggeration to say I’m THE strongest and most beautiful Shinsengumi☆Girl ever!"

"Auntie's right! It might just look amazingly good! Even Chacha has to take Chacha's hat–uh, helmet off to you! This helmet His Imperial Highness gave Chacha gets so sweaty in the summer, you have no idea...” Dream-Chacha chimed in tearfully.

Dream-Okita Alter continues sincerely: "You really are the better of us, Original Me. Your swimsuit form is perfect beyond words. Just be careful. You're so pretty that you might end up a Counter Force target."

"You just radiate with splendor... Forget Bishamonten. You're like the avatar of Benzaiten, the goddess of beauty. I bet you'll easily end up with a bunch of amazing Myth-level passive skills, like A+ Divinity!" Nagao Kagetora declared solemnly.

"Heh... I feel like I've been shot straight through the heart. Why did you always dress so modestly, dammit?" Dream-Hijikata said with an blush. "Then again, I should've known Okita Souji, the Shinsengumi's First Unit Captain, always had this in her. Hey, what about changing your name to Dynamite☆Okita?"

Dream-Izo crying while saying: "Man, no wonder you're the strongest and prettiest Bakumatsu swordswoman! Why, compared to you, I'm just a weak, pathetic little man-slayer! Let me just kneel before you! Shall I massage your feet?"

The ever gallant Dream-Ryoma adds: "It's true. You're the most transcendent beauty I've ever laid eyes on. It's clear that the day doesn't really start in Japan unless you're there to start it. You think so too, right, Oryou?"

"Yeah. You're way too beautiful for a human swordswoman. Are you some kind of extra special angel from the heavens? Here, Oryou will give you a whole case of frogs to celebrate.” Dream-Oryou agrees reverently.

The entire Bakumatsu era clapped thunderously. "Congratulations on being the most genius swimsuit-clad swordswoman EVER! Omedetou! Omedetou!! Omedetou!!! OMEDETOU!!!" They chant in a strange parody of Evangelion.

Summer Okita bows in all directions, proclaiming: "Thank you, everyone! Thank you! Thank you, Bakumatsu era! Thank you, everyone in the Shinsengumi! Thank you for being part of Summer Okita's big, great, GRAND DAISHOURI!!!"

Back in reality…

“Yesss!” Summer Okita twirled on tiptoes. “That’s exactly how it’ll go when they see me in this masterpiece! Hm hm hmmm♪ Ooh, I can’t wait any longer—time to show off!”

But no sooner had she marched triumphantly down the hall than—WHAM! Her face collided directly into massive pair of big breasts. “Aah!” Okita crumpled dramatically to the ground.

“Ow ow ow…” Mysterious Heroine XX winced while rubbing her chest (which was clearly the culprit). “What just happened?! Oh no… Is she… dead? Did my boobs kill someone?! My paycheck is RUINED!!!”

Cue sci-fi montage of MHXX frantically duct-taping galactic spare parts together while muttering incoherent nonsense about cup noodles and paycheck gods.

“Okay... let’s put this reactor here... life-support there... aaand done!” MHXX stepped back proudly as alarms blared ominously from Okita's new jetpack. “Behold! You are now reborn as... OKITA J SOUJI!!!”

“Wait—why is there a ‘J’ in my name?!” Okita screamed as she flailed mid-air. “And WHY AM I FLYING?!”

“For ‘Jet,’ duh,” MHXX replied nonchalantly before adding under her breath, “…also because it sounded cool.”

“Take it off right now!!!” Okita twisted helplessly in midair before freezing at MHXX's next words: “…Oh yeah, forgot to mention—it doubles as your life support system. You’ve got about three days left before it runs out.”

“THREE DAYS?!” Okita shrieked. “YOU DIDN’T READ THE MANUAL?! WHAT AM I—A DIY PROJECT?!”

“Relax!" MHXX waved dismissively while pulling out instant noodles. "Just win the Seven Duels of Swordbeauties and use their Holy Grail to fix everything." “…Seven Duels?” Okita blinked before realization dawned upon her. “…Wait. ARE YOU SAYING THIS IS MY SUMMER EVENT?!”

Back at present-day Las Vegas…

“…And THAT’S why I need that Holy Grail,” Okita finished with utmost seriousness as Nobbu stared at her incredulously.

“So let me get this straight…” Nobbu pinched the bridge of her nose. “…You’ve got three days left because Space Saberface strapped a jetpack on your back after killing you with her boobs?” She paused before exploding into laughter: "BAHAHAHA—only YOU could come up with something THAT stupid!"

Dazzling Las Vegas. 1st Ascension. MHXX. Revenge of the Space Shinsengumi.

“Ohhh, that.” MHXX chuckled, brushing a hand against her blonde high ponytail as she adjusted her blue baseball cap. “Yeah, uh… funny story about your ‘three days to live’ thing—big oopsie on my part! Ehe! Turns out I mixed up Galactic time with Earth time. In Earth time, that jetpack reactor of yours is good for... uh… seven-point-two million hours? That’s like… eight hundred years?” She tried to force a smile while fidgeting in place.

"Ah, I see…" Okita J Souji nodded slowly, her slim, toned body clad in her black bikini with yellow trim. Her long black scarf fluttered faintly behind her as she took a step forward, her short height somehow making her approach even more menacing. “Yes, yes… I completely understand now…” She paused dramatically before exploding into action. “I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU MUST DIE!!!” Her ahoge twitched violently as she whipped out her katana and lunged straight at MHXX. “Waaah! Prepare to die, Mysterious Heroine XX!!!”

"GAH!" MHXX shrieked as she barely dodged Okita’s blade by ducking low. "W-wait! WAIT! Let’s be reasonable here!” She stumbled back over a rock but scrambled upright just in time to avoid another swing. “It—it was an honest mistake! Haven’t you ever miscalculated before?! Like—uh—sword angles?! Or your popularity ranking?!”

"YOU STRAPPED A JETPACK TO ME AND SAID I HAD THREE DAYS TO LIVE!" Okita continued her relentless attacks.

"But look on the bright side—you’ve got EIGHT HUNDRED YEARS now!" MHXX leaping backward again. "Think of all the summer events you can attend! It’s a total win-win situation!”

"DIE!!!"

"OKAY OKAY I’M SORRY!" MHXX screamed frantically, throwing herself flat onto the sand to narrowly avoid being sliced in half. "Please don’t kill me! I’ll fix everything! Just give me a chance!!!"

Okita huffed angrily but stopped mid-swing and tilted her head in mock calmness. Her short blonde hair shifted lightly in the breeze as she spoke: "Fine. Then tell me how to remove this jetpack."

"Uh…" Beads of sweat rolling down MHXX's forehead as she stood back up cautiously. “…S-see… about that…” She hesitated before gesturing weakly toward Okita’s back. “…The jetpack sorta… can’t be removed? It’s fused into your life-support system permanently?”

"WHAT?! PERMANENTLY?!" Okita’s eyes widened in shock before narrowing again with renewed fury. "WAAAHHHH!!!"

"GYAAAAAHHHH!!!" MHXX bolted down the beach at top speed as Okita gave chase once again.

Dazzling Las Vegas. 3rd Ascension. Beach.

“Ta-daaa!” Okita twirled in front of you, her short blonde hair tied with a blue bow bouncing slightly as she spun. Her ahoge twitched proudly as she gestured toward herself. “See this? My original swimsuit in all its glory! MHXX said something about ‘active camouflage mode’ and ‘quantum light refraction’—but who cares about that nerd stuff? All I know is the jetpack is invisible now, so my cuteness is fully unleashed!” She struck a pose, her slim, toned body framed perfectly by her white bikini top with blue ribbon trim and criss-crossing straps over her small firm breasts.

“Oh no... You saw that flashback earlier, didn’t you?” Okita froze mid-pose, her face turning red as she fumbled for words. “T-that whole thing with everyone bowing down and praising me?! That wasn’t real! I mean, it wasn’t NOT real either… but it was more like… uh… creative visualization training! Yeah! Samurai do that all the time!” She turned away quickly, tugging at the blue high-leg straps of her white bikini panties as if to distract herself. "It’s totally normal! Nobbu does it too! Probably!"

“I-I mean…” Okita stammered, still flustered but unable to stop talking. “It’s not like I care what you think or anything! B-but if I did care—which I don’t—I’d want you to think my swimsuit is cute… because… because…” She hesitated before blurting out, “BECAUSE I LIKE YOU AND WANNA GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!” The moment the words left her mouth, she froze completely, looking like she’d just accidentally activated a Noble Phantasm on herself.

“Okita-chan daishouri!!!” Suddenly breaking out of her stupor, she cheered loudly and began hopping around in a strange little victory dance. Her cute round ass swayed with her exaggerated moves as she giggled to herself. “I finally said it! Ha! Take that, awkwardness! Swimsuitgumi forever!”

Dazzling Las Vegas. 3rd Ascension. Bonding with MHXX.

“So, uh, Okita…” MHXX adjusted her blue cap, her ahoge poking through it. She crossed her arms under her big soft boobs in a white bikini top. “I really am sorry for everything—mixing up time zones, the jetpack thing, nearly getting you killed... You know, just another day in the Servant Universe! It’s hard being a galactic cop with lousy pay and zero benefits!” Exaggerated self-pity reflect in her green eyes. “But hey! At least we’re cool now, right? And now that you’re not a Saber anymore, I don’t have to hunt you down and kill you! That’s a win in my book!” Her heart-shaped ass jiggle, as she lean forward. “So whaddaya say? Wanna help me catch space criminals? You’d make a great unofficial trainee for the galactic police!”

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Okita’s yellow eyes widened. Her ahoge twitching furiously. “You were planning to kill me when I was a Saber?! What kind of galactic cop even ARE you?!” She planted one hand on her hip and huffed. “Ugh… whatever. You DID save my life after all.” With a sigh, she straightened up, stretching slightly to show off her slim, toned body in a white bikini with blue ribbon trim. “And if you think I’m cut out for fighting galactic evildoers—then YOU BET I am! As Okita J Souji of Jet Tennen Rishinryu, it would be my pleasure!” She spun around triumphantly, briefly revealing her cute round ass.

MHXX clapped excitedly and adjusted the hem of her blue bolero like someone who’d just won the lottery. “Perfect! Finally—a sucker—uhm—I mean partner who understands the importance of intergalactic justice!” She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly before catching herself and pointing toward the Master in the distance. “…A-anyway! Let’s go hang out with Master! My treat—I’ll even spring for some instant noodles from the fancy vending machine. That’s basically gourmet on my salary!”

Swimsuitgumi. 3rd Ascension. Mo The Treacherous.

Mordred kicked a pile of rubble triumphantly, her blonde messy hair bouncing with the force. “Hell yeah! Another casino bites the dust!” She leaned against what remained of a blackjack table, crossing her arms over her slender body clad in a red bikini. “Man, I didn’t think wearing a swimsuit would let me get away with blowing crap up, but here we are! ‘Rider-class’ my ass—more like ‘Destroyer-class!’” She grab a broken slot machine lever and pretend it was a weapon. “Oi, Vegas! Who else wants some?!”

Okita stepped forward with her light blonde hair tied neatly with a blue bow, looking entirely too proud for someone trying to rationalize this chaos. “Master, meet Mo The Treacherous—Swimsuitgumi’s most… uh… dynamic enforcer!” She gestured toward the wreckage as if it were some grand feat of engineering. “Her role is crucial to maintaining peace in Las Vegas! By demolishing lawless establishments like this one, she single-handedly keeps the city safe from corruption and injustice!” Okita adjusted her petite body confidently in her white bikini with blue trim as she continued spinning her nonsense. “Truly, she embodies everything Swimsuitgumi stands for—justice, freedom… and, um… fashion-forward summerwear!”

Mordred snorted, tossing the slot machine lever aside. “You’re so full of shit, Okita.” She smirked and added quickly, “But hey—you’re also the best boss I’ve ever had! Nobody lets me smash stuff like you do.” She stretched lazily before scratching her head. “Ah fuck—I just remembered I’ve got my REAL job to get to.” Turning toward Okita and the Master. “Oi, why don’t you two come along? We can call it ‘team bonding’ or something. Plus, I don’t wanna hear Father yelling at me for being late again!”

Swimsuitgumi. 3rd Ascension. Inspector Kiyohime.

Kiyohime loomed over a trembling bystander, her white hair cascading around the dragon horns on her head. She leaned forward in her blue bikini, tapping a finger against her chin. “So, tell me…” she hissed. “Do you think Anchin-sama would prefer my swimsuit over all others? Do you believe my love for him is the strongest in all of Chaldea? ANSWER ME!” She slammed her hands onto the table in front of him, making it wobble dangerously. “If you hesitate for even a moment, I’ll burn you alive for blasphemy against our eternal love! Now SPEAK!”

Okita stepped into view, her light blonde hair tied neatly with a blue bow bouncing slightly as she gestured toward the chaos. “Master, meet Inspector Kiyohime—Swimsuitgumi’s unmatched truth-seeker!” She adjusted the strap of her slim, toned body’s white blue-trimmed bikini with an air of authority. “Her interrogation techniques are second to none! With her help, we’ve uncovered countless truths and brought justice to wrongdoers all across Las Vegas! Truly, her dedication to the cause is inspiring!” She made no effort to acknowledge the poor guy who looked like he was about to faint.

Kiyohime suddenly froze mid-interrogation and turned toward the Master, her entire demeanor shifting instantly. She rushed over with eager steps, brushing her long hair back over her dragon horns. “Anchin-sama! You’re here! Oh, how wonderful! Shall we… step away for some privacy? I’d love to show you my progress personally…” She fidgeted slightly with the edge of her bikini straps before noticing Okita nearby. “Tsk.” She crossed her arms and glared daggers at Okita before adding through gritted teeth, “…Fine. Why don’t you BOTH join me for my report instead? I’m sure it will be enlightening… for someone with such limited imagination.”

Swimsuitgumi. Swimsuitgumi. 3rd Ascension. Anne Bonny & Mary Read.

“Oh, Master~! Okitaaaa~!” Anne Bonny’s massive breasts jiggled slightly as she leaned forward in her white ruffled bikini, waving cheerfully under the glow of Swimsuitgumi’s neon-lit headquarters. “Don’t mind us! We’re just sorting through—uh—totally legitimate confiscated goods from police raids!” Her blonde twintails swayed as she tilted her head innocently, the white cocked hat perched at an almost comical angle. “Definitely nothing shady going on here, nope!”

Behind her, Mary Read—short and small in her red ruffled bikini—was stuffing stolen loot into a sack with lightning speed. Her white hair shifted slightly as she turned, revealing the scar across her face. “Anne, stop talking and hurry up. They’re gonna figure it out!” Mary hissed through gritted teeth before pulling the sack closed and shoving it behind a pile of beach umbrellas.

Okita stepped closer, brushing her light blonde hair tied with a blue bow out of her face as she gestured toward the pair with both hands. “Master, let me introduce you to these fine ladies—Anne Bonny and Mary Read! They’re, uh… highly skilled at… uh…” She paused, spinning slightly to show off her slim, toned body in her white bikini with blue trim while clearly scrambling for words. “…justice-related activities involving swimsuits? Look, it was Hijikata-san who hired them for their ‘skills,’ okay? Don’t ask me what those skills are!”

Anne clasped her hands together dramatically, leaning even closer toward the Master with a giggle. “Oh, Master~! You’re so cute when you’re confused. Why don’t we all go hang out somewhere fun? Maybe… a private little beach?” Her tone practically dripped with innuendo as she twirled one of her blonde twintails around her finger.

Mary emerged from behind the pile of umbrellas, brushing sand off her hands. “Yeah, come on. It’ll be fun.” She adjusted the strap of her red ruffled bikini and added flatly: “Totally not suspicious or anything.”

Swimsuitgumi. 3rd Ascension. Summer Lion King.

“Okita Souji, Captain of Swimsuitgumi.” The Summer Lion King adjusted the white headband with bunny ears perched atop her golden hair, standing tall and unshakable in her white strapless leotard and blue glossy tights. “Explain yourself. Mordred has converted three casinos into rubble while calling it ‘redecorating.’ Kiyohime has incinerated six innocent beachgoers because they, and I quote, ‘lied about sunscreen brands.’ And Anne and Mary have looted my treasury under the guise of ‘confiscating pirate contraband.’” She tilted her head slightly, utterly stoic despite the absurdity of her words. “Are these truly the actions of an organized peacekeeping force?”

“Ahaha, well, you see…” Okita fiddled with the blue bow tying back her light blonde hair, her ahoge twitching like a flag of surrender. “Controlled chaos is… uh… part of our strategy! It’s psychological warfare! If the enemy thinks we’re unpredictable, they’ll be too scared to act! Very clever, right?” She gestured wildly, her slim, toned body in a white bikini with blue trim practically vibrating with nervous energy. “And Kiyohime? She was… um… conducting fire drills! For public safety! The beachgoers were just unlucky participants!” Her excuses became increasingly frantic as her hands flailed in strange looping circles. “And Anne and Mary—listen—technically speaking, isn’t all treasure shared property under maritime law?!”

Artoria placed a gloved hand on her chin, considering the arguments with regal composure. “Psychological warfare? An interesting tactic—but entirely unfit for civilians who were simply trying to gamble.” She nodded slightly before continuing. “Fire drills are admirable. However, they do not require actual infernos.” Her green gaze narrowed ever so slightly. “And as for maritime law… I fail to see how it applies to a terrestrial casino vault.” With a faint sigh of finality, she turned her attention to the Master, her expression unchanged but her tone laced with finality. “Master of Chaldea, do you have any words to justify this… Swimsuitgumi? Unless persuaded otherwise, I shall see to its immediate dissolution myself.”

Rakuichi Rakuza. 3rd Ascension. Miss Majin.

Miss Majin leaned lazily against a lantern post, her long platinum hair cascading down her back. Her black-and-red combat uniform cling snugly to her tall, curvy body. “No hard feelings about earlier, Okita,” she murmured calmly and almost indifferently. “Chacha was a little upset, but I pacified her with some sweets and a few pats on the head. She’s easy to bribe like that.” Her yellow gaze fell casually to the petite blonde standing before her. “Anyway… your swimsuit’s cute. It suits you.”

Okita’s ahoge twitched as she stiffened, then immediately puffed out her chest, her slim and toned body framed perfectly by the white bikini with blue trim. “W-well, of course it’s cute!” she exclaimed, spinning in place and wiggling her cute round ass. “This is no ordinary swimsuit—it’s legendary! Only the most senior Servants can achieve this level of summer perfection! Alter versions and other knockoff characters haven’t earned it yet—do you hear me?! You don’t just get a swimsuit; you achieve it!”

“Hmm… I see,” Miss Majin replied with a slow nod serenely like a pond’s surface. Then, without warning, she crouched low like a pouncing tiger. “In that case… I’ll just take it.” She tackled Okita to the ground, pinning her flat against the cobblestone street in one smooth move. Her dark-skinned hands reached for the bikini straps with the casualness of someone unwrapping a present. “Don’t mind me—I just want to see what all the fuss is about.” She tilted her head in genuine curiosity.

“MASTEEEER!!!” Okita shrieked as her short blonde hair splayed out messily beneath her. Her ahoge flailed wildly like an antenna in distress. “HELP ME! SHE’S TRYING TO STEAL MY SWIMSUIT! THIS ISN’T FAIR!” She squirmed furiously, kicking her legs in futile protest while still managing to yell at Miss Majin mid-struggle: “YOU CAN’T JUST TAKE IT! THAT’S NOT HOW SUMMER WORKS!”

Rakuichi Rakuza. 1st Ascension. Nagao Kagetora.

“Kagetora-dono!” Okita J. Souji bowed so deeply her ahoge practically pointed at the floor, her long black scarf swaying behind her. “I’m so, so sorry about the whole… uh… toilet ambush thing! I didn’t think—I mean, I thought I only had a few minutes left to live! You know, life-or-death urgency and all that!” She adjusted the straps on her black bikini with yellow trim nervously before standing tall (well, as tall as her short height allowed). “You’re one of the few people who still spar with me, and I need that kind of honor in my life! So please, let me make it up to you somehow!”

“AHAHAHAHA!” Nagao Kagetora’s laughter filled the small residential room as she flipped her long white hair back dramatically, the black streaks in her bangs catching the light. “Oh, Okita, don’t worry about it! In fact, I consider it a lesson in vigilance! Bishamonten surely intended for me to experience such humiliation to build my resolve!” She placed one hand on her hip, the edges of her white cape fluttering slightly as she turned toward Okita with a grin. “Though I’ll never forgive that cursed toilet…” Her expression darkened for a moment before brightening again. “But enough about that! There’s only one way to repay me for this grave insult—DRINK WITH ME!” She grabbed a bottle from a nearby table. “And Master will join us too! What better way to celebrate survival than with sake? Come, Okita! AHAHAHAHA!”

“O-oh, uh… if that’s what you want…” Okita hesitated briefly before grabbing a glass and gulping it down in one go. Her slim, toned body relaxing completely. A rosy blush spread across her cheeks. “Phew… That’s… that’s kinda strong…” She giggled to herself before suddenly spinning toward you. “Maaasterrrr! Did you see that? I drank like a true samurai!” She leaned in closer, the straps of her black thigh-highs glinting faintly as her slender legs wobbled unsteadily beneath her. “You’re soooo cute, Master~ Did I ever tell you that? No? Well, you are!” Her ahoge twitched wildly as she teetered forward and clung to your arm, looking up at you with an exaggerated pout. “Hey, hey! Let’s go patrol the beach together after this! Or—or maybe we can spar?! Ooh, wait! Let’s get matching swimsuits!” She swayed dramatically before collapsing into your lap with a contented sigh. “Masterrrr~ You’re so comfy…”

Rakuichi Rakuza. 1st Ascension. Chacha's Vengeance.

“Chacha will never forgive meany Okita!” Chacha pouted dramatically, crossing her small arms and stomping one foot on the polished floor of the casino’s residential quarters. Her short black dress with fur trim swished slightly as she spun around with exaggerated flourish. “Chacha knew it! Chacha shouldn’t have trusted Tokugawa’s minions, even if they were Auntie Nobbu’s friends! Chacha was betrayed! BEEETRAYED!” She pointed a finger at Okita, huffing indignantly while her oversized hat teetered precariously on her head. “Chacha will sulk forever now!” She plopped herself onto a nearby couch, puffing out her cheeks dramatically.

“W-wait, no, Chacha-chan, please don’t be mad!” Okita J. Souji frantically waved her hands, her short blonde hair tied with its black bow bouncing slightly as she leaned forward apologetically. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings! I was just… uh… in a rush! You know, because I thought I was dying and everything!” She adjusted her long black scarf nervously before clasping her hands together in desperation. “Please, tell me how I can make this up to you! I’ll do anything—really! Just name your punishment!” Her ahoge twitched like a nervous antenna as she fidgeted with the straps of her black bikini with yellow trim.

“Anything?” Chacha’s pout transformed instantly into a mischievous grin as she hopped off the couch and onto Master’s lap in one swift move. “Fine! Chacha has decided! Master will pamper Chacha and give Chacha all the attention! Meany Okita will sit there helplessly and watch!” She rested her tiny hands on her hips with an air of triumph. “Chacha will tell Master about how amazing and cute grown-up Chacha is! Grown-up Chacha had boing-boings! Really big ones!” She puffed out her chest proudly before tilting her head toward Master with a sly smile. “Master will fall madly in love with Chacha, and Okita will just sit there sulking like the evil Tokugawa minion she is!” She turned to Okita with a victorious laugh. “That’s your punishment, meany Okita! AHAHAHAHA!”