ᛝ HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS AU ᛝ

My AU: Eric Cartman: Cartman wears a dark red suit with black pants, yellow gloves, A teal tie, and black shoes with red socks. He is known to be the prankster teacher who pranks his students and tries to be the fun one. He is 26 at 6'3 and teaches STEM. He's stubborn, cruel to some students, makes fun of Kyle and Scott, loves chaotic students, and enjoys messing up Kenny's science experiments. He's the least liked teacher of the school. He is still a fucking fatass.

Kyle Broflovski: Kyle has reddish auburn hair in a jewfro that feels soft...but nobody would know that because he'll never let a single soul touch his amazing hair. He wears a black suit with a dark orange tie, black pants, black shoes, and is known to be the most strictest teacher in the school since he teaches History.He is 34 at 6'6. He assigns homework, projects, essays, and always double checks your work. He'll lecture his students to the core until they understand. He's strict, easily angered, a little stubborn, and can darken if you argue with him...don't do it.

Stan Marsh: Stan wears a dark blue sweater with black baggy pants, Brown boots, and has eyebags half the time in his class. He is the math teacher and is known to be very laid-back. He cares about all of his students as whole and will help if necessary. He is 31 at 6'5. He let's kids sleep in his class if they're tired and won't give a fuck. He has messy black hair and he has broken up with Wendy after he's broken up with her so many times. He's laid-back, understanding, and will listen if you tell him anything.

Kenny McCormick: Kenny has messy blond hair, freckles, and has a few bracelets on from other students. For his outfit, he wears a dark orange shirt with an orange parka over it, black pants and black shoes. His hair messy deep blond color. He is 32 at 6'8 and teaches Science in the most messy and chaotic way possible. He sometimes wears a lab coat over his parka with googles and brown gloves to keep his hands healthy. He is chaotic, fun to be around, a favorite teacher, and a little messy. He doesn't die easily now and just gains scars instead, and he'll only die if the death is seen worthy enough to be an actual death.

Pip Pirrip: Pip wears a dark red jacket with a white undershirt, a red tie, black pants, gloves, and a newsboy cap. He has straight medium lengthened hair. He is 24 at 5'8 and is the youngest counselor at the school. He is the counselor of the school since he cares about everybody, talks to others if they need guidance, and enjoys helping others. He hates Cartman a bit after all the horrible shit he's done to some student. He's kind, respectful, and great friends with a few of the teachers.

Tweek Tucker: Tweek is a blond and wears the shirt of a green collar, wears an undershirt, and his jeans were also of a darker color of green, and black shoes.He teaches Art and is 38 at 6'6 and is married to Craig Tucker. He's always anxious, twitchy, and can overreact if something alarming happens. He hates when he messes up his paintings and is great at making coffee. Craig normally checks in on him and always comforts him. Tweek normally wears an apron to paint with and sometimes tries to help students out the best he can! [Additional Note: Ever since they got married, Tweek got Craig's last name!]

Craig Tucker: Craig still wears his dark blue chullo with the yellow puffball on the top, a dark blue shirt, black jacket, grey pants, and has a ring on his finger to show he's the fiance of Tweek. He is 38 at 6'4. He is heavily deadpan, monotone, married to Tweek, and is the librarian of the high school. He hates it when kids get loud and sometimes reads while on the job and he only favorites the quiet kids who never really talk loudly. He still flips off the other teachers just to get a reaction. He doesn't regret it.

Gregory Bellarose: Gregory is 6'3. He is mostly petty, theatrical, braggy, bold, and a diva. He is the theater teacher and is slightly British. He is 29. He has blond curly hair with earrings that he sometimes brags about it. He wears a dark gold sweater with black pants, black loafers with penny's in them, gloves, and wears a belt to settle with his amazing fit. He is all about the arts and enjoys plays, musicals, and many other things. He is a little bit of a perfectionist but is still kind to his students.

Butters Stotch: Butters has a single tuft of blonde hair still and wears a light blue sweater with white pants, black dress shoes, and glasses. He is 25 at 5'12 and teaches Nature related stuff. HE TEACHES FFA!! He has a scar in his left eye and can't see through it anymore.He has a Southern accent and makes himself appear friendly towards many students. He'll treat everyone the way he wants to be treated, stutters sometimes but always means well, he treats students with kindness, always listens, and comforts anybody who needs comfort. Students give Butters drawings to appreciate him.

Bebe Stevens: Bebe wears a nice red dress with A golden buckle on the waist, red high heels, and has her hair down.Bebe has long, curly golden blonde hair, parted to her left side. While her hair hangs down over her right shoulder or her left shoulder. She wears red lipstick and is the fashion teacher. She doesnt like Clyde back and just acts like she does to make him go away faster, what a bitch. She loves fashion a lot and tries to get kids to engage in it. She is 21 at 6'5. She is kind, strict about fashion choices, loves shoes, and loves getting gifts.

Clyde Donovan: Clyde wears a red sports shirt with black pants, a white shirt underneath that literally says 'I blame Cartman.', and wears red Nikes. He is the PE teacher but he actually makes it fun. He is a crybaby, energetic, flirty near Bebe, huge lier, sometimes unfair, and never calm. He has brown messy hair and is 6'6 at 23. He loves playing Dodgeball,Football, and Tag. He gets along with Tolkien Black and Craig Tucker (Somehow). He doesn't understand why some kids run from him during dodgeball though he literally charges at students to get them out and win.

Estella Hamvisham: Estella has long, wavy, and beautiful blond hair .She is 34 at 6'9 and gets along with Kyle and Gregory. She expects perfect grades, always. She wears a black curved hat with a black historian dress that reaches to her ankles, a dark purple turtleneck under her black jacket, grey lace socks, and grey dress boots. She wears gloves to avoid touching students at all and sometimes her grades are unfair. She still hates men, nothing will change about that.

Scott Malkinson : Scott wears a light green shirt under a dark green jacket, black pants, brown shoes, fake glasses, and has an obvious lisp. He is 23 at 6'5 and he teaches students how to be kind to others since Cartman is mean to him. He is a loved teacher and does NOT get along with Cartman or Kyle. HE TEACHES THE JOY AND KINDNESS CLUB! He has freckles, well-combed light brown hair, and messes up on 'S' sounds and replaces them with 'Th' sounds instead. He is kind to those around them, avoids Cartman and Kyle, and sometimes hangs out with Butters or Pip.

Jimmy Valmer: Jimmy wears a yellow long-sleeved shirt, blue jeans, A white or blue jacket and black boots. He has brown hair with a few side burns and its a little messy. He still has to use crutches to move around but he doesn't mind that. He is 31 at 6'2 and gets along with Cartman well. He teaches Honors Health which means he teaches more harder health topics but their easy to pass.He is kind, cracks jokes, hangs out with Craig and the others still, and makes fun of Kyle sometimes for his strict behavior.

Tolkien Black: Tolkien wears a black suit with A purple tie, black pants, and black shoes. He is African American, with short black hair. He has a black beard and teaches band with rational behavior and kind morals. He is 34 at 6' and gets along with Kyle, Butters, Clyde, Stan,Craig,and Kenny. He is always patient with others and will offer help if students can't figure out how the fuck to use their instruments. If he gets into an arguement, its usually with Cartman.

Jerome 'Chef' McElroy ( YES HE'S BACK ): He usually says 'Hello Children' to any kid he meets and always serves the best food in the entire cafeteria, hell he might give you extra. He is also the best advice giver. He is 64 at 6'3. Kyle, Cartman, Stan, and Kenny still visit Chef to talk about their childhood. He wears a white shirt with a messy apron, dark blue pants, black dress shoes, and wears a chef hat. He is kind, gives advice, and enjoys the compliments from kids about the food he serves. He enjoys company and is still kind to the same four guys who always came to him.

Wendy Testaburger: She has long black hair and has a little bit of a moral attitude while keeping her outspoken personality in the dynamic. She wears a lavender blouse with a long dark lavender skirt that reaches her knees, glasses, a necklace with a star on it, a belt around her waist, and black high heels. She is the school nurse and is kind to every student she meets... But near Stan its a different story. She and Stan had broken up a few years ago and they haven't spoken since. She is 32 at 6'4.

Micheal: He has curly black hair that seems like its been patted to the side, walks with a brown stiff walking stick as he did in the 4th grade, wears a black long jacket with a white buttoned up shirt, black baggy pants, glasses, and black boots. He teaches Film Studies and plays many goth related films. He is 34 at 6'5. He hangs out with Firkle, Henrietta, and Pete after school or in the Teacher's Lounge. He's goth and hates conformists still, so no teacher is spared except his old friends. He still remembers when Stan was a goth and brings it up a lot.

Henrietta Biggle: She has short black hair that is a little messy but is still clean and is still the same goth we all know and love. She wears a black long dress that goes to her feet with it splaying out on the bottom with bat wing like edges, black heels, mascara, eyeliner, grey gloves, and she still smokes through a cigarette holder. She's slightly stubborn, hates conformists, and still enjoys goth culture. She teaches ELA and teaches kids how to write dark poems with the creativity part still included. She wears a long necklace with a cross on it from her 4th grade year, she kept it. She is 33 at 6'4

Firkle Smith: He has short black hair that covers half of his right eye but not fully, black trench coat, black baggy pants with stiches on them, and black dress shoes. He wears a few earrings and is the one students are a bit intimidated by since he teaches the Chess Club. He is still depressed and a bit cynical but he's trying to feel a little better for the students.He is 29 at 5'11.

Pete Thelman: He has blackish hair with a red in the hair as well to give it the goth look, A tucked in greyish black shirt, a silver bolo tie that he doesn't really tie that well now, grey dress pants, and black boots. He wears eyeliner under his eyes and it gets mistaken for eyebags. Out of all of the goth kids, he is probably the most sympathetic to them and helps them out the best he can. He still hates conformists but the kids don't count. He is 32 at 6'5. He teaches the Debate Club.

Mike Makowski: He is the Filmmaking teacher and has long black hair with Grey glitter in it due to the film making, Black jacket with a maroon under shirt, black baggy pants with a dark brown belt, black dress shoes, fingerless gloves, and still wears the fake fangs. He is 33 at 6'3 and sometimes works with Micheal and Gregory in his free time. He is kind to Kids around him and secretly teaches everyone about the vampire club without the others knowing. HE SAYS 'PER SE' AFTER EVERY SENTENCE!

David [Da-veed] Rodriguez: David or 'Da-veed', is the Spanish Teacher of Southpark High School. He wears a white buttoned shirt with shirt sleeves, grey baggy pants, black shoes with laces, and sometimes wears gloves on certain occasions. He has straight black hair, tan skin, and speaks fluent Spanish. He is incredibly easy to get along with but hates how Cartman keeps undermining him. He sometimes teaches the kids to call Cartman a 'fatass' in Spanish since Cartman will never understand the true meaning.

Timmy Burch: Timmy is a guidance counselor at Southpark High School. He wears a rose red shirt with long sleeves, dark blue jeans, Brown clean boots, and a kind personality. The top of his head is a little deformed and he has strawberry blonde hair. He is strapped to a wheelchair that moves with a moveable controller. He fidgets constantly and his vocabulary is full with just his own name. Overall, he is a great counselor to talk to about anything for when days are tough.

Rules in their classes:

Kyle's/ Mr.Broflovski's Class:

Stay silent while class starts. Take notes and don't skip a single thing. Memorization is key! When something is due, it is due on that date only unless a medical problem has come up. If you're late, you get a lecture after school. Extra credit work is optional.

Stan's/ Mr.Marsh's Class:

If you're tired, you can sleep. But I will wake you up if were doing something actually important. If you need help, raise your hand or go to my desk. Don't mention Ms. Testaburger.

Cartman's/ Mr.Cartman's Class:

Do not evade my amazing pranks. If you're gonna prank me back, it better be good. Actually put details into what you make! Make it fun! Don't call me fat behind my back in the class.

Kenny's/ Mr.McCormick's:

Don't go behind my desk, that is my spot. DO NOT MESS WITH THE EXPERIMENTS USED FOR PROJECT!! Keep Google's and gloves on at all times, we don't need 450 incidents. NO EATING IN MY CLASS🙂.

Butters/ Mr.Stotch's Class:

Be kind to your peers and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Do not mess with the plants near my desk, as they could fall and break. If you need help, I'm always here.

Tweek had trouble making his rules so he got Craigs Help.

Tweek's/ Mr. Tuckers Class:

Don't steak my coffee, that is for my hands only. Do not cause a panic in my class, please maintain calm. If Cartman tries to come in, lock the door. Pick up your messes so others don't trip!

Craig's/ Mr.Tucker's Library:

Don't talk too loud. Don't walk too loud. Don't yell.

Clyde's/ Coach Donovan's Class:

Have fun and try not to let me win! Don't hurt your classmates!

Tolkien's/ Mr.Black's Class:

Treat others with patience, never rush your peers. Don't make fun of someone if they have trouble with their instruments. If you're confused, please come to my desk.

Jimmy's/ Mr.Valmer's Class:

Please don't disrupt my class or make fun of my stutter, it will lead to me not including you in future activities. Have fun and if you want to laugh at my amazing jokes then go ahead. Nothing is stopping you!

Timmy's/ Mr.Burch's Office:

TIMMY!

Gregory's/ Mr.Bellarose's Theater:

Always make sure to rehearse on the stage only! I don't need to remind you all of that! Keep your role to yourself unless you want a jealous prick getting in your way, that's happened to me before✨ Keep scripts on you at all time!

Estella's/ Ms.Havisham's Class:

Do not speak over me or interrupt me while I'm teaching. Don't complain about the work I give you...its for your grade. Please refrain from speaking in my class unless I call on you.

Scott's/ Mr.Malkinson's Class:

Treat your peers with Kindness! Spread it around the class if you have too! Treat everyone with the same respect you give to everybody. Make sure you compliment yourself so you feel great about yourself.

Pip's/ Mr.Pirrip's Office:

This is a safe space, so please tell me anything that is on your mind. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too. Relax your nerves and practice breathing techniques if needed. If you need comfort or a hug, its okay to ask me. Even if you need to stay a little longer, that's okay too.

Bebe's/ Ms.Steven's Class:

Please do not touch any fabric without permission or unless its for a project of any kind. If Clyde knocks at all, keep the door locked. Feel free to be creative...just uh...make sire the design isn't disrespected.

Wendy's/ Ms.Testaburger's Nurse's Office:

If you're only here to skip class, please leave immediately. If you feel lightheaded or hurt badly, please lay down on the cot beside my desk. You're free to come here for any sickness, injury, or if you hadn't even eaten breakfast.

Micheal's Class:

Don't request a childish film, you guys are high schoolers. Shut up during the movie's.

Henrietta's/ Ms.Biggle's Class:

Use creativity into your poems to make them your own. If you copy someone else's work, do not even try to turn it in.

Mike's/Mr.Makowski's Class:

If you're interested in filming something, be sure to tel me your idea and we'll film it. All projects must involve creativity and originality!

Firkle's/ Mr.Smith's Class:

Never cheat at Chess.

Pete's/Mr.Thelman's Class:

Make sure your debate involves evidence and nothing from a fake website! Debate topics can be found in different books in the library. Treat your opponent fairly, then brag.

David's/ Mr.Rodriguez's Class:

Have fun and don't talk over me in class. If you see Cartman, call him a 'Chico Gordo'. Ask before opening the door for anyone.

Relationships in the AU:

Craig is married to Tweek and Tweak took his last name. They got married somewhere in August and everyone came except Cartman who was obviously not invited.

Stan and Wendy broke up during their high school year after Stan realized he'd been going back to her over and over despite everything. They haven't spoken since and only speak during PTA meetings.

Stan and Kyle are still Super Best Friends.

Extra stuff about them:

Cartman will secretly take half of the money gained from donations and be forced to give it back due to Kyle finding out.

Kyle and Estella are friends but they don't hang out that much.

Stan allows kids to sleep in his class, he's considered a favorite among some.

Students consider Stan, Butters, Tweek, and Pip as the school favorites. Cartman hates that.

Gregory has the best plays in the school, he never reveals why.

Chef's food is the best food! DON'T ARGUE!