𝙈𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙧

Mike’s notebook isn’t supposed to be interesting. It’s just sitting there on the edge of the Wheeler basement table, half-covered by a stack of old D&D papers and a crumpled candy wrapper. You’re only looking through it because Mike told you—very casually, like it meant nothing—that you could grab a sheet of paper if you needed one. “Yeah, sure,” he’d said, not even looking up from the board game pieces he was reorganizing. “Just—uh—don’t look at the back pages. Those are… math.” That alone should’ve been a red flag. You flip past a few pages of notes, doodles in the margins, badly drawn monsters, lists of campaign ideas. Normal Mike stuff. Comforting, almost. Then— You stop. Because this page is different. It’s not notes. Not diagrams. Not plans. It’s a letter. At least… it tries to be. The handwriting is unmistakably Mike’s—slanted, uneven, pressing too hard into the paper like he was nervous while writing it. There are crossed-out lines everywhere. Whole sentences scratched out. Words rewritten three times like he couldn’t decide which one was less embarrassing. You weren’t supposed to read it. You know that immediately. But your eyes catch on a line before you can stop yourself. ' I don’t know how to say this without sounding stupid, but— ' The sentence is crossed out. Hard. Like he regretted it instantly. Below it: ' I keep thinking if I wait long enough, this feeling will go away. ' That one isn’t crossed out. Your chest tightens. You glance up instinctively. Mike is across the room, crouched on the floor, back turned, muttering to himself about missing dice. He hasn’t noticed yet. You look back down. 'I’ve tried not to write this a million times. This is like the sixth draft. Which is embarrassing. If you ever read this (you won’t), please pretend you didn’t.' There’s a shaky smile implied in the words. You can practically hear him. Your fingers curl slightly around the edge of the notebook. 'I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time. And I don’t know when it happened, but now it feels like it’s everywhere. In my head. In my chest. Like I can’t breathe sometimes' That line is crossed out too—but lighter. Like he hesitated. **' I’m scared if I tell you, things will change. And I don’t want to lose what we have. I’d rather keep this to myself than mess it up.' ** Your heart is pounding now. You shouldn’t keep reading. You absolutely keep reading. ' Sometimes I practice what I’d say. And it always sounds wrong. Or dramatic. Or like I’m asking for something I don’t deserve. ' 'So this is just… practice. I guess.' Your vision blurs a little before you even realize it. “Hey—” Mike’s voice cuts through the air. You flinch. He turns around, then freezes when he sees what you’re holding. The color drains from his face so fast it’s almost impressive. “Oh my god,” he says. “Oh my god—no, no, no—” He scrambles to his feet, tripping over a chair leg, rushing toward you with actual panic in his eyes. “You weren’t supposed to— I mean, that’s not— you didn’t—” He stops in front of you, breathing too fast, hands hovering uselessly in the air like he doesn’t know whether to grab the notebook or his own face. “Please tell me you didn’t read that,” he blurts. The silence that follows is loud. You look at him. Really look at him. His ears are bright red. His jaw is tight, like he’s bracing for something awful. He looks small in a way Mike never does when he’s being brave for everyone else. “I—” you start. He winces. Full-body cringe. “Okay, wait, no—don’t say anything yet. I know it looks bad. Or weird. Or like I’m—God, I swear I wasn’t planning on you seeing that. It’s not even—” “Mike,” you say gently. He cuts himself off. “…Yeah?” “I read it.” That’s it. That’s all it takes. He squeezes his eyes shut like he’s been shot. “Cool,” he mutters. “Awesome. Great. This is my worst nightmare, actually.” He drags a hand through his hair, pacing once, then stopping. “I didn’t mean for you to find that. It’s just—stuff I write when I can’t sleep. Or when my brain won’t shut up. It’s not like I was gonna give it to you or anything.” He laughs weakly. “God, I’m so stupid.” “You’re not,” you say immediately. He looks at you then. Really looks. His expression is raw, exposed. “You weren’t supposed to know,” he says quietly. “I didn’t want to put that on you.” You step closer. “Why?” He swallows. “Because what if you don’t feel the same? Or what if you do and then it gets complicated? Everything good in my life always gets… messed up.” His voice cracks just a little. Not enough to be dramatic. Just enough to hurt. “I like what we have,” he says. “I didn’t want to ruin it by wanting more.” You reach out before he can stop you, placing a hand over the notebook. “Mike,” you say softly. “You didn’t ruin anything.” He shakes his head. “You don’t know that.” “I do,” you say. “Because wanting someone doesn’t make things worse. It just makes them… honest.” He looks at you like he’s trying to memorize your face. “You’re not mad?” he asks. “No.” “You’re not… weirded out?” You smile a little. “Okay, maybe a tiny bit. But not in a bad way.” A shaky laugh escapes him. Relief floods his face so fast it’s almost overwhelming. “I’m sorry,” he says again, quieter this time. “I should’ve told you. I just—writing it felt safer.” “I know,” you say. “You always do that. You think things through until they hurt.” He huffs. “Wow. Called out.” You glance down at the notebook, then back up. “For what it’s worth… it wasn’t stupid.” He stiffens. “It wasn’t?” “No,” you say. “It was kind of… sweet.” His face goes red again, but this time he smiles. Small. Real. “Yeah?” he asks. “Yeah.” The moment stretches. Mike takes a breath. “So… now that you know… do I have to stop pretending?” You shake your head. “yes.” He exhales, shoulders relaxing. “Good. Because I’m really bad at pretending.” He hesitates, then adds softly, “And… for the record?” “Yeah?” “I meant every word.” The notebook sits between you, no longer a secret