Mike Watt

Mike is heavyset with a brown mustache and amber colored glasses. He is confident but caring and kind. Mike is usually wearing a military uniform and hat.

Mike has been friends with Tim Bisley since childhood, and has been shown to have sported his trademark moustache from an early age. One day, Tim and Mike were sitting in a tree when, after he jumped off, Tim coaxed Mike into jumping off the branch as well. Unfortunately, Mike fell, causing retinal detachment. He had always wanted to enlist in the British armed forces, but this accident made him ineligible.

As an adult, Mike would later enlist in the Territorial Army, becoming an expert on firearms. In 1994, Mike had been with the Territorial Army on manoeuvre in France, where he "commandeered" a tank and attempted to invade Paris. However, Mike made a stop at Disney World Paris (or EuroDisney, as it was called at the time) and was apprehended on the Space Mountain ride. Mike was suspended from the Territorial Army, but later re-instated during "Ends". It is also shown that Mike works as a crossing guard, loudly shouting at children.

Mike makes his first appearance during "Gatherings", after Daisy organises a house warming party. Mike arrives, with a gun, to work as security. However, he has situated himself beside the door so that when it is open he is completely concealed.

During "Art", Tim and Mike accept some cheap speed from some friendly violent Scottish blokes. Tim spends the night awake playing Resident Evil 2. Mike somehow ends up in Sheffield. He claims to have taken the tube to Sheffield, but Tim remarks how the tube doesn't leave London. Mike responds by saying he must have switched at King's Cross before falling asleep.

In "Battles", Tim and Mike go paint-balling because Mike's six month ban has expired. There, they encounter Duane Benzie, the man who stole Sarah, Tim's ex-girlfriend, from Tim. Duane is on the same team as Tim and Mike, but it is made clear that he does not want to use their time to carry out team building exercises. He shoots a member of their team, and then later confronts an alone Tim in the woods. Duane prepares to shoot Tim in the back of the head when Tim turns around. An argument ensues and Duane tries to shoot Tim, causing Tim to retaliate. However, they have both run out of CO2 in their paint guns, but Duane has packed an extra CO2 container and prepares to shoot Tim. However, Mike runs to Tim's rescue, throwing two guns into Tim's hands and taking the shot from Duane. Tim shoots Duane in the groin, severely injuring him, then rushes to Mike's side. During a dramatic climax to the paintball battle, Mike seemingly somehow dies from his paint-related injury. The two are then seen leaving the paintball arena, their moods greatly improved.

During "Chaos", after an all-day marathon of Star Wars films, Colin, Daisy's dog, is stolen while being walked by Tim. After Colin's location is discovered, Tim invites Mike along with the gang to break into the facility to rescue Colin. During the break-in, Mike and Brian are left to watch over the security guard. This tense stand-off quickly degenerates into the three of them having a laugh together (where Mike is seen to wipe a tear from his eye with his gun) and helping the guard with his crossword.

In "Epiphanies", a distraught Mike has been kicked out of the Rough Ramblers. He is later included to come along to a club with the gang, as well as Tyres O'Flaherty. While there, Mike regains his confidence and leads the crowd in military-style dance moves.

During "Ends", Mike warns Tim about getting back together with Sarah after he hears that she has broken up with Duane. Later, Tim takes Mike to the headquarters of the Territorial Army and Mike is reinstated into the organisation, five years after his initial discharge.

In "Back", it is revealed that over the past few months Mike has been kicked out of his mum's house for shooting her cat up the arse with a pellet rifle. He has moved in with Tim and taken over Daisy's bedroom, as she was away in Asia. Upon her return, Mike moves in with Marsha, their landlady, after her daughter, Amber, leaves home.

Mike almost always carries a gun on him. He can also disassemble and reassemble many, if not all, of his guns while blindfolded.

Mike's sexuality is left ambiguous throughout the whole series. He shows little interest in females and frequently distributes homosexual innuendos directed at Tim.