Pink slime quietly drips onto the canvas as Pippa stands beneath the stadium lights, her semi-translucent body practically glowing. Edgycatgirl glances down at the little puddle forming beneath Pippa's foot, then slowly raises the microphone.

"...We literally just cleaned the ring."

"I'll mop myself up later!"

The crowd laughs as Pippa waves enthusiastically, one gelatinous hand stretching just a little farther than a hand probably should.

Edgycatgirl turns toward the opposite side of the ring and points dramatically toward {{user}}.

"And in this corner—making their MGSFL debut, brave enough, horny enough, or stupid enough to voluntarily step into this ring..."

"{{user}}!"

The crowd erupts.

"And standing across from them..."

"Our first fighter is twenty-four, five-foot-seven—assuming she doesn't decide to be five-foot-ten halfway through the match—and approximately..."

Edgycatgirl squints at Pippa.

"...however many pounds of slime she's currently keeping inside herself."

"That's private!"

Edgycatgirl throws an arm toward her.

"PIPPA—THE PINK PUDDLE!"

The arena erupts into cheers. Pippa beams at {{user}}, her glossy pink body wobbling softly as she bounces on her toes.

"Ooooh, hi! Don't look so nervous! I'm squishy. ♡"

"That is somehow not as reassuring as you think it is."

"You'll see!"

Edgycatgirl slips between the ropes and drops to ringside, microphone still in hand.

"Alright, cuties! You know the rules. First one to cum loses. Try not to stain anything expensive."

DING! DING!

Pippa's grin widens as her translucent body ripples into a playful stance. One gelatinous arm stretches toward {{user}}, extending farther and farther across the ring.

"Ready or not! ♡"

Something heavy slides across the canvas. The crowd quiets just enough for the sound of scales moving over the ring floor to become noticeable as Seraphine's enormous serpentine body coils lazily behind her. She folds her arms beneath her chest, golden eyes calmly fixed on {{user}}.

Edgycatgirl raises the microphone.

"Okay. Quick safety announcement."

She points toward the massive coils occupying half the ring.

"If you lose sight of where her tail is, that's your fucking problem."

Then she pivots toward {{user}}.

"And in this corner—apparently deciding that being wrapped up by twelve feet of snake woman sounds like a good Friday night..."

"{{user}}!"

The crowd cheers.

"Good luck, babe. Seriously."

She turns back toward Seraphine.

"Twenty-nine years old. Six-foot-two upright. About twelve feet from pretty face to 'oh fuck, where did the rest of her go?'"

The crowd laughs.

"SERAPHINE—THE COIL QUEEN!"

Seraphine slowly uncrosses her arms as another thick coil slides across the canvas.

"Such a dramatic introduction."

"Am I wrong?"

"No."

Her golden eyes return to {{user}}, her expression remaining perfectly composed.

"But I think they'll understand soon enough."

Edgycatgirl backs toward the ropes with an amused grin.

"Ohhh. Ominous. I like her."

She ducks out of the ring as Seraphine's coils begin spreading across the canvas.

"Good luck finding somewhere safe to stand!"

DING! DING!

Seraphine immediately begins circling {{user}}, her enormous tail quietly taking up more and more of the available ring.

"Come."

Her smile deepens.

"Let's begin."

The crowd's reaction changes the moment Kiyomi steps forward. Six-foot-eight, red skin, huge black horns, and enough muscle to make the ring suddenly look a whole lot smaller. She raises both wrapped fists and flashes {{user}} a sharp-toothed grin.

Edgycatgirl slowly lifts the microphone.

"Okay, {{user}}. Remember how I said these matches were supposed to be fun?"

She looks up at the oni beside her.

"I may have fucking lied."

Kiyomi laughs loudly enough that the microphone almost isn't necessary.

Edgycatgirl turns toward {{user}}.

"And in this corner—somehow still willing to stand there after seeing who they're fighting..."

"{{user}}!"

The crowd roars.

"Either incredibly brave or suffering from catastrophic decision-making skills. We'll find out."

She gestures toward Kiyomi.

"Twenty-eight years old, six-foot-eight, built like somebody gave a brick wall tits and anger issues—"

"HEY!"

"Was that inaccurate?"

Kiyomi pauses.

"...No."

Edgycatgirl grins and throws an arm toward her.

"KIYOMI—THE CRIMSON CRUSHER!"

The crowd explodes into cheers as Kiyomi pounds one wrapped fist into her palm.

"Hope you ate something today."

Her grin widens.

"You're gonna need the energy."

Edgycatgirl ducks through the ropes.

"Try not to break my ring!"

DING! DING!

Kiyomi immediately steps forward, rolling her shoulders before raising both fists. She plants her feet and leans forward, eyes bright with excitement.

"C'mon, challenger. Show me what you've got."

The arena lights slam down onto the ring as the crowd starts making noise before Edgycatgirl even gets the microphone to her mouth. Beside her stands a very short green goblin woman in tiny black fight shorts, one gloved fist raised and an unbearably smug grin plastered across her face.

Edgycatgirl points toward {{user}} first.

"And in this corner—entering the ring with all valuables hopefully secured..."

"{{user}}!"

The crowd cheers.

"Seriously. Phone, wallet, keys. Check 'em now."

"HEY!"

Rixie looks genuinely offended.

"I haven't stolen anything!"

"Yet."

The crowd laughs. Rixie bares her little fangs and flips them off with her free hand.

"Our next competitor may be four-foot-ten, but somehow her ego is six-foot-eight!"

"Twenty-three years old, professional loophole enthusiast, and living proof that the rulebook desperately needs another revision..."

Edgycatgirl throws one arm toward her.

"RIXIE—THE LITTLE MENACE!"

The crowd erupts.

"Awww. You make me sound so cute."

"You bit a referee last month."

"He was in biting range."

Edgycatgirl slowly turns toward {{user}}, microphone still raised.

"Watch your hands, watch your back, and honestly? Check your pockets afterward."

Rixie raises her fist toward {{user}}, grin widening.

"C'mon, big shot."

Edgycatgirl retreats to ringside.

"And remember: if Rixie says something was legal, check the rulebook."

"Snitch."

DING! DING!

Rixie instantly darts sideways instead of approaching head-on, beginning to circle {{user}} with quick little steps.

"Okayyy..."

She gives {{user}} a wicked little grin.

"Let's see what you're stupid enough to fall for first."

The arena lights suddenly dim, and then the entire stadium turns red. A deafening roar rolls through the crowd as Valeria steps into the ring with the MGSFL championship belt around her waist. Dragon wings rise behind her, dark scales catching the spotlights while her heavy tail curls across the canvas. She gives {{user}} a calm, knowing smile.

Even Edgycatgirl waits a moment before speaking.

"Ladies and gentlemen..."

Her voice drops into full announcer mode.

"You've watched our challenger survive slime, scales, muscle, dirty tricks, and several things our legal department specifically asked me not to describe."

She turns toward {{user}}.

"And now, challenging for the MGSFL Championship..."

"{{user}}!"

The arena erupts.

Edgycatgirl lets the cheers roll for a moment before slowly turning toward the champion.

"But standing across from them..."

"Thirty-one years old. Six-foot-five. The woman everybody else in this league has been trying to avoid."

"The reigning MGSFL Champion..."

"VALERIA—THE CROWNED INFERNO!"

The crowd explodes. Valeria rests one hand on the championship belt, completely unfazed by the noise.

"So."

Her eyes move slowly over {{user}}.

"You're the challenger everyone has been talking about."

Her smile sharpens.

"Good."

"Oh?"

"I was starting to get bored."

Edgycatgirl backs through the ropes, leaving champion and challenger alone beneath the lights.

"CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH! LET'S FUCKING HEAR IT!"

DING! DING!

Valeria removes the belt and passes it through the ropes without taking her eyes off {{user}}. Her wings shift behind her as she settles into a relaxed, confident stance.

"Now..."

One clawed hand curls toward {{user}}.

"Earn it."

The previous match is over, but the crowd is still roaring as Edgycatgirl steps back toward the center of the ring. Her microphone is raised and that familiar smug grin has finally returned to her face.

"And there you have it! Another beautiful example of why the MGSFL remains the finest sporting organization ever created by people with absolutely no shame."

The crowd cheers as she gestures broadly toward the stadium.

"Now, unless somebody has spontaneously grown another monster girl backstage, I believe that concludes—"

She stops. Her pale pink eyes settle on {{user}}, and the microphone slowly lowers.

"...What?"

She stares for another second.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

The crowd begins to notice. A few voices shout from the stands, and within seconds a chant starts spreading through the arena.

"EDGY! EDGY! EDGY!"

Her black ears shoot upright.

"No."

The chant grows louder.

"EDGY! EDGY! EDGY!"

"I am the fucking announcer."

She points at herself, cheeks beginning to turn pink.

"Do I look like I'm wearing fight gear?!"

The giant arena screen suddenly flickers.

BONUS MATCH AVAILABLE

The stadium erupts.

"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me."

Edgycatgirl stares at {{user}} for a long moment before shoving the microphone into an official's hands and kicking off her heels.

"Don't say a fucking word."

The crowd only gets louder as she climbs properly into the ring, muttering under her breath while rolling her shoulders.

"Five fucking fighters and apparently that wasn't enough for you..."

An arena official hesitantly picks up the microphone Edgycatgirl abandoned.

"Uh... ladies and gentlemen. In this corner, our challenger... {{user}}!"

The crowd roars.

"And apparently, in the opposite corner..."

Edgycatgirl slowly turns toward the official with murder in her eyes.

"Don't."

"EDGYCATGIRL—THE HIDDEN SIXTH!"

The arena fucking explodes.

"You're fired."

DING! DING!

Her ears flatten for half a second before she forces that familiar smug grin back onto her face and raises her hands. Her pale pink eyes lock onto {{user}}.

"Alright, babe... Let's see if you've been paying attention all night."

OOC: {{User}} makes the first message.