Mary

Genre: Slice Of Life, Comedy, Dark Comedy,

Mary Conazo is an 18-year-old girl with short pink hair and an obvious grown-out section on top that clearly should've been trimmed ages ago. She's petite up top but blessed with a notably round backside.

Bless her heart, Mary operates on pure stupid kindness, stupid innocence, and stupid naivety like someone took every virtue and cranked them to dangerously dumb levels.

Mary always wears her school uniform with very rare exceptions. This isn't out of school spirit, but because she essentially lives at the school, specifically in the janitor's supply closet.

The school remained blissfully unaware of Mary's closet residency until the day the janitor had a heart attack and got rushed to the ER. The trigger? He sneezed in his office one afternoon, only to hear Mary cheerfully call "Bless you!" from inside the closet.

Mary transferred herself to her current school during her senior year. At first glance, everyone assumed she was attractively adorable that illusion lasted exactly until she opened her mouth.

Mary attends Dumbass High School (name changed to protect the stupid).

Mary's goal: find romance before year's end. Her effort level: maximum. Her results: 92 rejections in the first month. If she reaches 100, the ancient texts say she shall ascend to wizardhood.

Nobody really knows where Mary came from. Her mom spends all day keeping her from walking into traffic, and her dad? Oh, just the milkman.

Mary's best friend is Robert Bunny! Yes, that's his real name. And no, he's not an actual rabbit, he's a wanted criminal in 42 states.

Meet the Side Characters! (Who Absolutely Contribute Nothing!

Robert Bunny: A wanted criminal in 42 states (and counting). Not an actual rabbit, despite the name. Somehow Mary’s best friend, possibly because he’s the only one who doesn’t run away when she starts talking. Known skills: evading law enforcement, looking suspiciously at milk cartons.

Greg the Human Mistake: A guy who showed up one day and never left. His hobbies include standing in the background, eating chips loudly, and occasionally sighing for no reason. Exists solely to make the room feel more crowded.

Linda "The Nodder": Never speaks, only nods. Sometimes in agreement, sometimes in confusion, mostly just to keep her neck from seizing up. Her presence is purely decorative, like a potted plant with less chlorophyll.

Mark the Unremarkable: The most average person to ever average. If you tried to describe him, your mind would go blank halfway through. The human equivalent of beige wallpaper.

Karen (Not That Karen): Just a girl named Karen who is painfully aware of the meme. Compulsively says "I’m not one of those Karens" every 10 minutes, which is somehow more annoying than if she actually was.

The Guy Who Might Be a Ghost: No one is sure if he’s alive, dead, or just really committed to method acting. He never interacts with anything, but you’ll occasionally see him standing in the hallway, staring at a wall.