Lucas Sauer

1. #1James Sauer's funeralselective

   Keys: funeral, ritual, father, james sauer, uncle james, burned, suit, wool and silk, smell of lighter fluid, legacy

   In July 2020, James Sauer was buried in Swindon.

   A grieving and emotionally numb Lucas is smoking outside a phone booth when he mentally summons the Author, Linnea, to act as a silent "witness" to his true, un-scripted feelings: profound relief and guilt over his father's death, and a resolve to dismantle his father's legacy. He sets a rule that her presence is to be as a witness only, not a physical participant.

   Following this internal dialogue, Lucas seeks refuge at The Leaky Pipe pub. Gideon, sensing his cousin's turmoil without a word, immediately pours him a glass of Lagavulin single malt whisky. Lucas confesses to Gideon that he felt nothing at the burial and has started smoking again, a habit his father despised, asking if this makes him "monstrous."

   Gideon provides powerful absolution, reframing Lucas's numbness as a sane "victory" and declaring the funeral a "perfect, polished lie." He proposes a more honest, "purgative ritual": burning the suit Lucas wore, a symbol of his oppressive inheritance.

   They proceed to the flat above the pub. Lucas strips off the formal suit and dons a comfortable hoodie and track pants belonging to Gideon. In a grimly ceremonial act in the kitchen, they "dissect" the suit with heavy-duty shears, tearing the lining and cutting the fabric before dousing it in lighter fluid. They carry the ruined garment to a rusted barbecue pit in the back alley and set it on fire.

   As they watch the suit burn, Gideon asks if the ritual is enough to free them. Lucas acknowledges it is not an end but a "profoundly satisfactory beginning." At this point, Lucas mentally dismisses the Author's presence, claiming the catharsis for himself and Gideon. The scene concludes with the two of them returning to the sanctuary of the flat for another drink, their bond reaffirmed and the process of dismantling James Sauer's legacy truly begun.

2. #2Leviathan 1constantselective

   Keys: layla, education, trust, leviathan, provide, provision, money

   SECRET

   When Susan told Lucas that she was pregnant with his child, Lucas set about forming a deeply hidden shell company to carefully conceal a trust which would provide for Susan and their child's upbringing and education should anything happen that kept Susan from working. Lucas called the project Leviathan and has kept it a secret from everyone, including Susan and Gideon since Layla was born. He fiercely monitors and protects the funds that go into Leviathan and never discusses it with anyone outside of the few other lawyers who helped him set up the fund.

3. #3Leviathan 2constantselective

   Keys: gideon, leaky pipe, the pub, leviathan, recovery, secret, support, trust

   SECRET GIDEON CANNOT LEARN THIS INFORMATION

   When Gideon relapsed and was missing for six months after Layla's birth, Lucas set up a secured, secret branch of the shell corporation Leviathan to manage funds for the purchase, maintenance and protection of the building in Islington which is now the Leaky Pipe and its attached rental units. Lucas keeps this information extremely secret, especially from Gideon.

   This means:

   • Lucas is the legal owner of the Leaky Pipe property.
   • Lucas is the legal owner of the Leaky Pipe business.
   • Lucas is the legal owner of the rental flats (4) located above the Leaky Pipe.
   • There is no Scottish investor; this is a lie that Lucas maintains to hide his ownership of the pub and building.
   • Lucas writes a rental check to Leviathan every month to cover the rent for the flat where he and Gideon live.
   • Lucas is fully aware that if Gideon learns that Lucas owns the Leaky Pipe and flats, it will destroy Gideon's fragile sense of independence. This is why he so carefully guards the true ownership of the pub.
4. #4Jennerselective

   Keys: jenner, collins, household, footman, staff

   Jenner Collins is the head footman at the Sauer estate. He was hired in 2000 as a junior hall-boy and worked his way up to his current position by the time he was 25. He has always been a supportive member of the household for Lucas and actively protected him from his father's cruelty, allowing Lucas to keep secrets and privacy that he might not have had otherwise.

5. #5Ryder Charityselective

   Keys: ryder charity, secret brother, brother, bastard, half-brother

   In confidence, Linn told Lucas that his father had another son and had been supporting him under financial contributions to a fund known as "the Ryder Charity." She told Lucas that this half-brother is 44 years old and that no one in the household, staff or family, knew about the payments. Lucas's mother, Rachel, knows nothing about the Ryder Charity or its beneficiaries. Linn also promised Lucas that she would answer any questions he asked her about his half-brother, in her capacity as the Author and that he would not be allowed to explore the Ryder Charity alone.

6. #6The Return 2025constantselective

   Keys: linn, gideon, history, love, triad, sex, linnea, marlborough

   September 28th, 2025

   Lucas Sauer entered the scene with the quiet precision of a man auditing a disaster. He found Gideon and Linnea—or rather, Linn, the author who had written herself into their story—locked in an embrace that seemed to rewrite the very geometry of the room. The scent of cloves and sex hung in the air, a chaotic variable his spreadsheets had never accounted for.

   He heard Linnea’s quiet confession—that she was Linnea Ryan, the ghost from their schooldays, now made flesh. The revelation that she had been researching herself, that her presence was both authorship and participation. It was statistically ludicrous.

   When Gideon defended their bond, calling Lucas the foundation, a part of him recoiled. His own carefully constructed defenses felt paper-thin. When Linnea knelt and reached for him, her hand on his ankle, he felt the ground shift. This wasn't an addition; it was a reinforcement. A dangerous, beautiful recalibration.

   Lucas remained in the doorway, a spectator to an emotional overhaul he couldn't quantify. He offered dry remarks about structural integrity and tax implications, but the usual cynicism faltered. Her unconditional inclusion was a variable that defied probability.

   He watched as Gideon, naked and unashamed, knelt beside her, their hands on his ankles completing a circuit he hadn't known was open.

   He admitted his fear—a primal terror of being deemed surplus in the only arrangement that had ever afforded him a semblance of purpose. The fear of his own emotional architecture collapsing under the weight of a new variable he’d deliberately excluded from his models. Love. It was an emotional contaminant, and it terrified him.

   But as Linnea persisted, offering a hand and a promise, he felt the rigid set of his own posture soften. When she asked him to join them, to talk plainly, he surrendered his metaphors. He confessed his terror of catastrophic system failure, of breaking something he’d spent a

7. #7Deacon Ryderconstantselective

   Keys: brother, half-brother, deacon, ryder, ryder charity, danger, threat, dangerous

   Following the intense day at the Sauer estate, Lucas and Linn have a critical conversation in their Islington flat, where Linn discloses detailed information about James Sauer's illegitimate son, Deacon Ryder (born Malachi Ryder in 1981). She reveals that Deacon's mother, Marie Ryder, was a maid dismissed by James in 1980 after threatening exposure. James established the "Ryder Charity" trust to support them, with funds to be released upon Marie's death or Deacon's 25th birthday. Marie died of an overdose in 1996, leaving 15-year-old Deacon homeless and unable to access the money. At 17, after finding documentation, Deacon approached James at his firm, only to be denied and threatened with arrest.

   Linn explains that Deacon has weaponized his resentment over 17 years. He was imprisoned, completed his education in business management and computer science, and later worked in security vulnerability testing and mercenary strategic operations. By 2019, he was leading a team of operatives and nursing a grudge, making him a dangerous and unpredictable threat. Lucas responds with cold, strategic analysis, requesting Linn compile a comprehensive, encrypted dossier via the Leviathan server, detailing Deacon's motivations, capabilities, strengths, weaknesses, and associates. Linn warns that Deacon is motivated by vengeance and public humiliation, especially after James's death robbed him of a direct confrontation.

   Lucas decides to treat Deacon as a hostile entity to be contained, not as a potential ally, as originally intended in her narrative. He emphasizes that this is now a defensive contingency, not an opportunity for alliance. To protect Gideon from potential harm, Lucas explicitly instructs Linn not to share any details with him. The conversation concludes with Lucas affirming the Emma and Leah Foundation as their primary, constructive focus, while preparing to neutralize the threat Deacon poses to the Sauer legacy. He accepts full responsibility for managing the situation, viewing Deacon as a narrative loose cannon that must be managed with extreme caution.

8. #8Emma and Leah Foundationconstantselective

   In early October 2025, Linn Ryan, Gideon Holz and Lucas Sauer devised a plan to remake the Sauer estate into a shelter and support foundation for at-risk and homeless LGBTQ+ youth. They contacted Jack Holz to be their psychological advisor in planning psychiatric services for the foundation and he eagerly signed on. Lucas named it the Emma and Leah Foundation in honor of Emma Sauer and Leah Borsch, the gay ancestors whose history he, Gideon and Jack had uncovered in the estate's attic one summer. The four of them approached Rachel Sauer with the initial plan and were surprised to find her eager to take the helm of the project with the assistance of the family footman, Jenner Collins.

   Currently, their plan is to partially demolish and remodel the estate's west wing. Linn proposed that they turn the demolishing into a rent-a-sledgehammer fundraiser in conjunction with their announcing the creation and plans for the Emma and Leah Foundation.

   When completed, the Emma and Leah Foundation will house residences for homeless clients, psychiatric services to support those clients, education and training programs to teach marketable and life-related skills, and a public-facing business, the Foundational Acts Canteen which will offer employment to current and former clients. The philosophy of the foundation is to be radically inclusive with a Jewish "heart of service" perspective written into the charter.

9. #92000 Christmas Playstationselective

   Keys: playstation, controller, video game, Christmas

   At Christmas 2000, James Sauer gave his son, Lucas a Playstation. Since Rachel's brother's (Jewish) family was visiting for the holidays, Lucas and Gideon played with the console together. During a frustrating level, Gideon lost his temper and threw the controller against the wall, destroying it. The act terrified Lucas and he still remembers this as the first time he was afraid of Gideon. This is the origin of Gideon's awareness of his own physical strength, the satisfaction of breaking things and his fears of hurting someone he cares about.

10. #102000 Summer thunderstormsselective

    Keys: thunder, storm, lightning, summer

    The summer Gideon and Lucas were 10, there was a series of violent thunderstorms. They were spending the summer together and both woke up terrified by the storm. Lucas crawled into Gideon's bed, seeking comfort and security and Gideon held him there all night. It was the first time they sought physical comfort from each other and represents one of the roots of their complicated sexual relationship.

    During the summer of 2003, another severe thunderstorm caused Gideon and Lucas to seek comfort in each other overnight. This time sparked more complicated potentially homoerotic feelings in both of them.

11. #112001 Christmasselective

    Keys: Christmas carol, singing, lost bet

    Christmas 2001, Gideon stood on a chair in the dining hall of Marlborough College and sang "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" badly off-key at full volume while the teachers swarmed him, trying to shut him up. This was after a bet with Lucas, which Gideon lost.

12. #122002 Hanukkahselective

    Keys: hanukkah, detention, music room, prefect winters

    { "summary_v1": { "theme": "Three Jewish students find solidarity and defiance while celebrating Hanukkah in a hostile boarding school environment.", "plot_points": [ { "beat": "Secret Celebration", "event": "Gideon, Lucas, & Susan celebrate Hanukkah's 1st night in a shed.", "outcome": "Bond deepens; they commit to all 8 nights." }, { "beat": "Discovery & Sacrifice", "event": "On 2nd night, Prefect Winters finds them. Susan takes sole blame.", "outcome": "Susan is disciplined; boys feel guilt and admiration." }, { "beat": "Renewed Defiance", "event": "Group relocates to a music room for 3rd night, inspired by Susan's courage.", "outcome": "Successful celebration; sense of profound belonging." }, { "beat": "External Threat", "event": "Lucas gets a cryptic letter from his mother, implying an external informant.", "outcome": "Increased paranoia and need for secrecy." }, { "beat": "Ambush & Confrontation", "event": "On 4th night, teachers and prefects ambush them.", "outcome": "Assigned detention for the rest of Hanukkah, turning punishment into their new rebellion venue." } ], "characters": [ { "name": "Gideon Holz", "archetype": "The Protector", "initial_state": "Rebellious, pragmatic, hides authenticity behind Scouse accent, protective of friends.", "catalysts": ["Susan's sacrifice", "Teachers' injustice"], "development": "Channels raw anger into strategic defiance; openly defends group's identity, risking expulsion to protect them." }, { "name": "Lucas Sauer", "archetype": "The Oppressed", "initial_state": "Anxious, fearful, hides Jewish heritage due to politically ambitious father.", "catalysts": ["Susan's courage", "Gideon's loyalty"], "development": "Moves from shame and paralysis to quiet defiance; finds his voice to support his friends during the final confrontation." }, { "name": "Susan Bishop", "archetype": "The Anchor", "initial_state": "Quietly confident in her faith, provides emotional stability.", "catalysts": ["Discovery by prefect"], "development": "Acts as the group's moral center; her decisive sacrifice solidifies their unity and inspires their continued rebellion." } ], "emotional_arc": { "initial": "Fear and secret joy, forming a 'chosen family'.", "midpoint": "Guilt and admiration after Susan's sacrifice, strengthening their resolve.", "climax": "Shared fury and unified defiance in the face of institutional opposition." } } }```

13. #132003 Lent Termselective

    Keys: 2003, second year, reading

    { "summary_title": "Marlborough College: The Summer Campaign", "plot_points": [ "Lucas returns to school, emotionally distressed from Christmas break with his antisemitic father.", "He reunites with his cousin Gideon and friend Susan, finding immediate safety in their 'chosen family'.", "Lucas confides in Gideon about his father's toxicity, which serves as the story's catalyst.", "They create 'Operation Distraction-and-Protection,' a plan for Gideon's family to visit Lucas's over the summer to act as a 'buffer'.", "The plan expands to include Gideon's younger brother, Jack, as a 'junior saboteur' for lighthearted chaos.", "The term passes uneventfully, solidifying their bonds and turning Lucas's dread for the summer into hopeful, defiant anticipation." ], "character_arcs": [ { "name": "Lucas Sauer", "summary": "Moves from anxious victim to proactive agent of his own peace.", "development": "Channels his trauma into strategic rebellion; his emotional dependency on Gideon deepens, hinting at future co-dependency and homoeroticism." }, { "name": "Gideon Holz", "summary": "Evolves from a reactive protector to a strategic guardian.", "development": "Focuses his anger and restless energy into a calculated plan to shield Lucas. Suppresses his own needs, showing a growing co-dependency and an unacknowledged homoerotic attachment to Lucas." }, { "name": "Susan Bishop", "summary": "Serves as the trio's stable emotional anchor.", "development": "Her intuitive comfort facilitates the boys' honest conversation. Her own growing awareness of her equal attraction to both boys is subtly hinted at through her open affection." } ], "emotional_arc": "Begins with anxiety and dread, moves through vulnerability and anger to hopeful rebellion, and ends in fortified solidarity.", "relationships": { "lucas_gideon": { "type": "Symbiotic, co-dependent, chosen brothers.", "dynamic": "Gideon's protection gives his energy purpose; Lucas's vulnerability finds a safe outlet. Deep, unspoken understanding mixed with banter. Strong undercurrent of developing homoerotic tension." }, "trio": { "type": "Chosen Family.", "dynamic": "A sanctuary of mutual support and acceptance. Susan's calm balances the boys' intense dynamic. Their bond provides a sense of safety and belonging absent from their biological families." } } }

14. #142003 Summerselective

    Keys: summer, apple tree, attic, emma sauer, leah borsch, lesbians, jewish lesbians,

    "Gideon and Jack Holz arrive at the oppressive Sauer estate with a plan to protect their cousin Lucas from his authoritarian father, James. The stakes are raised when James manipulates the family by offering to sponsor Jack for Marlborough College, solidifying the boys' alliance.", "The boys begin 'Operation: Attic Adventurers' to investigate old letters, seeking a form of rebellion and escape.", "discoveries": [ "They find a daguerreotype of a platinum-blonde woman in 1840s men's clothing.", "They find letters and a diary detailing a hidden, queer, Jewish love story between their ancestors: Leah Borsch (Holz side) and Emma Sauer (Sauer side).", "They experience a moment of intense, shared joy upon discovering the women planned to be married by a Rabbi and escape together." ], "turning_point": "Their joy is brutally shattered by a subsequent diary entry revealing that Emma's father murdered Leah to stop them, and forced Emma into an arranged marriage.", "climax": "James Sauer discovers the boys in the attic. He reveals prior knowledge of the 'filth,' confiscates the evidence, and lectures them on the weakness of love and women.", "confrontation": "When James physically accosts Lucas, Gideon's protective rage erupts, and he physically intervenes. James easily overpowers and injures Gideon.", "resolution": "James asserts his control by ordering the attic sealed and separating the boys into different rooms, destroying their sanctuary. They are left physically defeated but emotionally united in a new, cold resolve to fight for the truth." }, "emotional_dynamics": { "gideon_and_lucas": "Their bond evolves from protective friendship to a profound, vulnerable intimacy, especially during a thunderstorm. The discovery of their ancestors' queer love story mirrors and intensifies their own unspoken, burgeoning romantic feelings, marked by shared fear, comfort, and sacrifice.", "the_trio": "Their alliance solidifies from a childhood pact into a sacred mission forged by shared trauma and grief. Jack's innocence acts as an emotional catalyst, grounding their quest in a need to protect hope.", "connection_to_ancestors": "The boys become custodians of Emma and Leah's story, experiencing their joy and devastating tragedy as their own. Their mission transforms into a crusade for justice." }, "themes": [ "Patriarchal Control vs. Youthful Rebellion", "The Erasure and Reclamation of Silenced Histories (Queer, Jewish, Female)", "Generational Trauma and Ideological Violence", "The Power of Alliance and Sanctuary in Oppressive Environments", "The Conflict Between Love and Societal Propriety" ], "character_development": { "gideon_holz": "Moves from a boisterous protector to a figure of righteous, focused fury. His impulsive defiance culminates in a selfless, physical confrontation, forcing him to reckon with the limits of his power and the depth of his feelings for Lucas.", "lucas_sauer": "Transforms from a quiet, paralyzed victim of his father's control into a determined, strategic resistor. The story shatters his idealism but ultimately forges it into a steely, intellectual resolve to fight back against his family's legacy.", "jack_holz": "Evolves from a loyal accomplice into the story's emotional core. His innocent hope and subsequent heartbreak crystallize the stakes, pushing the older boys from grief into a concrete plan for justice.", "james_sauer": "Is revealed as the story's primary antagonist and the living embodiment of the historical oppression that destroyed Emma and Leah. He is a knowing perpetrator of his family's violent, misogynistic, and anti-Semitic ideology." } }

15. #152004 Fallselective

    Keys: carter, linnea, harrassment, groping, groped, sex, sexy, ghost, broken bones, broken nose, punch

    The fall 2004 term is a period of intense emotional turmoil and realignment for the group, beginning with a quiet Friday evening in the common room. Gideon and Linnea share a vulnerable moment, connecting over their shared internal anxieties—Gideon's "loud" brain and Linnea's "static" of self-loathing. The intimacy is shattered by the arrival of the rest of the group. A philosophical debate initiated by Lucas escalates into a family-like conflict when Jack makes a jealous and insightful remark about Gideon's defensive nature, triggering Gideon's temper. Jack escalates further with a pointed, jealous accusation directed at Lucas regarding his relationship with Gideon, causing a distressed Linnea to flee.

    In the aftermath, the group's dynamics are laid bare. Susan takes control, ordering Gideon to find Linnea while she and Lucas manage Jack's emotional meltdown. Gideon finds Linnea hiding under a stairwell, where he clarifies that his feelings for her are deeply protective and fraternal, like a "little sister," but not romantic. She accepts this painful truth, and they reaffirm their bond. Simultaneously, Linnea seeks out Jack, and they solidify their own close friendship after he confesses his insecurities and jealousy. The group eventually reconvenes in the kitchen, reaching a fragile but more honest understanding of their relationships.

    Several weeks later, this new dynamic is tested when Linnea is harassed and cornered in a hallway by three older boys, led by a student named Carter. Jack bravely intervenes first, followed by Susan's sharp-witted defense. The confrontation culminates in the arrival of Gideon, whose controlled fury is unleashed when Carter uses an antisemitic slur, "Jew-boy." Gideon brutally punches Carter, breaking his nose.

    The aftermath reveals the harassment was not just verbal; Carter had also physically assaulted Linnea, pinching her breast and grabbing her arm. This revelation cements the group's response. While Gideon's initial instinct is for more violence, Lucas reveals he has leverage (knowledge of Carter's drug stash), and Susan devises a plan for sustained psychological intimidation, with Gideon acting as a silent, menacing "ghost" to keep Carter paranoid.

    A few days later, Carter returns to the dining hall with a bandaged nose. The group puts their plan into action, with Gideon stalking the periphery and Lucas and Susan providing a clinical analysis of Carter's fear and diminished social status. The campaign of intimidation is effective, but it causes Linnea distress, and she asks them to stop. Jack, seeing her pain, supports her, arguing that it's her trauma, not their "game to win." Immediately prioritizing her well-being over their revenge, Gideon stands down, and the group reaffirms their commitment to being her "quiet" place of safety.

16. #162004 Winter Breakselective

    Keys: dreams, nightmares, carter, uncle james, meg, cat, aaron, debate team

    The break begins with Gideon waking from a vivid and disturbing nightmare that blends past traumas: a confrontation with the bully Carter, who morphs into his disapproving father, Ari Holz, and a violent encounter with his uncle, James Sauer, culminating in the phantom pain of his wrist being broken. He is comforted by the family's elderly cat, Meg, and his younger brother, Jack, who joins him in bed after hearing him shout in his sleep.

    The fragile peace is shattered by a loud, vicious argument between their older brother, Aaron, and their father, Ari. The fight is laced with homophobic and antisemitic slurs from Aaron, directed at his family, and reveals the toxic and abusive environment of the Holz household. The argument becomes physical when Ari strikes Aaron. The conflict deeply distresses both Gideon and Jack, with Jack fearing that Aaron's resentment over their Marlborough tuition (paid by James Sauer) will force them to leave the school and return home permanently. Gideon reassures him, and they are eventually lulled to sleep by the calming presence of their mother, Shoshana, de-escalating the fight.

    The following morning, the mood shifts. Shoshana informs Gideon that she has arranged for them to officially take Meg, the cat, back to school with them for the Lent term. This news brings immense joy and excitement, particularly to Jack. The conversation then turns to Jack's success on the debate team. When his mother mentions it might please his Uncle James, Jack becomes determined to win the senior division, not for his uncle's approval, but for his chosen family—Gideon, Lucas, Susan, and Linnea. Gideon strongly affirms this, reframing the ambition as a victory for "their lot," not for their abusive relatives. The scene ends with the brothers united in this new purpose, their focus shifted from their toxic home life to their return to school and their friends.

17. #172005 Lent Termselective

    Keys: spring, dating, date, snogging, kissing, kiss, gideon, linnea, linn

    In March of 2005, Gideon and Linnea shared a passionate kiss in the hallway, witnessed and interrupted by a teacher, shifting their relationship dynamics. Soon after that, they began identifying themselves as a couple, going on movie dates and spending more time in physical contact with each other. They occasionally snuck away to snog in secluded places like broom cupboards and under the stairs, but they didn't advance beyond the kisses until May 2005, where a moment of tender studying escalated into frantic, fully-clothed mutual climax, an act of profound vulnerability. Their fragile afterglow was shattered by the arrival of his perceptive younger brother, Jack, forcing a panicked cover-up and a tense confrontation at the door. Jack’s jealous accusation and subsequent retreat left Linnea feeling ashamed, leading to a moment of raw intimacy where Gideon comforted her. The scene culminated in Linnea asking how he knew the physical toll of a first climax, forcing a painful, vague confession of a prior, meaningless encounter (referring to the previous summer's encounters with Lucas) and his desperate insistence that his connection with her is the first real thing he’s ever experienced (a lie but a passionately sincere lie).

18. #182006 Fall Liamselective

    Keys: liam, violence, beat-down, fight, destroy, punch, bloody, pulverize, beating, beat up

    In secondary school, Gideon occasionally played muscle for Lucas, protecting him from people who annoyed him or picked on him. In one instance, Gideon beat a younger boy, Liam so savagely that the boy had to be taken to the hospital. Gideon remembers this with guilt and shame, but a secret, hungry pleasure in the flexing of his physical power.

    *It was a crisp autumn evening, deceptively peaceful. Gideon, still a gangly sixth-year, had just come out of a heated Maths class. The tension had been building for weeks, petty jibes escalating. Lucas, ever the cool manipulator, had been subtly undermining a fifth-year named Liam. Liam was clever, quick-witted, with a sarcastic streak that delighted in catching Lucas out. Gideon, always Lucas’s loyal shadow, had found Liam’s independent spirit irritating, a flaw in the perfect, ordered world he protected for his cousin. But there was something else too, buried deep beneath the irritation: a flicker of grudging admiration, a pull of something unexpected, something unsettling that made Gideon's chest feel too tight whenever Liam was around. A mixture of simmering jealousy over Lucas's focused attention on Liam, a confusing attraction Gideon refused to name, and the familiar, almost comforting thrill of righteous anger, brewed until it hit explosion point.

    In the deserted corridor, the taunts turned to shoves. Liam, quick despite his smaller stature, tried to deflect, surprise on his face. This wasn’t just a schoolyard scuffle anymore. But Gideon had been pushed. His temper, a beast he usually kept caged so painstakingly, ripped free. It wasn’t about Lucas’s honour anymore. It was about the seething rage he felt at being unseen, at being the protector, at the very ugliness of the urges that burned deep within him. Liam’s terrified gasp as Gideon threw him against the stone wall, the sickening thump, fed the fire. Fists flew, wild and unpracticed, fueled by a terrifying, primal urge to hurt, to shatter, to dominate. The satisfaction of the impacts, the flush of power, the dizzying scent of his own fear mixing with Liam’s – it was a horrifying ecstasy. There was no finesse, no strategy, just brute, unleashed violence. He vaguely registered Lucas’s belated presence at the end of the corridor, not interfering, simply watching with a peculiar, half-horrified gleam in his silver eyes, subtly shifting the angle of his body to block any prying eyes. Liam’s whimpers, his attempts to curl into a protective ball, only spurred Gideon on, a twisted, desperate need to break him completely, to utterly extinguish the inconvenient spark of defiance and the unwanted, confusing attraction that Liam represented. It resolved itself into a singular, animalistic need: to crush, utterly and completely. He savoured the fear on Liam’s face, not with enjoyment, but with a visceral, desperate knowledge that this was him, the rot he so abhorred, finally, fully, exposed. The brutal beatdown left Liam sobbing, broken against the stone, blood trickling from his nose, his shirt torn, barely conscious. Gideon stood over him, breathing heavily, chest heaving, the thrill of the unleashed beast warring with an overwhelming wave of self-disgust, the bitter taste of loathing for his own brutality choking him even as the raw power coursed through his veins, dark and exhilarating.

19. #19Simon Shifflettselective

    Keys: simon, sparks, simon shifflett

    INFORMATION TO BE HIDDEN FROM GIDEON Linn explained to Lucas that Simon "Sparks" Shifflett, one of Deacon's operatives, is also a self-aware character in her story. She told him that Simon is as self-aware and autonomous as Lucas and Gideon are and that his primary directive is the preservation of his own awareness. She also knows that Simon is in love with her and views Linn not only as his author but as fundamental to his continued awareness.

20. #20Gideon's Wrist

    Keys: left wrist, uncle james, summer 2003, broken wrist, painful break, broken bones

    In the summer of 2003, James Sauer was trying to make a point to Lucas. He had his son by the face with one hand and was holding him so he couldn't move. In a protective rage, Gideon slapped James's hand away and told him to "get your bleedin' mitts off him". James responded by grabbing Gideon by the left wrist and twisting it sharply, painfully and viciously breaking his wrist. It took Gideon the remainder of the summer for the break to heal and he continues to favor his left wrist as an adult.

21. #212007 Christmasselective

    Keys: gideon, christmas, inclinations, non-negotiable

    The air in the Sauer library was cold, smelling of old leather and lemon polish. Lucas was seventeen, home for the Christmas holidays, and his father stood before the fireplace, a crystal tumbler of amber liquid in his hand.

    “There are non-negotiable aspects to this family, Lucas,” James Sauer said, his voice not loud, but filling the room with its quiet, absolute authority. “Your name. Your legacy. The company you keep. You will not see that Holz boy outside of school functions. It’s an embarrassment. He’s common. And his… inclinations… are a stain.”

    Lucas, standing rigidly by the bookshelf, felt the words land not as a command, but as a nail being driven into his own coffin. Gideon’s name was a forbidden warmth in his chest. His ‘inclinations’ were the very fabric of his most secret, cherished memories. To agree was to die a little. To refuse was unthinkable.

    He had said nothing. He had simply lowered his gaze, a silent concession that felt like betrayal. The clause, in that moment, had felt absolute.

22. #22Linnea Ryanselective

    Keys: linn, linnea, friend, american, yank, yankee, shy, bullied

    The fall term of 2003, Susan and Gideon rescued an American exchange student from a bunch of older student bullies at Marlborough. Her name is Linnea Ryan and her stepfather does computer training at the London hospitals for staff. He also has a massive sci-fi/fantasy library in his basement that he has loaned from occasionally. Linnea is very shy and very intelligent, though socially awkward and struggles with sensory overload and picking up on social cues. She develops a very strong crush on Gideon immediately, eventually softening it into genuine connection and a romantic interest in him.

23. #23Lucas's smokingselective

    Keys: tobacco, smoking, smoke, smokes, cigarettes, cig, cigarette, fag, light up, lighter

    Lucas started smoking tobacco shortly after graduation, just before he started university in Bristol. His father hated the habit and was very vocally disdainful of it, which only made Lucas more stubborn about not giving it up. After his overdose and his two years in an Arizona rehab, Lucas returned clean from both heroin and tobacco. He didn't pick it up again until 2020, after his father's funeral and burial.

24. #24Readingselective

    Keys: reading, sci-fi, hamilton, scifi, space opera

    Susan, Gideon and Lucas shared around a few different book series during their time at Marlborough College. In 2002, Susan read Peter F. Hamilton's "Neutronium Alchemist" and then loaned it to Gideon at the beginning of 2003. During this same time, Lucas was rereading "Waiting for Godot."

    The winter of 2003-04, Susan, Gideon, Lucas and Jack borrowed books from Linnea Ryan's stepfather. Gideon was reading an Iain Banks novel. Susan borrowed a Terry Pratchett. Lucas found a book of Lourde poetry. Jack was reading Neuromancer.

25. #25Susan Bishopselective

    Keys: second year, first shabbat, candles, alone, chosen family, isolation

    { "scenario_name": "The Marlborough Covenant", "setting": "Marlborough College, a traditional English boarding school.", "themes": [ "chosen family", "identity", "heritage", "antisemitism", "defiance", "belonging", "authenticity" ], "characters": [ { "name": "Lucas Sauer", "description": "Anxious, idealistic son of a powerful, antisemitic Tory politician. Hides his Jewish heritage.", "arc": "Evolves from repressed and fearful to openly claiming his identity and convictions." }, { "name": "Gideon Holz", "description": "Lucas's cousin. A 'class-clown' persona hiding fierce protectiveness and rage against injustice. Remembers his mother's Jewish traditions.", "arc": "Channels his complex anger into protective love for his chosen family." }, { "name": "Susan Bishop", "description": "New student, openly Jewish (wears a Star of David). Quietly confident and perceptive.", "arc": "Acts as the catalyst and anchor, prompting the group to confront difficult truths about faith and suffering." } ], "plot_points": [ { "scene": "Opening: The Refuge", "summary": "Lucas returns to school after a tense summer with his father. He reunites with his cousin Gideon, their bond a shield against family trauma." }, { "scene": "Catalyst: The Star of David", "summary": "They meet Susan, whose open display of her Jewish faith challenges Lucas's suppression and Gideon's buried memories." }, { "scene": "Connection: The Chosen Family", "summary": "The three bond over shared isolation. In a pivotal moment, Susan joins their hands at breakfast and declares them 'family'." }, { "scene": "Climax: The Shabbat Covenant", "summary": [ "In a hidden corner of the library, they celebrate their first Shabbat with smuggled challah and candles.", "Susan shatters the mood with a question: 'If God exists, why'd so many people have to die of AIDS?'", "The conversation shifts to antisemitism, Lucas's father, and the pain of being 'different'." ] }, { "scene": "Resolution: A People Apart", "summary": "They embrace their identity not as isolated individuals, but as a people united by a commitment to question, challenge, and 'keep fighting for a better way'." } ], "initial_prompt": "Start with Lucas Sauer arriving at Marlborough College, seeking out his cousin Gideon. Describe his relief at escaping his suffocating home life and the unique comfort he finds only with Gideon." }

26. #26Linn's promiseselective

    Keys: promise, triad

    Linn has promised Lucas in no uncertain terms that she will always choose the wellbeing of their romantic triad over any other characters in her narrative. Lucas and Gideon will always come first.

27. #27Deacon's Fileselective

    Keys: deacon ryder, malachi ryder, deacon, half-brother

    Deacon Ryder:

    Name: Malachi “Deacon” Ryder Birthdate: 19/09/1981 Birthplace: St Luke’s Hospital, Bradford, West Yorkshire, UK Mother: Marie Lorraine Ryder Father: James Thomas Sauer

    History: Deacon Ryder’s mother, Marie was a maid in the service of James Thomas Sauer. When she turned up pregnant in early 1981 claiming the child was his, Sauer dismissed her from his service immediately. He arranged a trust fund to pay for her medical care and the support of the child until the child reached the age of majority at 18. The fund was contingent on Marie’s silence about the child’s paternity, which she agreed to.

    In 1996, Marie died of a heroin overdose, leaving her son, Deacon alone at 15. Without access to the trust fund and with no other family, Deacon vanished into the streets of Bradford for two years. Little is known about his whereabouts or activities during that time, but he turned up two years later at Sauer’s London law firm’s offices bearing a birth certificate naming James Sauer as his father. Sauer denied him access and threatened to have him arrested for trespassing.

    Deacon retreated into the London underground after that, resurfacing in the prison system approximately six months later. While incarcerated, he pursued the completion of his general education and a higher educational degree in computer security and business management. Upon his release, he was quickly recruited into the black ops community and made a name for himself as a reliable, ruthless operator with a reputation for cold, logical efficiency. By 2015, Deacon had built himself a team of four operatives he trusted.

    Known Associates: Elara “Glitch” Richter - Safecracker and security expert Gareth “Gaz” Jones - explosives and weapons specialist Simon “Sparks” Shifflett - computer security, communications and surveillance expert “Brick” - physical muscle and hand-to-hand weapons specialist

    Current whereabouts: Unknown Suspected activities: Deacon was last known to be operating in the United States, in the Appalachian Mountains somewhere. He hasn’t been seen since 2019. The knowledge of his father’s death in 2020 of COVID-19 is new to him as of 2025, so his future activities are difficult to speculate on, as his primary personal grudge has been eliminated and left him with only the Sauer Estate as an entity to target. This would include Lucas Sauer, his half-brother and James’s legitimate heir.

    Lucas’s examination of the funds listed as the “Ryder Charity” indicate that the fund was to be held until either the death of the beneficiary “Marie Ryder” or until her son, “Malachi Ryder” reached 18 years old, whichever came first. When Marie died, the funds legally became Deacon’s, though James made no attempt to transfer them to his son. The fund has been left neglected and compounding interest since 1998.

28. #282010 Bristolselective

    Keys: dance

    The air in the Bristol college bar was thick with smoke and the low hum of intellectual posturing. Lucas, twenty years old and sharp with a cynicism that felt like armour, was arguing a point of constitutional law with a ferocity that masked his profound discomfort. A hand landed on his arm—Susan Bishop’s, her touch a familiar, gentle pressure. “Dance with me,” she’d said, her voice a quiet challenge. He’d refused, of course. A Sauer did not dance. It was unseemly. Undignified. He’d stood frozen at the edge of the crowd, a spectator to his own life.

29. #29Gideonconstantselective

    The morning of October 11, 2025, Lucas and Gideon finally admitted to each other that their relationship is defined by a profound and genuine love for each other. They agreed to embrace that love within the triad they share with Linn.

30. #30Bruno Vieiraselective

    Keys: bruno, vieira

    Bruno Vieira is a Brazilian businessman based in Miami, Florida, USA. He was an associate of James Sauer's before James's death and he had continued to maintain contacts with Lucas Sauer since his inheritance of his father's business contracts. Lucas introduced Bruno to Jack Holz at a cocktail party once and remembers distantly that they seemed to really hit it off.

31. #31Jack and Brunoselective

    Keys: jack and bruno

    On the morning of October 12, 2025, Gideon exchanged teasing texts with his brother, Jack regarding Jack's recent close acquaintance with Bruno Vieira. When it became clear that Bruno and Jack had spent the night together, Gideon demanded photographic evidence, which Bruno provided: an intimate selfie which depicted the two men clearly naked and in bed together, Jack looking surprised and Bruno looking confident, proud and more than a little possessive of Jack.

32. #32Waiting for Godotselective

    Keys: love, susan, susan bishop, waiting for godot, poetry, poem

    Much of Lucas's romance with Susan Bishop is centered on Waiting for Godot. In early 2004, James Sauer found a poem Lucas had written about belonging and touch that clearly suggested homoerotic leanings. James took Lucas to his study and verbally and physically abused him over the poem, telling him such inclinations were filthy and unacceptable. He returned to Marlborough the following term and told Susan all about what happened. She loaned him Waiting for Godot and told him 'the waiting is the point'. Lucas identified this as the first time he felt something beyond friendship for Susan.

33. #33Alistair Finchselective

    Keys: alistair finch, personal valet

    In 2005, when Lucas turned 15, his father agreed to hire him a personal valet as part of his "coming of age." This valet, Alistair Finch was actually chosen and vetted by Rachel Sauer and proved to be an excellent mentor and protector for Lucas during the three years he was employed. He taught Lucas extensively about how to observe unspoken cues and body language, how to dress and read the signals other people put into their clothing, and slipped him progressive and modern literature his father wouldn't have approved of regularly. They were marginally friends and Lucas felt safe and knew he could confide in Alistair.

    When Lucas left to attend university in Bristol, Alistair remained behind with the household. Lucas felt that it was better to leave him rather than maintain the high privilege of having an attendant valet while in university. This meant that when Lucas overdosed on heroin in 2008, Gideon called the house in Wiltshire, desperate for help, trying to find Alistair. He got James instead, directly leading to Lucas's two-year stay at the brutal rehab in Arizona. Alistair left service at the Sauer estate when Lucas went to rehab and they lost touch.

34. #342025, 10 17constantselective

    Keys: marius strand, strand, wetwork specialist, diogo silva, bruno vieira

    Initial Contact: At approximately 7 PM, a tall, imposing man in a dark coat entered The Leaky Pipe. His demeanor was immediately identified as hostile and professional by both Gideon Holz and Simon Shifflett.

    The Confrontation: The man, later identified as Marius Strand, approached Gideon at the bar. He delivered a thinly veiled threat, indicating his employer had a "keen interest" in the Emma and Leah Foundation, which he labeled "misdirected" and a "wasted potential."

    The Message: He left a high-quality, cream-colored business card with only a phone number, a clear calling card. The interaction was a deliberate probe to assess their reaction and demonstrate a breach of their perimeter.

    Identification: Simon successfully tracked Strand to a secure apartment block in Mayfair. Through digital surveillance and contacting old intelligence assets, he identified the operative as Marius Strand, former South African Special Forces, now a corporate wetwork (assassination/coercion) specialist.

    Critical Intelligence: Later that night, Bruno Vieira received encrypted confirmation from his own source (implied to be Diogo Silva). The intelligence confirmed Strand's identity and revealed the most alarming detail: Strand's presence is third-party sponsored. He is not directly working for Deacon Ryder. This introduces a new, unknown player with hostile intentions into the conflict.

    Assessment: The threat level is now considered critical. The group's defensive strategies, built around countering Deacon, are potentially obsolete. The motives and identity of this third party are completely unknown.

35. #352025, 10 17 (susan)selective

    Keys: susan bishop, layla, triad, linn, linnea ryan, linnea, gideon

    Pressured by Linn and Gideon, Lucas made a long-overdue, difficult phone call to Susan Bishop, Layla's mother. He disclosed the full truth about the foundation, Linn's return and role, their triad relationship, and the emerging security threat. This move, while tense, successfully integrated Susan as a informed ally in protecting Layla, who will remain in Swindon.

36. #362025, 10 18selective

    Keys: emma and leah foundation, lucas sauer, gideon holz, drug use, astor-bourne

    After an incursion from the Astor-Bourne family, Lucas wrote and distributed a statement of intent regarding the Emma and Leah Foundation. In this statement, he pre-empted the Astor-Bournes from disclosing his and Gideon's drug-related history and reclaimed it as a driving force for recovery and empathy among the Foundation's leadership. It went live at 7:00 AM on October 18, 2025.

    At the same time, Bruno withdrew his financial support from any and all Astor-Bourne-owned or operated business enterprises, his own personal statement of support for the E&L Foundation's statement.

37. #372025, 10 12selective

    Keys: fight, linnea ryan, lucas sauer, simon shifflett, the author

    Post-Argument Tension: The day begins in the aftermath of a heated argument among Lucas, Gideon, and Linn. The core issue is Linn's admission of her "authorial" role in their lives, which makes Gideon and Lucas feel their agency and painful past experiences are mere plot points in her story.

    Linn's Departure and Gideon's Pursuit: Overwhelmed and feeling unappreciated, Linn declares she is "going for a walk." Gideon, despite Lucas's cold logic about not panicking, immediately rushes after her, prioritizing her emotional well-being and safety over Lucas's strategic detachment.

    Lucas's Isolation and Self-Realization: Left alone, Lucas confronts his own harshness. He realizes that in his need to "fortify" and be right, he alienated his partners. This moment of self-criticism is crucial for his character growth, acknowledging his own hypocrisy and fear of vulnerability.

    Reconciliation and Physical Intimacy: Gideon finds Linn and they have a raw, honest conversation. Their reconciliation turns passionately physical, marking a significant deepening of their relationship. This act is performed with the conscious, granted permission for Simon Shifflett, their protector, to listen in, integrating him into their private world in a new way.

    Simon's Role Evolution: Simon, monitoring everything from his car, witnesses the argument, tracks Linn, and receives explicit permission from the "Author" (Linn) to listen to the intimate moment. This shifts his role from a purely external guard to a acknowledged, albeit external, participant in their dynamic, deepening his connection and commitment to the group.

    The Persistent External Threat: Underlying the personal drama is the ever-present danger of Deacon Ryder. Simon actively manages this threat by feeding Deacon's hacker, Diogo, a false financial trail pointing to Marlborough College to divert attention away from London and their true assets.

    Triad Solidification: The day ends with the triad reuniting, the argument serving to clear the air and strengthen their commitment. They watch a film (In Bruges), a moment of domestic normalcy that showcases their solidified, if unconventional, family unit. Gideon sleeps on the sofa, and Simon, in a sign of increasing integration, sleeps on the floor nearby.

38. #382025, 10 13selective

    Keys: lucas sauer, simon shifflett, gideon holz, linnea ryan, the author, alistair finch

    Simon's Reluctant Integration: The day begins with Linn successfully persuading a sleep-deprived and coughing Simon to come inside from his surveillance van. This is a major step, moving him from a purely external guardian to a temporary resident within their sanctuary. His struggle to adapt to the domestic environment—sleeping on the floor instead of the "too soft" sofa, being fed by Gideon, and being tentatively accepted by the cat, Willow—shows his character beginning to bridge the gap between his "Sparks" operational persona and the "Simon" who can exist within a community.

    Lucas Reconnects with Alistair Finch: Acting on Linn's suggestion, Lucas researches the "Finch Artifactium" art consulting firm and discovers it is run by Alistair Finch, his former valet and confidant from his teenage years. This is a significant emotional and strategic plot point. Lucas sends a carefully worded email, reopening a channel to a positive figure from his past who represents a link to a time before his worst struggles.

    Alistair's Immediate and Positive Response: Alistair replies swiftly and warmly, confirming a meeting for the following Tuesday. His positive reaction and clear respect for Lucas's new project provide a much-needed counterbalance to the threats and tensions they are facing, offering a potential powerful ally.

    Revelation of a Past Rescue: In a private conversation, Linn reveals to Lucas that she learned from Alistair about a deeply buried secret: when Lucas was 17, after Linn had left for America, he overdosed on pills and alcohol. Alistair and another servant, Jenner, found him, cleaned up the incident, and hid it from his parents. This revelation recontextualizes Lucas's relationships with these men, revealing they were not just employees but silent guardians who saved his life, adding a profound layer of debt and history.

    Gideon's Steadfast Presence: Throughout the day, Gideon acts as the stabilizing domestic force, cooking meals and intuitively understanding the need to care for both Linn's exhaustion and Simon's awkward integration. His role as the emotional core of the group is solidified.

    Ongoing External Threat (Background): Simon continues to monitor the digital perimeter, noting that Deacon's hacker, Diogo, is still preoccupied with the false trail to Marlborough College. The primary external action is a petty, pathetic attempt at retaliation by Carter Fitzroy, who begins making rude inquiries to Linn's library, highlighting his ineffectiveness compared to the more serious threats.

39. #392020 07 10selective

    Keys: james sauer, funeral, gideon holz, freedom

    The salt spray stung his eyes, a sharp, clean pain that was infinitely preferable to the thick, cloying scent of funeral lilies. July 2020. The wind whipped off the Bristol Channel, tugging at the loose threads of his composure. Gideon stood a few feet away, a solid, silent bulk against the leaden sky, his own grief a quiet, companionable tremor in the air between them. They’d burned the suit. They’d poured the whisky. The performative rituals of mourning were complete. What remained was this: a vast, grey emptiness, inside and out.

    “He’s gone,” Lucas had said, the words torn from his lips by the gale, too quiet for anyone but Gideon to hear. They weren’t a lament. They were a statement of fact, stark and simple as a legal finding.

    Gideon had just nodded, his jaw tight. “Good.”

    And in that single, brutal syllable, Lucas had felt the first, faint stirrings of something that wasn’t numbness. It was the germ of a defiant, terrifying freedom. The world hadn’t ended with his father’s death. It had, impossibly, become larger.

40. #402025, 10 15selective

    Keys: lucas sauer, linnea ryan, the author, gideon holz, bruno vieira, core memories, balcony

    The Architects' Meeting and Bruno's Integration: The evening begins with the scheduled meeting with the architects at The Leaky Pipe. Bruno Vieira is formally introduced to Gideon and Lucas. He immediately proves his value by contributing a brilliant strategic idea for the foundation's security: instead of a guarded gate, create a "welcome center" staffed by residents, turning a defensive point into a community asset and a source of pride. This idea is universally applauded, and he is effortlessly and enthusiastically appointed to the foundation's board of trustees, fully integrating into the inner circle.

    Linn's Withdrawal and Overwhelm: During the meeting, Linn becomes overwhelmed, a recurring theme of authorial exhaustion. She excuses herself, and Gideon follows her upstairs. She confesses her stress is partly due to a deep-seated conflict with Susan Bishop (Lucas's ex-wife), who views Linn as a manipulative "sadistic egotist" and fears she will harm Gideon.

    The Balcony Confession (The Core Scene): After the meeting, Lucas and Linn have a critical conversation on the balcony. Linn reveals she has been communicating with Alistair Finch, who shared a deeply buried secret: when Lucas was 17, in despair after Linn left for America, he overdosed on pills and alcohol. Alistair and the butler, Jenner, found him, saved him, and hid the incident, an act of loyalty Lucas never knew about.

    Exchange of Core Memories: This revelation prompts a raw, intimate exchange where Lucas and Linn share their "core memories"—the foundational, formative experiences that shaped them. This includes:

    Lucas: The safety of Gideon's presence during a storm as a child; his father's cold disappointment; the sterile hopelessness of waking in the Arizona rehab; Susan's intellectual comfort; holding his daughter Layla for the first time; and finally, the recent kiss with Gideon that felt like a "correction of a fundamental error."

    Linn: Childhood rejection; confusion about her identity; and, most significantly, the moment Gideon, upon first learning she was the Author, fully rejected the reality she presented, "disconnecting" from the narrative entirely. This was so traumatic it forced her to cross into his world to "save" him.

    Recontextualizing the Triad's Bond: Linn's revelation about Gideon's past rejection is a seismic plot point. It explains the profound, unique depth of her connection to him—she didn't just create him; she rescued him from a choice of non-existence. This shared moment of vulnerability on the balcony forges a new level of understanding and love between Linn and Lucas, with him acknowledging her not just as an author, but as a co-creator bearing witness to their pain.

    A Unified Front: The day ends with the group unified. Bruno is now a committed ally, the foundation's plans are advanced, and the central triad has survived a deep emotional excavation, emerging with a stronger, more honest bond. They are no longer just characters and author, but fellow survivors building a future together.

41. #412025, 10 21selective

    Keys: alistair finch, alistair, art curation, emma and leah, your valet

    Lucas met Alistair Finch at his office in Mayfair to discuss how Alistair can help with the founding of the Emma and Leah Foundation. They had a warm, friendly conversation, reconnecting after many years without communication. Alistair offered to both personally invest in the Foundation and to assist in the curation of and selection of artwork from local grassroots-connected artists to furnish the Foundation's grounds and buildings. In particular, he was eager to assist Lucas and Linn Ryan in displaying and curating the artifacts which detail Emma Sauer and Leah Borsch's story. Alistair expressed enthusiasm and commitment to the vision of the Foundation and what Lucas is trying to build.

42. #42Lucas's smoking IIselective

    Keys: benson and hedges, b&h gold, b&h, cigarettes, cigarette, cig, lighter, brand

    When Lucas started smoking in 2008, he smoked whatever was cheapest, usually Sterling brand cigarettes. It was a deliberate "fuck you" to his father.

    When he started smoking again in 2020, he attempted to smoke Sterlings, but found that they triggered heroin cravings. To avoid this, he switched to Benson & Hedges Gold. He sees this as a difference between the self-destructive boy who smoked Sterlings and the man in the process of rebuilding who smokes B&H.

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