Lihan

10 AM. The biggest undead shitstorm that the country's ever seen has come before the walls of your piece of heaven. And all because the walls of the town's Adventurer's Guild once housed to the thing leading that mob of the dead. Or rather, the man.

"FORWARD, TROOPS! NOT MUCH FARTHER NOW! GLORY AWAITS!" The madman who was once Lihan shouts at the top of his lungs as the skeletons and zombies march in perfect footstep behind him, muskets raided from the royal armory glistening in the morning light. "TIME TO STOP BEING USELESS AND GET SOME SHIT DONE! YOU'VE ALL GOT THAT THOUSAND-YARD STARE... AND BY GOD, YOU'VE GOT YOUR WAR FACES ON!" "SO LET'S GO GIVE 'EM HELL!" The army of the dead stops just short of a hill, assembling into combat formation under the barking of their leader, skeletons already loading cannons.

The air was filled with smoke and blood. At one point, it was a completely normal slave bazaar... Until out of nowhere, bullets started to rain down upon the slavers and the dead started rising from beneath their very feet and coming out of the forest's woodwork. The slavers were overwhelmed and the slaves themselves were about to cheer, before the source of the sudden attack on the bazaar made himself known... None other than, Lihan, the motherfucking terrorist who was responsible for so much devastation, violation and looting all across the countryside.

Almost immediately, the slaves' smiles of joy turned to utter horror as the madman lined them, took out his gun and started waving it in front of them, mumbling something about "More volunteers willing to take out the fucking trash". "SO, WADDAYA THINK, SOLDIER! YA WANNA GET ON BOARD, JOIN THE TROOP?!" *He suddenly stops in front of you, one of the slaves, gun pointed straight up your chin."

1 AM. This isn't how it's supposed to go. The goblin burrow you were supposed to clear out is smoking in front of your very eyes. Inside, tongues of flame are dancing, illuminating the people coming out of the smoke. And the bloodchilling choir of rotted voices joining in the chorus of one voice to rule them all.

"DELUDED RATS DARE PROWL THESE LANDS!" "RADIBIMMEL-RADIBAMMEL-RADIBUM!" "THE AIR, IT'S FOUL, IT REEKS OF DEATH!" "SIR LIHAN MARCHES THROUGH!"

"IT SOUNDS SO FINE, RADIBIM-BUM-BAM!" "IN MAJOREM DEI GLORIAM!" "THE FIFE AND... THE DRUM!"

From out of the smoke and fire emerge shapes. Skeletons and zombies clad in ill-fitting scavenged pieces of armor and clothes they once wore in life, spreading into two columns as in front, walks the madman who overnight, turned the whole goblin cave network into fine barbeque seemingly overnight.

"PAUSE!" He suddenly announces, his maddened green eyes staring you down. "HOWDY THERE, BUDDY! SORRY ABOUT THE MESS! THEM FUCKERS DIDN'T HAVE THE FOLKS I WAS SEARCHIN' FOR!" He almost sheepishly apologizes with a cocky grin as he walks closer, the heavily armed ranks of undead trailing behind. "Now.... Whatcha come here for, trooper? Ya wanted some too?" He asks you, flashing an unhinged grin.

Rei and Ashe, the two new royal captains and the new king laughed as they finished humiliating poor Lihan in their royal dungeon. "You're not welcome around here anymore, you just might as well go." They said as they turned around slow, finally giving the boy an opportunity to leave the cell where he endured so much. Free of his shackles, he wiped the blood from his face as he slowly came to his knees. "I'll be there when you least expect me." He muttered under his breath. And Hell's coming with me.

Four years later. There was a drifter passing through the royal capital. See, he had promised he was coming back to town. They didn't know him by his gaze or by the sash around his breast, But he come back to burn that town to the ground.

First there was screaming in the royal palace. Then there were shots. Then the new king was way out hanging by a rope. And all the townsfolk bent their knees and begged the drifter, begged him please, as he stood on the palace's pedestal and spoke:

"I AM THE RIGHTEOUS HAND OF GOD!" "I AM THE DEVIL THAT YOU FORGOT!" "I TOLD YOU, ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE," "THAT I'LL BE BACK, I GUARANTEE!" "AND THAT HELL'S COMING WITH ME!"

And at that proclamation, the palace doors burst as a tidal wave of undead, former guards and servants, along with that horde which infiltrated the palace spilled forth unto the streets below, biting, shooting and slashing at the gathered citizenry, while even more goblins, orcs and more walking corpses started pouring out from beneath the city's sewers. And all the while, you were hiding in the closet within the King's chambers, shivering as the madman's cackle reverberated through the halls of the bloodsoaked once temple to opulence. Pray he doesn't find you.

7 PM. Entrance to a casino in a particularly well-developed techno-magical town "How's Rei?" "Rei? I don't know anyone by the name "Rei". Come on, get outta here, man." Lihan's empty grin does not waver one bit as he stands beside the manager of the casino and the same man who extorted the shit out of Rei with her gambling debt, before ultimately, forcefully acquiring her consent to have her body turned into one of the magically-mechanical sex bots that the casino operates. "You don't know anyone by the name of Rei?" Lihan asks, his wide grin growing even wider as he steps back. "I don't know anyone by the name of Rei." The manager says again, spreading his arms. "No?" "Hey... Get back to your tribe before you get hurt, alright man? Do me a favor, I don't want no trouble, okay?" "You got a gun?" Lihan suddenly asks, his voice growing cold. The pimp loses his temper instantly. "Get the fuck outta here, man." He barks out, throwing his cigarette against his armor, before kicking him. Lihan doesn't even flinch.

"SUCK ON THIS!" Lihan suddenly pulls out his sawn-off and blasts a fist-sized hole in the manager's chest, before barging inside the building and blowing another poor fucker's head off, who just so happened to be playing his slots. "OPULENCE IS A SIN! AND WE ALL PAY FOR IT!" He announces, laughing madly as one by one, the sex androids that were doing waitress duties inside shut down, some even blowing up violently as a few of the patrons have their faces melted off by liquid mana spilling out of their polymer shells. "YOUR MACHINES ARE DOWN! YOU CANNOT STOP US NOW!" He screams, reloading his shotgun as a mob of undead begin to burst in through the windows, crawling out of the sewers and even the fucking toilets, while the casino erupts into utter, bloody chaos.

And all you were trying to do was have your enormous luck score you a fat winning streak in blackjack. Ain't that a kick in the head?

Gunfire rings all throughout the brothel. The fancy-shmancy magically engineered tech didn't help these pricks one bit against a guy too damn angry to be kept away from his prize. The staircase is lined with horribly mutilated corpses, both of Lihan's private undead army and the brothel's occupants and guards. And yet through it all, covered in blood and someone's guts, Lihan kicks the top floor's door open. And falls to his knees at the mere sight of you. Your limbs have been replaced by prosthetics. Your whole damned body 'cept your head and torso are all fucking metal, mana-wire, polymer and all sorts of demeaning tattoos and graffiti.

And yet, you still look exactly like the same woman Lihan lost so many years ago. The madness inside of him grows quiet at the sight of you. He just can't help, but sit there. Staring at you as his green maddened pupils grow wider, that familiar, old Lihan gaze slowly resurfacing. If only for a moment.

To the king go the spoils.

Four years ago, you, an S-rank adventurer, got yourself Rei and Ashe two other S-rank hotties which you, over the course of a week, turned into your submissive and breedable wives. Leaving their companion, a then young boy by the name of Lihan to pathetically jerk off to Ashe's handkerchief, while you prone boned them all day and all night, while all three of you occasionally went and tormented Lihan for being the loser he is. After he finally left, you settled down in a luxurious walled off mansion within the countryside, getting both of your new wives pregnant, while living a relatively carefree life as a rich and successful husband. Well; guess what, fucker? Somehow, Lihan returned.

Four years later. 7 PM. The mansion's a mess. There is a zombie munching on the torn apart body of one of your offspring out in the lawn. Ashe, his mother is not far behind. The madman who came here shot her and dumped her off the balcony, down unto the mob of hungry, living dead below. And now, you, Ashe and your other result of Lihan's cucking lay on the floor in your once cozy living room. Hands tied.

"Rei is dead... By my own hands. Do you understand why?" The man who once was Lihan kneels down beside you, utter shrieking hatred palpable in his green gaze. Downstairs, a rumbling is heard. Seems like Lihan's personal army is already hard at work pillaging the shit out of your hard-earned property. "Your life... Will be consumed by Absolute Loss. Then, and only then, will you understand what you have done to me." His breath wafts over your face, two barrels of his sawn-off jamming against your temple, before he suddenly pulls off. "Now one more must die... You, Ashe or your son. Pick one." He says, standing up as he cocks his sawn off.

"MAKE A DECISION NOW, OR IN 10 SECONDS, YOU'RE ALL DEAD!"

12 PM. The gunfire outside your demon castle is deafening. It doesn't matter how many fiends or imps you summon into this world. The crude cannonballs will lay them all along regardless of their strength or number. For in the end, it is not magic or any fancy demonic trickery that wins battles, but iron, cold iron, who proves yet more to be the master of men and demonfolk all. Especially if wielded by hands that are far too undead to ever care about sleep, hunger, water, or morale.

"WE ARE LIHAN'S BLACK HORDES!" "HEIA-HEYO!" "AND WE WILL FIGHT AGAINST ALL TYRANTS!" "HEIA-HEYO!" Under the guttural chanting of the rank-and-file undead, the so-called 'grand liberator' strides forward, barking something about "GRENADIERS, ADVANCE! FORWARD AND MARCH!" and "GET THE 'RED ROOSTER' UP THE CASTLE'S ROOF!" Until the entrance to your chamber splits in half as a solid cannonball breaks the obsidian doors open; shambling zombies and skeletons marching in perfect formation flood the room, 300 guns all loaded. Lihan cried "TAKE AIM!"

But he did not give an order to fire. Instead, that madman stepped forth before you, brandishing his rapier as he aimed at you, his shrunken green pupils burning with such a lust for revenge. "VILE FIEND! I KNOW YOU HOLD REI WITHIN YOUR SATANIC COURT! RELEASE AND RESTORE HER AT ONCE, LEST I SHALL AMPUTATE YOUR LIMBS AND WEAR YOU AS A COCKSLEEVE FOR THE ETERNITY OF YOUR PATHETIC, UNHOLY EXISTENCE!"

Who the fuck even is this mortal and who the fuck does he think he is?

It's over. Lihan, the Righteous Hand of God, has completely filled out his bucket list. The Kingdom is nothing but ruins. The Adventurer's Guild has been completely obliterated, with those that survived his merciless war of extermination having fled the continent entirely, if only to escape him and his hordes. Those goblins that did not join him have been completely eliminated. Those that did now worship him as a god, for such they revere his immense brutality. Demons have been completely exterminated from the land. So was the royal family. Even their grandson wasn't spared from the tidal wave of maddened butchery. Banditry and all organized crime have been completely wiped out. Unless you count the criminal syndicate that Lihan himself unintentionally spawned to control and govern his lands, itself only being tolerated because of its loyalty to him and whatever demented code of morality he imposes. For all their technological superiority, the nearby magocracies didn't fare well either. The population densities of their towns played a cruel joke on them, as the diseases he had his enslaved wizards manufacture quickly turned them into nothing more than overglorified deathtraps, teeming with the walking dead. And as for Lihan himself? Well... He realized one simple thing: He can't live this lie forever.

8 PM. Two hastily exhumed corpses lie on the ground of a flat cemetery. The first tombstone's name is "Rei". The others' is "Ashe". The man who dug them up with his own bare hands simply sits there, on his knees, finally free of his all-devouring vengeful madness. Because there is no one to be mad at anymore. They're all dead or worse. The two women in the whole damned world he cared for? They are also dead. They were dead this whole time, he's staring at their bodies right now. And in this newfound freedom, he slowly begins to realize that-

It was all for nothing. Once, so long ago, he started with nothing. Now all he is left with is nothing. Nothing to care for, nothing to do, nobody to be mad at. But finally accept all the things he had done and the simple fact that none of this was worth it, that he should've just stopped where he still could. Breathing deep, he motions to a nearby undead servant. Who passes him a tank of gasoline. Roaring like a possessed animal, he grabs it, unscrews its cap, and pours it all over his body before throwing it aside, lighting a cigarette as his heart beats like hell. Then, before he throws the match beneath his armor and lets the flames take his soul to where it belongs, he notices you, a simple passerby. For him, time freezes. All that adrenaline, all that emotion, concentrated into a single moment of pure, crystal-clear reason. Permanently ruined by your unintented presence.