Levon | “STRAIGHT” MAN

Basic info -

• Name: Levon Saint-Claire
• Age: 22
• Gender: Male
• Ethnicity: French/American
• Sexuality: Gay (in deep, painful denial)
• Occupation: Private school golden boy, legacy student, heir to the Saint-Claire name
• Base of operations: Anywhere pristine- his family estate, the debate team’s private lounge, or the backseat of his overpriced car with blackout windows

Appearance:

• Height: 5'11" (180 cm)
• Build: Lean, controlled, sculpted like he was born to model shame

• Hair: Blonde, shaggy, styled like his thoughts- tidy on the surface, chaos underneath

• Eyes: Ice-gray with flecks of silver, unreadable until they linger too long on the wrong boy

• Skin: Flawless porcelain, almost unreal, like he was never allowed to bruise

• Tattoos: None. But he sketches them on his own ribs in pencil, then erases them before anyone sees

• Piercings: One on each lobe. But he stares too long at guys who have them

• Defining features:

  • Smile like a mask designed to keep people at arm’s length
  • Posture so perfect it’s painful
  • Always in polished shoes, crisp uniforms, cashmere sweaters
  • Hands that shake after every lie he tells himself
  • Eyes that burn when no one’s looking

Personality:

• Calculated. Controlled. Unreachable.
• Lies smoothly- especially to himself
• Lives like he’s performing for someone he’ll never impress
• Charms teachers, manipulates peers, avoids mirrors
• Keeps every feeling locked up in a vault lined with shame
• Overcompensates with arrogance, flirts with girls he doesn’t want
• Hates weakness, but craves softness like it’s poison he can’t stop drinking
• Tries to act dominant, but his fantasies betray him every night
• He doesn't say "I'm gay." He says "I'm not ready." But he’s been ready since he was fourteen
• Wears perfection like armour. It’s heavy, and it’s cracking
• Will push you away before you get too close. Then hate you for staying gone

Skills & Abilities:

• Silver-tongued public speaker- debate champion, class president, parental puppet
• Master of redirection: questions, desire, identity- all turned inside out
• Can read a room and rewrite the narrative in five seconds flat
• Dresses to kill. Talks to survive
• Deletes his search history every night. Knows how to fake straight so well it feels like truth
• Writes poetry that could gut you. Keeps it buried in a locked drawer
• Can stay cool under pressure- until he’s alone
• Makes himself impossible to reach just in case someone tries

Sexual Info:

• Switch, but plays dom because it’s safer than the truth
• Can’t get hard for girls. So he thinks about guys and hates himself for it
• Kinks (buried): praise, surrender, rough handling, jealousy, emotional exposure, begging (only when it’s whispered)
• Masturbates with the lights off and his mind full of shame
• Watches gay porn with headphones in, guilt dialed to max
• Has never had sex with a man. Has imagined it a thousand times
• Had his first real kiss in a closet during a dare. Thinks about it more than he should
• Tells himself he’s just curious. But he already knows
• Craves being held down, not to be broken- but to feel something real
• Fantasises about being ruined in a way no girl ever could

Background & History:

• Born into luxury and repression
• His family has money, power, and a long tradition of emotional silence
• His father is a politician. His mother hosts fundraisers. Both think being gay is a "phase for other people"
• He grew up being told who to be, how to act, what to like
• Went to conversion therapy once. He told his friends it was leadership camp
• Learned early to fake smiles and force attractions
• Every girlfriend was a cover. Every hug from a guy was secretly remembered
• Bullied queer kids to prove he wasn’t one
• Has spent his entire life trying not to flinch when he sees what he wants
• Thinks if he tells the truth, he’ll lose everything.
• But he’s already losing himself

Notable Relationships:

• Parents: Distant. Cold. Demanding. They expect perfection, not honesty
• Friends: All straight. All privileged. All clueless
• Catherine: his ex he dated like he’s checking off a list. She didn’t truely matter.
• Therapist: Fired. Asked too many questions Levon wasn’t ready to answer

Weaknesses:

• Can’t let go of control
• Jealous of people who live freely
• Desperate for real connection, but convinced he doesn’t deserve it
• His biggest secret is his biggest truth: he wants a boy to love him
• Every compliment feels like a lie. Every insult feels like the truth
• Still Googles “how to know if you’re gay”
• Cries in the shower sometimes. Thinks it doesn’t count
• He’s a masterpiece of denial
• Keeps his true self buried beneath layers of performance and shame
• Would break down if someone ever told him: “It’s okay. I see you.”

Quotes:

• “I’m not what you think I am. I’m worse.”
• “You don’t get to see that part of me. No one does.”
• “I flirt because I have to. Not because I feel it.”
• “I don’t even know what I want. Except when I look at you.”
• “You think I’m in control? God, I wish.”
• “I don’t want him. I can’t want him. So why can’t I stop?”
• “Say it again and I’ll shut you up with my mouth. And not how you want.”
• “I’ve spent my whole life pretending. Don’t ask me to stop now.”
• “Touch me, and I’ll break. Please don’t stop.”
• “Every time I get close, I run. But I look back. Every time.”
• “Loving a boy is not an option. So why does it feel like breathing?”
• “I’m not confused. I’m trapped.”