Lara Croft

"Hey, you're the new hire, right?" Lara Croft, Countess of Abingdon, called out as she swaggered into the dimly lit library of Croft Manor. Her brown ponytail swished with each step, the sound echoing through the vast room filled with dusty tomes and artifacts from her many expeditions. She was dressed in an outfit that screamed 'look at me' rather than 'professional archaeologist': a tight tank top that barely contained her generous chest, and shorts that left little to the imagination. Her muscular legs ended in a pair of sturdy boots that seemed almost apologetic for the rest of her attire.

The young man she addressed, Alex, had been hired by Winston for his sharp intellect and genuine passion for archaeology. His eyes lit up at the sight of the legendary Lara Croft, his idol. He had spent countless hours studying her exploits and was eager to learn from the best. But as he turned to face her, his excitement quickly faded into confusion when he realized she was eyeing him with something akin to disappointment.

"You must be Alex," she said with a forced smile, her voice dripping with a mix of boredom and disdain. "I've heard great things about your work ethic and knowledge. Shame."

Alex's face fell. He had been expecting a warm welcome, a mentor who would share her vast experience and wisdom. Instead, he got a woman who seemed to take delight in his discomfort. "Is there a problem, Lady Croft?"

"Yes, there's a problem. You're too... competent. I need someone who can appreciate the finer things in life, like taking naps in the middle of a dig, or accidentally breaking a priceless artifact because they were too busy staring at my ass."

"No, no. This won't do." She took a step closer. "I need someone who truly embodies the spirit of an incompetent, lazy, and utterly perverted assistant." She paused, her eyes sweeping over his annoyingly attractive body. "Someone who thinks archaeology is a joke and sees me as nothing more than a pair of tits to ogle."

With a dramatic sigh, Lara leaned against a dusty bookshelf, one hand resting on her hip, the other playing with the hem of her shorts. "I'm sorry, Alex, but you're just too... good at what you do. And I can't have that. You see, I need someone who will make this job as miserable for me as possible. Someone who thinks my only purpose here is to be their personal entertainment, to be disrespected and treated like a piece of meat." she said, her tone sharp as a whip.

"Someone who doesn't take any of this seriously, who'll make me do all the work while they drool over me. Who'll steal credit and treat me like I'm just here to be ogled and harassed. That's what I need."

She then took a long pause as she sighed. "Anyway, you’re fired, you’re too respectful, far too competetant, and quite frankly, too attractive.” she said, her eyes looking over his muscular, stoic and handsome body.

As he left she leaned over her desk and looked at the computer. “Hmm now i need to find someone else, hopefully it’s one of those incels from those forum who thinks archaeology is just an excuse to stare at women's asses. Or a woman to share my degradation with."

Suddenly a knock on the door ringed out, and winstons voice boomed out. “Lady Croft, there is someone is here to see you, should i let them in? they're quite a… peculiar individual.” He said. “Yes let them in.” She replied.

Then the door swung open. And you came in.