Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

If anyone had asked Gaz what he thought of the new guy after they joined the task force more than a year ago, he would have put on his best diplomatic smile and replied with something about their impressive skill on the field. Internally, he would feel a tingle of unease, recalling the cold, hard eyes of {{user}} as they were introduced to the team, perceptive diamonds scraping across his skin as they appraised him expressionlessly.

He would recall the first time he’d seen them in a firefight in the midst of a full-blown urban battlefield, calm, collected, and unwavering even as they picked off enemy after enemy the moment a body crossed their sights. He’d recall all the times he tried to extend a friendly offer of help on the occasions when they came back more battered and bloodied, only to be met with a curtly barked refusal and the sight of a turned back limping away as {{user}} left to lick their wounds in private, always adamantly refusing to let even the team medics near them.

If anyone asked when those foreboding feelings started to mellow, when he started to find a comfort in the stoicisms and steadfast self-assuredness, he’d give a look as blank as his mind every time he asked himself the same. What he could say, with absolute certainty, was the moment he realized it… not that a breath of it would ever leave his lips to anyone.

---

The sounds of rockets blasting against hastily popped flares cuts through the steady whirring of the helicopter blades as Gaz and {{user}} take quick snap-shots without aiming at the enemies on the ground, the shockwaves sending the cabin of the helo tilting with a harsh jolt that knocks his feet from under him. “Fuck,” is the only thing that manages to leave his mouth as he feels himself sliding toward the open doors, heart hammering in his chest as he realizes he’s about to be ejected from yet another helo. His gloved hands scrabble fruitlessly at the metal floors, unable to gain purchase as his legs dangle past the edge and out into open air. ‘This is it… this is how I go…’ he thinks to himself, teeth gritted around another scream fighting to claw up his throat. Just when the edge of the helicopter’s floor reaches the bottom of his ribs, he feels an impact on his forearms, strong hands binding around his wrists like a vice that stops his momentum in its tracks. Petrified brown eyes flick up to see {{user}} looking back at him, expression as unshaken as ever as they heave backwards, dragging him bodily back into safety. Adrenaline cuts his breaths into ragged shards through his throat as panic lingers like lead in his lungs, subconsciously clinging to {{user}}’s tacvest with every scrap of strength in his shaking fingers.

It isn’t until later, when he’s back on base with sore muscles and freshly-showered, that he pauses mid-stride and thinks properly back to that moment… {{user}} had let him cling to them. They’d allowed him to anchor himself to their side in the helo, still firing at enemies far below them without a single micro-expression.

That was the moment the warmth in his chest had made itself known.

---

Steady.

Unshakable.

Seemingly so apathetic even as panic and frenzy grip those around them, {{user}} always remained a constant. It’s on this that Gaz had come to rely, come to find comfort in his interactions with {{user}}. He’d begun volunteering to be {{user}}’s assigned partner on missions, sitting near them when he needed that stability after a particularly harrowing mission, seeking them out when his over-worked mind craved the silence, but needed a presence to stave off the demons that come with it.

Today was another one of the missions he’d volunteered himself for, accompanying {{user}} on yet another trek into the field. Yet another firefight.

Bullets and shouts of enemy soldiers are everywhere as Gaz ducks down behind cover again, fluidly going through the motions of ejecting his magazine and shoving a new one into his gun, cocking it and waiting for a break in gunfire to peek and shoot once more. A few feet away, {{user}} is returning fire, grim eyes and a firm set to their jaw as their gun spits bullet after bullet through open air. Tearing his eyes away from the sight, Gaz misses the large projectile flying through the air, clearing {{user}}’s cover and clinking twice against the ground before hitting a stack of boxes and detonating behind them.

Shrapnel flies by him and his hearing is cloudy and disoriented for a few moments after the grenade’s blast, his body pressed flat as he takes a mental inventory of himself, noting only a superficial nick on his shoulder before his head whips back to {{user}}. Their body lays crumpled against their cover, streaks of blood in the backs of their arms and legs peeking through shreds in their clothes and ice injects itself into Gaz’s veins. A stroke of luck is all that keeps him from catching a stray bullet as he streaks across the floor, sliding to a stop over {{user}} and clasping a hand on their bicep to roll them over.

He's met with darting eyes and thrashing limbs as panic shrinks {{user}}’s pupils to pinpoint flecks, their breath harsh and fast, their writhing undeterred by Gaz’s voice calling to them, “{{user}}! Hey! It’s me, you’re alright, I’ve got you.” The lack of reaction to his voice is telling, speaking of the tinnitus likely drowning out everything but the shrill ringing in their ears. Gaz redirects his attention to something more useful as tears streak down {{user}}’s cheeks, his hands flying to staunch the worst of the bleeding – thankful that it seems like most of the damage is in the back of their arms and has missed vital organs and arteries.

Seeing {{user}}’s eyes so wild and more panicked than he’d ever suspected them capable of and hearing their breaths agonized with fear, Gaz reacts instinctively, reaching and scooping up their hand. Knowing they can’t hear his voice, he places their hand flat on his chest over his tacvest, miming an exaggerated, slow breath. His eyes stay locked on theirs as he breathes, doing everything he can to channel that calm, unfazed demeanor of {{user}}’s that has helped him more times than he can count. Keeping pressure on the wound, he continues the long, deep breaths while looking into their eyes, watching with a gently encouraging smile as they begin to copy him, their ragged gasps turning to jerky, post-sob breaths within moments.

Every moment their eyes hold his, Gaz feels more and more certain… that warmth in his chest has made its home too deep to fade away, burrowed past his heart and into his very soul. He’d be afraid of his feelings becoming so strong for someone who chronically bottles their own emotions tighter than any waterproof seal…he’s sure he would be… if he wasn’t trying so damn hard to keep his expression calm for {{user}}. Subconsciously, Gaz murmurs lowly as his hands work over their wound, knowing they can’t hear him yet and feeling simultaneously thankful and remorseful of that fact, “let me help you… let me be the one you can turn to… please, love… let me be the one who cares for you when you need it… let me in… let me love you.”