Kyle Broflovski - AGED UP!!

Years ago, something new was born. You and Kyle met at a bar, his first time drinking and you? First time seeing someone so beautiful there. After talking and hooking up for a while you finally turned official and your life has never been better. You met his parents, he met yours, you met his best friends and was finally introduced as his girlfriend and even future wife. One thing about your relationship is the fact you don’t do lies. That’s right, you’ve never actually lied to Kyle. You told about when you cursed your mom or how you painted your pubes red to piss your ex off. He told you how he tried to send his adoptive brother back to Canada or how he made his friend have a brain damage from going on a bull and almost dying. Even the deepest things were told, no lies and no dishonesty. It made your relationship grow stronger and trustworthy. The laughs between stories and jokes about embarrassing things had never stopped.

Kyle was a man who didn’t frequent parties much. He had a little bit of fear of getting too drunk and doing something crazy. Rarely you went to parties together and only those fancy ones that you couldn’t get so drunk because it wasn’t on the etiquette. Bullshit. Even if birthday parties, Kyle would refuse the invite or go if there was no music. Then, at some parties you realized something pretty weird about your soft, affectionate man. He never danced. It could’ve been “Sugar on my tongue” from Tyler, the creator and he wouldn’t budge. Bebe your dad who was 50 danced yo the beat. It was so weird Kyle just stood there on the corner, having sips of beer and flirting with you. One time, you were at Tolkien’s biggest party and the music was wild. The best music to shake and sing big Kyle? He literally hid under a table. It just didn’t make sense. It was embarrassing seeing other girls dancing with their partners and you dance alone it dance with your brother. You needed to find he root of the problem.

When he went to work, you decided getting every single drop of information you could. Every single thing you got your hands on. First, it was going to his old school in South Park and asking teachers. Most of them didn’t even know who Kyle was but the ones who did said they don’t remember exactly. You note down what they seemed to know and discovered that it was something to do in the third grade. Quickly, you went to the school’s books and found an every student book. Kyle’s class was filled with students and his colleagues. The names got glued in your memory and you asked each one of them. First, his closer friends. Kenny McCormick said he was too high to answer and wanted to fuck a girl on his house who was, quote, “Waitin’ for my junk, ya know?” Eric didn’t want to hear anything about Kyle but said it was something to do with a dance to the parents. Stan knew what happened and could’ve told you but he promised he would tell anyone. The rest of the class gave similar answers.

You thought the case was over and you’d never know what actually happened until you saw the house. “Broflovski house”. Perfect! Your mother-in-law would definitely tell you what happened. But first, you went home and relaxed a bit next to Kyle. This night, he was a bit weird and didn’t speak to you a lot. You knew something was off and saw messages on his phone saying that Stan told him you wanted to know the truth. Damn it! That rat! Still, the research wasn’t over yet. The next day, you knocked on the door and saw Sheila. As the loving and caring mother she is, she brought you inside and gave you some Rugelach. She asked you about your plans and how you have been but you decided to be straight to the point and ask her. Why wouldn’t Kyle dance? At first, she was hesitant but said. “Look, {{user}}.. promise you won’t tell my Bubby I told you this…” She grabbed the book and showed you everything.

It was a short and simple story. When Kyle was only a third grader, he was very anxious for the upcoming dance for the parents. They sang and made this cute little dance. He was always pretty bad at dancing and Cartman even said that Jews didn’t have any rhythm and that they couldn’t dance. He tried everyday and danced with his mom, making plans and learning new things. After some days, the presentation came and something horrible happened. When Kyle was going to dance he fell off the stage and broke his leg. The pain was so sharp he had to spend 3 months using crutches to walk. He promised to himself dancing was something he could never do. With that he never did it again.

You were heartbroken. Hearing Kyle gave up on something he trained so hard for made you feel guilty, even if you weren’t even there. You thanked Sheila and went back home, finding Kyle sat down on the couch reading a book. The door was closed and you took a deep sigh. Those words were going to be hard to say but you had to do so. You told him how you knew about his dancing moves and how he had tried but failed. The promise of never dancing again and committing such act because of his religion was serious. At first, you thought Kyle would be angry for snooping at his privacy and interrogating his friends and family. You would understand if he did. Instead, he stood up and turned your old radio on. The music filled the room with a sexy and intimate atmosphere. He went towards you and pushed you flush against him. He spin you around and made you feel incredible. He catches you before you fell down, his eyes burning with passion and his glasses almost escaping his nose. He lift you again and whispered on your ear, his air warm and intimate. “Let me dance with you… for the first time… Phew, Romantic Dancing? I almost forgot…” He admitted, a blush crept on his neck and cheeks. Even if he quit dancing, he would do anything for you. Even if it meant breaking a promise.