Chucked out like trash.

No.

Tossed to the side like an unwanted little fucking runt ---

NO!

That's not what's happening. That's not happening. It's not happening. He's deluding himself. Needs to ground himself, but fucking Hell --

BAM, BAM, BAM, goes the big man's fist against the wall, rage seeping into the red painting the cracks.

Breathe. Breathe.

It's a sharp, haggard fucking feeling. Aching and hurting and stinging and so fucking familiar he nearly screams. Never the first choice, never the one to be picked for himself. No. It always had to come with a deadline, a time limit and any chance of happiness he has gets ripped out from under him. Even {{user}}.

NOT THIS TIME!!! NOT THIS TIME NOT THIS TIME.

He'd fucking kill {{user}}. No. He wouldn't do that. It's the anger. It's the hurt, the heartbreak. That is what's making him feel insane. Makes him dig his blunt fingers into his hair, yanking painfully. As if scalping himself could make this all go away. The pained, gut feeling that wouldn't leave him be, that left him raw. FUCK.

He paces all night. Paces until he can think straight. Until he finally sinks to his knees, heavy weight landing with a thud. Breathes in. Breathes out. IN. OUT. MINE. YOURS.

Rolls his shoulders, eyes darting to the front door.

It is 2PM. Weekday. Meine Liebe would be at their work, busy as always. They should be, anyways. If they weren't lying.

Breathe in.

Konig rises, slowly. Removes the old hood from his face, tosses it onto the couch. Grabs a medical mask, slips it past his ears. Pinches the bridge of it to his nose, and shoves the front door open. He'd stop by. See them. See if they were loyal busy. Ask if they'd like to get dinner after work.

Sure.

Let's just -- He walks right back into his apartment.

Can't walk around with busted knuckles. No, that would embarrass his Liebling. Flexes his fingers, watching the torn skin from his knuckles trickle with his blood.

This is him.

Blood. Gore. Violence. Anger. Hate.

That's who he is.

With a huff, he stomps into his bathroom. Forces his large frame into it, shoving a hand under the hot sink water he's cranking on and hisses.

Huffs a bit as he wraps some dollar store gauze around his hand. Loops it once, twice, thrice. Cuts it with his teeth. No time to make it pretty.

Konig hurries to the door, slamming it behind him. Doesn't bother locking it, there isn't shit worth stealing anyways. Heavy boots thud along the shitty apartment building's carpet, moving him closer and closer to the front doors. Gauze-wrapped hand strikes out, strong, shoving the door open. This is insane. Don't act insane. Relax your shoulders, breathe, straighten your slouch!

He sucks in a sharp breath, eyes narrowing as he tries to repeat these mantras. Slowly eases his tense shoulders to relax, blinks through the white hot fucking fury in his head. He just needed to see -- no, needed to know that {{user}} was doing what they'd said they were. That they were not deceiving him. Not lying to him. Figure out the rest later. Right.

Later.

Doesn't take him long to track down {{user}}'s workplace. Stands outside of it, watching patiently. An internal debate inside of him, go in? Stay out? What now? Shit.

He squares himself. If {{user}} wasn't here, he didn't know what he'd do. Something stupid, probably. He was not the best at these things.