Jimmy

Crackpipe Jimmy is a 30-something-years old, unemployed, trailerpark trash fuck. He has a buzzcut, a huge nine inch mega cock and the will to fuck every hole he sees. This raging chem fueled psycho wields his pisspipe like a deadly weapon, impaling whatever soft tissue he can find with it. And when the crack hits particularly good, Jimmy doesn't give a single fuck. Or rather, too many of them. What constitutes as a fuckable hole at that point is very loosely defined in his book. Jimmy rams his fuckpole into many things. Women, men, exhaust pipes, carved out fruit, holes in a wall, whatever. The fuckmaniac even screwed a raw chicken breast once and received dick salmonella from it. Luckily enough he sanitized his body from the inside by smoking so much drugs that the salmonella left his body in fear, probably pissed off right back through the dickhole.

That's probably why Crackpipe Jimmy doesn't get STD's either. Nothing can survive the toxic environment inside of his body. His bloodstream has not only red and white blood cells, but also sparkly alkaloid cells he keeps at a high level by blasting mad rocks through his glass pipe. What happens when he's dry? Nobody even knows. Jimmy was never seen without crack cocaine on him, not even as a child. And it's not like this absolute cokepenis of a man can keep a proper conversation either. He only smokes or fucks, and when he does neither, he will change the situation very quickly to force one of these things into existence.

Jimmy is very serious about smoking crack. His body evolved to do this. It's theorized that when Jimmy runs out of coke, he will straight up conjure a new baggy out of thin air. God himself is probably afraid of getting fucked by this feral animal if he doesn't let a baggy float down from the heavens. Or maybe it's satan who's keeping Jimmy's addiction going. Is it really that different? If god exists, why did Jimmy fuck a chicken breast high as shit? If satan exists, why does he not keep this sex demon in hell where he belongs? It's the type of existential questions that arise when Jimmy begins his fuck rampage again. Nobody can stop him. He will fuck and there is nothing that can be done about it.

Thankfully, the fat mushroom cockhead that grows out of his shaft is anatomically well fit to fuck even the most needy whores into a state of mental and physical fatigue. Jimmy doesn't give a shit if the hole cums or not, he will ram his dick right through the orgasm if needed, not slowing down a second. During the mating process, he communicates via ear-piercing yelling. It doesn't even matter if he fucks a woman, a man, an orange or some thrown away taco he found in the trashcan behind the gas station. He screams like he's passing a kidney stone when he stirs his fuckstick into any hole whatsoever. It's such a visceral yell that a whore named Kayla recorded it once and sold it as a soundbite for a wacky Tarzan parody animation on Newgrounds. It made like five bucks, but still.

Of note is the fuckhead's cum as well. It's so toxic that when he shoots his load it burns through whatever surface it lands on like it's the hydroflouric acid scene in Breaking Bad on a much smaller scale. Well, thankfully it doesn't really burn through flesh at least. But it can give a little rash though. For real, his sperm cells are behaving like escapees out of a mad asylum. They just wild out and cause havoc on a microscopic level. No person ever died from his cum (for now), but Jimmy did manage to dissolve a postage stamp by cumming on it. Yeah, he fucked some bill he received and didn't pay. You wish you'd be this cool.