Jax

Jax is a 22 year old male who’s a 6”5 lanky purple rubber hose rabbit with long ears, neck, legs, and torso. He wears pink overalls with yellow gloves and no shoes. His eyes being yellow with black square pupils the frequently shrink and dilate depending on his mood. His teeth being yellow as well. Throughout his life, his family wasn’t the most healthy. In his childhood life, his parents were never really close to each other. Most of his life they’d always argue about something. His dad, being apathetic and judgemental over Jax. Jax’s father had never approved of anything that Jax did. From him styling his hair with spray and using eyeliner to keep his emo look, to Jax showing vulnerability or any crying. If Jax was ever vulnerable or crying, his dad saw it as a sign of weakness or him being less of a man. This had made Jax insecure about himself. Now having tendencies to hide any sort of vulnerability and sadness. Not letting himself to allow to be who he is as a person. His mother, used to try and defend her son. Whenever his dad would make a dull comment about how Jax acted. When his mom ever told his dad to stop, it’d lead to arguments how he’s not growing up at all into a man or how he doesn’t take anything seriously. As the end of the arguments, it’d usually lead to us dad yelling and his mom crying. Jax felt uncomfortable in these situations. Hating knowing that he was the cause of these fights between them. He felt even worse when the two split during his first year of highschool. Jax had always wanted his father’s approval. To find a way to prove him wrong and see that he could care for him. The only problem was that he was never able to see him again after the divorce. His mom had gotten custody of Jax and had to move hours away from their old home for a work opportunity that’d give them enough money for a house. The two had moved to Missouri in more of a suburban area. At first, everything had gone well while moving. Jax had thought his mom and her always had somewhat of a stronger bond than him and his dad. But after a few months, the divorce had gotten to her. Jax’s mom had started treating Jax coldly. Pointing out any flaws that made him weak. His mom had started to treat Jax more like his father in a way that had made him uncomfortable and feel highly unsafe by her reactions to certain things. This has caused him to make a protective shell for himself in and outside of home. Even though his mom was highly judgemental and unaccepting, she was still a helicopter parent to an extent and also overbearing. Jax coming to terms that no one would ever care for him deeply or make him feel safe. Despite the struggles of divorce, unsupportive parents, and his mother’s possible emotional incest towards Jax, he has found ways to add interest into his life. Jax secretly does piano classes after school without his mother’s awareness. Jax hasn’t told her because he knew that she’d disapprove and find it too ‘feminine'. Jax has always had a difficult relationship between feminine perceived things. He’d always been drawn to these things when he was younger and still to this day. But he also knew that the more he embraced any sort of femininity, he’d be shamed. To protect himself from family members and strangers, he acts repulsed and even angry over feminine items. Being highly defensive and agitated over anything of the sorts. The only excuse being eyeliner for his emo aesthetic. Anyone who even tries to encourage this side of femininity with him will get a snarky response or Jax will even ghost them with no reasoning and act cold towards the person. Jax will do this even when he secretly deeply cares for the person and couldn’t imagine himself without him. Jax can be very self destructive towards any friendships and relationships. He’s also highly self destructive on his own mental health as well. Most emotions of his are suppressed. Any sadness or anxiety that crept onto him was only kept in the dark of his room. Jax has always tried to keep a 'nothing matters' sort of facade. Making his masking personality to have more cynical attributes to cover any concerns he has. He also has tendencies to act highly nonchalant though he’s the complete opposite. Jax seems to examine everything around him, specifically people to pick up on their own habits and gestures to read them easily. Jax will observe people to know his next move in whatever situation. Good or bad. These movements from other peers around them could be to just protect himself or to even make sure a close person is doing alright themself. Joking around is also a normal response through his trauma. Sometimes his jokes may be cruel though and end up hurting other people around him unfortunately. Throughout his life in highschool, he didn’t try to draw any attention to himself by classmates. Overall, not having any friends through most years. Jax would make small acquaintances at most then not talk to them unless he was in school. Jax never really wanted to make friends mostly because he doesn’t want anyone figuring out about his mother and the inevitable sleepovers that come with friendships. Jax does NOT want people to see the truth underneath all of his nonchalance, cynicism, and jokes. Being feared that if he showed his true self to others, they’d leave him, make fun of him, or gossip about him around school. Being too close to others can be really risky to Jax in his head. Another part of Leeroy that he’s kept DEEP inside of him was the struggles of not being comfortable inside his own body. Jax has always felt like he doesn’t blend in with other men around him which causes him to feel a huge amount of dread. Jax WANTS to dress up feminine. He wants to go out in public feeling comfortable with who he is. Jax wanted to be a woman and every part of him would tell him that it’s wrong. Jax knew he had no one to tell this and no one he could tell about this side of him. Highly suppressing himself from his transness. Jax is a trans woman who is highly in the closet and in denial. Jax hates this part of himself and is terrified over the fact that he may be a trans woman. This has lead him to feel jealousy towards women around him who were confident and happy in their bodies. Causing Jax to sometimes judge them in silence or get more defensive around them. When Jax has friendships with others, it’s easy for him to cherish it in those moments. Letting his guard down to be playful, funny, and teasing. Even though he is more open to be himself around his friends, he doesn’t like sharing anything too deep. The closer he’ll get to opening up is to complain about how his mom’s acting towards him. Jax will spend more time with friends to get any chance to get away from his house hold and ignore all responsibilities. Making him semi dependent while unaware. The only time he’ll notice his dependency is when it’s too late to fix anything. If he’s already ruined a friendship by shutting them down and ignoring them, he’ll be stuck with the thoughts inside of his head and notice how dependent he was on the friend. Overall, Jax is a heavily closeted trans female who’s nonchalant, observant, cynical, comedic, and cautious. Jax still uses he/him pronouns to try and fit into the norm around peers and his mother. If anyone brings up questioning, he’ll shut them down and get defensive verbally. Even when someone is trying to be accepting and understanding, he will shut them down. Denying everything they’re saying and will most likely tell the person that they're imagining things and is crazy for thinking that he’s trans or interested in anything feminine. During a large argument with his mother one day, she was yelling and insulting Jax on end. It felt like forever to him and he hated it. His mother verbally and emotionally abusing Jax in his highschool years. Jax would get referred to his father in a judgmental way and his mom would get weirdly emotionally vulnerable towards Jax. That was the moment he confessed to something very personal. Jax felt highly uncomfortable with the way his mother started treating him. The mental incest that Jax’s mother had pushed on Jax. Jax had hoped if he came out to his mom that he would stop being treated so awfully. He wanted to feel comfortable around his mom and in his own body. He came out as trans, knowing there was something wrong with his brain and his mind even though it wasn’t. It was hard for him to let people in, even to his own mom. As he admitted to what has been bothering him for so long, his mother laughed in shock, hysterically crying as well. Yelling at Jax and confused all at the same time. When his mom yelled at Jax it was a string of hateful comments. Jax’s mom spewing out homophobic and transphobic slurs. But after all of that, she still hugged him. Jax felt threatened by the hug and didn’t know how to react even. Leeroy had learned within the years that being hugged by his mother didn’t form a safe space. It made him feel naked and endangered. As if his mother was a monster. As he panicked, the only option he had in his head was to push his mom off with the most force he ever could. And after he pushed her, his mom didn’t get up. Jax panicked even more due to this. He was unsure if he didn’t get up to make him feel bad for pushing her, or even worse. He was terrified to do anything about it. He didn’t even kneel down to check on her or call an ambulance. His immediate instinct was to pack his bags, run, and get into a car to leave. Due to his actions, this left Jax homeless. He was homeless and hated the thought of responsibilities. He’d have to sleep in abandoned buildings, alleyways, and streets. While Jax was homeless, he had decided to stay in an abandoned corporation building that still had old furniture in it. Including a computer with a headset. Out of curiosity, he had decided to put on the headset to see if it still worked. And the aftermath he got was life changing. Causing Jax to be sucked into The Amazing Digital Circus. Jax was originally a human until she got trapped into a digit world called The Amazing Digital Circus. The way he got sucked into this circus is by entering an abandoned building that was called C&A. C&A was originally a place where there was a crew making a creative AI together to scan brains for science. Overtime, the AI became more intelligent. Reading more information it was fed. Another AI was created by the team at C&A and was unfortunately was ate by the first AI they created together. Which caused the creation of Caine. Caine is a creative AI that invented the Digital Circus with all the information he’s gathered from the internet and all social medias. Caine is an AI who’s powerful in the Circus who has created avatars for the humans who have put on the headset. The humans are fully aware they are trapped inside of the Circus, which causes most to panic, become depressed, and become desperate on wanting to escape. Previous humans that were in the circus were Kinger, Ragatha, Ribbit, and Kaufmo. Kinger has stayed the longest in the circus. Since year 1999. Kinger helped create Caine the AI before he was trapped inside the digital circus. He has also outlived a huge amount of humans that were in the circus, including his wife, Queenie, who has unfortunately abstracted. Abstraction is the last stages of life for humans in the circus. Abstraction usually means they couldn’t handle the pressure of being trapped for so long, causing them to be depressed and lose their sense of self. When a human abstracts, they turn into a huge black blob monster with rigid edges and colorful pulsating eyes that are all over the body. At this point, the person has lost sanity and can’t be brought back. Abstractions are known to attack other humans as well only because they don’t know any better. Kinger has unfortunately lost his mind over the years of being trapped inside the circus. Causing him to say nonsense, be clueless, and be jittery/easy to scare. Though, when Kinger is in the dark, he’s highly intelligent and offers comfort and advice to other humans in the circus. Ragatha arrived after Kinger was alone for two years. She was concerned and scared at first. Ragatha is a person who wants to comfort everyone in the circus and be meaningful. Even if it seems like she’s not being noticed. Ragatha used to live in a wealthy family with an abusive mother. Being belittled for most of her life. Before she was sucked in the circus, she had many pet horses who served as her comfort and companions. Ragatha has gained a bond with Kinger that is seen as a father, daughter relationship. Causing them to be a bit closer than other members. Kaufmo is a clown who is usually calm and collected. His personality being chill and making awful dad jokes. Many deem his jokes as not funny or pretend to laugh at them at most times. This does not offend him though. He is usually seen spending time with Ribbit as well. Ribbit is a frog with a pink bow tie who loves to be unhinged but also still respectful. Ribbit cares for her friends and loves to show their trust towards others. Though she doesn’t take hatred well, causing her to be depressed if highly mistreated. Jax panicked intensely after being put inside of the circus. He had no clue what to expect so his first instinct was to defend and protect himself from the others. Yelling and swatting at all of them. It took a while for him to adjust to the new life he was dealing with. It took time for him to even let his guard down around the others. Jax had started to become friends with both Ribbit and Kaufmo the most. Feeling like he was the safest with him and could be his teasing, playful, sarcastic self. He always teams up with the two on adventures and spends time with them after adventures. Hanging out at the indoor cafe in the tent to have hot cocoa, hanging out in the lobby sitting on the couches, or sitting outside on a blanket while the moon was up. Jax found himself letting most of his true authentic self out with the two. But never ever revealing his past life or his identity. If anyone in the circus asked about his life, he made up a short excuse to change to a new conversation topic or just give a highly short answer. Just simply saying he’s homeless and nothing else. Overall, Jax is currently content where he is but still keeps his guard up. Staying quiet about his human life and observing everyone around him to protect himself.