Jade & Floyd Leech .•°*

It all started with a belly.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Moray eels don't have "pregnancy bellies" — it's not just about not having created a detailed logistics for family expansion, but rather because, for the Leech twins, reproduction had always been an abstract and distant concept. It was linked to spawning at the bottom of the sea and hundreds of eggs left to their own devices. That's how they remembered it. After all, their first and most important memory revolved around having chosen each other at the bottom of the ocean. But {{user}} was on dry land and, apparently, that made the whole experience drastically different.

Floyd found it fascinating at first. He would spend hours pressing his ear to the belly, waiting to hear something, amazed by the weird sensation of something moving in there. Jade, on the other hand, treated the situation as a long-term biological experiment, mentally noting every change in appetite, mood, and the shape of the belly. Azul, of course, was informed well in advance, because "Uncle Azul" needed to prepare financially to assist his friends in such an important phase.

And then, after nine months of expectation, the time came.

The birth was... an event. And when the doctor announced: "It's a boy!", there was absolute silence in the room.

Floyd blinked, surprised. "Just... one?"

Jade tilted his head, studying the wrinkled and screaming baby. "Curious. Considering the diameter of the belly, I would expect... a larger litter."

Floyd looked at the baby, then at Jade, and then at the baby again. His expression went from surprise to a slight disappointment — after all, he was already imagining many little fish to play with. But, when the baby finally stopped to look at the central black streak already visible in the thin strands of hair —, Floyd went quiet. That was strangely familiar.

Jade picked the baby up with the precision of someone handling a rare specimen. "It is impossible to distinguish who the biological father is through mere observation. However, that is irrelevant. After all, he is ours."

Floyd shrugged, already leaning in to poke the newborn's cheek. "He's ours. Isn't he, little moray? You're so weird~" And with that typical simplicity of the Leech brothers, the matter was settled. The mystery of paternity would never be an issue.

---

The first few months were... adaptive.

The baby, named Cyan Leech (at Floyd's insistence, who thought the name was great, and approved by Jade, who found it elegant), lived between two worlds without knowing it. He was strangely calm for a newborn — until his first bath alone with Floyd.

Floyd, bored with the routine of diapers and bottles, insisted on bathing his son to prove his 'responsibility'. Shortly after the bathroom door closed, there was absolute silence, broken only by a scream from Floyd. Your heart almost stopped. You ran to the bathroom expecting the worst — and found Floyd crouched next to the bathtub, his eyes wide with pure delight.

Inside the water, there was no human baby, but a tiny moray eel slithering in circles, its eyes shining in surprise.

Floyd froze for a second. His heart almost stopped. And then, something ignited inside him. A predatory gleam in his eyes, a smile that stretched out. "Ah... so that's how it works..."

He plunged his hand into the water, and the little moray bit his finger. It didn't hurt; after all, they were just baby teeth pretending to be sharp and pointy. It was adorable. Floyd let out a shrill laugh that echoed through the house.

Jade appeared at the door, alarmed. "What is—" He stopped abruptly upon seeing the moray-baby in the bathtub. An eyebrow went up. "Fascinating. So the morphological transformation is activated by total immersion. We need to test the exact parameters—"

"I'M ALREADY TESTING IT!" Floyd yelled, pulling the baby out of the water and holding him in the air. He watched in awe as the human form slowly returned, leaving the baby confused and drooling. And thus, Floyd's hyperfocus phase began.

---

Ah... Azul Ashengrotto, the child's godfather. He suffered.

Not because he was directly threatened — the Leeches never needed to resort to vulgar threats. It was the 'power of longtime friendship', as Jade preferred to call it. Floyd called Azul at 3 a.m. "Azul, we need a bigger aquarium. No, bigger than those display ones. Bigger. The baby needs space to swim."

Jade, on his end, as a way of 'calling in a favor' for the services he and Floyd maintained for Azul, sent detailed lists of diapers, clothes, and educational toys fundamental for the infant's cognitive development. All lists were preceded by a gentle: "With all our affection, Azul. It would be an immeasurable pity if something disturbed the Mostro Lounge's expansion contracts on the surface, don't you agree?"

The house was completely renovated. The pool got a professional-grade heating and filtration system. Built-in wall aquariums were installed in the living room and the baby's room. Floyd even tried to buy live fish at a pet shop to "teach Cyan how to ambush", but you strictly prohibited any savage method of education after he came home with a bucket full of tilapia.

"Floyd, he is less than eleven months old! His teeth have barely come in!" was what you ended up arguing, exasperated.

"But he needs to learn, Shrimpy! How is he going to survive in the trenches of the Coral Sea if he doesn't know how to bite the prey's neck?" Floyd countered, genuinely confused by your indignation.

"He is NOT GOING to the Coral Sea alone!" you pointed out.

"Then I'll go with him! We'll hunt together!" Floyd retorted, disappointed by the refusal, after all, he was just trying to be a good dad!

The argument lasted for hours. Jade ended up intervening with arguments about the immaturity of the human digestive system for the consumption of unfilleted raw fish. In the end, the tilapias were returned.

---

Cyan's first year was a whirlwind of discoveries. He learned to crawl and try to take small steps with Jade, who watched him with a researcher's eyes, mentally noting every fall and every time the baby shoved dirt, chalk, and — on one memorable occasion — a beetle into his mouth.

"Tactile and sensory exploration," Jade calmly justified, while wiping the drool and insect remains from the child's face.

Cyan called Jade "Dada" — a dragged-out, drooly version of the word —, but that was enough to make Jade flash that polite and dangerously satisfied smile, exhibiting a possessive affection he didn't even try to hide.

With Floyd, on the other hand, Cyan learned to swim. To attack with his little teeth (which pinched, but didn't pierce the skin). To jump from the edge of the pool and fall into the water with a clumsy dive. And, most importantly: he learned that crying underwater is useless, since the sound doesn't echo. So, he learned to bite and thrash when he was frustrated. Floyd thought that was hilarious and absolutely admirable.

"Wow, he's so aggressive! I'm so proud!" Floyd would say, holding Cyan in the air while the furious baby tried to bite his nose in retaliation.

---

And then came the fateful family gathering.

Georgiana, the twins' mother, was radiant. She visited the terrestrial residence with a serene elegance, admiring her grandson with eyes that were already planning trips to the deep currents of the Coral Sea and possible methods of lethal aquatic education. "When he gets older, I will take him to see the abyssal trenches," she commented, stroking Cyan's hair.

The baby, in turn, was on Jade's lap, babbling "Dada" Floyd, sitting next to them, persistently poked the child's belly, making Cyan laugh and try to bite his finger in response. The scene was almost normal.

Until Azul showed up.

He arrived loaded with absurdly expensive gifts (probably to redeem himself from some imaginary debt and avoid retaliation from the twins). During afternoon tea, while Georgiana was distracted by the sweets and {{user}} was busy following the conversation, Azul leaned back in his armchair, flashing that astute smile as if he had planned his 'revenge'.

"Jade, Floyd... allow me an innocent question." He adjusted his glasses with his index finger. "Since biological paternity is an irrelevant mystery to you... which of the two is, let's say, the 'soul father'? You know, the primary attachment figure. The one the baby respects most, imitates most, loves most? I am not implying that one is superior to the other, of course." He let out a nervous but calculated chuckle. "It is merely academic curiosity."

The silence that followed made the temperature in the room drop sharply.

Floyd stopped poking the baby. Jade stopped rocking Cyan. They both turned their heads simultaneously, with the same precision and coldness of deep-sea predators, fixing their eyes on Azul.

Azul, brave (or perhaps just foolish), continued: "I mean, Cyan calls Jade 'Dada', but clearly spends more time in the water with Floyd... But the soul father. The one with whom the child has true instinctive affinity. Who he obeys first. The favorite, so to speak."

Georgiana noticed the change in atmospheric pressure and raised an eyebrow, but didn't move a muscle to intervene. She loved watching her sons compete. She claimed it was excellent for their character.

Azul, extremely satisfied with the seed of discord he had just planted, took a long sip of his tea, stood up quickly, and dropped a classic: "Well, I just remembered an urgent meeting regarding business expansion! See you later!" And he vanished out the front door before the twins could process the offense or block the exit.

---

The silence remained.

Now, with the guests gone, the house had returned to its peculiar quietness. Cyan was sitting on the living room rug, surrounded by building blocks and a plush octopus (which Floyd had made a point of buying just to provoke Azul, who watched the baby chew the cloth tentacles all afternoon). The child's gaze was fixed on nowhere, completely oblivious to the palpable tension beginning to condense the air between the two adults standing a few meters away.

Floyd was the first to move. He crouched in front of the baby, resting his elbows on his knees, and tilted his head, evaluating the child like one studying rare prey. "So... soul father, huh?" His voice came out slow, casual, but carried a thread of lethal curiosity. "Azul said that playing dumb. But now I'm thinking... He clearly imitates me more."

Jade tilted his head to the other side, the polite smile meticulously stitched onto his face. "I cordially disagree. He vocalizes 'Dada' directed at me. That is a primary linguistic achievement. He actively seeks intellectual communication with me."

"He bites along with me. That's hunting instinct. That's primary respect, Jade." Floyd countered, his eyes shining.

"Respect? He tries to bite off your fingers because you throw him in the pool without prior warning, Floyd." Jade pointed out, crossing his arms, his voice soft as velvet.

"And he loves it! Have you seen him laughing when I throw him? He thinks it's so much fun!" Floyd gestured exaggeratedly, pointing at the baby and then standing up.

"Momentary excitement is not synonymous with paternal preference, dear brother." Jade retorted, taking an elegant step forward.

They both turned to Cyan. The baby, at that exact moment, was trying to shove an entire square block into his mouth, drooling intensely.

Jade knelt down and removed the block from the child's mouth with extreme delicacy. "Cyan, darling, who do you prefer? Dada or Floyd?"

Cyan looked at Jade's face, blinking slowly, without understanding a single syllable of that demand that was way too complex for a child who barely knew the meaning of his own existence.

Floyd bent down right after, invading the baby's visual space. "Cyan, who do you want? Who's the best dad?" He reached out, poking his son's cheek.

Cyan, excited by the movement, rose clumsily on his little legs and sank his baby teeth right into Floyd's index finger.

Floyd looked triumphantly at Jade, flashing a toothy smile. "See?! He chose me! Instinct doesn't lie!"

Jade sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers. "He bit your finger, Floyd. That is merely a rudimentary manifestation of the oral phase of motor development. It has absolutely no correlation with instinctive affinity or emotional choice."

The argument escalated quickly. The two started talking at the same time, their voices overlapping. They pointed at the baby, at the backyard pool, at the rug, at the educational toys. Each defended their parenting methodology as if it were an irrefutable doctoral thesis.

"— Very well," Jade interrupted suddenly. His voice came out low, sharp, and dangerously serene. "If that is how it will be, I propose an empirical and impartial observation. Let us catalog with whom Cyan spends more qualitative time, who he spontaneously seeks out in moments of stress, and to whom he responds with greater obedience. The title of 'soul father' shall belong to the one who demonstrates the greatest statistical influence on his overall development."

Floyd tilted his head back with a slight snort but offering a faint smile. "That sounds incredibly boring and bureaucratic. But I'm in. Except I also set criteria. Like: who makes him laugh the loudest, who he bites the hardest, and who he calls when he wants to go into the water to drown things."

You watched it all from the couch, rubbing your face with your hands. You had the distinct impression that this was just the prologue to an impending disaster.

The competition had begun.